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“Bi Wenjun, you move one more goddamn inch and I swear I’ll snap your fucking back in half. I almost got the perfect shot of him until you moved."
Said boy scowled and hoisted Zeren further up his back, earning another chain of curses from him.
This attracted the attention of fans surrounding them, but really, the sight of a 187cm-tall guy giving a piggy-back to a smaller boy with a huge DSLR camera in his hands was pretty eye-catching in itself.
"Oh please, if I weren't here, you'd be on your tippy toes throughout the event and the only pictures you have would be the top of Yanchen's head, so shut up and be grateful," Wenjun grumbled but stopped moving for Zeren to peacefully snap away.
"Oh my GOD, Yanchen just looked into my camera and blew me a fucking kiss," Zeren wheezed and shoved the screen of his camera into Wenjun's face, "hold my camera, I'm uploading this on Weibo."
Wenjun rolled his eyes but complied, silently holding the camera as Zeren snapped a picture of it and uploaded it onto his Weibo fansite page, sunflowerboy0305.
"He literally does that at every single event you go to, but sure, whatever," Wenjun shrugged, but his comment went unnoticed by the preoccupied fanboy, who was busy captioning his post.
“Wish those lips were on mine LOL no, my gay is showing!”
“What about a whole bunch of heart emojis? Is that enough? Yeah, seems about right,” Zeren tapped the 'upload' button proudly.
Soon after, it was Zeren's turn to go up on stage to receive autographs from the Grammarie boys. Although he had done this about a dozen times, Yanchen's smile that greets him every time he kneels down in front of the table never fails to catch him off-guard.
"Hi, good to see you again! I saw the birthday ad you made for me," Yanchen flashed his iconic blinding smile at Zeren, who immediately snapped his neck up at the comment, "you're sunflowerboy0305 right?"
Zeren's eyes widened to liken the size of basketballs, conflicted between feeling honoured that Yanchen recognised him or coo at the way Yanchen pronounced his fansite name which was utterly adorable to say the least.
"Uh... yeah, I am... and, um... thank you for you know... seeing it?" Zeren felt his confidence ebb away as his cheeks began to heat up. He pressed his hands against his face to cool them down, but to no avail.
"No, thank you for making it. It's beautiful, like you," Yanchen winked and Zeren gasped silently. As he was about to ask what the hell Yanchen meant by that, he was ushered to Xingjie by a staff.
The remaining 3 members passed by in a blur; Yanchen's comment to Zeren just refused to leave his mind while he was telling Yankai how much he had improved, or even when he was thanking Linkai for getting rid of his dreadlocks.
"Wenjun. Wenjun," Zeren collapsed onto his friend as soon as he stepped off the stage, "Yanchen called me beautiful, he called me beautiful."
"Gosh calm down, you don't have to repeat yourself, I heard you," Wenjun scrolled through the pictures he took of Zeren talking to the members, "here, I got the picture of Yanchen winking at you."
Zeren seized the DSLR from Wenjun and scrutinised the picture. He wasn't dreaming, Yanchen really did wink at him; Yanchen really called him beautiful.
"Hate to burst your bubble, but, I'm pretty sure Yanchen says that to everyone who goes up on stage. See?" Wenjun gestured to a girl who audibly squealed after Yanchen whispered something to her. Zeren was too absorbed in his fantasy world to notice.
"Whatever," he positioned himself back on Wenjun's back, "Look, I'll double your portion of beef for hotpot later if you stop moving till the end of the event and just let me capture everything my legend Yanchen does. Win-win situation if you ask me."
As the owner of popular boyband LYYX's Zhou Yanchen's biggest fansite, Ding Zeren needs many things.
First on the list, money. Zeren worked his ass off for years, taking up various part time jobs, in order to afford his one and only, precious DSLR camera that he takes with him to all of LYYX's events. He resorted to limiting himself to a diet of instant noodles, three meals a day, in order to save money. That is, until Zhengting found out and confiscated a few months worth of instant noodles but started to cook for him daily.
He also needed his best friends: the Yuehua dance squad. Without Wenjun, he wouldn't be able to see anything at stand-only events, much less take high quality pictures. Without Zhengting, he'd probably be in the hospital due to an excessive intake of MSG. Without Quanzhe, there wouldn't be anyone to enthusiastically listen to his rants relating to Yanchen.
Yanchen. He needed Yanchen and his group to actively participate in events for him to keep taking pictures. As one of the most popular groups in China, LYYX was constantly packed with schedules to attend, making Zeren's Weibo fansite page prosper, in the process, helping him gain fans.
Lastly, support from his fans. It wasn't difficult as most of his followers were Yanchen biased, which meant that they love Yanchen as much as Zeren does, supporting him equally as well.
But Zeren's seemingly-perfect life just wasn’t meant to last.
"Zeren!" Justin tumbled into their practise room, while the boys were having a break. Zeren was busy editing photos on his laptop as the others were chatting among themselves.
Zeren simply lifted one side of his headphones and cocked an eyebrow at the pale, panic-stricken boy.
"Bro, what happened?" Chengcheng brought a palm up to Justin's forehead, "you're white as a sheet, are you sick?"
"No... just look," Justin thrusted his handphone between them, Zeren abandoning his laptop in favour of the breaking news.
"'Zhou Yanchen of LYYX forced to leave group and company due to dating scandal'... Justin? What's this?" Zhengting looked up, concerned. "Where’d you get this from? Is the site trustworthy?"
"I suppose so. It's all over the news, number one trending on Weibo, it's everywhere," Justin buried his face in his hands, "Zeren, I'm really sorry for this. I... don’t know what to say... Zeren?"
Justin’s words fell upon deaf ears to the fanboy; also the only one still reading the article, trying his utmost best to process this foreign information.
Yanchen seen leaving an unfamiliar lady’s home multiple times, late at night? Yanchen skipping practices to go out with that woman? Yanchen sighted kissing her, in her car? Yanchen found with empty condom wrappers in his pocket?
Zeren couldn’t bring himself to finish reading the article and threw the phone in Justin's direction, proceeding to storm out of the practise room.
How could the Yanchen he just read about be the same Yanchen that winked at him and called him beautiful a couple weeks ago? Maybe that was what got him into this fucking mess: flirting with everyone he meets and hooking up with them after.
He turned at a corner and squat down, with his head buried in the crook of his elbow, finally letting his tears flow. The Yanchen he thought he knew, who thinks smoking and drinking is bad, thinks playing around with girls is perfectly fine? How could Zeren not have seen this side of Yanchen before he became so invested, emotionally and physically, in him?
The slap of sandals against concrete started to close in, and Zeren soon found himself wrapped in someone's embrace. He didn't have to look up to know it was Wenjun, so he let himself sink into Wenjun's broad shoulders and let every last drop of his tears absorb into the fabric of Wenjun’s clothes.
"You wanna know something?" Wenjun sat beside Zeren and tenderly held his hands, "none of the articles have released Yanchen's official statement. It's still unknown if he did any of that. So don’t beat yourself up over something that might not even be true."
"But he's already kicked out of LYYX and Grammarie! Does it really matter if what the article said was true? I won't be able to see him perform on stage again. I won’t be able to see him again..." Zeren replied, punching the wall in frustration.
"Well, if he didn’t do any of that and the scandal is completely fake, at least you know you've been stanning a good, unproblematic man, right?"
Blame it on how calm and convincing Wenjun sounded, but in that very instant, Zeren believed every word that he said, maybe even latched onto them, desperately clinging on to the glimmer of hope that Wenjun is right. Yanchen might have been wrongly accused.
Perhaps that was what made the disappointment more brutal.
A week after the article about Yanchen's departure was posted, no subsequent information followed up except for the announcement that LYYX, now LYX, would be on a hiatus.
That week, Zeren uploaded several HDs he had taken of Yanchen during the most recent event he attended, and captioned them with encouraging words. To his dismay, most of the comments were telling him to 'stop posting pictures of Yanchen, he isn't part of LYX anymore'.
Fans were upset that Zeren continued to stand by Yanchen's side despite what had happened, and sent hate comments to him as well. After scrolling through a long list of death threats sent to him and Yanchen, Zeren decided that he has had enough.
"Where are you going?" Xinchun asked when he heard the sound of Zeren's laptop slamming and the stomping of feet to the door.
"To grab a drink," Zeren simply replied, wearing a cap and tossing on a hoodie.
"Can I come too?"
"No. I just... I want to be alone," Zeren sighed, in a tone of defeat. Xinchun felt rejected and was slightly upset but still nodded in understanding.
Zeren trudged to the restaurant near their house where the 4 adults from his dance squad often frequented. Stepping into the familiar environment, he was about to take a seat at his usual spot when he saw someone already there.
It wasn't just anyone.
Even with a cap hiding half his face and a hoodie over his head, making his features even more indistinctive, Zeren could recognise Yanchen anywhere.
Perhaps any other fan would rush up to him and greet him, ask for a sign and maybe a picture, and upload it on all known social media sites. But given Zeren's shy personality and with everything that was happening, Zeren opted to sit several tables beside him and observe.
Yanchen certainly didn't look too great. If he wasn’t staring blankly ahead, he was busy downing glass after glass after glass of beer. When did Yanchen even start drinking? He already had 5 empty bottles in front of him and was still calling for more. Zeren knew he should stop him before he got too drunk.
"Uh.. Yanchen-ge? It's uh... a surprise to see you here?" Zeren stood awkwardly in front of Yanchen, trying to ignore his bloodshot eyes and dark eye circles.
"Oh? Sunflowerboy0305?" Yanchen croaked out in his raspy voice.
"Yeah.. that's me," he clenched his hands into fists, thinking of something to say, "may I... have an autograph?"
Well done, Zeren. Someone who went to dozens of fansigns asks his favourite idol for his signature. What Zeren truly didn’t expect was Yanchen’s reply.
"What for? I'm not a celebrity anymore. I’m... I’m nobody. What would you want my signature for?"
"Oh, uh..." Zeren gave himself a mental slap on the cheek, "I'm sorry, I'll just be-"
"Sit down," Yanchen cut him off mid sentence.
Zeren shot Yanchen a look that was partly surprise and partly disbelief.
"I said sit down, please, I'd like to talk to you," Yanchen smiled wearily at Zeren who was beginning to panic.
Zeren's shaky hands pulled back the chair opposite Yanchen, coming face to face with his favourite idol. Yanchen sure looked like shit but who was Zeren to complain? He looked no better.
"What's your name?" Yanchen began, already pouring Zeren a glass of beer.
"I'm Z-zeren..." Zeren mumbled, staring at his lap, unable to find the courage to look up at Yanchen.
"What did you say? Ren? Is that your name?" Yanchen set the bottle down and Zeren could feel his gaze pierce the top of his head. "That's a cute name."
Zeren suppressed a smile. If Yanchen thought the name 'Ren' was cute, then that shall be his name from now on.
They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments after that, before Yanchen spoke up again.
"You're... not disgusted at me for what happened? I saw your posts... on your fansite page... those words of support for me. You don't even know the full story."
Zeren slowly raised his head and for the first time that night, properly looked at Yanchen in all his messed-up glory.
"My best friend told me to wait till your statement was out, well, I guess that didn't happen... But I trust that I bias a good and unproblematic guy, as he said, so I'm still here, by your side," he confessed, absent-mindedly playing with the water droplets that had condensed on the table.
"They didn't even ask me if the rumours were true. They just... kicked me out," Yanchen's voice cracked at the last few words. "Said it'd ruin their reputation. Hah. You know what they're gonna do after the hiatus? Pretend as if I never existed in the group. Why.. why are they doing this?"
Zeren took in a breath to reply him but Yanchen continued, "Sorry for rambling, I don't even know why I'm saying this to you. Maybe it’s because no one has been on my side for the past week, and you're truly the only one who still believes in me. You still do, right?" Yanchen looked so raw, so exposed and vulnerable in that instant. He laid his emotions bare before Zeren, all the feelings of sadness, anger, hurt, Zeren saw it all.
The smaller boy nodded feverishly, eliciting a sigh of relief from Yanchen.
"I'm sorry they had to do this to you, couldn't they at least ask you for your statement?" Zeren frowned, "what about Xingjie, Linkai and Yankai? Didn't they say anything to stop your company from kicking you out?"
Yanchen chugged an entire glass of beer at the mention of those three names, turning back to Zeren when he was done, "they were skeptical as well, they didn't know whether to believe me or the articles even though I told them that only a fraction of it is true. So much for the bond we’ve forged over the years," he sighed, "but then again, the CEO didn't give them a choice to even want me to stay, he just threw me out."
"That's terrible, your own brothers betraying you.. I can’t even fanthom what I'd do if my brothers turned their backs on me because of some rumours," Zeren shook his head, "I hope you know that... I'll b-be here by your side. You're not alone in this, ge."
For the first time that night, Yanchen's usual warm and comforting smile spread across his face. He gently placed his hands on Zeren's and whispered a thanks.
Zeren stared blankly at the physical contact between them, only to be laughed at by Yanchen.
"Come on, why’re you so shocked? It’s not as if we’ve never locked hands during fansigns," he stood up from his seat, "it's getting late. You should be on your way back home."
Just when Zeren thought Yanchen was done being an absolute sweetheart, he whipped out a fifty and covered the bill for the both of them.
"Thank you for today, Ren, it made me feel a little better about the whole situation," Yanchen smiled bashfully, "I hope I'll see you around?"
Zeren nodded timidly and bid Yanchen goodbye as he watched Yanchen recede from view.
A mild feeling of disappointment stirred within Zeren once Yanchen completely faded into the darkness. Meeting Yanchen that day was purely a coincidence, what are the odds it would ever happen again?
"I hope I'll see you around too."
The group of friends circled the stagnant creature on the floor, sighing in unison, as if on cue.
"Is he okay?" Xinchun asked rhetorically, clearly not expecting an answer.
"He hasn't moved for the past... Let’s see. 3 hours," Chengcheng pointed out, "is he even alive?"
"Oh Zeren baobao," Zhengting, the only humane one of the group who bothered to made an effort to help the poor boy, "what's the matter? You've been lying here for the longest time, are you tired? Hungry? You need a drink? Or is it because of..."
Zeren nodded slightly.
"Sweetie, you know that it'll get better, it's not the end of the world," It was the fourth time that week that Zhengting had said those very words, and Zeren had grown immune to them.
"I miss him," Zeren's voice was muffled from being sprawled face-first on the ground.
"Oh dear, I know you do..." Zhengting patted his back, "you'll definitely be able to take pictures of him again, once this mess is over. Trust me, everything will be okay."
"It's not that," Zeren mumbled, fully aware that none of them knew he had met Yanchen the night before.
"Then? It's okay to tell us darling, we'll help y-"
Zhengting's sentence was interrupted by the sharp bang of the front door and a sweaty Quanzhe staggering in with bags from the convenience store.
"Zeren!" He panted, trying to catch his breath, "Yanchen! Yanchen... he..."
At the mention of the sacred name, Zeren shot up, giving his full attention to the exhausted hamster.
"So we just needed to say his name for him to get up," Justin mumbled, "how much does he miss him?"
"What's the matter, Quanzhe?" Zhengting furrowed his eyebrows in concern.
"Yanchen... He's downstairs. In our main office."
"WHAT?!" The six of them echoed.
Wenjun folded his arms, "don't pull our leg, Quanzhe, it's not funny."
"I'm serious!!" He whined defensively, "I got back from the convenience store with your stuff, and I saw Yanchen talking to teacher Jieqiong in the main office! I didn't hear what they were talking about though, I just ran up here to tell you."
"I guess there's only one way to find out," Zhengting looped an arm around Zeren, who was still suffering from aftershock, "let's go."
The seven of them padded down two long flights of stairs to the main office, where Jieqiong's voice and another male's voice became more prominent.
"I'm sorry, you know how it is. With all the news going around, I just can’t afford for you to join my boys. I suggest you wait-"
"Please, dancing is my passion! You’re a dancer too, don’t you understand how I feel? I promise I won't be of any harm to your boys, I just want to dance with people again."
They barged into the office, crowding the doorway, observing the situation.
"What's going on?" Zhengting spoke first.
Jieqiong turned to Yanchen, looking somewhat annoyed, "This young man here, who I'm sure you all know, wants to join this academy and practice dancing with you all. But with all the news still circulating-"
"Ren!" Yanchen exclaimed, his face brightening immediately, "I didn’t know you attended this academy!"
"Who's Ren?" Wenjun sneered, before following Yanchen's gaze and seeing who he was talking about, "oh."
"Stop interrupting me, young man! Anyway, I’m adamant that you will not be joining us. If you're seen around any of my boys, the public will attack my boys as well. I care a lot about them and I don’t want them to be hurt. So-"
"Teacher!" Zhengting whined, "I know you’re looking out for us, and we all really appreciate that. But I’m sure Yanchen will do more good than harm by joining us. And that’s a joint decision by us. You've seen how talented of a dancer he is, right? He'll be able to help us improve! We’ll make sure Yanchen is undercover when we’re out so no one will notice him."
Jieqiong stared at him, displeased, and obviously not convinced.
Zhengting turned around and shot the other boys a look that they understood immediately.
"Please??" They echoed in unison, except for Zeren who was still paralysed in shock and clinging onto Xinchun's shirt for support.
Jieqiong sighed, “It’s not that I don’t want him to join us because he’s not a good dancer. I’m fully aware of how talented he is but- The academy is still fairly new and with all the rumours going about... I don’t know. It’s hard."
“Teacher, please? It’s something we all want and we’ll all make sure he won’t be seen by the public! We promise!” Zhengting voiced out.
“You brats are making this difficult for me,” she combed her fingers through her hair in frustration. The boys rarely requested anything from her and she knew they’d pester her to no end if she rejected them. “Well, you wouldn’t let me live if I said no, would you? Fine, I don’t know if this is a good idea but just make sure you keep your word!”
"Thank you teacher!" They exclaimed and dragged Yanchen out with them as they left the room, leaving Jieqiong stunned by how readily they got along.
"Zeren! You finally get to see Yanchen again!" Quanzhe bounced up and down, shoving Zeren closer to Yanchen.
"Yeah! And you'll be seeing him everyday from now, aren't you excited?" Justin added, shoving Yanchen closer to Zeren.
Zeren tuned out his friends' continuous chatter and focused on the situation at hand. Just last night, he met the idol he’s been pining on for ages at a restaurant, talked with him and even had his drinks paid by him. The very next day that same idol is joining his dance academy and would be practicing with his team?
Yanchen turned to him and flashed a megawatt smile. "Looks like you and I will be seeing a lot more of each other!"
Zeren closed his eyes and tried to calm his wildly thumping heart. This was going to be a long ass ride.
Zeren knew it was going to be a bad idea.
Not only could he see the way Yanchen worked his legs so magically as he danced up close, the fact that Yanchen would smirk in his direction when he caught Zeren looking at him drove him crazy, yet it kept him in a trance that had him looking only at Yanchen.
Imagine that everyday. To say that Zeren was incredibly flustered but in love with Yanchen was an understatement.
Not only that, their choreography for the dance festival in a few weeks' time included a sexy dance break, and who did the one and only Mr. Genius Choreographer, Zhengting decide to put in front of Zeren?
"Ren! You're behind me!" Yanchen grinned, oblivious to Zeren's panic. "Help me point out if I get any of the moves wrong, okay?"
The music began to play and Zeren desperately forced his eyes to focus on Yanchen's moves and not his sinful thighs and erotic expressions. Good heavens, those thighs though.
"I swear, he's doing this for a PURPOSE!" Zeren sobbed that night in his and Wenjun's shared room, "but what purpose exactly? To seduce me?"
"I don’t know, maybe he's still really excited about the fact that his favourite fansite is in the same dance academy as him," Wenjun shrugged, "don't overthink it, buddy."
Zeren shot up from his bed, startling Wenjun. "But he's outright flirting with me! I did not sign up for this when I decided to be his fansite!"
"What if he likes you?" Wenjun wondered, "that could be a possibility."
Zeren huffed, dismissing his best friend. "Are you sane? Yanchen, falling for a loser like me? Impossible."
"I'm just suggesting," he grumbled, "talk to him about it tomorrow or whatever. Just shut up and let me sleep."
Easier said than done, Zeren thought as he entered the practice room the next day. Instead of Yanchen using his free time to practice and catch up with the rest of them like usual, he was lying down on the sofa with his snapback over his face, unmoving.
"Wake up Yanchen-ge!" Quanzhe hopped over to him, "it's time to practice!"
Throughout the session that day, Yanchen constantly messed up his steps and seemed distracted. He didn't even "flirt" with Zeren, which was a huge sign that something was up.
"Yanchen! Wake up! It’s time to come to your senses! Our performance is in two weeks and you can't get the chorus right?" Zhengting's typical warm personality dissipates when it comes to dance.
"I'm sorry..." Yanchen apologised for the umpteenth time, "may I take a break? I don't feel so well."
"I guess we'll end here today, it's almost time anyway," Zhengting sighed, "you coming to eat with us?"
Yanchen shook his head, retreating to the back of the room.
Glancing worriedly at him, Zeren told Zhengting, "I'll stay behind too."
Blatantly ignoring the glamorous display of kissy faces from Wenjun, Chengcheng, Justin, Xinchun and Quanzhe, Zeren silently sat on the sofa.
"How did you know I wanted to be with you?" Yanchen smiled wearily, similar to the expression that Zeren saw the day at the restaurant.
"I needed to talk to you. But mostly because you don't seem yourself today... Is everything okay?"
Yanchen stared at Zeren for a solid five seconds, before looking away and shaking his head.
"Xingjie, Linkai and Yankai called me out for dinner just now," Yanchen stated flatly.
"What! Isn't that a good thing?" Zeren exclaimed.
The taller sighed, leaning back onto the sofa. "It was. We were having fun. The four of us only, like old times. Until... their manager came."
Zeren could see where this was going.
"He... yelled at me, that was the first thing he did. Then he embarrassed me in public, called me a disgusting whore, and warned me not to go near his boys." He lowered his head and continued, "right before he literally pushed me out of the restaurant, he scolded them, and told them how they'll be punished... I don't think they'll be calling me to hang out again any time soon. Or anytime at all.”
"That's terrible," Zeren frowned, "they didn't try to stop him?"
Yanchen shook his head, breathing heavily. "I thought our bond had been restored because of how much fun we were having moments ago! But they just sat there quietly as they were being yelled at. But I understand why they did that. There are consequences to bear if they even dare retaliate."
Zeren watched as Yanchen tried to hold back his tears. Thinking of a way to make him feel better, he felt his earphones in his back pocket and an idea popped into his mind.
"Want to listen to music?" Zeren offered Yanchen one side of his earpiece and the latter gratefully accepted, even resting his head comfortably on Zeren's shoulder.
"What did you need to talk to me about?" Yanchen whispered, his words sending vibrations up Zeren's neck and making him shiver.
"Uh... I um, forgot," Zeren stuttered as he fumbled around his playlist for soothing R&B music.
Tapping on 'Space' by Oner, Zeren allowed the soft music to drift into his ears, making him drowsy.
"Thank you for making me feel better, Ren," Zeren roughly heard Yanchen whisper before his eyelids drooped shut, "you mean a lot to me."
An hour later, the others returned to the practice room to find Yanchen and Zeren sleeping on each other, earphones still plugged in.
"Disgusting," Xinchun muttered but rushed up to snap a picture.
"Leave them alone, Xinchun, let them be a cute sappy couple if they want to," Zhengting held up the plastic bag of takeaway they got for the two of them, "I guess this means more food for us!"
"Your lockscreen is a picture of me?"
Zeren leaped from his position on the floor of their practice room, simultaneously letting out an ugly scream and dropping his iPhone X on the floor. Since when did Yanchen get in here?
"Oh look, your homescreen is a picture of me, too," Yanchen picked the stray phone off the floor, "that's adorable."
"I almost had a heart attack, Yanchen," Zeren clutched his chest, collapsing to the floor. "Please give that back."
"Nope," Yanchen stuck his tongue out at the panting boy, "want me to take a new selfie for your homescreen? This way you'll be special."
"Yanchen please... this is so embarrassing," Zeren buried his face in his hands as Yanchen laughed off his pleading, angling his phone to take a selfie.
Yanchen handed Zeren's phone back to him, giving him a million-dollar smile, identical to the new photo on his homescreen. Zeren lowered his head in embarrassment, praying that his cheeks weren't red.
"When did you come in here anyway?" Zeren pocketed his phone, "where are the others? Isn't it almost time for practice?"
"Zhengting wanted me to tell you that today's practice is cancelled! He wanted a day off for all of us so he brought the others to karaoke," Yanchen grinned.
Zeren's head shot up and he said exasperately, "what about us? They all went without us?"
"Nope," Yanchen started walking towards him, "I told Zhengting that I'd be bringing you out for... a date." Yanchen’s grin was still prominent on his face but Zeren saw through his facade and knew it was all an act to cover up his feelings of embarrassment.
"W-WHAT?" Zeren's eyes were as large as saucers, and he was positive sweat was rolling down his cheeks.
"A date," Yanchen replied, angling his face downwards to hide his cheeks that were dusted a rosy pink. "Why? Unless you don't want to? I mean, I don’t want to force it on you or anything I just thought that it would be nice and I want to spend some time with you and-"
"N-No! I want to, I just... was surprised," Zeren fanned his burning cheeks, "so... where are we going?"
"Really? I was thinking of going to the movies! I overhead you saying to Wenjun that you wanted to catch a show right?"
"Y-Yeah..." Zeren didn't have the heart to tell Yanchen that he'd already seen it, with Wenjun.
On the way to the cinema, Zeren tried keeping silent, hoping Yanchen would mirror his silence, but the latter seemed to have warmed up and enjoyed embarrassing Zeren way too much.
"Ren? Can I ask you something?" Yanchen didn't wait for his approval before continuing, "why did you decide to become my fansite?"
"Huh?" Yanchen caught Zeren off-guard. Of all questions, why this? "I-I don't know... the first time I saw you, it was at this dance festival we were watching, and I saw you, Yankai, Xingjie and Linkai performing. And I instantly... got attracted to you?"
"So you fell for me? Was it love at first sight?" Yanchen laughed, causing blood to rush to Zeren's cheeks again.
"Wh-whatever..." Zeren cleared his throat, "the next thing I knew, you were debuting with them. Since I wanted to keep seeing you and keep those memories, I started taking photos, but it was only months later before I could afford a professional camera."
"That's so cute," Yanchen chuckled, "I remembered you. All the way back to our first schedules, because you're probably one of our few male fans."
"S-Stop saying that I'm cute," Zeren cursed his stuttering, "I'm not."
"Of course you are," Yanchen poked one of Zeren's cheeks. "Who are you trying to kid with a fansite name like 'sunflowerboy0305', my selfies as your lockscreen and homescreen, and becoming a fansite to keep your memories of seeing me; you're literally the cutest."
"Gosh no, shut up," Zeren grumbled as they reached the cinema, "I'm going to the toilet for awhile, you can buy the food first."
Yanchen nodded feverishly, prancing towards the snack stand, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
The excited boy spun around, only to be greeted by a familiar face he wished he had forgetten.
"Yanchen," the girl smiled upon seeing his reaction, "it's been quite a while hasn’t it."
"Go away," he scowled, shrugging her hand off his shoulder, "I told you, I don't want to see you anymore."
"But Yanchen! You're free now. We can be together for as long as you want and not be afraid of getting caught anymore," the girl slid her slender arms up Yanchen’s waist.
"I don't want to! I don't want to be associated with you in any way. Just leave, let's mind our own businesses from now on," he growled, yanking her hand away.
"Yanchen-ge~ please~ I was going to ask you if you wanted to go out since you're not an idol anymore. I still really like you!" She whined loudly, causing people to glance their way.
Yanchen looked around warily, before flinging her away. "Go out with me? Hah, after all you've done to me, you still have the guts to ask me to be your boyfriend?"
"But-"
"Fuck off," he was through with her, but it looked like she wasn't planning on leaving any time soon. Yanchen looked her dead in her eyes and in the most chilling tone, whispered through gritted teeth, "listen, I’m done with playing your games. You can find someone else to manipulate. Have some dignity, don’t come begging for me to take you back. I don’t ever want to see you again."
His words, as direct as they could be strung together in a sentence, didn’t get to her. She stood in front of him, unwavering, folded her arms, and started throwing a tantrum. From the corner of his eyes, Yanchen saw Zeren leave the washroom.
With a slight hand gesture, Yanchen beckoned Zeren to come over, to which the smaller boy obliged warily.
As soon as Zeren was by Yanchen's side, Yanchen took a deep breath, interlaced his fingers with Zeren's, and held it up for the girl to see.
"Well, I’m taken," he nodded to their joined hands.
At the very mention of the last word, Zeren's and the girl's eyes simultaneously almost bulged of their sockets.
"No way... You’re leaving me for him? This... ugly... thing?" The girl was at a loss for words. Zeren seemed mildly offended by the remark and would have clobbered her on the head if not for Yanchen's grip on his hand tightening.
"You disgusting whore," her pupils were shaking by now; Yanchen was proud that his idea had worked, "I hope you both rot in hell, you homosexual assholes."
With that, she stormed straight out of the cinema, leaving Yanchen and Zeren standing there with their hands still interlocked.
"Sorry," Yanchen retreated his hand and rubbed his nape bashfully, "let's buy the tickets and go in now... Ren?"
Zeren still stood there, paralysed, thinking about what the hell Yanchen just did. Hold his hand and say he was taken? Implying that he was Yanchen's boyfriend?
"Ren? Are you okay?" Yanchen stooped down to be at eye level with Zeren, "are you still shocked by what I said?"
"Did... you mean it?" Zeren slowly glanced back up into Yanchen's eyes.
Yanchen smirked, taking hold of Zeren's hand again. "Maybe? Is Zhou Yanchen taken by Ding Zeren? Stay tuned to find out."
Chuckling at Zeren's reaction, Yanchen dragged him to the ticket stand and into the theatre, hands still intertwined.
That night, whatever movie the two of them watched was a blur in Zeren's mind, but the words that Yanchen said to him remained crystal clear in his head, constantly tormenting him, begging for answers.
Jieqiong entered the practice room as the boys were practising, making Chengcheng run over to the speakers to turn off the music as they bowed to greet her.
"I have some news for you," she told them, putting her hands behind her back.
"Are we going to perform at another festival?" Quanzhe chirped excitedly.
"No," Jieqiong looked solemn, "it's about your performance next week."
The boys looked at her expectantly, not saying a word.
"I'm sorry, Yanchen, but I think it’s best if you don’t perform next week," she sighed, "I don't want to do this either, but it's the safest option for you. If-"
"B-But! I want to be able to perform on stage again! Why? Why must you take away my first chance of performing with them?" Yanchen argued, obviously upset.
Jieqiong sighed again, reply to him in a reluctant manner, "since you're one of my boys now, I don’t want to imagine how it would be if the public sees you performing and chooses to throw hate at you. What if you make it onto the news again? We would all be affected, Yanc-"
"Just because of my scandal, you're not allowing me to perform?" Yanchen's voice was shaking, "so you're going to ban me from all performances just because of that?"
"I promise I'll let you perform the next time. I'm sorry," she repeated and promptly exited the room.
Yanchen stood in his spot, glaring at the floor, not speaking a word. Just as Zhengting was about to go up to him to comfort him, Yanchen threw his cap on the floor in rage and stormed out of the practice room.
All of them flinched at the sharp sound of the door slamming shut, before turning to look at Zeren.
"What?" He asked, glancing around at them.
"Go after your boyfriend," Xinchun stated, nodding towards the door.
"He's not my-" Zeren rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "Whatever. I'll go."
Zeren stepped out of the room, walking around absent-mindedly until he saw a sad figure crouched down in a corner, shoulders slumped, and approached it.
Yanchen sighed as Zeren crouched beside him on the floor. "I’m just asking for a few minutes on stage. It's where I find my happiness, and teacher is just going to rob me of my opportunities of doing so? Does she not understand?"
"Don't think like that, teacher Jieqiong really cares a lot about us," Zeren spoke softly, "she's just worried that you'll get attacked if you're seen on stage again, especially because the issue hasn't died down yet. She'll definitely let you perform next time, I'm sure of it. Trust me?"
Yanchen continued staring at the floor, not making a sound.
"You know, once, Zhengting sprained his ankle pretty badly but he still wanted to perform. Of course teacher didn't allow him and like you, he was really upset because of it. He’d been practicing for the stage for months, and all his effort meant nothing because of sprained ankle. It was a difficult choice for teacher to make but I know it was for his own sake. Only when he got better, did she allow him to perform again," Zeren lightly tugged on Yanchen’s hand and tried to make him look over, "don’t be discouraged, okay? I know she will let you perform when things get better."
Yanchen returned Zeren's gaze and gave him a tiny, insincere smile. "Okay."
Zeren frowned at his failed attempt to make Yanchen feel better. The taller guy still had sadness written all over his face, and the sight caused Zeren's heart shatter into pieces.
"How about.. I skip the dance festival with you?" Zeren suggested, and Yanchen immediately looked at him, both shock and surprise evident in his eyes.
"No! Don't do that Ren, don't miss out on this chance. You've put in so much effort for this performance, don't give it up for me," Yanchen put a hand on Zeren's knee.
"It doesn't matter that much to me. I’d rather not perform than perform on stage without you," Zeren almost visibly cringed at his words.
Yanchen crashed into him for a giant hug, and Zeren could feel Yanchen's smile against his chest. "You're the sweetest, Ren, how are you always so sweet to me? I don't deserve your kindness, yet you're giving it to me everyday. I don’t deserve to like a guy like you."
Zeren froze at the last statement. "Y-you.. like me?"
Yanchen broke their contact to look at Zeren. "This isn’t very planned out but yes, I like you, quite a lot."
"You?" He pointed at Yanchen, "like me? How is that possible?"
"Oh my god, stop making me say it so many times... Yes, I like you, Ding Zeren," Yanchen smiled at the stunned boy.
When Zeren blankly stared at him for a minute without a word, Yanchen broke out into a fit of laughter, leaving the former confused.
"It’s probably the worst time to say this, but since we're here already, why stop now?" Yanchen smiled bashfully, "Thank you for being the sweetest person to me on this planet for as long as I've known you. From the time you were still my fansite, you kept your distance, respected me and showed me your love all at the same time. I thought that was very admirable."
"Even after I became jobless, you still stayed by my side, believed in me, listened to me, made me feel better. Not to mention, you're the cutest and purest person I know, how could I not fall for you?" Yanchen was outright blushing, and Zeren's heart was pretty much vibrating in his chest at this point.
"Remember the day I called you beautiful?" Yanchen covered his face with his hands, embarrassed. "I meant it."
Zeren's blank stare at Yanchen remained, causing Yanchen to continue laughing.
"I'm sorry this is so abrupt, I was waiting for the day to properly confess to you, you know? I had it all planned out. I'd take you to a fancy restaurant, have a candlelight dinner, then confess to you there. This is so unromantic, don't you th-"
Zeren's abrupt embrace reduced the rest of Yanchen's sentence to an ugly squeal as Zeren clung on to him, sobbing into his back.
"I don't care how unromantic this is, I really, really like you too, Zhou Yanchen," Zeren whispered, "you liking me back was far from my imaginations, I can't believe this is actually happening now. Is this a dream?"
"You are so cute," Yanchen held on to Zeren even tighter. "The wait is over. Zhou Yanchen taken by Ding Zeren? You were absolutely right."
A figure carelessly bumped into Yanchen, almost causing the DSLR camera to fall out of Zeren's hands.
"Can't she at least say sorry? Geez, if she actually broke my camera, I'd make her pay the full thousand dollars I spent on th-"
Zeren's sentence was cut off by the deafening cheers from the crowd, and he caught a glimpse of his friends ascending to the stage.
"They're performing soon! Is your camera ready?" Yanchen shouted from under Zeren. The photographer gave a thumbs up to his boyfriend.
Familiar music blared through the speakers, and the six of them began moving their limbs in time to the beat, leaving their fans in awe.
"Justin winked into my camera! That little shit, he always knows how to look good for cameras," Zeren snorted but the tinge of humour in his voice showed that he was proud of him.
After their short performance came to a close, with a full set of fantakens on Zeren's camera, Yanchen rushed them backstage to reunite with their friends.
"All of you did amazing today! Yanchen took a video of your whole performance and I got fantakens!" Zeren hopped off Yanchen's back as he showed them the pictures excitedly.
"Is that your profession now? Taking photos instead of dancing? I see having a boyfriend completely changed you, Mr Ding," Chengcheng laughed and was promptly whacked on back of his head.
"How could you replace me, Zeren? I thought I was your only stepladder," Wenjun folded his arms, looking mildly offended.
Zeren stuck a tongue out at him, latching himself onto Yanchen. "I don’t need you when I have Yanchen now."
Wenjun scowled, muttering, "I'm still taller than him anyway, so I'm a better stepladder."
"At least I don't have to treat Yanchen to food after this, I can just smother him with kisses," Zeren fought back and Wenjun rolled his eyes, fighting the urge to throw up.
"Babe, aren’t you a little too confident flirting with me now?" Yanchen came to stand beside Zeren as the others disappeared to change out of their clothes, "where's the shy sunflowerboy0305 that I used to know?"
"He's gone," Zeren looped an arm around Yanchen's waist and pressed a small kiss on his cheek, "together with idol Zhou Yanchen. Now they're just two ordinary boys, training together in the same dance academy, and very much in love."