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One by One.
One knee after the other, he wanted… Dean wanted to do something… anything.
After all these years, it was over, he’d lost him.
They went through so much. He wanted to scream, cry, and shake him awake.
“Cas...”
HOLD ON I STILL WANT YOU
Dean regretted, because he didn’t had the chance to say anything. After all this time, even after that day, that other day when he thought it was the end. Laying in that barn. Cas told him. Those three words: “I love you” and then he looked away.
At that moment he had a hard time believing it. Dean couldn’t believe it so he decided to continue his favorite game, denial… It works better than you might think, it’s easy for Dean, every day he put that mask, that mask of indifference. And despite the shock, Cas got up. It was even easier after that.
But no, not now, this time it was real. He wouldn’t come back.
COME BACK, I STILL NEED YOU
He needs him. Dean needs Cas. That’s the only thing he’s ever managed to tell him.
“I need you Cas, come back…”
Tears in his eyes, he didn’t want to be sure, but he had to.
LET ME TAKE YOUR HAND, I’LL MAKE IT RIGHT
He was so close to him and so far away at the same time. He took with both hands, the cold and inert one of Castiel. This time he did not hold them back. The tears fell without his call. His vision was foggy, but this is when he saw them. The ashes, the print of his wings around him. It hurts, extremely bad.
I SWEAR TO LOVE YOU ALL MY LIFE
“Cas, I’m begging you, I can’t, I can’t without you…” sobbing.
“I need you Cas, COME BACK! CAS!” the echo of his cry resound in the empty space around him.
He couldn’t hear anything, the only thing he was seeing was his face, close. Sam was gone right before he collapsed.
“Cas, listen to me, please listen to me… I love you Cas! I need you to hear me, please Cas…
I love you…”
HOLD ON, I STILL NEED YOU
Cas was now in Dean’s arm who was still crying. He didn’t give a damn about the sight he was rendering. Nothing mattered now. He was aware that it wasn’t over, that the problems will accumulate. But he couldn’t, not now.
I DON’T WANNA LET GO
Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t.
I KNOW I’M NOT THAT STRONG
He probably never was.
“I know that you wouldn’t want me to be like that, but I can’t take it anymore, it’s too much…”
I JUST WANNA HEAR YOU
SAYING BABY, LET’S GO HOME
“Cas”
LET’S GO HOME
“Come back to me…”
YEAH, I JUST WANNA TAKE YOU HOME
One last ounce of strength made him raise his head. He had to, just one last time, because without him it wouldn’t mean anything. He looked up at the sky. The nothingness before him. One last prayer.
HOLD ON, I STILL WANT YOU
He’ll do everything, everything to have him back.
COME BACK, I STILL NEED YOU
Everything.