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Brother, Let Me Be Your Shelter

Summary:

Sirius has come to expect howlers, Regulus has not. Neither one of them necessarily know how to react to them.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 1. in which sirius enjoys gryffindor and pumpkin juice 

Sirius had his new red and gold tie knotted around his head, grinning into a goblet of pumpkin juice. He had only been at Hogwarts for two days, but it felt more like home than 12 Grimmauld Place ever had in all his eleven years. James was stuffing his face with waffles and sausages, excitedly telling Peter about his plans for their newest scheme. Remus was pretending to chide James’ enthusiasm over enchanting all the Slytherin’s belongings to be the Gryffindor colors, but the devious smile creeping into his scarred face proved that he secretly loved the idea. Sirius had gotten surprisingly lucky. James, Peter, and Remus were most likely the coolest people Sirius had ever known, besides him of course. And Regulus. Sirius supposed Regulus was pretty cool too, though he would never admit that out loud.

“Mail’s coming!” he heard Marlene McKinnon say from across the table. Sirius looked up to see dozens of owls flying into the Great Hall, dropping parcels and letters into the laps of happily awaiting students. A small lumpy package wrapped in bright gold paper plopped itself in front of James.

“Why thank you, Hera,” he smiled, ripping open the paper savagely. Sirius watched as James placed a box of Bertie Botts and a large cube of chocolate fudge in clear wrappings onto the table. Remus perked up when James mentioned sharing his treats, staring at the fudge with intense interest, barely noticing when a crisply wrapped parcel that looked suspiciously like a collection of books was dropped next to him.

Sirius’s smile fell when his saw Caelum clutching a small red envelope in his beak. He plucked it from the mouth of his mother’s owl, pointedly choosing to ignore the annoyed chirp that came from him. He stared at the red envelope, eyes tracing the loopy green letters that spelled out: Sirius Orion Black.

James looked at Sirius with wide curious eyes. “Is that-”

“Yeah…” Blood was ringing in Sirius’ ears. He had been waiting for this to come, it had been inevitable.

“You don’t have to open it right now,” James whispered. Sirius felt the gaze of hundreds of pairs of eyes burning into him. Even the teachers were watching him with grim worry. He took a deep breath, pulling at the lip of the envelope until he broke the Black family’s signature seal.

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK,” his mother’s shrill voice rang throughout the otherwise silent Great Hall. “I THOUGHT I MADE MY INSTRUCTIONS VERY CLEAR. IT IS YOUR JOB TO CARRY ON THE BLACK LEGACY, AND I WILL NOT HAVE TO TARNISHING OUR FAMILY’S NAME BY JOINING A DIFFERENT HOUSE. HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF LOYALTY, YOU FOOLISH BOY? DO YOU BELIEVE YOURSELF TO BE FUNNY? I EXPECT YOU TO-”

Sirius didn’t know what it was his mother expected him to do. He shoved the howler into his goblet, Walburga’s voice becoming little more than a muffled gurgle. He couldn’t stifle the giggle that escaped him as the drowning howler’s screams created bubbles in the pumpkin juice. Peter and Remus looked at him in slight shock. James was clapping him on the back.

“Well then,” Sirius rubbed his hands together as the muffled screams of the howler began to die down. “Pete, my man, can you pass me the syrup?"

 

2. in which sirius jumps to conclusions

 Sirius watched Regulus with curiosity. They had barely spoken two words to each other since term started. Regulus had taken to his friend group, Sirius had stuck to his own. It sort of bothered him. Regulus had at least remained cordial during his first and second year, but ever since his third year had started, it had been like someone had shove a wand up his ass.

He had other things to worry about besides his hormonal brother. “Have either of you gone to see Remus yet?”

Peter shook his head. “We were planning on going after Muggle Studies. If we eat fast we can slip in before Transfiguration though.”

“Remind me again why we decided to take Muggle Studies?” James groaned, running a hand through unruly dark hair.

“Because you wanted to impress Lily,” Peter deadpanned.

“Oh yeah.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, looking up to the ceiling as the first owls began their decent. He held out his hand expectantly, waiting for Caelum to drop the familiar red envelope into his hands.

“What’ll it be about this week, gentlemen?” Sirius asked. “Place your bets now.”

Howlers had become a weekly occurrence for Sirius. He knew what to expect at this point, it was more of a nuisance than anything else.

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK!” James and Peter chorused alongside his mother. “DO YOU MAKE IT YOUR MISSION TO ANGER ME?”

Yes , Sirius thought.

“I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS ANY LONGER. YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO GROW UP. THE HEIR TO THE BLACK FAMILY SHOULD NOT BE BREAKING INTO OTHER COMMON ROOMS, SHOULD NOT BE PLAYING CHILDISH PRANKS ON FAMILY MEMBERS, AND MOST DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT BE FRATERNISING WITH HALF BLOODS. A POTTER IS BAD ENOUGH, A PETTIGREW AT THE VERY WORST, BUT A LUPIN? HONESTLY, SIRIUS. WE HAVE RAISED YOU TO BE BETTER THAN THIS. YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO REGULUS. AT LEAST HE HAS THE DECENCY TO CHOOSE TO ALIGN HIMSELF WITH RESPECTABLE WIZARDS. IF I HEAR THAT YOU-”

In a fluid motion, Sirius shoved the howler into his mouth, chewing the shrieking paper into a semi disintegrated wad, keeping the fury from building up inside of him. Walburga was allowed to hurt him, it didn’t affect him anymore, but she was not allowed to bring his friends into it. That was too far.

Regulus’ normally pale face was flushed Gryffindor scarlet. He looked as if he wanted to shrink into the smallest ball. Sirius wished his would. This was his fault. He was the one who told Walburga. He had to have been.

Sirius stood quicked, walking towards the Slytherin table with Peter and James in tow. He stared down at Regulus. The younger Black’s eyes were full of… was it fear? Regret?

“Sirius, I didn’t-”

Sirius spat the howler into Regulus’ lap. Narcissa shrieked in disgust. Severus had his wand out. Regulus sat as still as a statue.

“C’mon mates,” Sirius said, shooting daggers into his younger brother. “Let’s go visit Remus. I know he’s unworthy , but whatever.”

The ¾ of the Marauders left the Great Hall quickly. Sirius didn’t look back at Regulus. He didn’t look back to see Regulus’ barriers break down in front of everyone. He didn’t look back to see his younger brother starting to cry.

  

3. in which sirius is frightened and a little bit gay

 Sirius missed the Potter’s estate. It was warm and inviting, and always smelled like gingerbread. Mr. and Mrs. Potter treated him like their own, buying him Christmas presents and filling him with so much food he thought he might burst.

He was happy to be back at school though. He had spent almost all of holiday with James, but had only gotten to spend a day with Peter and Remus, and most of it had been spent with the four of them crying in a group hug in the Potter’s guest room. It hadn’t been the worst, Sirius supposed. At least he had gotten a kiss out of it.

He had been waiting for the howler since he had ran away. Sirius was surprised that he hadn’t gotten on over the holiday, though he suspected he might have and Mrs. Potter just hadn’t given them to him. That was fine.

Sirius didn’t have the Potter’s protection anymore. He accepted that when Caelum dropped the howler directly on his head.

“I fucking hate that bird,” he muttered.

Remus interlaced his hand into Sirius’ own. “You don’t have to open it.”

“Sure I do,” Sirius tried to keep his voice level. Remus squeezed his hand, letting go quickly so Sirius could open the howler.

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK,” Sirius couldn’t help flinching at his mother’s tone. The last time he heard her voice, he had been on the receiving end of a particularly nasty cruciatus curse. “RUNNING AWAY TO THE POTTERS OF ALL PEOPLE? IT TRULY ASTOUNDS ME HOW EVERYTIME I SEE YOU, YOU TURN INTO MORE OF A DISAPPOINTMENT. I EXPECT YOU TO COME HOME WITH US AT THE END OF TERM, OR THE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE SEVERE. AND IF I EVER HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT THAT LUPIN BOY YOU CLAIM TO LOVE, THEN I SWEAR TO MERLIN THAT-”

“I’ll take that,” James plucked the howler from Sirius’ shaking hands, crumpled it into a ball, and tossed it into his own mouth, chewing it thoughtfully. “As yes, you can really taste the homophobic bitch. Delicious.”

“You okay?” Remus murmured. Sirius shrugged.

Remus turned Sirius’ torso so he was facing him, staring deeply into Sirius’ eyes. “Fuck her,” he whispered, then kissed him, not noticing the other students watching in surprise. Vaguely, Sirius heard Marlene McKinnon whisper “I win,” and Dorcas groan, but he didn’t care. They only broke apart when James spat the howler into an empty goblet, holding it out to Peter. “Five galleons if you can swallow it.”

Sirius couldn’t help but laugh.

 

4. in which sirius has had enough

 This was it. There was only three months left in his seventh year, then he was gone. Three months and then he was off to the real world. Sirius wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He didn’t like the idea of being as adult, not when a war was brewing. The idea of staying a child for just a little while longer was strangely appealing. He wanted to stay in his house with James and play quidditch and drink firewhiskey and read books with Remus. He wanted to be normal.

Sirius hadn’t expected to see Caelum fly into the Great Hall. He hadn’t gotten anything from his mother since he had officially moved in with the Potters, though maybe one more howler about how much of disgrace he was wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. The all-too-familiar red envelope sat in Caelum’s beak, and while Sirius wondered what it was he had done without his mother possibly knowing, he still held out his hand in anticipation.

His jaw dropped when Caelum dropped the howler in front of Regulus.

The Great Hall went dead silent. Regulus Black didn’t get howlers, that was his brother’s job. Regulus gingerly picked up the howler as if it was going to burn him. He looked surprisingly small to Sirius, thinner than normal, which was slightly worrisome as Regulus had always been on the skinnier side.

Severus nudged Regulus’ shoulder as if to say open it, I dare you. Sirius watched in nervous interest as Regulus slowly opened the red envelope.

“REGULUS ARCTURUS BLACK,” the students were not used to hearing that name screeching throughout the room. “YOU ARE THE HEIR TO THE MOST NOBLE AND ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK, AND WE HAVE TOLD YOU MANY TIMES WHAT THIS MEANS. YOU DO NOT FAMILIARISE YOURSELF BLOOD TRAITORS, I HAVE MADE THAT QUITE CLEAR. THE LETTERS THAT WERE ON YOUR DESK ARE UNACCEPTABLE. YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT TO TALK TO SIRIUS-”

There it was. Even when the howler wasn’t addressed to him, it was still about him. He stood up, climbing over the Gryffindor table as he crossed to his brother.

Up close, Regulus looked so small. The stoicism that was instilled in him was quickly dissipating. Sirius could tell he was struggling to keep his composure. He was looking less like the heir to the most noble and ancient house of Black, and more like the frightened sixteen year old boy he truly was.

Sirius pulled out his wand, pointing it directly at the howler. “Incendio.”

The red letter went up in flames, its ashes settling in Severus’ plate of eggs. Sirius would be lying if said he hadn’t done that on purpose. Regulus let the smallest glimpse of a smile escape, mouthing a thank you.

Sirius stuck his hand out, looking at his brother expectantly. Regulus stared at his outstretched hand for a second, before taking it with a firm shake.

A silent agreement passed between the two Black brothers. They were on opposite sides, they always had been. But when it came down to it, they had been there for each other when needed. They both knew that a war was coming, and they were not going to be on the same side when it finally hit. But they would be there for each other. The Black brothers had survived Walburga’s howlers. They could survive a war.

If only it were that easy.

Notes:

I thought I'd take a stab at writing a new fanfic, saying as I haven't publicly written anything in like 4 years (and never on this site, yay new adventures!) Hope that it wasn't too bad. :)