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one
Dancing is his greatest passion and he loves it and all, but if Minho makes them run through this routine one more time he will lose his mind. Hyunjin looks at the clock and to his horror, the red LEDs already show 20:04. He just hopes that his mum won’t behead him for missing the family dinner.
‘Don’t we pretty much have it down already?’ Felix pants, as he falls down where he is standing in the middle of the studio. ‘We should just continue tomorrow.’ The blonde reaches for the towel on his bag and buries his face in it.
Minho puts down his water bottle and furrows his brows for a few seconds before his expression softens. ‘But no slacking off. Tomorrow I want this to be flawless.’ Hyunjin thinks about the upcoming showcase and it sparks some kind of determination but his tired out muscles aren’t quite as affected by that and so he just slumps against the wall.
Hyunjin lets his head fall against the mirror behind him. The glass is cold and soothing against the back of his head and he closes his eyes for a moment. He hears Felix shout a playful ‘Aye aye, sir!’ i response to Minho and smiles a little. Despite being ready to drop from an intense practice, Felix never seems to lose his spirit and vigour. Hyunjin knows that Minho only pretends to be unfazed. In reality, he has the biggest soft spot in the world for Felix. He sees Minho’s pretend-annoyed eyebrow lift before his inner eye and smiles a little.
‘Don’t fall asleep here dude,’ Felix reminds him and Hyunjin weakly waves his hand in the direction he assumes Felix to be. He receives a chuckle in response before he hears Felix get up from his place on the floor.
A few seconds later the other two say goodbye to him before the door clicks and Hyunjin is alone in the stuffy studio. It still reeks of sweat and even though Hyunjin feels like he could pass out right then and there, he opens his eyes and slowly gets up to gather his belongings.
He feels every single one of his muscles as he walks down the stairs of the dance company’s building and he kind of wants to curse Minho. He doesn’t though because he knows that the older is doing his best in order to get them to be in their best shape. The fresh air outside wakes his tired brain up a little and the evening breeze is refreshingly cool. If Hyunjin wasn’t so eager for a shower, he definitely would take a little more time to appreciate it.
The small bakery looks as inconspicuous as ever when Hyunjin passes it. Since he is going home later than usual, they are in the middle of closing up. He stops in his tracks to watch. Hyunjin cannot say for sure what it is that captivates him. Maybe it is the tranquillity of the cleared out shop, but much more likely it’s the cute way the eyes of the boy wiping the counter crinkle as he laughs at something his co-worker says.
He doesn’t know how long he stands there until cute boy is standing right in front of him and talking. Apparently to him.
‘You look tired. Do you want a cupcake?’ The boy’s eyes crinkle again as he smiles.
His voice is cute too, Hyunjin’s brain unhelpfully adds, instead of replying to cute boy. Realising that he’s very awkwardly standing around staring and not answering, Hyunjin quickly clears his throat and clumsily makes up a response. The boy blushes (adorably, like his brain adds again) and Hyunjin wishes he could remember what he just said.
‘It’s at least ten times sweeter than me, to answer your question. And don’t worry, you don’t need to pay for it, they’re leftovers anyway!’ The boy still hasn’t stopped smiling and Hyunjin is starting to think that he might not need any more sugar in his system or he might get diabetes.
Hyunjin’s brain is slowly processing what cute boy said and he realises that he needs to answer again. ‘If you’re sure that it’s okay, I’d love to have a one,’ he manages to consciously say without stumbling over his words and even smiles at cute boy afterwards. That counts as a success.
Cute boy’s smile grows even wider and he turns around to go back into the shop. Probably to get the cupcake. Hyunjin’s brain is really being helpful today. The boy turns around when he reaches the door and waves Hyunjin towards him. ‘You can come inside if you want to, we’re just cleaning up!’ Cute boy’s smile is really distracting. Hyunjin stays glued to his spot for a few more seconds before slowly following him.
The inside of the bakery is as cosy as it looks. It smells like baked goods and hot chocolate with a hint of coffee and the lights bathe the room in a warm orange. The shop is warm in contrast to the outside, but it’s the nice kind that makes you feel protected. Hyunjin immediately feels at home.
Cute boy returns soon after with whole box full of cupcakes. They all have different coloured frostings and sprinkles and Hyunjin thinks that his jaw probably just dropped to the floor. ‘You can choose whichever you like. The dough is the same for all of them but as you can see the frosting is different and some of them are filled with chocolate or vanilla pudding too.’ The boy goes on to talk about the different flavours but Hyunjin can’t really concentrate anymore. He takes a cupcake with soft pink frosting and rainbow coloured sprinkles and smiles. Cute boy stops talking. ‘I like this one. It reminds me of you.’ Hyunjin gives him a bright smile.
A light blush spreads over cute boy’s cheeks and Hyunjin feels a little accomplished. ‘Hm… I feel like I’m more of a chocolate cupcake tho.’ Cute boy points at one of the dark chocolate cupcakes as he says so. His eyes crinkle again as the corners of his mouth turn upwards.
Hyunjin shrugs a little. He looks at the cupcake and then at the cute boy again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that I don’t need to pay for this?’
Cute boy’s smile doesn’t falter. ‘No worries. As I said, it’s on me, pretty boy!’
His expression must have been a little starstruck because cute boy lets out a giggle before turning back to the counter. When Hyunjin regains his composure, he smirks. ‘Thank you, cupcake. Have a nice evening!’
If the cute boy hadn’t been standing with his back turned Hyunjin would have seen the blush on his cheeks for the third time that evening before he left.
two
Hyunjin makes it his routine to stay in the studio for an hour longer every night. He tells himself it’s because he needs to practice more, but really he’s just trying to pass by the bakery and see cute boy again when they’re closing up and no one is there to disturb their little talks. Felix and Minho don’t question him about it, except for one comment Felix makes about not overworking himself and taking enough breaks in between and Hyunjin is very grateful for that. He doesn’t feel like answering a bunch of questions about his sudden affinity for cupcakes. Or the cute boy handing out the cupcakes, for that matter.
Hyunjin starts going to the bakery every night and from the second week on he can often already see cute boy (he found out that his name is Seungmin, but he has taken a liking to the nickname) waiting for him. It makes his heart jump a little, almost as much as the smile Seungmin usually shoots him. There always seems to be at least one leftover cupcake for Hyunjin to eat while Seungmin is cleaning up the store. Hyunjin is always the one who initiates their conversations and most of the time these conversations just consist of Hyunjin telling Seungmin about his day, but that’s okay. Despite being someone who usually cannot stand silence because it makes him uncomfortable, Hyunjin enjoys sitting in silence with Seungmin. It’s uncharacteristic for him and Felix would probably wiggle his eyebrows at him in typical Felix-fashion if he knew, but he doesn’t and so Hyunjin doesn’t give it any more thought.
It’s Tuesday and he’s back at the bakery. Seungmin is currently counting the day’s revenue at the counter, his brows furrowed a little as he calculates. Hyunjin watches him as he bites on the tip of the pencil and he thinks that it’s unnecessarily cute and distracting of Seungmin to do that. It’s silent, but it’s a comfortable silence. The only sound is that of cute boy’s pen over the paper. It’s kind of enchanting, the way time seemed to stop at that moment. Nothing special is happening, nothing out of the ordinary yet everything seems to stand still. Hyunjin watches as Seungmin completes his calculations and an accomplished smile appears on his face.
‘We still have leftovers, pretty boy.’ Seungmin seems to have taken a liking to Hyunjin’s nickname too, as he kept calling him pretty boy . If Hyunjin’s heart jumped a little every time he did, he tried to not make it too obvious. It made him feel flustered and timid and simultaneously giddy and accomplished.
‘That’s why I’m here.’ Hyunjin smirks. Seungmin fakes a pout. ‘You don’t come here to see me? I knew you only liked me for my baking.’ The pout makes Seungmin look adorable and his lips look puffy and kissable and Hyunjin is caught off-guard for a second.
‘ Your baking? As if you make all of this,’ Hyunjin teases after regaining his composure. He thinks that it just wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the word if, in addition to already being the kindest, cutest and smartest boy in the world, Seungmin was also this good at baking.
‘Okay, you got me. I only make the cupcakes. But since you only eat those, my point still stands.’ Seungmin carefully takes the cupcakes with more intricate designs from the display and places them in front of Hyunjin. His eyes linger on a pink one, almost identical to the one he had during his first time coming here. He points at it. ‘This one is still my fave. It’s so cute but it still doesn’t look too tacky or excessive. It’s gentle and sweet.’ Like you.
There’s a small silence as Hyunjin’s eyes scan the rest of the cupcakes. He opts for a chocolate one in the end, but only after Seungmin swats his hand away from his favourite pink one, saying that he should treat his taste buds with some more diversity. Hyunjin pretends to be offended for a second but he can’t even stay pretend-mad when the cupcake tastes as sweet as Seungmin’s smile looks. When Seungmin takes the pink cupcake barely thirty seconds later he pouts pretends to have sustained a bullet wound to the chest and clutches his heart in agony. Seungmin just laughs and sticks out his tongue. At this rate, Hyunjin thinks he might be in danger of suffering of a heart attack.
Even though Seungmin insists that he just accepts the free cupcakes, Hyunjin ends up helping Seungmin clean up the bakery ‘in return for the formidable cupcakes and the even better company.’ He still retreats after smashing the second piece of tableware, but Seungmin smiles at him warmly and so Hyunjin tells himself that it’s the thought that counts. In the back of his head, he hears Minho saying that it really isn’t but he ignores the thought because Seungmin doesn’t look mad at all. Later, he helps Seungmin reach a bottle on the top shelf and Seungmin smiles at him as if he had just cleaned the whole shop all by himself and maybe that’s enough.
three
‘Hey, cupcake?’
To Hyunjin’s disappointment, Seungmin stopped blushing at the pet name after about a week, but his little smile still makes it more than worth it. And also Hyunjin just thinks it suits him. Seungmin still calls him pretty boy anyway.
‘Do you ever wonder if fish drink?’ Hyunjin slumps back into the armchair he is sitting in and looks at the ceiling. ‘Since they’re always inside the water anyway.’
Seungmin laughs. ‘How do you even think of these questions?’ Hyunjin sits up and shrugs. He looks over at Seungmin who is wiping the tables in the small shop. ‘I think one of my friends talked about his boyfriend wanting a pet fish or something earlier and it’s been in my head ever since.’ Seungmin nods and Hyunjin lets his head fall back against the chair again.
‘It depends on whether they live in salt or in fresh water.’ Hyunjin abruptly snaps his head back up and looks at Seungmin, who has moved to the counter and is meticulously entering the expenses and revenue of the day into a tablet. Hyunjin had asked him why he didn’t do it like that all the time a few days ago, since calculating by hand must be ‘a pain in the ass’. Seungmin had told him that he hated using the tablet because he didn’t fully understand how it worked and Hyunjin had laughed at him.
‘Saltwater fish drink, because there is a lower salt concentration on the inside of their bodies than outside. To balance out the concentration difference, water from the outside enters the fish.’ Hyunjin blinks. Seungmin sets down the tablet and walks to the sink to get the cleaning supplies before continuing. ‘In fresh water, the concentration of salt is higher inside the fish, therefore they don’t take up any water.’
‘How and why do you know that?’
Seungmin shrugs. ‘I know all sorts of things.’ He dampens a cloth and turns back to the counter to wipe it. ‘Aren’t we the same age? You should know too. We had that in class.’ Hyunjin bites his lip and shifts in his chair.
‘I guess we did something like that probably.. but I’m not good at applying stuff I learn at school in real life though.’ Hyunjin tries to avoid the topic and observes Seungmin for a few more seconds before looking at the ceiling again.
Seungmin just smiles but doesn’t answer anything and it’s quiet again. The last evening sun rays tickle Hyunjin’s face and he feels himself drifting away. The only thing he remembers before his consciousness gives out is a low and calming humming. It doesn’t sound like a song on the radio and it’s nothing classical either. It’s something unique, that he had never heard before, but somehow it made him feel like he had just come home.
‘Hyunjin, please wake up I need to leave and you should too.’ Hyunjin’s eyes flutter open slowly. His brain takes a moment to register the situation and for a split second, he thinks this might be a dream because Seungmin is smiling gently at him and he’s so close that Hyunjin can feel his breath. To his disappointment (or is it relief?) Seungmin pulls away very soon. ‘Come on sleepyhead, won’t your parents worry? We should both head home.’
Hyunjin nods absentmindedly. He fell asleep. That’s so embarrassing. In front of Seungmin. Even more embarrassing. What if he was drooling? What if he slept in an ugly position? What if he talked in his sleep? Hyunjin feels his cheeks heat up. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he stutters as he quickly stands up from the armchair. Not one of his smartest decisions. He feels everything spin around him for a few seconds before a pair of steady hands grabs onto his shoulders. ‘Are you okay?’ Seungmin looks at him with worrisome eyes and if Hyunjin’s brain had been fully functional at that moment he would have felt a little tug at his heartstrings. ‘You shouldn’t get up so abruptly, it’s not good for your circulatory system.’ Hyunjin wants to nod but his head is still buzzing and so he just continues to look at Seungmin. His eyes sparkle a little and Hyunjin thinks that maybe this is the reason why he feels so dizzy. It certainly seems logical.
‘Do you want some water?’ Seungmin’s hands are still on his shoulders and it’s really distracting. Hyunjin wants to curse his heart.
He attempts to shake his head but finds out that isn’t the most clever thing to do either and stops halfway, instead opting for a vocal denial. His voice cracks in the middle of his monosyllabic answer and he feels really pathetic. Seungmin gives him a quizzical look that obviously says ‘I don’t believe you’ before gently pushing Hyunjin back into the armchair and heading towards the refrigerator with cold drinks. Hyunjin tries to protest but Seungmin still takes out a bottle of water and hands it to him. ‘Just because some fish don’t drink doesn’t mean you don’t have to.’
Hyunjin manages to giggle at that and takes the water with a small ‘thank you, cupcake’. Seungmin just smiles at the nickname and continues to look at him as he drinks. Suddenly, Hyunjin is hyper-aware of everything. His heartbeat seems disproportionately loud in comparison to his surroundings, the street lamp on the other side of the street is flickering, Seungmin’s gaze on him makes him feel very warm. ‘Please stop staring at me,’ he mumbles before taking a long sip of water.
It’s really adorable, the way Seungmin’s gaze shies away as his cheeks redden a little. Hyunjin is almost sure that his heart starts beating even louder than before.
four
The light in the bakery is the same warm yellow as orange and it still smells like cinnamon, coffee and Seungmin, but something is throwing Hyunjin off. He looks around and can’t spot any differences, but the unfamiliar feeling in his stomach stays. He leans against the counter.
Can I ask you something, cupcake?’
Seungmin responds with a soft hum, just loud enough for Hyunjin to hear. It makes him feel disgustingly domestic, the fact that he is so used to calling Seungmin by this nickname and Seungmin’s seemingly indifferent responses to it.
Hyunjin thinks for a second and looks around the shop again. ‘‘Why does today feel different?’ It bugs him. Nothing looks different, the tables and shelves still in the same places, but something feels different.
The other stops in his movement and turns towards him. ‘What do you mean?’ Hyunjin doesn’t know how to reply. He exhales slowly. ‘I don’t know it’s just. Everything looks and smells the same as always but it feels off? I have no idea how to explain it, sorry.’ He sighs. ‘I sound dumb.’
Seungmin shakes his head forcefully. His hair is a little curly today and it makes it look really soft. Hyunjin thinks that he needs to stop letting himself be distracted by those small things about Seungmin. ‘You don’t sound dumb. I think it might be the music?’ Hyunjin blinks. Only now he actively notices the soft melody seeping through the speakers around the room and he smiles. ‘The speakers were broken for about a month but my mum had them fixed today. Maybe that’s what’s putting you off? If not then I have no idea, sorry.’ Hyunjin shakes his head as he looks at Seungmin in awe.
‘No, I think that’s exactly it.’
‘If you don’t like it I can turn it off!’ Seungmin suddenly turns around and grabs for a remote. Hyunjin reaches for it as well and their hands touch. He feels electrified. It’s a little ridiculous how Seungmin just keeps making him feel these clichés. ‘Don’t.’ He slowly withdraws his hand and ignores the way it suddenly feels too cold. ‘Don’t turn it off. I like it.’ Seungmin nods slowly and sets down the remote and stays frozen for a moment. Hyunjin is still looking at him and time stands still for a few seconds.
The music changes from a soft song that sounded like some cheesy drama soundtrack to a Twice song and they break out of their trance. Seungmin clears his throat. ‘I- I need to clean up.’ Hyunjin’s heart jumps at the small stutter.
Seungmin closes the accounting book and lets out a sigh. ‘I’m done.’ Hyunjin smiles. ‘With cleaning up or with your life?’ His smile only brightens as Seungmin replies with ‘both.’
Hyunjin gets up from his now-standard armchair and walks towards where Seungmin is leaning against the counter. There’s a Day6 song playing in the background and Hyunjin kind of wants to curse the cheesy lyrics because he feels whipped enough already. To his relief, the song changes when he reaches Seungmin but barely ten seconds later he notices that it’s another love song and he thinks he’ll just give up.
All I know is
Seungmin is looking at him quizzically as Hyunjin holds out his hand.
We could go anywhere
‘Come on, cupcake, dance with me.’
We could do anything
Hyunjin isn’t sure whether his suggestion is a good idea or not but the situation was overwhelming and Seungmin, curse that boy, looked so cute that he couldn’t stop himself. Speaking of it, just when Hyunjin thought Seungmin couldn’t get any cuter he smiles at him like that and takes his hand.
All I know is
He didn’t know that he was taller than Seungmin but now that he does he thinks he likes it.
Getting lost late at night, under stars
Seungmin’s head is resting on his chest and his hair is tickling Hyunjin's nose but he doesn’t mind at all.
Finding love standing right where we are
He feels warm, not only because Seungmin is a walking hot water bottle.
Anywhere with you feels right
He rest his head on Seungmin’s and lets his hands fall down to rest on the other’s hips.
Anywhere with you feels like
Hyunjin thinks that surely Seungmin can feel his erratic heartbeat through his chest.
Paris in the rain
The music turns into background noise and he lets himself melt under Seungmin’s hands on his shoulders.
five
The steps are familiar, simple even. The routine is burned into his head and muscle memory and Hyunjin should be able to dance it in his sleep, but for some reason, today is an off day. He stops in his movement when he messes up the same part for the fifth time that day and Felix bumps into him two beats later. ‘What the hell, dude?!’
It’s not meant to come off rude and Felix himself looks shocked at the sharpness of his voice. Hyunjin looks at his feet and mumbles an apology. Meanwhile, Minho has stopped the music and walks over to them. He stands in front of Hyunjin and waits for him to lift his head. When he does, Minho’s expression is as unreadable as ever and he feels himself shrink despite being the tallest of the trio.
‘What’s up with you today?’ Hyunjin feels himself relax a little bit upon hearing the gentle undertone of Minho’s voice. It kind of breaks his heart, hearing Minho so concerned. His reply is unsure and hesitant, less because he doesn’t want to tell his friends but more so because he does not know himself. ‘I’m not sure.’
Hyunjin looks back at his feet. He can still feel both Minho’s and Felix’s eyes on him. It makes him feel even more uneven, despite knowing that their eyes were held nothing but worry and care. The studio is quiet. Felix reaches out and a warm hand is placed on Hyunjin’s shoulder. It’s not an explanation, neither is it a cure for his weird mood, but it’s a kind of comfort and Hyunjin appreciates it.
Minho lets him rest for a few minutes and he sits down to watch Felix freestyle to a Kendrick Lamar song while Minho stands across from him. He is pretending to judge the youngest strictly, but Hyunjin can see the pride and fondness glistening in Minho’s eyes. They stay like that for a while, Minho and Hyunjin watching Felix. The song switches from Kendrick Lamar to Chris Brown but Felix makes an effortless transition and Hyunjin thinks that the smile on Minho’s lips probably couldn’t be any bigger. It almost makes him smile too but somehow he can’t quite feel happy today. Minho shoots him a quick look and he tries to force a smile but he can see the stars in Minho’s eyes fade and a crease forming between his eyebrows. His gaze drops.
‘Hyunjinnie, what do you think we order something to eat?’ Felix is breathing heavily. ‘I’m in the mood for something with lots of sugar and calories,’ Minho adds. ‘It’s cheat day.’ Felix laughs. ‘You’re not even on a diet.’ They are trying to distract him, Hyunjin can see right through them. He nods though, for one because he appreciates the effort and also because he could really use some sugar in his system. Felix shoots him a bright smile and takes his phone from his bag. Minho looks over his shoulder curiously and points at something on the screen. Hyunjin sees Felix’s smile widen and decides that the other two are doing fine on their own.
‘Just get me whatever. I like surprises.’ He leans against the wall and closes his eyes. Felix and Minho give him a hum in response. They continue quietly talking about their order and Hyunjin tunes them out.
He is interrupted from his thoughts when he feels Felix sit down next to him. It’s easy to tell that it’s him, even without looking, because Felix has been his friend for so long that he can even tell it’s him by the sound of his butt plopping onto the floor. ‘They’ll be here in ten minutes.’ Hyunjin hums. ‘I’ll give you my money to pay but you need to get them, Felix and I already ordered,’ Minho adds. He hums again in response. Hyunjin doesn’t mind going downstairs and opening the door if he doesn’t even have to pay.
Nonetheless, he only gets up very reluctantly when the doorbell rings and pretends to be too tired to move. Minho and Felix just shoo him out of the practice room laughing and he complies to his fate.
‘Hello, is this Mr Lee Feli-’ Seungmin stops. ‘Hyunjin.’
It takes Hyunjin a few more seconds than Seungmin to process the situation. He looks at the box in Seungmin’s hands and then at Seungmin again.
‘It’s so nice to see you!’ Seungmin smiles and Hyunjin melts a little. ‘These are for a Lee Felix, is he your friend?’ Seungmin continues.
Hyunjin nods slowly. ‘Yes they, we- yes.’ He wants to bury himself. Where did his confidence go? Seungmin is still smiling at him and he regains his composure at least partly. ‘How much do you get?’ He awkwardly holds up the wallet Minho had given him.
‘Now that I know they’re for you, nothing.’ Hyunjin wants to die. ‘Listen, cupcake, you can’t keep giving me stuff for free. It’s bad for your business and it makes me feel terrible. I feel like I’m exploiting you.’
Seungmin pouts and it takes all of Hyunjin’s self-control and resolve to not give in. ‘You’re not exploiting me. I wouldn’t offer if I minded, Hyunjin.’ His voice is calm and serious and Hyunjin doesn’t know how to respond to that so instead, he just takes some bills out of Minho’s wallet and pushes them into Seungmin’s hands. ‘Take it anyway. Please.’
Seungmin smiles and looks at the money. ‘Okay, but let me at least give you back the change.’ Hyunjin sighs resignedly. ‘Alright.’
He sets down the box onto the counter next to him and accepts the coins Seungmin hands him. ‘Thank you.’ Hyunjin nods. ‘I’ll see you tonight?’ Another nod. Seungmin smiles a little and turns around. Hyunjin’s mind is racing and he thinks he must be insane as he grabs Seungmin’s wrist and whirls him around. The expression on Seungmin’s face is a mix of confusion, expectation and hope and Hyunjin takes a careful step towards him.
He isn’t sure what he is planning to do, his hands and feet moving on their own but he doesn’t question it as long as Seungmin doesn’t pull away. His grip on Seungmin’s wrist loosens and Seungmin takes the chance to intertwine their fingers. Hyunjin is close enough to feel Seungmin’s breath on his face and it makes him feel dizzy in the most intoxicatingly beautiful way he thinks is possible. Seungmin has to look up a bit to look into his eyes and Hyunjin feels his heart swell.
Time seems to stand still but at the same time, everything is happening all too quickly. Hyunjin can’t pinpoint the moment his other hand finds Seungmin’s cheek or the moment Seungmin’s lips find his but it does not matter anyway. He closes his eyes and lets himself melt into the moment, only concentrating on the way Seungmin tastes like chocolate frosting and home.
Seungmin is the one who pulls away first, only to let his head rest on Hyunjin’s chest. It’s silent for a moment until Hyunjin hears a giggle. More specifically, Seungmin’s giggle. He smiles.
They stay in their embrace for another moment until Seungmin lifts his head up and steps back a bit. ‘I need to get back to the bakery.’ He smiles warmly. ‘I can’t wait to see you later.’
Hyunjin nods and mirrors Seungmin’s smile. ‘Me neither.’