Chapter Text
Karlie opened the glass door that led to the backyard, enjoying the fresh breeze that entered the house. She stepped outside, holding a glass of orange juice. The early morning sun’s rays were not warm yet compared to the temperature that would be during the day, but already warm compared to New York, where it was already chilly. After a minute Karlie stepped inside again, not wanting the cats to sneak out while she wasn’t looking, and checked her phone. It was a few minutes before 8 am.
She went further into the room and picked up Olivia who had been straying around the house.
“Hello Dibbles, are you excited to see Tay on TV, too?” she cooed at the small, white kitten as she sat down on the couch.
The young cat meowed in response, and Karlie laughed. She switched on the TV, but the program Taylor would be on was still showing advertisements. Karlie yawned. She had already gone for a short run, the morning air feeling refreshing, but now that she was sitting on the couch again, hair still wet from her shower and in comfortable clothes, she felt tired again. She hadn’t heard Taylor leaving early in the morning, the singer having to be at the studio in downtown LA early for hair and make-up.
“Good morning California!” the announcer’s voice could suddenly be heard from the TV, and Karlie directed her attention towards it.
The theme song started playing and a summary of the breaking news was given, then the studio with the hosts and audience appeared on screen. Karlie had no idea at what time Taylor would enter the studio, as this wasn’t a news program she usually watched, given the fact that it wasn’t broadcast in her area.
She felt nervous, like she always did whenever Taylor did anything. Olivia, however, did not seem too excited about seeing her human on TV, as Karlie realized when she looked down on her lap and saw that the kitten had fallen asleep. Meredith was still upstairs, and Karlie always thought it was funny how the cats had no idea who their human companion was.
Around twenty minutes into the program, Taylor was finally announced and entered the studio with thunderous applause from the audience and took a seat on the coach between the two hosts. Karlie’s breath hitched in her throat at the sight of her; she would never get used to how different Taylor looked on TV and in private. Her appearance was much bolder, more out-going, but also more feminine in front of the cameras. She was wearing a dress with t-shirt sleeves and a bold black, yellow and gray pattern, and her signature red lipstick. Her recently cut hair was at shoulder-length and straightened.
Even though Karlie already knew everything that was being discussed by Taylor and the hosts, she still listened attentively, unable to tear her eyes away from her girlfriend.
“So, Taylor, your new album 1989 was only released a week ago, and it has already made history! We got the statistics on the first week sales this morning and it sold 1.287 million copies so far! That is amazing!” the host announced.
“Thank you! I’m really thankful for everyone who bought it and likes the music. It means a lot to me!” Taylor said and smiled.
Karlie felt so proud of her. She had been the first one to listen to the album, and she would always hold the memory of that day close to her heart.
They kept talking about this and that, until the host announced they would talk about the individual songs on the album. Karlie suddenly felt even more nervous, knowing that she was the inspiration behind some of them.
“So, the first song on the record is called ‘Welcome to New York’, and it’s kind of a love letter to the place you now call home, the Big Apple” the host started.
“And some are actually calling this song ‘an equality anthem’, because of the following lyrics, quote ‘and you can want who you want, boys and boys and girls and girls.’ Tell us what inspired the song.”
Karlie gulped, and she could see Taylor doing the same on the screen. Taylor had rehearsed answering questions like this one, but she was still obviously nervous.
“Uh, well the song is inspired by what I love about New York, which is just kind of there’s a freedom to um, and there’s a celebration of being unique” Taylor started to explain, all the while fiddling with the rings on her fingers and not looking at the camera.
Karlie could feel her heart beating out of her chest. Olivia, who had been napping in her lap, seemed to sense her nervousness and woke up and started fidgeting.
“Um, you know, that was something I was very inspired by. And it’s, you know, so many of my friends had to be scrutinized for who they were in love with, you know from the time they came out, and I just … you know I didn’t wanna make a big deal out of it, because I don’t think it should be a big deal who you love, you know.”
At the last sentence Taylor finally looked towards the audience, who erupted in applause at her statement, and the hosts shared the sentiment. Taylor took a sip of water, and the host announced a break, then an advertisement started playing.
Karlie let out the breath she had been holding and picked up Olivia. She went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and when she put Olivia down onto the floor the cat immediately ran away and upstairs, probably to be with Meredith.
I wish I was a cat, unbothered by the world, Karlie thought to herself and grinned at the thought.
She made her way back to the couch, and the program resumed shortly after. Taylor and the hosts went through the album track by track, and Taylor explained the songs as best as she could. After yet another break, Taylor’s appearance at the show neared its end, and she talked to the hosts freely.
“So, Taylor, let me ask, how did you spend the last week? How does one spend their time when their album debuts at number one?” one of the hosts asked, making everyone else laugh.
“Oh, you know, I was pretty busy actually, I’ve been in both New York and LA, doing interviews and performances. The weekend I spent with my friends here in LA, actually, I had Selena and another friend over at my house and we just had a good time” Taylor said.
Karlie felt like someone had stabbed her heart. Another friend. She knew that Taylor obviously could not say ‘my girlfriend’, but it still hurt. The three of them hadn’t done anything special, just hung out and relaxed, but it had nevertheless been great fun. Karlie hated how Taylor’s statement made her feel, even though she knew that if she could, Taylor would shout ‘Look at my girlfriend!” from the rooftops of NYC, LA and any other major city in the world. But she couldn’t, so here they were.
“That sounds great” the host replied and smiled at Taylor.
“You seem to be spending a lot of time with your girlfriends lately” she continued.
“You went to Big Sur with a friend a while ago, and you’ve been spotted out and about with Selena Gomez, the Haim sisters and others recently. You seem to be enjoying life right now?” she asked towards the singer.
“Yeah, I really am” Taylor replied and smiled.
“My move to New York has been really good for me, and I’m very happy right now” she added and smiled genuinely.
Karlie’s heart started pounding in her chest again. Despite the hurt from Taylor’s previous statement and the fact that the host had called their one year anniversary road trip ‘with a friend’, she was beyond happy that she had a part in Taylor’s happiness, too.
The host smiled back at her.
“So, Taylor, can I ask? Does your happiness also have anything to do with a man in your life, are you seeing anyone?” she asked.
Taylor looked caught off guard by the question.
“Oh, uh … no, I’m single and happy right now” she replied, doing her best to smile.
“That’s great!” the host said, but Karlie didn’t hear much more of what was being said.
She felt like someone had just stabbed her heart again, and then again and again. Tears started forming in her eyes and made their way down her cheeks. She clutched the pillow closest to her and turned her eyes away from the TV.
Don’t be an idiot, she scolded herself. What is she supposed to say? Oh yeah I have a girlfriend actually, surprise!?
They had discussed time and time again, with and without Tree, Taylor’s publicist, how they would go about keeping their relationship private and how Taylor would act in interviews. Nevertheless, it still hurt Karlie to hear it out of Taylor’s mouth, especially when she knew that Taylor had requested to not be asked any private questions.
The show was over and Karlie mindlessly switched off the TV, then curled up on the couch, still clutching the pillow. She was deep in thought and couldn’t keep a few more tears from falling. After a while she heard her phone vibrating on the couch table quickly in succession, but she didn’t look at it. She knew that it was Taylor, but she wanted to be left alone for a few more minutes until the singer came home.
She realized she must’ve fallen asleep, because she was gently woken up by Taylor who had sat down at the edge of the couch, nudging her arm.
“Hey, good morning” Taylor whispered carefully.
Karlie opened her eyes.
“Oh, you’re back. Good morning” she replied quietly and tried to sit up so that she was now close to Taylor, facing her.
Taylor gently ran her fingers through Karlie’s hair and rubbed her thumb at the tear stains on her cheek. Karlie closed her eyes at the comforting touch.
“You’ve been crying” Taylor stated quietly, it wasn’t a question.
“Did you see my texts? I’m so sorry, Kar” she added sadly.
Karlie opened her eyes again and bit her lip.
“I’m sorry, too. I didn’t read them. I just fell asleep” she replied quietly.
Taylor pulled her in for a tight hug, and Karlie didn’t dare move. Taylor soothingly rubbed her hands over the taller girl’s back.
“I just …” Karlie started when they separated, and averted her eyes from Taylor.
“I know it’s not your fault. I just feel so stupid. Being referred to as ‘a friend’ and you saying you’re single … that hurt. I know we’ve talked about it … it’s still hard” she said quietly.
Taylor put her finger under Karlie’s chin to have the girl look up at her again.
“I know. I’m so sorry. It made me uncomfortable too. And I wish things were different … but right now I’m in the spotlight and we have to do this …” she trailed off, her fingers tracing along Karlie’s cheekbone.
They held their gaze for a while, blue eyes looking in green.
“And … I wish I could promise you that we can be more open in public in the foreseeable future, but I can’t make any promises now. All I know is that I will do anything to protect what we have … do you trust me?” Taylor added.
“Yeah” Karlie nodded in response.
“I want to be with you, Tay. No matter what” she said softly and smiled at her girlfriend.
Taylor smiled back and closed the small distance between them. Karlie’s lips were so soft and sweet, and she could never get enough. When they pulled apart, Taylor grinned when she saw that she had smeared her red lipstick on Karlie’s mouth.
“Look at you! All messed up!” she giggled, earning a playful shove from her girlfriend.
“I should go upstairs to change into something more comfortable” Taylor said and got up from the couch, pulling Karlie up with her. She was still wearing the same dress she had worn during the broadcast.
“How about we eat a bit of second breakfast and then nap?” she suggested, smiling at Karlie.
“Sounds good to me” the taller girl replied, and they made their way out of the living room.
“I’m gonna make some coffee and sandwiches” Karlie announced and turned towards the kitchen, while Taylor made her way towards the stairs, picking up her purse she had left in the hallway on the way.
“Perfect” she said and turned around towards Karlie again.
“We’re still going out later, right? The weather is gonna be so nice” she assured herself.
“Of course!” Karlie beamed.
Taylor smiled back at her, then made her way upstairs.
Both of them still felt a pang in their chests from the events in the morning, but they knew that they weren’t to blame. They simply had to make the best of their situation. For now, all they could do was focus on the present and enjoy the time they had together.