Work Text:
Now being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
But i don't want to
Living without you
Is all a big mistake
Instead of getting easier
It's the hardest thing to take
I'm addicted to ya babe
You're a hard habit to break
Daniel put his key in the lock and turned the knob. The sky had just begun to take on its lighter shades of pale and he prayed he could make it into the house and into bed before his mother got up for work. The door hinges squeaked, the floorboards creaked. He tiptoed and swore in the dark when his toe came in contact with a dining room chair.
An end table lamp clicked on casting a bright yellow light in a circle around the figure of his mother sitting upright in her armchair. The light cast angry shadows over her face and she looked at him. Her arms folded tightly across her chest.
‘Damn…’
“Oh…hey Ma…I just went out to get the paper…why are you up so early?”
“Don’t you 'hey Ma’ me…and don’t you dare even think about continuing on with that lie.”
He tried to edge around the room to go to the kitchen and get a glass of orange juice.
“You get back here right now, MISTER!” She stood up, her arms still folded.
He knew better than to back-talk her and he turned to face her. He couldn’t look her in the eye.
“What the hell were you thinking?” She came over to him and gave him a motherly smack upside the head.
“Ouch..Ma…come on!”
“Come on, nothing…Daniel Antonio LaRusso…I waited for you the entire night…sitting right in that chair. I haven’t slept. Where have you been?”
Daniel folded his arms and looked at the floor.
“Mom…I’m sixteen years old.”
Lucille’s mouth fell open. She couldn’t believe the words that had just come out of his mouth. She was having a real struggle believing that this person that stood in front of her now was even her son.
“OH..Oh…so you’re sixteen years old. I don’t care if you’re eighty years old. You are in MY house under MY roof and you will follow MY rules. You don’t come waltzing in here at all hours of the morning. Doing who knows what…I don’t want to know…and then come in here with that nonsense about being sixteen.”
She continued on. “I mean…are there not enough girls in your school? Do you know what you did to that sweet girl? You destroyed her last night. You do realize that.”
“I’m sorry ma…what do you want me to say?”
“I want you to say you’re outta your head. You must be going through some sorta phase…or something!”
Daniel snorted a laugh but quickly caught it. He picked at a thread on his clothes. He stood there in the semi-dark waiting. It wouldn’t do him any good to try and talk to her until she calmed down. He stifled a yawn. He was pretty beat.
“Ma…it’s not as bad as you’re making it seem.”
She almost went over to the window to yell out of it to the neighborhood. She would have if she was back in New Jersey. Instead she paced the room, talking to herself.
“Get this…America…not as bad as I’m making it seem. This son…my son…was kissing another boy in the middle of a crowded room without a care in the world. Not a handshake…no…Not a high-five and a ‘well done…good game’…no….a full blown make out session in front of the judges, no less.”
Daniel was turning red. His ears burned with embarrassment. Lucille paced all over the room her arms flailing. She stopped in front of him and took both of his cheeks in her hands and shook him looking in his eyes. “What’s wrong with you?”
He put his hands on hers and brought them down. He looked at her with remorse. He should have told her a long time ago, what was happening with him. Her eyes were so pained and worried. Tears had begun to form. Lucille was a tough woman who didn’t cry often. She always tried to be positive, even in the worst of situations.
“Nothing is wrong with me, Ma…everything is finally right…I’ve never been happier. Mr. Miyagi has given me so many lessons about balance…I really never knew what it was until I achieved it with Johnny's help. He found his and I found mine.”
“Mr. Miyagi…balance…I don’t know what any of that means. All I know is that things really did start going downhill when we moved here. You were right about that one thing. We should have stayed in Jersey…you would have found a nice girl…settled down….had kids….oh damn…kids…now what am I supposed to do? There goes all hope of having grandchildren now!” Lucille began to wring her hands.
Daniel laughed then and put his hands on his mother’s shoulders. “Ma…you’re worrying yourself sick. Can we please talk about this later? I’m really tired. Are you going to be late for work? Maybe I can meet you at the restaurant later, or after school. I can talk to you more about things then. When you’re calmer.”
Lucille studied him. The sunlight had begun to creep in through the blinds, lighting his face. She bit her lip. She was distressed and unwilling to see reason…or let him off the hook that easily.
“School…Yeah…I’m pulling you out of that school as of today!”
Daniel began to protest. “What…ma!? What do you mean?”
“I’m pulling you out of that school and I’m enrolling you somewhere else. It’s going to be hard but you’ve left me no choice.”
“But Christmas break is in two weeks! I have midterms! I just can’t start a new school!!” Daniel threw every excuse at her he could. She couldn’t do this.
“…and you’re grounded….you’re punished….you’re…I don’t know what you are but you’re not leaving his house for a LONG time…maybe you need that Christmas break to sort some things out.”
“This is bullshit!” Daniel said finally giving in to his frustration.
“Hey…I don’t want to hear that talk in this house. Now you go to your room. I’m taking a personal day today. When you wake up, Monday morning…we are going to that school. I don’t know…the way I feel I might even sue them!”
“Sue them?? Come on!!”
She came over and stood in front of him. She enveloped him in a hug. Her eyes were open and she was distraught. “We’ll get through this…together. I love you, Daniel. I should have been there more for you. I’m so sorry.”
Daniel’s hands remained at his side. She didn’t get it. She blamed herself when she had done absolutely nothing wrong. He eased himself away from her arms and went to his room. He flopped on his bed and threw an arm over his eyes. His head was spinning. She was right about one thing. He wasn’t thinking. His head was now jumbled with so many thoughts he didn’t know what to pick out first. All he knew was he was exhausted. All he knew was that she had the power to make everything she said come true.
‘Johnny…’ he fell into a fitful sleep.
He awoke to the sound of a phone ringing. He squinted at his bedside clock. It was 11:30 in the morning. He was about to pick up his extension when the ringing abruptly cut off. His mother was in the other room. He caught the sound of her voice progressively rising in anger.
“Hello…”
“Yes…”
“Oh…I know who you are….”
“No…you may NOT speak to my son…and as a matter of fact, you need to lose this number!”
Daniel rested his head against the door frame. “No…”
“I don’t have a PROBLEM…I tell what I do have I have a SON…not a daughter…it would be wise of you to remember that before you think about seeing him again. If I ever…catch you around my son….” She didn’t finish her sentence. Daniel heard the sound of a phone slamming into its cradle.
Daniel went back to his bed and threw himself on it with a frustrated groan. He put his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.
A tap on his door came about an hour later. Lucille poked her head in. “How you doin, Champ?”
“How do you think I’m doing? I’m a prisoner in my own house.”
“Well I got a solution for that. You’re gonna put your application in at the restaurant. I’ll get you an interview with the manager…she giggled…I think I know her pretty well….you start work on Tuesday.”
Daniel’s head hung low. His situation just became bleaker.
“I’m going to go get some groceries for the week, do you want to come along?”
“No…I just want to lay here and rot.” Daniel rolled over and turned his back to his mom.
“Ok…Listen Daniel…I know it seems hard right now. But I am your mother…and I do care. I’ll be back in an hour. You stay put, kiddo!” She put a hand on his back and it was all he could do not to flinch away.
You found someone else you had every reason
You know i can't blame you for runnin' to him
Two people together but living alone
I was spreading my love too thin
About a half an hour later, Daniel decided it was safe enough to pick up the phone. He needed to talk to Johnny. He didn’t know what he would say other than they had a mess that needed to be sorted. He needed to hear his voice. He had a feeling he was not too happy about what happened earlier. He began to dial the number when a knock came at his apartment door.
Daniel moved through the apartment. He wondered if it was Mr. Miyagi stopping by to check on him. He really didn’t want to face anyone else today. He didn’t want to have to explain again what he should have told everyone a long time ago.
He swung the door open, expecting to see the little Asian man staring back at him with wise eyes. Instead he came face to face with sad blue eyes, hurt and accusation plainly written over pale features. Her arms folded across her chest. Her lips pouted and her eyes red-rimmed as if she had been crying all night long.
“Uh…Hey…Ali…”
“How could you….Daniel….how could you?!” She couldn’t hold herself back she pushed him hard. She shoved him further back into the apartment. He took her hits. And they came. She actually had a pretty good right, but he put his arms up to cover his face.
“Ali…please…it’s not easy on any of us.”
“With Johnny?? How the hell did this happen?? HOW??!!” She asked coming into the room. Daniel eased around her and closed the front door. This had turned out to be a horrible day…what next the mailman going to throw a package at his head?
“Look…I’m a real asshole, alright? I admit it.”
“You…you were with him….all the time…?” Her lips trembled. Her eyes had begun to water again. She didn’t know she had more tears left.
“Ali…I never meant for you to get hurt in all of this. I did…I mean I do like you….I just…I don’t know how to explain…” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
“Daniel…I stood up for you…I already told you that I didn’t go out with you not only because you were different….I thought you were special. I was falling in love with you.” She looked at him her body barely standing up. She just wanted to collapse and cry.
“Ali…”
“Did you ever…love me? In the six months we’ve been together…did you?”
Daniel looked at her, she no longer had the confidence she had possessed even the day before. She looked vulnerable, weak, lost. All he wanted to do was go to her and hug her hurt away. He hesitantly put his arms around her. She tensed for a few seconds. “Come on…” He whispered.
She melted into his embrace. She put her forehead in the crook of his neck and he put his hand on her head, patting her thick curls. He felt her tears, wet on his neck and he closed his eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
He held her for a long while, held her till her breathing calmed and she lifted her head to look at him. “I’m an idiot…I don’t even know why I’m here.”
“Don’t say that. None of this is your fault.”
“Please…can’t we just….start over…can’t we pretend? I really do like you, Daniel and I’m willing to forget all of it…but you have to promise me. You have to promise me it will be the last time.”
Daniel looked at her. He looked at normal. He looked at his future. He looked at what was expected of him. He took her hands. “I don’t know if I can…this isn’t fair to you.”
“I can manage that. Look…I know what he’s like. I’ve been with him for two years. You have to know something about him. He will never change who he is. You may think you know him. But he’s got issues you haven’t even begun to deal with. I don’t want you going down the same road I did.”
“I don’t think he’s as bad as you’re making him out to be…no one understands him.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Daniel. I do know him. And I want to know you. I don’t want to see you hurt. Like I have been…” A tear formed in her eye again. Daniel couldn’t stand to see her cry anymore.
“Ok…ok…Ali….I will…think about things….it’s all gone to shit about now anyway…I’m grounded and I probably won’t be able to see the light of day until 2018, but it will give me time to work through this stuff. I just want to say thank you.”
“What for?”
“For not killing me when I opened the door.”
“Well…I’m not taking that option off the table yet…” She went to hug Daniel again and he pulled her in and squeezed her tightly. He felt her trembling.
“Go home and get some rest. I’ll ask if I can call you later…I gotta clear everything with the warden now.”
Ali smiled a small smile and went to the door. “Daniel…it’s going to be ok…you’ll see. I promise you’ll be happy with me. I’m not going to give up so easily.” She winked at him and walked out of the apartment. Daniel sagged against the apartment door. He needed Mr. Miyagi’s words of wisdom now more than anything. He just didn’t know how to ask.
The phone rang as he was going back to his room. He stared at it for a minute. He had had too much emotional drama for one day. He just wanted to go back to sleep. He walked over to the answering machine and pressed the button for it to record. He went to his room and shut the door.
I'm addicted to you
You're a hard habit to break