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Of all the places to look for Cas, Dean should have known it would be in a church.
Him and Sam were in the middle of giving a witch they had been hunting for the last month, (who had been responsible for mamy a case where a driver would survive a horrible car crash, then die form a small fender bender on the way back from a hospital, which, according to Dean, was irony at it’s finest.) the usual treatment, which of course, was killing her. They had just finished up, and were about to head out when Sam started asking the real questions.
"Where’s Cas?"
"Isn’t he righ-" Dean turned around and saw the spot he believed for Cas to be was empty. "Dammit," he swore under his breath. "Now we have to go find him."
"He can just teleport back, Dean."
"Yeah, well, I’m gonna go find him. See you."
Sam attempted to protest, but Dean was already gone. Rolling his eyes, he got in the Impala and drove off.
Dean walked around the town for a unmeasurable amount of time, although it was long enough for Dean to wish that he had enough sense to had taken Baby with him, because all this walking was turning into some bullshit.
He passed a shoe store, a farmer’s market (he made a mental note to tell Sammy about that one) and a bookstore, until he found himself stopped in front of a building that was so obvious; he wondered why he didn’t think about it before. Of course Cas would be in a church. Of course he would.
He climbed up the three steps that lead to the main entrance, and let himself in. He found himself in a short, dark, entryway with a door at the end that had a sign on it that marked that it was the door leading to the main sanctuary. Dean heaved open the woden door, which was a lot heavier than he’d expected) and walked in. It didn’t take him long to spot Cas: huddled in the corner of the pew in the front row. He walked over and slid in next to him, and they sat in silence for a few moments, before Cas broke it.
"Hello, Dean."
"Hey, Cas."
"Somehow I knew you would find me here."
"Well, didn’t take a genius. You’re an angel. This is a church. Right up your alley. But, I gotta ask - why’d you leave?"
:”I saw the sun.”
This response took Dean off guard.
"…What?"
Cas repeated himself.
"I saw the sun. It’s shining, you know, today. And," Cas paused to inhale deeply. "It reflected off the small lake that was nearby when you and Sam were killing the witch, and I was…reminded."
Dean stared at the angel beside him for a long moment, and somehow he knew what Cas was going to reply when he asked, “Of what?”
"Heaven, and how…how it used to be. Before I came, and destroyed it all."
"Cas, you didn-"
Cas inhaled deeply again. “Yes, Dean, I did, I know how you always see the good in me, as I you, but this is one thing that I’ve done that I simply can’t overlook. I vaporized thousands of my own brothers and sisters, just because of an idea that had gotten in my head. I rebelled against everything that I had ever knew, for free will. It’s something you taught me, Dean,” he says, giving the hunter a slight smile. “And all of my siblings…they told me angels weren’t meant to lead, that we were built for the sole purpose of obeying, to be soldiers of God. And I was content to serve my Father; he had done nothing but give love to me, and I was to do the same unto him. But…then he disappeared, and as you know, Heaven went into chaos. And I can’t help but wonder…why exactly He did that.”
"What do you mean, Cas?" Dean asked quietly.
"Somewhere inside me, I know….I know my Father never intended for the world to be like this," Cas whispered. "I know that my Father intended happiness, liberty, and love, for all of us. I know he wanted the world pure, but not perfect. But sometimes…I doubted this knowledge, the knowledge that I used to firm my beliefs, when my own in my Father were shaking. I wonder if that ‘knowledge’ I knew was really just my own feeble hopes, and that…maybe my Father intended for death, and destruction, to prowl the world like it does. Maybe he wanted the famine, and war, and the demons to appear around every corner. Maybe…he wanted Heaven like it is now..and he created me in the hopes I would the accelerant to the fire he had started, by leaving. I wonder if…I was meant to be the downfall of Heaven all along."
Dean didn’t have words. He didn;t have the slightest clue on how to reply, but his mouth opened anyway. “Cas..you know I’m not big on God, or faith, or anything like that. I believe in the things I see, and in everything around. But. I don’t think your dad intended for you to be the downfall, as you put it. You’re not a monster, Cas, if that’s what you’re thinking. You’re the farthest from it.”
Cas looked up.
"Thank you, Dean."
Cas stands up, and Dean did as well.
"If you don’t mind…I think I’ll take some leave from the next few days, but I promise, I wil return."
"Yeah, yeah, Cas, take your time."
"I just believe that…I need some time alone to reflect."
"Sure, sure."
Cas put a hand on Dean’s shoulder.
"Thank you, my friend. For finding me."
"Yeah, Cas. You’re family, y’know. Even if you lost yours in Heaven, you got one with me and Sam."
A whooshing sound, similar to flapping wings, told Dean that he was talking to empty air. Cas had gone, and Dean was left standing in the dark of an unfamiliar church, alone.