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Nancy considered herself a fairly gung-ho person. She never backed down from a dare, and she’d try almost anything once. Especially when her boyfriend was the one making the suggestion. But today, she was drawing a line.
“You want me to do what? ”
“C’mon, Nance. It’ll be fun.”
She scrunched up her nose. “Absolutely not.”
Spring break had just started and she’d been looking forward of week of doing what she should’ve been doing now; namely, making out with Jonathan in his car at the drive-in.
“I know you’ve played before. And it’s Will’s first time as Dungeon Whatever— ”
“Master,” Nancy corrected reflexively.
Jonathan’s mouth quirked.
“Oh, shut up.” Color was rising to her cheeks, ridiculously. “I don’t get how you’ve never played with them, you’re way more into nerd stuff and they all like you more than me— ”
This time, Jonathan couldn’t keep from laughing. “They’re a bunch of thirteen year old boys. I think they might like you more than me.”
Nancy rolled her eyes. “Dustin’s the only one with a crush on me.”
“Yeah, and I hear he’s your favorite.”
She almost choked. “He told them I said that?”
“I should think Will would top your list automatically,” Jonathan said wryly. “I mean, after all, he did let you pick the movie last week.”
“First of all, you’re the only person on earth who doesn’t appreciate 9 to 5. Will just agreed with me. And second,” she paused to crack open a can of Tab, “He is my favorite. Of your siblings. Happy?”
“Uncharacteristically,” he answered, kissing her exposed shoulder.
Nancy swatted him away. “You can’t seduce me into playing D&D with my brother and his friends. And now I really resent you for making me use the words ‘seduce’ and ‘my brother’ in the same sentence.”
“How bad can it be?” He murmured into her neck, apparently not dissuaded. “We hang out in your basement for an hour, win a board game, retreat to your room, and lock the door.”
For a beat, Nancy just stared at him. “Oh my god.” She shook her head. “You really don’t know anything about D&D.”
Jonathan pulled away, looking skeptical. “How complicated could it be? You pretend to be a knight or a wizard, or whatever. You save the princess, you eat Bugles until you want to puke.”
Nancy grinned wickedly. “Okay, I’ll play ball. But I want you to look back on this moment. And when you’re proven wrong, I want you to say, ‘my beautiful girlfriend who is a genius was completely right, and I wish I was getting to second base with her right now instead of doing math’.”
“I’ll say that right now,” he said, pulling her onto his lap. “Wait a second. Math?”
Nancy laughed, throwing her arms around his neck. “You’re in too deep now, Byers.”
Will, to his credit, was being much more patient that Mike would’ve been in his place.
“Mike’s already a paladin, so we don’t need another one in the party.”
Jonathan looked helplessly at Nancy. She pretended to be very engrossed in pushing back her cuticles, though she was clearly smirking.
“Okay, so I’ll be… a gnome?”
“Gnome is a race, paladin is a class,” Dustin threw in, mouth full of Bugles. That prediction, at least, had been accurate.
“I’ll just be a human, then. And whatever class you don’t have.”
“Boring,” declared Nancy, piping up from her end of the table.
“And you are?” Jonathan challenged, ignoring the exasperation creeping onto his little brother’s face.
“A half-elf,” she said, nonchalant. “Read it and weep.” She slid a photocopied sheet of paper across the table, filled out with her crowded cursive.
“This seems like cheating.”
“It’s called coming prepared.”
Lucas groaned. “Can you guys not be gross for a second? This is why we should’ve invited Max.”
“So you two could be gross?” Dustin fired back.
Lucas scowled.
“She doesn’t even like playing with us.” Mike said, looking up from his own sheet, which he had hastily making making notes on. “Just because it’s a game where she can’t beat everyone… ”
“You’re just mad she kicks your ass in every video game— ”
“She does not— ”
“It’s not Max’s fault the Chief won’t let your girlfriend come over all the time,” Lucas spat.
The room fell so quiet they could hear Holly’s babbling upstairs.
“I didn’t mean that,” Lucas said quickly.
Nancy shot Mike a look that Jonathan couldn’t quite decipher.
Mike shrugged in that boneless, lazy way boys his age exceeded in. “We wouldn’t be be doing this if El was over anyway. I’ve been meaning to show her the Ouija board.”
Dustin smacked his forehead. “God, that’s genius! We need to make some new friends so she can convince them they’re being haunted.”
Lucas grimaced. “This is why we never make any new friends, you realize.”
“Guys… ” Will said, glancing at Jonathan nervously.
“I’m putting human under race, right?” Jonathan cut in. “And for class I’ll put — ” He turned to the manual spread open on the table, brushing a few stray Bugles aside so he could read the page. “Uh, cleric?”
“Okay!” Will perked up. “Now you need to roll.”
“I’m going first?”
Nancy snorted.
“Uh no,” his brother replied, apologetically, eyes darting from Jonathan to Nancy and back again. “You need to roll to, like, decide stuff about your character.”
Lucas and Dustin shared a wary glance. Mike sighed audibly, earning him a kick under the table from his sister.
“You’re really going to give him one of the character sheets from the box? We’re running out,” Dustin said, voicing what Jonathan had to assume the rest of the boys were thinking.
“Yes,” Will answered defiantly, puffing out his chest. “He’s new.”
Strangely, Jonathan was reminded of his own attempts to initiate Will into the world of cool things, like Bowie and Blade Runner . He hadn’t really thought about it until now, but the sharing had seldom ever gone in the other direction.
“What’s your name going to be,” Nancy interjected, disrupting his brief introspection. “Jonathan the Wise?”
“He hasn’t even rolled for wisdom yet,” Mike said, with a tone of disgust he clearly reserved for his sister. “And your character doesn’t have to have your real name.”
“Yeah,” Will agreed, “We made our characters ages ago, so I didn’t really know that, but— ”
“Not my assassin,” Dustin interrupted. “He’s new.”
Mike frowned. “You’re the bard.”
“I told you guys, I rolled a really cool assassin character, and this is the perfect time to test him out!”
“You’re always the bard!”
“God, who cares, Mike?” Nancy leaned back on her chair, shooting Jonathan a look that said, in no uncertain terms, I told you so.
Jonathan looked back, with a half-shrug that said, it’s not so bad.
“Yeah, who cares! And you’re letting Will DM!”
“Because we’re in between campaigns and I didn’t have time— ”
Nancy rose an eyebrow delicately, her meaning clear: Uh, yeah. It totally is.
“And will you two stop that?” Mike groaned.
“Stop what?” Nancy said, folding her arms tightly over her chest.
Jonathan was uncomfortably reminded of her threat from the other night. At that moment, the idea that he could be in safely upstairs in her pastel room, on her pastel bed, putting his hands under her pastel shirt was fairly—
“That!” Mike cried, gesturing so wildly he knocked a can over.
“Jesus!” Nancy stood up, soaked in soda. “Be more of a spaz, will you?”
Jonathan tried not to notice that the very shirt he’d just been fantasizing about was now noticeably clinging to his girlfriend’s chest. Nancy met his gaze, and color rushed to her cheeks.
“I have to change,” she announced, bounding up the stairs.
“Need help?” Dustin called after her.
Jonathan cringed.
“Dude!” Lucas said, elbowing him in the ribs.
“I meant, like, getting paper towels or something. For the carpet!”
Mike had seemingly been disgusted into silence. Will just looked dazed.
“Jonathan is right there!”
“Jonathan understands the relationship I have with Nancy,” Dustin proclaimed. “Right, man?”
Jonathan held back laughter only for the sake of his brother, who looked like he might truly lose it if things got any further out of hand.
“Sure thing. Man.” Unable to help himself, he added, “I’m only counting down the days until your balls drop and she dumps me for you.”
Lucas cracked up, almost falling out of his chair. Will and Mike traded pained looks.
“My balls have totally dropped! And Steve said— ”
“You’re gonna take Steve’s advice? On Nancy?” Mike scoffed.
“Yeah!” Will rushed to his brother’s defense. “Jonathan’s much cooler than Steve! And he knows more about girls.”
Jonathan appreciated this claim, as dubious as it was.
“And Jonathan doesn’t monologue about basketball when Mom makes him come to dinner,” Mike said, like that settled things.
“Plus he listens to better music,” Will added.
“But Steve has better hair.” Dustin turned to Jonathan. “No offense.”
“None taken.” Jonathan rubbed his temples. “Are we going to get back to this game any point soon?”
“Jonathan did kind of steal his girlfriend, though,” Lucas jumped in.
“He did not!” Will turned to him. “I mean, you didn’t, right?”
“I did not,” Jonathan said through his teeth, “steal Nancy.”
Mike snorted. “Like anyone could make Nancy do anything she didn’t want to.”
“Steve was here when you guys were on your ‘trip’,” Dustin air quoted, “Like, all ready to apologize. With roses. It was honestly pretty lame.”
Jonathan hadn’t been expecting that. “He what? ”
Dustin went on, ignoring him. “So, if Jonathan hadn’t gotten Nancy out of town, she and Steve totally would’ve gotten back together.”
“It was Nancy’s idea to… ” Jonathan trailed off, a little annoyed at himself for getting defensive.
“My idea to what?”
Nancy chose that moment to appear at the top of the stairs, of course.
“To go see that crazy guy in Sesser,” Lucas supplied. How helpful.
As she came closer, Jonathan restrained a groan. She’d changed into a fairly innocuous oversized t-shirt. Except for the fact that it was his t-shirt.
“Ah,” was all she said, taking back her seat. “Well, we went to the lab first.”
“Why not take Steve?” Dustin asked, with faux-innocence.
Nancy glanced at Jonathan with a furrowed brow. He shook his head dismally.
“Steve thought I should leave it alone,” she answered, matter-of-fact. “Besides, he dumped me.”
“But why? Ow, stop elbowing me— ”
“I got really drunk. And he realized I liked Jonathan.”
“You did not.” Mike looked horrified. “You don’t drink.”
Nancy rolled her eyes. “Sure, I don’t.”
“So, could you guys buy us— ”
“No.” Jonathan and Nancy answered as one.
Will cleared his throat. They all turned to look at him, peering above the binder that was guarding his papers.
“So, uh. If you guys are done?”
“Sorry, bud,” Jonathan said, automatically.
“It’s fine!” Will reassured him. “First, you’re gonna do best 3 of 4d6.”
Jonathan blinked. “I don’t know what any of that means.”
The party groaned in unison, Nancy included.
It was another five hours before Jonathan and Nancy could convince the boys to let them leave.
“But the demi-lich!”
“And the Viscount’s daughter!”
“And— ”
“Guys,” Jonathan started, “It’s been fun, but— ”
Nancy help up her hand. “I’m casting sleep on me and Jonathan.”
“You want us to leave you here in the spire?” Dustin was horrified.
“Or kill us, I guess,” Nancy shrugged.
“That works!” Mike said, merrily.
“We won’t be able to vanquish it without you guys!” Lucas protested.
“Can’t hear you, sorry, under the influence of magic sleep.” Nancy said, getting up and grabbing Jonathan by the wrist.
Jonathan looked to Will. His brother gave him a nod and a smile. Happily, Jonathan let himself be dragged upstairs by his girlfriend, the voices of the boys still loud behind them.
“Will, you gotta go easy on us now, we’re gonna actually die.”
“We’ll see,” Will replied. “But if you die, then Mike’ll have to let you play your assassin character.”
“Don’t give him any ideas!”
“Let the man talk, Mike… ”
Swiftly, Nancy slammed the basement door shut, muffling the noise of the party below.
“What was I supposed to say again? Something about my beautiful girlfriend who happens to be a genius?”
She relinquished her vice grip on his wrist, trading it for a handful of his collar, and pulling him in for a kiss.
“I have to be wrong every once in a while. Just to keep it interesting.”
“And apparently you find the slaughter of innocents very interesting,” Jonathan teased.
Nancy huffed. “I’m chaotic evil! We can’t all be noble clerics. And I got vital information!”
“Wow,” he said, taking her hand as they made their way up the stairs.
“What!”
“I didn’t know my girlfriend was such a nerd.”
“Don’t make me uncast sleep on you!”
“I’m pretty sure you can’t do that.”
Nancy smiled enigmatically, opening her bedroom door. “But you’re not sure.”
“I can’t believe you wore this,” he muttered, tugging at the hem of her shirt once they were safely cloistered in her room. Or rather, his shirt on her.
“This old thing?” Her eyes gleamed with mischief. “I found it lying around.”
“Where, my bedroom floor?”
Nancy fell back onto her bed, landing with a thump. Jonathan followed suit, bracketing her frame with his. He reached for her (his) shirt again, posing the question with his eyes. Can I?
“Roll for initiative,” Nancy said, grinning.
He collapsed, laughing, onto her. “We’re never doing that again.”
“Eh.” She wrapped her arms around his chest, and flipped him over. “Never say never.”