Work Text:
Adamant had been a victory and a disaster. The wardens were now helping the Inquisition. But Hawke had been left behind. Varric currently sat in the tavern of Skyhold. It had been days since the dwarf had spoken a word. He had his head hung low with tears in his eyes and his mug of ale drained. His heart ached worse than it had during bartrands betrayal. Oh how he wanted to scream at Lavellan. If he were a stronger man he would have punched the female elf in the face and ran back to Kirkwall.
Closing his eyes to block out the laughter of the other patrons flashes of the others flew through his head. Isabella would no doubt be ready to kill who ever let their big teddy bear of a friend sacrifice himself once again. Anders would no doubt help Isabella and Merrill would follow. No matter their differences the two mages were both still fiercely protective of Hawke. ‘Saving him from himself’ as they would put it. Avaline and Sebastian would stay where they were. Mourning in silence just like Varric was now. Avaline would also have to hold back an enraged Carver. No doubt Junior would want blood. He would run in here blindly trying to kill the most powerful woman in all of Thedas and get himself killed….maybe? He probably wouldn’t if he found Fenris and they teamed up.
Oh god Fenris. Calloused hands gripped the tear stained pages of copied letters. Him and Hawke had plans to get married once all of this was over. They would go back to Kirkwall with Varric and everyone would be together again. A shudder ran down the gingers spine at the thought of Fenris’s reaction to his fiance's death.
Varric’s head hit the wooden counter. He tried to hold back the painful sobs building up in his chest. His brother was gone. The crazy mage human that had wormed his way into his heart was not coming back. In his turmoil the dwarf did not see Cullen walking towards him. The commander had gotten halfway to his comrade before Bull stopped him. They proceeded to argue in hushed whispers. Bull demanding Cullen leave Varric be. But Cullen countering with a statement that the man needed support. Sera watched the exchange from the stairs. It was hard for her to see her friend so closed off. The usually chatty dwarf pulled in and crying.
She crept out of the tavern and into the cool mountain air. The skys were grey and weeping. In fact they hadn’t stopped since Adamant. The skys seemingly mourning the Champion of Kirkwall as well. As fast as her legs could carrier her she ran into the throne room and looked for Cassandra. Once she spotted the Seeker, by the doors, Sera deflated. All of her previous confidence gone. The woman leaned against the aging wood. The scowl on her face making her appear much older than she was. Sera was almost to her when she spoke.
“Sera…”
“Yeah”
“Do you think Hawke believed in the maker?”
“Don’t know….he didn’t seen to be the type.”
With a nod of her head Cassandra casted her eyes downwards. The elf leaned against the doorway opposite to the human. They let minutes pass by with neither talking. The thunder, rain and laughfter of children playing in puddles filling the silence. Sera was the one to break it.
“Do ya think Varric will be alright? I mean he’s tough yah...I hope he dose.” Sera was caught off guard when red rimmed hazel eyes stared at her from the other door. It like being dumped in a mountain stream. Hawke’s death must have affected Cassandra too.
“No….I don’t think Varric will be alright Sera. They were brothers and bestfriends. Hawke would do anything for Varric and Varric would do anything for him. But now he’s gone. No...Varric won't be the same.” The seeker looked back out into the rain. Letting a stray tear slip down her cheek. They both stood in silence after that. Sera did not leave that spot till Cassandra did.
Solas was the first to approach Varric. Bull and Cullen were elsewhere probably arguing. He sat down on the stool next to his associate. Placing a simple hand on his back, Solas stayed. He could not fathom the pain in Varric’s chest and did not want to. He also was not any good with comforting the mourning. But a hand seemed to help ground the dwarf.
“You and Hawke seemed to be close. I’m sorry for his passing, he seemed like a good man.” The chuckle that left the broken dwarfs lips was nothing short of heart breaking. It was soft and hiccuped, dripping with guilt and pain. Solas removed his hand from Varric’s back only to hold his hand. Varric lifted his head and looked at him. Eyes rimmed red, stubble overgrown and his hair all hanging down.
“You could say so chuckles...Hawke was….hah he was something. Definitely something.” Varric squeezed the elf’s hand and closed his eyes again. Solas didn’t stop him, only ordered him another drink and remained by his side. Vivienne had walked in some short time later. The bar seemed to go quiet at her entrance but picked back up its boutstrous cheer once they were certain she wasn’t going to kill anyone. It brought a smile to Solace’s lips as the regal aristocrat sat on the rickety stool and ordered a glass of wine. Varric had looked at her and let out a strained laugh.
“What brings you here madam?” He was not met with a verbal response. Just a sympathetic look and a hand on his back. When the Orlesian wine was set in front of her she moved it over to the man in the middle. Pushing the stale fereldan ale out of his hand.
“Drink this dear...I..I heard it soothes the soul. Not to mention it’s more potent than that swill you’re drinking.”
Varric just looked at her. Surprise coloring his eyes before he laughed. A true genuine laugh. Solas and Vivienne would never say it outloud and deny it wholeheartedly but it eased their tension and brought smiles to their faces.
“Thanks Iron lady haha. You truly are the best. No offence chuckles”
“Non taken my friend”
Both mages were calmed by the return of laughfter and nickname if only for a short while. They sat with him. At some time into his third glass of wine he began to talk. He spoke of all the shit Hawke and him got into. He spoke of Isabela, Sebastian, Anders, Aveline, Marill, and others. But his breath hitched when he arrived at Carver and Fenris. Breaking down once again while explaining their stories.
Bull had come in half way through Varric’s stories. Krem leaning against a post listening as well. He approached him and leaned with his lieutenant. It hurt in all honesty, it hurt to see a man he joked with on the daily reduced to tears. But the qunari could understand it would be like him losing Krem….well probably worse.
Dorrian had come to. But instead of hanging by like his boyfriend and Krem he walked up to the three at the bar and sat with them. Ordering a drink and listening to the wild stories of Kirkwall and it’s champion. After that Bull and Krem joined as well. Leaving the ginger dwarf with a ghost of a smile as he explained a particular incident at the blooming rose which had gotten Hawke and Isabella banned for three months. It had everyone in the tavern laughing. Including Blackwell who had just walked in to escape the crying skies.
Cole had joined them shortly after. He sat on the bar in front of Varric, asking questions to distract his mind. Everyone was getting along. The dwarf felt a familiar sense of home. But this was different, this was his fereldan family. He would always miss his- he was cut short of that thought process by Vivienne asking about Hightown to which he answered happily as Cole braided his hair.
The rain still poured. The ground no longer able to hold the water was not drowned by and inch. Sera and Cassandra still leaned against the doors. Leliana and Josephine saw them as they exited the door to Josie's office. The two women helped drag the other two to the tavern where Josie held up several decks from wicked grace. A cheer erupted from everyone as tables and chairs were moved to accommodate the game. Varric, Solas, Vivienne and Cole remained at the bar and watched. Half way through Bull taking his pants off Cullen and the Inquisitor walked in. Cullen joined the game while Lavellan walked towards Varric and sat at his feet.
“I’m so sorry..” her voice was little more than a horse whisper. She leaned against Varric's legs and buried her face into his calves. He couldn't help the smile and tears that fell.
“It’s ok. Hawke’s always been a self sacrificing son of a bitch.” He ran his fingers through her hair and she nodded. They sat and watched as people stripped and screamed. It was fascinating and hilarious.
“I’m not convinced he’s dead Varric”
“Neither am I Lav...neither am I”
They smiled at their exchange and when back to watching the inquisition fool around. Vivienne held Varric’s hand tighter, Solas drank some ale, Lavellan leaned against his legs and Cole put the finishing flowers in a braid before moving onto another. With hope renewed Varric looked around at all the happy faces.
He was certain. Hawke would come back to them. He always had and always would.