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“It’s me, I’m back.”
The response is prompt, Jacoren has people waiting for him. “Devon?”
“Yeah, open up.”
This time, the response is delayed. “Just a moment.”
‘It’s already been a lot of moments,’ he almost says but holds back. He’s on edge because the conversation he’s about to have. With his mind made up, he left Killian in Junktown promising to be back. His power armor is there, he saw no point in dragging it to the vault. The people inside leave him waiting and he has to wonder what the fuck is going on. He leans against the wall and waits. Part of him worries something is wrong. Have the mutants somehow infiltrated the vault? Is this a chapter of the Children of the Cathedral? Why aren’t they opening the door? His imagination has time to run wild before it finally opens. He’s ready to pull his shotgun out just in case but the only thing to greet him is the overseer. Devon still has no clue what’s going on. Why is he here and not in his office?
“What a relief it is to see you safe,” Jacoren states.
“Came close a few times but I suppose I’m sort of lucky.” Before he can ask why they’re still standing in this cave, Jacoren wants to know what happened. Maybe he’s just eager to know the threat is gone. Vault 13 is hidden in these mountains but the super mutants would’ve found it eventually.
He tells him about the military base, how he snuck in and blew it up without shooting a single bullet. Next comes the cathedral, how he very nearly died a gruesome death at the nightkin’s hands. However tough regular super mutants are, the nightkin are tougher. The invisibility doesn’t help matters either. Luckily he was able to loot Morpheus’ corpse for the black key and outrun the rest of the nightkin.
“I rested in the Boneyard for a couple days then made my way here.”
“You’ve done so much, not just for the vault but for the entire wasteland. I’m so proud of you and that...makes what I’m about to say that much harder.”
Devon’s eyes narrow. “What do you mean?”
“This is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. But I can’t have people asking more questions, I can’t have them wanting to leave, starting riots when I won’t let them. We need to maintain a certain population to thrive. I will always be grateful to you, but I can’t let you back in this vault.”
“What?!” he shouts, immediately outraged. It doesn’t matter that Devon wanted to leave anyways. “After everything I’ve done for this vault, you’re kicking me out? What the fuck’s the matter with you?”
“I’m sorry, this isn’t easy-”
“Easy! You wanna know what isn’t easy? Getting tossed out into the wasteland, running through a base full of creatures that can tear me apart like a tissue, fighting mutants armed with flamethrowers, clearing out deathclaw nests. Do you even know what a deathclaw is? What are you going to tell everyone? That I died? You’re gonna make them grieve me needlessly?”
“You don’t need the vault, you’re resilient-”
“Stop! I came here to tell you the threat was gone and that I was leaving. I don’t want to stay here.”
“You want to leave? Then why-”
“Because it should’ve been my choice!” he interrupts for the third time. “And you took that away from me! No matter what I was going to say, you’re still kicking me out of my home. You’re still an asshole.” His eyes burn, he’s crying. He’s so angry and hurt. How can Jacoren be so okay with what he’s doing? “Are you even going to let me say goodbye to everyone?”
“I’m sorry. But I have to do what’s best for the entire vault. Goodbye, Devon.”
Devon doesn’t say anything in response. Jacoren waits a moment, then sighs and turns around. He glares at his retreating form. His heart hurts as the vault door closes without him inside. He falls back against the rough cave wall, just staring at the entrance.
Jacoren has always been a fair overseer, but this...this is cruel. Tossing him out into the wasteland not once, but twice. Sure, he has a lot more experience this time around but it doesn’t feel any less heartless. This isn’t how he wanted things to go. He wanted to say goodbye, assure people he’d be okay, tell them about all his adventures and about Killian. Devon has somewhere to go but what if he didn’t? What if he didn’t have a large bag of caps in his pack? Jacoren didn’t even ask if he had somewhere to go.
He walks over to the door and puts a hand on it. This is the closest he’ll ever be to his family and friends again. “Fuck you, Jacoren!” he suddenly screams. He falls to his knees. How is this best for the vault? His forehead rests against the cold metal. He should get up. He should get up and leave this fucking cave and return to Killian. Return to the man who actually wants him.
But he doesn’t get up. He puts his pack down and unrolls his sleeping bag. He doesn’t have the energy to travel through mountains and desert right now. It’ll be dark soon anyways. As he lies down in this dark cave, he distantly hopes Jacoren will come back and say he was wrong and that Devon can come say goodbye. That asshole could have at least given him some food and water.
His eyes close, he hears skittering and wonders if he should kill the new batch of rats that have manifested. But he’s very unenergetic. They won’t bother him. Probably. He waits quietly but the door doesn’t open, no one comes for him. He falls asleep completely alone.
He’s groggy the next time he’s awake. He feels something move and his first thought is that it’s a hand waking him up. But then he looks down and sees a rat staring back at him. He flinches and shouts, “Get off!” and that’s enough to send it scurrying. He sighs and checks the time. 6:13am. Nobody has come for him. Nobody is going to. It’s time for Devon to pack up and go to his new home.
He looks at the door one last time, then shoulders his pack and leaves. He thinks about the first time he came through this cave. The rats stay away from him now, as if they know he’s armed with much more than a dull knife and a pistol.
His eyes squint when he reaches the exit. It takes a few moments for them to adjust. Junktown is directly south. But it’s been some time since he visited Shady Sands. Maybe they need more help--he already fixed their radscorpion problem and rescued Tandi. Maybe he’ll simply be able to visit without risking his life.
The cave, approaching Shady Sands, it’s easy to compare to his very first journey. At least this time he won’t have to crawl through Vault 15. Seth is at the gate and he’s waving, he must recognize Devon. The townspeople welcome him, he’s certainly proven himself since the first time he came.
He heads for the inn and buys a room for one night. Aradesh is around and he talks to him. But Devon sits in the bar alone when he hears his name. It’s a voice he recognizes--Tandi.
“Hey, Vault Dweller!” she greets. “What brings you back here?”
“Did your dad tell you the super mutant threat is gone?”
“Yeah! Wild Stuff. I thought you would’ve gone back to the vault. Is that where you’re headed?”
“I already tried. The overseer wouldn’t let me back in.”
“What?!” she exclaims as he sips his beer. He seems calm on the outside but rage lurks just beneath the surface. “Why the fuck would he do that?”
“Says I’ll inspire people to leave.”
“That seems like a real flimsy excuse. You’re a hero, to treat you like trash...”
He wants to throw his beer in Jacoren’s face.
“Do you have anywhere to go? I’m sure my dad could work something out so you could stay at the inn for free for a bit.”
“Thanks, but I do have a place. The thing is, I traveled back to the vault to tell them of my success but also to tell them goodbye. I didn’t want to return to vault life, not after everything I’ve seen out here. But Jacoren didn’t even let me talk to anyone else, didn’t ask if I had somewhere to go, didn’t offer supplies.”
“He’s an asshole.”
“Yeah.”
“Where are you going then?”
“Junktown. The mayor, he and I...” Even though they’ve kissed, had sex, and are about to live together, what if Killian still doesn’t consider them a couple? “We’re boyfriends. I’ll be living with him.”
“I’m glad you have someone. And you’re a friend to Shady Sands, if you two need a change of scenery, you’re welcome here.”
“I appreciate it. He’s not expecting me back for a while still. I was planning to stay in the vault for a week or so.”
He and Tandi talk for a long time over drinks. She’s a good kid, kind and charismatic. He takes a walk around town later on, sells some spare ammo off to Seth. He left his sniper rifle with Killian but has his shotgun and a very sharp knife. Most of his stuff is locked in his room, but his weapons are strapped to him just in case raiders attack.
But nothing happens, the air is calm. Falling asleep that night is difficult but once he does, he’s out.
He has one more conversation with Tandi before he leaves in the morning. She offhandedly says he should write about his adventures. “I bet you could fill ten books!”
Writing any of this down has never occurred to him. But as he takes the road south, the idea does grab hold of his mind and doesn’t want to let go. Living through it was terrifying but a reader might simply find it entertaining. Is he okay with that? Would he be alright with people finding entertainment in what’s caused him pain, anxiety, and nightmares?
But that’s assuming anyone besides Killian, and maybe Tandi, would read it. He’ll think about it when he returns to Junktown, to his new home.
His heart still burns thinking about Jacoren, but he has no choice except to pick himself up and be grateful he has somewhere to go with someone he cares about.
When he’s close to Junktown, he decides to push through the dark even though no one’s allowed in at night. But he’ll sleep right outside the entrance. If something approaches, the guard will at least give him a warning.
He’s weary as he sees the familiar walls. Almost there. His gun’s put away so the guard doesn’t mistake him for a threat. The person there isn’t anyone he recognizes.
“I know the rules,” he says when he’s close enough.
“What’s your name?” the woman asks.
“Devon Lo.”
“Where do you hail from?”
“Vault 13.”
She nods at the entrance. “Mayor said you’re allowed in at night.”
“Oh, thank fuck,” he groans. No sleeping bag, he gets a real bed tonight. No loneliness, he gets Killian tonight. Even though he’s back early, this particular trip feels long and dragged out. Even though he wanted to leave the vault, the lack of closure is unfair. Right now all he wants is to lie down, tell Killian about it, and cry.
Tonight he just wants to be angry and upset. Tomorrow is a new day, tomorrow he’ll try to accept what happened at Vault 13.