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Yoongi walks out of Hoseok and Jimin’s room after having tucked Hoseok into bed, making sure to turn on the humidifier on his way out. Hoseok had been sick all day no matter what he said to the contrary, to the point they were forced to end dance practice early since he couldn’t finish a sequence without nearly coughing up a lung. Yoongi had taken the initiative to walk ahead to the dorms in order to get started on some hot ginger tea while Jimin and Jungkook basically carried Hoseok home.
When they arrived he quickly took over, placing his arm around Hoseok’s waist and allowing him to lean on him as he led them to his room where he'd already prepared the bed and some blankets, the tea steeping on his bedside table. He managed to get Hoseok under the blankets when a violent sneeze rang through the room jolting Yoongi from his reverie. Quickly, he helped Hoseok into a sitting position on the bed and handed him the tea along with some cold medicine to help put him to sleep.
"Thanks hyung," Hosek whispered hoarsely into his cup, his voice just loud enough for Yoongi to hear.
"It's not a problem Hobi-ah, we need our dance leader in top shape. Finish your tea and go to sleep, you need your rest. Call me if you need anything," as he made to get off the bed Yoongi leaned forward a bit and brushed his lips against Hoseok’s forehead. A light blush seemed to tinge the other’s high cheekbones but Yoongi dismissed it as just another cold symptom.
He closed the door behind him and headed toward the living room where the rest of his bandmates were huddled together on the couch, muttering about something or other.
"Jimin-ah make sure you’re quiet when you go to bed. Don't wake up Hobi," he says as he makes his way towards his own room. When he looks up he notices the rest are strangely quiet, ogling at him.
"What," he says sharply.
“Nothing,” Taehyung mumbles quietly.
“Clearly it’s not nothing if you’re all being weird. Spit it out.”
“It’s you,” Namjoon blurts out.
“Wha-“
“-and Hoseok.”
“What do you mean? Hoseok and I are fine. I literally just helped him to bed and gave him some medicine.”
“Exactly hyung.”
“So let me get this straight… You guys are being weird because I’m being helpful?” Yoongi asked slowly. “No yeah makes perfect sense. Let’s give Yoongi the third degree cause he’s not as cold hearted as everyone thinks,” he says sarcastically.
“No hyung, of course we know you care. It’s just. You’re always different with him,” Jungkook cuts in.
“How? I would and I have done that for any of you. All of you.”
“Not to that extent though.”
“I literally saw you tucking him into bed,” Jimin interjects.
“You’re softer with him hyung admit it,” Jungkook says stiffly.
“I really have no idea what you are talking about. I would have done that to any of you. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m tired,” Yoongi is already walking away not giving them a chance to say anything else.
When Yoongi reaches his room he slams the door a little harsher than he meant to making him wince. He starts undressing and getting into his pajamas still mulling over what happened just now. Rationally, he knows he’s a little bit more upset than the situation warrants. Sure the others had only mentioned something that they had noticed recently but it’s the implication that really bothers him. If only because it’s something that has been at the back of his mind for a while now. A thought he’s kept hidden and unacknowledged, locked behind a steel vault with chains and electric fences wrapped around it in the recesses of his mind. It scares him that that one thought has managed to seep through all his defenses without him knowing and infiltrated his actions, enough that even the others have noticed. No he’s not mad at them. They just want to make sure that there isn’t anything to worry about. He’s mad at himself and his stupid emotions he can’t keep in check. Fuck, he runs his hands through his hair. What if Hoseok has noticed something? Yoongi attempts to go to bed with his mind running a mile a minute.
After a few hours of tossing and turning around in bed, Yoongi gets up. He takes one look at his alarm clock and groans. It’s almost three in the morning and he hasn’t slept a wink. Across the room he sees Seokjin, even breaths causing his chest to rise and fall steadily. Oh how he envies him. After spending a few seconds searching for his slippers he steps out into the hall and towards the kitchen. A nasty cough from his right has him jumping nearly five feet in the air, like one of those hissing cats from the cartoons he used to watch.
“Sorry hyung,” Hoseok whispers. He’s swaddled in a burrito blanket on the couch cradling a mug of tea in his hands, his hair is all messed up. Yoongi feels his heart plummet and he just knows he’s fucked.
“What are you doing there Seok? Why aren’t you in bed?” Yoongi murmurs as he walks towards the couch to sit next to him, wrapping an arm around Hoseok’s shoulders.
“Couldn’t sleep. I can’t breathe when I lay down and I kept coughing and I didn’t want to bother Jiminie.”
Yoongi winces, Hoseok sounds worse than he did earlier and upon closer inspection he notes how pale he looks, with dark bags under his eyes, and thin sheen of sweat on his temples.
He guides Hoseok to lean against him as he rests back against the couch, Hoseok immediately places his head on Yoongi’s shoulder.
“Sleep, Hoseok-ah. Hyung will be here.”
With his arms around Hoseok, he closes his eyes and attempts to sleep. He can hear Hoseok’s heavy breathing, glad he’s finally able to get some rest. Just as his eyes are closing too, he feels Hoseok burrow his face into Yoongi’s chest, the older’s arms instinctively wrapping tighter around the other. And Hoseok is so ridiculously warm. Almost like a furnace and normally Yoongi would start to feel uncomfortable but for some reason it just feels right to have the sick boy in his embrace.
It feels right, this innate desire to care for him and make sure he’s healthy and happy and most of all loved. And Yoongi realises he can’t keep fighting it anymore. Can’t pretend there isn’t anything more than a simple friendship between them. Because what he feels is stronger than that, no matter what he told himself. He may have tried to bury his feelings but that doesn’t mean they aren't there, it doesn't mean the occasional stray thought wouldn't wander until he reined himself in.
Thoughts of holding the younger’s hand when they were out on cold winter nights, thoughts of kissing him good night and good morning, thoughts of taking him out on a date, going to see the cherry blossoms, making him laugh, dancing together just the two of them, together. It’s with images of what could be that Yoongi falls asleep with the boy of his dreams in his arms.
He wakes up to a clanging of pots in the kitchen, alone on the couch. Drowsy and a little disoriented he gets up, a hand going immediately to massage his now stiff neck. Seokjin steps out holding two mugs of coffee, holding one out for Yoongi.
“Thanks,” he says hoarsely.
“Hoseok went back to his room,” Seokjin says with a knowing glance. “You need to get ready. We’re all heading back to the studio to practice.”
It’s as they’re walking out and he’s more alert that he notices Hoseok is missing.
“Hoseok isn’t coming? Shouldn’t someone stay with him?”
“No, hyung. He’s still too sick. But we have to be ready for the comeback stages. You know he’ll get the dance in one day anyways so don’t worry,” Namjoon reassures him.
However, that’s all he does during practice. He’s out of rhythm and his counts are all wrong. Not even an hour into practice and he’s already asking for a break. Without waiting for the assent from their dance teacher, he rushes to his phone, texting Hoseok if he’s okay if he needs anything. And when they start again all he can do is continuously glance at his phone to see if the other has responded. The light flashes on his phone and Yoongi sprints to his phone only to see a text from his brother and none from Hoseok. He looks up in time to see the annoyed looks flash across his bandmates face.
“Yoongi-ssi, do you have somewhere else to be?” their dance teacher’s voice is stern. Yoongi hates being scolded so he bows and apologizes, promising to turn his phone off and work harder.
A couple hours later they’re dismissed for the day. Upon turning his phone back on he’s alarmed to discover Hoseok hasn’t texted him back all day.
“Guys, has Hoseok texted any of you?”
Mutterings of dissent have Yoongi panicking more than he already was. All he can think about is Hoseok all alone, what if he passed out and no one is there to help him?
Seokjin puts a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder, “Relax he’s probably still sleeping. Let’s all go out for lunch and we’ll bring him some food.”
“You guys go on ahead. I’m gonna go check up on him.”
Yoongi walks in the direction of the dorms in hurried strides. The only thing stopping him from breaking out into a full run is not wanting to draw attention to himself. He dodges and weaves through the foot traffic, sighing in relief when he reaches the apartment lobby entrance. He abandons the elevator in favor of running up the stairs, two at a time and when he reaches their apartment door he swings the door open calling out Hoseok’s name.
At hearing no response, the feeling of dread grows larger at the pit of his stomach. He marches into Hoseok’s room expecting to find him snuggled under all his blankets only to discover an empty bed and the sheets thrown on the ground.
He searches the rest of the apartment and comes up short. No Hoseok anywhere. He’s scared and nervous and angry at himself for leaving the boy alone in his state. He calls Hoseok’s phone and waits as it rings and rings and rings. When he gets his voicemail again he huffs in frustration. He tries again though as he paces through the living room and manages to hear a faint buzzing sound. Under a throw pillow is Hoseok’s phone, he can see all the missed calls and unread texts. If Yoongi was worried before, he can feel his panic skyrocketting now. Hoseok could be God knows where without a phone, probably still sick and on the verge of collapsing on his feet.
Yoongi’s vision starts going spotty and he nearly falls back onto the couch. He hadn’t noticed his breathing picking up and getting heavier. Still though, he feels like he can’t breathe, can’t get enough oxygen in him. He knows he’s probably overreacting and he needs to calm down so he can go find Hoseok but he can’t. His brain won’t stop coming up with different scenarios of what could have happened to Hoseok, each one worse than the last. Tears start prickling at the corners of his eyes and he shuts them tight, needs to get a hold of himself.
“Hyung? Oh my god what’s wrong are you okay?”
His eyes fly open to find Hoseok crouched down between his legs, a hand on his thigh, the other brushing the hair out of his face. Hoseok’s brows are furrowed and his expression frantic. Yoongi just throws himself around Hoseok who staggers back but manages to maintain his balance. He hugs the younger boy tight and feels the tears leaving wet tracks down his cheek.
“You weren't answering your phone and you were gone and I didn't know where to find you,” he manages to gasp out in between hiccups, “I was so fucking worried Seokie!” He punctuates the last statement with a slap to the other’s arm.
“I slept in till really late and I wanted something to eat but we didn't have anything so I went to the convenience store around the corner,” Hoseok holds his hyung just as tightly, letting his warmth and physical presence calm the other. “I didn't realize I’d left my phone. I’m so sorry hyung.”
“I’m just glad your home, safe and sound.”
Hoseok maneuvers them to the couch, Yoongi immediately latching onto Hoseok, resting his head on the latter’s chest. Yoongi’s breathing finally evens out as Hoseok caresses his back and arms, humming a little tune. And when he’s finally calm enough, he huffs out a slight laugh.
“What?”
“Nothing. Just. Last night I was the one holding you trying to make you feel better, Seok.”
“That’s why we’re so good together hyung. Cause we take care of each other.”
At that, a warmth blooms in Yoongi’s chest. They would be really good together. But it quickly deflates as he realizes they can’t be. Not in the way he wants at least. Not when he’s positive Hoseok can’t possibly reciprocate his feelings.
But he doesn’t dwell on that heartbreak. Instead he merely hums and pulls Hoseok closer with a leg hitched over the other. Tomorrow when he’s thinking more clearly he’ll try to get over this silly crush. But right now, exhausted from his panic attack and the tears he shed, his body feels heavy, his eyelids are drifting closed and his mind is just free enough to wander into thoughts of a perfect world where he can bask in the joy of being this close to the boy he loves.
He’s drifting in and out of consciousness when he feels fingertips trailing a path down his arm and up again. Another hand is at his hip, his shirt raised slightly as a thumb brushes against the skin there. It’s comfortable and soothing and he’s just about to lose himself to the depths of his subconscious when-
“I like you so much Yoongi-hyung.”
It’s barely a whisper and Yoongi’s sleep addled mind can’t focus on the words.
“Fuck I think I might even be in love with you.”
“I love you too, Seokseok,” its muffled and barely audible but he knows the other heard him when he feels him stiffen underneath him. Hoseok starts stuttering, hands leaving Yoongi’s body, trying to come up with excuses.
“Hush. Sleep now. Talk later.” Yoongi grabs Hoseok’s hand bringing it up to his mouth and manages a soft press of his lips against fingers before his grip goes slack and a warm breath of air against his hand tells Hoseok the older man is fast asleep again.
It seems like hours later when Yoongi wakes up, but judging by the yellow afternoon light still filtering through the window it must have only been a short nap. Somehow he maneuvered to his side, and a pair of strong arms around his middle have him rooted to the spot. He wiggles around to find his legs tangled with another's and the arms only pull him in closer, a pair of lips at the nape of his neck. He extricates himself from the tight grip and turns around to face the younger boy.
Hoseok’s eyes flutter open, and there’s a shy smile showing off his little dimples as he gazes into Yoongi’s own brown eyes. Yoongi’s heart stutters as he notes the glimmer of hope in his eyes but also the hesitancy, almost as if Hoseok is afraid that what they’d said earlier was all a dream or as if Yoongi would take it back now that he’s more awake. Yoongi just scoots closer even though there wasn’t much space between them to begin with anyway. Their breaths intermingle as they can only look at each other, neither wanting to shatter this delicate moment between them.
Yoongi’s gaze travels down to Hoseok’s lips, that mole on the upper lip now more enticing than ever, particularly as a pink tongue darts out to trace the heart-shape. Yoongi edges closer, lips just barely brushing over Hoseok’s, giving the other the choice to either continue or pull away. Hoseok however doesn’t hesitate, immediately surging forward capturing Yoongi’s lips between his own.
And it’s really just a kiss. It’s not particularly wet and sloppy or fierce and passionate. It’s a normal simple kiss. Just a press of lips. There’s no tongue involved, no moaning, no asking for entrance or fight for dominance. It’s perfectly average but Yoongi swears that as soon as he felt Hoseok on him, time stopped, sparks flew, fireworks erupted outside, a choir of angels sang.
The short kiss is interrupted when Hoseok can’t contain his grin of happiness. He’s smiling real wide so that his eyes are only small crescent shapes and the apples of his cheeks are more pronounced and Yoongi can’t help it when he leans forward and presses kisses all over the other’s face. It just makes Hoseok laugh and Yoongi thinks, no he knows he’s in love with that sound.
It’s later after they’ve broken the news to the others (no one was surprised) that they’re cuddling in Hoseok’s bed. Seokjin would rather eat his own foot than sleep somewhere that wasn’t his own room but thankfully Jimin had declared he would stay with Taehyung, claiming it was the only way to get him to stop playing video games all night. Yoongi is tucked into Hoseok’s side, the warmth of the body beside him and the smell of him lulling him to sleep.
“We’ll be okay, right hyung?”
It’s the tone of worry that makes Yoongi lean up a bit to kiss Hoseok, “Of course, Seok-ah. Hyung will always take care of everything.”