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Wednesday morning, Maura arrives in the morgue to find all of the techs and her AME huddled around one of the exam tables.
“I didn’t get a page,” she says, and they all whirl to face her, guilty.
“There’s no body,” Susie says. Her cheeks are pink with embarrassment. She and a couple of the techs step aside to reveal a row of vases, each holding several roses. None of the vases hold the same amount of flowers. And none of the colors are the same.
“What on earth?” Maura takes a step forward. “Where did these come from?”
“They were just delivered about five minutes ago,” Susie says. She’s trying to hide a smile. “The guys who delivered them said we had to make sure you went from left to right.”
Some of the techs are still lingering, and Maura hears one sigh wistfully, “Josh never does anything for me anymore.”
“They each have a card,” Susie says, lowering her voice as Maura walks closer. “Maybe you should fight with Detective Rizzoli more often?”
Maura turns to her, scandalized, before realizing that she’s joking.
“We’re not fighting any longer,” she says. “We’re...taking some time to figure out what the future holds.”
She doesn’t know when her Assistant Medical Director also became the person in whom she confides, but she has to admit that it feels comfortable to do so.
“Are these all from her?”
“We didn’t read the cards, doctor,” Susie says reproachfully. “We only nose into your business so far as we can see it without touching.”
Maura laughs, and Susie looks proud that she has made a joke that Maura understands. She makes a shooing motion at the techs.
“We’ll give you some privacy.”
…
Maura misses Jane.
They have not seen each other in almost a week, and the doctor was not aware how completely the other woman had become a part of her routine.
She misses Jane at the dinner table, listening to Mae’s story of the day.
She misses the sound of her daughter and girlfriend when she comes in from a late night in the morgue, and dozing with her head on Jane’s shoulder in front of the TV after they’ve put Mae to bed.
She misses the texts Jane would send her throughout the day; little unimportant things that let her know Jane was thinking of her.
But they’d agreed not to talk until Maura had better understanding of her feelings, and while Jane has talked to Mae on the phone a couple of times, Maura has so far resisted the urge to grab the phone away just so she can hear that voice.
The first set of roses is peach, and there are fifteen of them. Maura pulls the card out of the envelope with shaking hands.
Maura,
I want to tell you how truly, truly sorry I am for worrying you last week. It was thoughtless of me to let my phone die without updating you. I hope that you can forgive me & I hope that you know how much your security and happiness mean to me.
Jane
Peach roses: gratitude, appreciation, affection. Maura touches the petal of the longest one, biting her lip so her smile doesn’t get too wide.
Fifteen roses: I’m sorry.
Maura reaches for the next card in the next vase. Ten lovely pink roses.
……
…...
“Mae, I want to talk to you.”
Mae comes to sit next to Maura on the couch, her lower lip already trembling like she might cry.
“What is it, darling?” Maura asks, alarmed.
“I know what we’re going to talk about,” Mae answers miserably.
“You do?”
“Yes,” Mae sniffs. “You’re going to say that Jane isn’t coming over anymore.”
Maura puts her arms around her daughter, pulling her close. “Would that make you very sad?”
“Yes,” Mae says. “So sad. But I’ll try to do what Jane said to.”
Maura frowns, leaning back so she can look into Mae’s face. “What?”
Mae looks back at her. “Well, Jane and me talked about what if she wasn’t our girlfriend anymore.”
“Oh?”
Mae nods. “Yeah. She said that you and her were going to talk and make the decision together, and whatever happened, she’d still be my number one fan.”
Maura smiles. “That’s true.”
“And she said, that even if she wasn’t with us anymore, I could think of the really fun things, and be happy remembering them.”
It takes Maura a moment to speak around the lump in her throat. “Is that enough?” she asks, knowing she shouldn’t, but unable to help herself. “Do you think that just remembering those things is enough, Mae?”
Mae looks at her with wide eyes. “It has to be,” she says, like this is obvious. “‘Cause I’m not sorry it happened.”
Maura kisses Mae’s forehead, marveling. “Do you know,” she says after a moment, “That you are the smartest person I’ve ever met?”
Mae giggles. “That’s not true.”
“It is true,” Maura insists. “Do you remember how I always tell you that I’m your mommy, and it’s my job to take care of you?”
Mae nods, almost rolling her eyes. “Yes,” she says, sounding bored.
“Well, with Jane, I was trying to do that.” She looks at Mae to see if she understands. “I was trying to take care of you. Of us .”
Mae just blinks at her.
“You know what Jane’s job is, right?” Maura cuts Mae off before she can answer. “She’s a detective, right. And that means it’s her job to go after dangerous people.”
“I know,” Mae says. “TJ says he saw Jane’s gun and handcuffs one time. But Jane said they weren’t for playing with, and wouldn’t even let him touch.”
“Right,” Maura nods. “And when I didn’t know where you were the other night, I got scared thinking of all the bad things that could happen to you. And then, I got even more scared thinking of the things that could happen to Jane. Because you and I would miss her so much if she wasn’t here anymore. Do you understand?”
Mae thinks about this for a long time. She never says she understands something if that isn’t the case.
“You’re afraid of if she might die?” Mae asks finally.
The word makes Maura flinch. She doesn’t like hearing Mae say it, but she nods. “Yes,” she answers.
“That’s why you and her have to discuss everything?” Mae sounds like she’s just trying to straighten out the narrative.
“Yes,” Maura confirms. “I...I worry that if something bad happens, we might miss her too much.”
Mae thinks for a moment longer, and then sighs, leaning against Maura’s chest.
“But I miss her too much now, Mommy,” she says quietly. “Don’t you?”
…….
It is once again Detective Frost that Maura encounters in the bullpen first. He smiles at her as she approaches, standing to greet her.
“Hello, Doc,” he says cheerfully. “You’re over here so much that they might as well just change your assignment. Save on gas.”
Maura smiles. “Detective Frost. How are you?”
“Good,” he nods. “Jane’s just showering from her workout, she should be up any minute.”
Maura is about to say thank you, when two detectives cross behind Frost, and glance in her direction.
“You owe me 20,” the taller of the two says.
The other one snorts, reaching into his pocket. “How many roses mean ‘you’re an ass?’”
Maura just keeps her mouth from falling open. She looks at Frost, wide-eyed.
“She didn’t make it public,” he says quickly, as though Maura might be mad if this were the case. “She just threw her list out in the wrong trash can.”
Maura frowns. “Her list?”
“Yeah,” Frost sighs. “She wrote out the flowers she was going to buy you, and what they meant - planning, you know?”
Maura nods.
“And fucking Crowe, excuse my language, picked it up and spread it around the entire precinct.” Barry shakes his head angrily. “He loved doing it.”
“Why would anyone do such a thing?” Maura asks, genuinely perplexed. “And why is it such big news that it requires... gambling? ”
Frost looks at her with a combination of amusement and fondness. “It’s Jane,” he says finally. “I mean...she’s not usually one to go all... romantic .”
“Jane is very romantic,” Maura counters before thinking. Two officers standing nearby nearly double over.
Frost takes a step closer, lowering his voice. “Yeah, okay, she bought you nearly 100 roses, so I can see how you’d say that, Dr. Isles, but that’s not the Jane that we get around here, okay?”
Maura swallows, trying to catch up. “I don’t-” she starts, but Frost cuts her off.
“This precinct is a boys club. The detectives even more so. When she started, she was at a double disadvantage being young and female. I’m only three years with my shield and some of the guys treat me with more respect. She got the respect she has now by earning it. Do you understand?”
Maura has taught her daughter that one never says they understand when they don’t.
“No.”
Frost sighs, thinking. “Okay,” he says after a moment. “We have sparring matches in the ring downstairs. Everyone suits up, and it’s next guy has winner, you know?”
“Yes,” Maura nods.
“So, Jane’s a new detective, and she goes up against the reigning champ. He had to outweigh her by a good 100lbs.” Frost grins at Maura’s obvious apprehension. “She held her own for a while, but soon enough his sheer size was enough to knock her cold. But she kept going, taking a hell of a beating, and not tapping out.”
Maura cringes. She doesn’t like to think of it.
“Finally,” Frost continues, “she got in an uppercut. Knocked him clean out. And that was the end, just like that. To anyone who saw them the next day, she looked like the clear loser. But the guys all cleared a path for her. The rookie who brought everyone coffee didn’t ‘accidentally’ forget her.” Frost shrugs. “No one messed with her as bad from that day on.”
Maura is about to answer, when a voice from behind her makes her spin.
“You know,” Jane says easily. “You keep telling tales like that, you’re gonna get a nose like Pinocchio.”
Jane grins at Maura’s surprised face. She still a little flushed from her workout, her hair slicked back, and make-up minimally done, but Maura still gets weak-kneed seeing her there.
“You came,” Jane says, stepping a little closer. “That’s either really good, or really bad.”
“It’s good,” Maura manages. “When do you finish here?”
Behind Jane, the same detective from earlier snickers. “How many roses means pussy-whipped?” he asks his partner.
“Can it, Crowe!” Frost says from his desk. “Can’t you?”
Jane’s expression has darkened, but she doesn’t rise to the bait. She doesn’t even turn away from Maura. It is this fact that pushes Maura into action.
“Detective,” she says, stepping around Jane and walking up to Crowe. “Can I ask you something?”
The Detective’s grin widens. “You can do anything to me that you like, Dr. Isles,” he says smoothly.
Maura sees Jane take a step forward into her periphery.
“You don’t have the pain tolerance for what I’d like to do to you,” she says sweetly. “And judging by the way you trudge everywhere, you also lack many other...imperative skills that I require.”
Their corner of the precinct goes deadly silent. Jane’s mouth drops open.
Maura smiles her most radiant smile. “When you’ve decided that you’re tired of going home alone, or when erotica no longer suffices, make sure you ask Detective Rizzoli for the name of her florist.”
With that, she turns and walks over to Jane who appears to be rooted to the floor with shock.
“Can you leave now?” she asks.
“Uh…” Jane looks at her blankly.
“She can!” Frost says. “Go ahead, Jane. I’ll cover that report you had left.”
Jane shakes herself. “Yeah,” she says, a slow smile creeping over her face. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
They are almost to the door when an officer calls out to them.
“Dr. Isles, wait! Don’t you at least have some burn cream? You can’t leave Crowe in such a condition.”
Jane snorts, not turning, not even when the laughter starts to grow.
“I think he’s still smoking!” someone cries out.
“OhmyGod, did you hear her?” Another one. “She knows you ain’t got no game from your walk , man!”
Maura loops her arm through Jane’s.
It’s not until much later, after dinner and ice cream, and Mae’s stubborn refusal to sleep without Jane’s hand in hers, that the Detective looks at Maura and asks her what really changed her mind.
They are sitting on the couch, Mae in between them, her soft snores floating up from Jane’s lap, and Maura rubs her thumb over Jane’s knuckles on the back of the couch.
“I know that the roses were nice,” Jane says. “But they don’t solve the original issue. So what was it?”
Maura brings Jane’s hand to hers for a kiss. “It was Mae, actually,” she says. “She made me realize something.”
Jane lets the silence go on for as long as she can. “What was it?” she asks.
“I realized that losing you would be painful, and that I cannot begin to imagine how I would handle it, were something to happen to you. I realized that you are already so deeply ingrained in my body, that it’s too late to exorcise you now.”
Jane sighs. “I’m so-”
“No,” Maura cuts her off. “I realized that I’m so in love with you, Jane, that the only thing that could keep me from you is death. And if you’re here? If I can have you but I choose not to?” Maura shakes her head. “That’s just illogical thinking.”
Jane laughs softly, shifting a little so she can kiss Maura with Mae’s head still in her lap. “You’re definitely not an illogical woman, Dr. Isles,” she murmurs.
Maura hums softly into the kiss. It feels just right.
Between them, Mae stirs, opening one eye.
“Ew,” she mumbles, turning into the folds of Jane’s sweatshirt.
“Gross,” she murmurs. “Do it again.”