Archive of Our Own ^beta

Sujong’s lungs are on fire. The pain licks at his throat, too, and causes an ache that only comes from singing into a mic so long that it becomes unbearable to speak.

However, Sujong is still so high from the adrenaline he got after performing on stage with his group mates, that he really doesn’t mind the burning in his lungs. And also, maybe his lips are a bit numb, but who cares about that?! They had a great show today.

Currently, the singer is sitting on an amp backstage— attacking the cheap water bottle that one of the staff threw at him when he finished performing. The rest of the members are probably doing the same, but in the changing rooms, where there’s obviously better AC and more water.

But Sujong has always liked staying backstage after shows, watching his band mates’ instruments and amps being carried away by the staff, and generally watching everything go back to its place. It’s undoubtedly satisfying.

He’s watching one of the staff pick up a particularly big part of Minseok’s drum set when he feels a slender hand on his shoulder.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Sujong turns in the direction of the hand, and he finds himself looking at Hyunjun’s glittery, kohl-lined eyes. His lips are a bit chapped from biting them so much, and he still has his guitar strap on, except without the actual guitar. The younger is looking at him with a goofy look in his eyes, and a smirk adorning his peeling lips.

Sujong thinks he looks pretty, undoubtedly so. Hyunjun slides his soft hand to Soojung’s own, and drags him up off the spare amp.

“Come on, Hyung!” he says, childish tone spilling out of his voice, “Minseok and Junyoungie are waiting for you in the dressing room.”

Sujong smiles, and lets himself be dragged by him, ignoring the weird feeling he gets in the pit of his stomach.

♬♪♫

They’re in the practice room, cleaning up after a long session of chord progressions in instruments and vocals, when Minseok decides to propose the idea.

“Guys,” he declares, “I think we should do a sleepover in here!”

Junyoung shrugs, and smiles a bit, which is very cute, for an actual 12 year old.

Minseok looks to their leader, Hyunjun, for approval. However, Sujong speaks up first. “Why are we having a sleepover in here, when we literally live together?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

Minseok is about to answer when Hyunjun interrupts him. “I think it’s a good idea,” he says, shrugging his bony shoulders (he really should eat more, Sujong thinks), “It’s a good team bonding experience, in my opinion.”

Sujong agrees, and nods. So it begins.

Next thing he knows, it’s 10 pm, after a long day of vocal lessons and training, and it’s time to initiate the sleepover.

The eldest opens the door to the practice room, sleeping bag (which he grabbed from his shared dorm with Hyunjun earlier) in tow. 

The view that greets him is a mess of blankets and sleeping bags spread out on the floor. He sees Minseok giggling at something Junyoung says, while Junyoung is sitting on his pile of blankets, telling a funny story about a cat he saw.

Mysteriously enough, their leader isn’t there, which makes Sujong feel a bit... empty? He shakes his head, trying to forget that thought. He just misses his friend, that’s all.

When Hyunjun finally arrives, fashionably late of course, after a long day of solo schedules and filming, smeared makeup and all, Sujong finally feels like he can breathe.

The boy approaches him with a sly smile, his eyes twinkling beneath his smudged eyelids. 

“Hey, hyung,” he greets, looking at Sujong mischievously. Sujong tries not to gulp and smiles too, shooting Hyunjun one of his signature smiles.

”Hello, Hyunjun,” he says, in a good-natured way, probably masking his nervousness behind it. Sujong sees the younger brighten, and turns around to look at Minseok and Junyoung.

”Let’s join them, hyung” Hyunjun says, taking his skinny hand into Sujong's rough one, and pulling him to where Junyoung and Minseok were still conversating.

”Hello, hyungs,” Junyoung greets, in his signature low voice, while Minseok waves at them, smiling brightly.

”You were just in time, guys!”, Minseok exclaims, “Junyoung was just starting to talk about this alien dream he had last night!”

An hour later, the group collectively decides that it's time to sleep. Minseok and Junyoung had already washed and toned their faces before, so they just went straight to sleep.

Sujong, however, forgot to wash his face because his vocal lesson ran bit long today, so he heads into the bathroom next to their practice room.

In the bathroom, their leader is currently brushing his teeth, makeup wiped down and almost completely off, with a purple headband pushing back his dirty blonde hair. His chapped lips are covered in toothpaste foam, and he’s staring at himself intently in the mirror.

Sujong closes the door behind him, gives Hyunjun another smile, and grabs his cleanser from the cabinet beside him. Sujong opens the faucet, letting cold water flow from it, and waits for it to become warm.

While he’s waiting, Sujong has the great idea of looking at Hyunjun’s bareface through the mirror. The other is still brushing his teeth, but is now looking away to the small window in the top right wall of the room. 

Sujong stifles back a sigh, and tries not to look at him for too long, because that feeling is burning in the pit of his stomach again, like before. 

He checks the running water to see if it’s warm now, and it is. The older squirts his cleanser into his hand, and wets his face. The warm water burns his skin a bit, but Sujong finds that he likes it. He massages his face for a while, and rinses the cleanser off.

Sujong puts up his cleanser, ready to take out his toner and cotton pads, when he sees Hyunjun’s tired eyes meet his own. Sujong stops for a second, and gives him a tight smile. Hyunjun gives him a wary one in return.

 ♬♪♫

Darkness surrounds Sujong’s eyes, staring up at the dark ceiling of their practice room. For some reason, he can’t get that feeling in the pit of his stomach, out of his head. Sujong knows that it’s something, but he really doesn’t know how to admit it to himself.

He’s had crushes before, fleeting. But none of them made him feel like Hyunjun did. There was just something about him that kept ricocheting in Sujong's mind.

Sujong flips over on his sleeping bag, looking at Hyunjun laying a couple of feet away, in his own makeshift bed. He looks peaceful, in his own world, but shifting in his sleep. The boy tosses and turns, all with a serene expression on his pale face. What a paradox he is.

Suddenly, when Sujong is starting to drift off into a light sleep, he feels a bony hand press on his shoulder. He jolts, and realizes it’s Hyunjun, spreading out his arm, touching the other. The boy is still fast asleep, and keeps rolling closer and closer to Soojung. 

Sujong tries to make the breath he sucks in as quiet as possible, to not wake the younger boy. He hears quiet snores becoming a bit louder as Hyunjun rolls closer to him. Sujong tries not to panic. 

He’s an adult, he tries to tell himself, I can handle a boy rolling towards me in the middle of the night. 

However, this facade dissolves when Hyunjun is in the brink of being in Sujong's arms, and the older is trying not to panic, debating whether or not he was going to push Hyunjun away, or let him roll into him.

Sujong's thoughts are cut short by Hyunjun’s bony chest colliding with his own, causing Soojung to quietly gasp in shock. The younger curls his hands around Soojung’s waist, and Soojung forgets how to breathe.

Once Sujong decides to just let it happen, he drifts off to an uneasy sleep.

♬♪♫

It happens a few times after that, surprisingly. Sujong would’ve thought that it was preferable to not do it again, for his own heart and sanity, but Hyunjun seemed to absolutely love it.

”Hyung, this is great for our bond!”, he stated, pink staining his pale cheeks.

Sujong nods, as if he doesn’t mind getting another almost-heart attack. 

So, Hyunjun starts to slip into his bed at night, like it was a totally normal thing to do. The boy says it’s because the AC is on too cold, and that he doesn’t want anyone else to feel hot because of him.

Sujong somehow manages to keep his cool throughout this whole thing, repeating the keep yourself cool mantra in his head, over and over again. He sends Hyunjun a charming smile when he suggests the bed sharing, but he’s secretly screaming internally.

Argh, this punk is really playing with his heart strings, huh.

Sujong gets used to a weight in his arms,cold feet and hands on his body, after a long day of schedules and grueling vocal lessons.

The pit in his stomach burns harder now.

♬♪♫

It’s another one of those nights where Hyunjun is cuddled up against Sujong, cold hands curled around his nape, and snoring lightly into the crook of the older’s neck.

Usually, Sujong would fall asleep easily, but he has something plaguing his mind tonight.

He thinks of the burning pit in his stomach, Hyunjun’s chapped lips, and skinny hands. He thinks of Hyunjun’s small waist, bony shoulders and the sparkle that permanently resides in his eyes, the smile he stretches when he’s insanely delighted with something small, like Sujong's kitty. He thinks of the crescents that form in the boy’s eyes when he really, really smiles.

Sujong brushes his fingertips against Hyunjun’s pale, smooth face. He’s watching the moonlight hit the younger’s closed eyes, beauty radiating from the boy’s face. Soojung turns back around and forces his eyes to close, losing himself to the darkness behind his eyelids. 

 ♬♪♫

“Sujong-hyung!”, a voice exclaims, making Sujong leap up from where he was sleeping.

Sunlight is streaming down the blinds of their shared room, making Hyunjun look like some sort of angel under this lighting.

He’s met with Hyunjun, bed head and all, smiling down at him with that smile of his. Sujong smiles back.

Hyunjun keeps smiling, dark eyes sparkling like fireworks, and Sujong is on the edge, holding on to the last pieces of his sanity, grasping for straws.

The younger boy cups his cold hand on Sujong's warm cheek, and suddenly, Sujong feels like he’s having a stroke.

Hyunjun leans in closer and the other gulps a bit, knowing he’s supposed to be the older and mature one here. And so he goes for it.

The older man pins Hyunjun’s skinny wrists to the backboard of his bed, and hears the younger yelp, cheeks stained red. Hyunjun swipes his tongue against his lips, making them look wet, and that’s when Sujong cups his warm hand around the other’s pale cheek, and licks into his mouth.

The other parts his lips, letting Sujong into his mouth. He’s panting, and the older keeps at it, swiping his tongue into the other’s mouth messily.

Hyunjun sighs into the older’s mouth, starting to lose his breath. Sujong takes this as a sign to stop, and pulls away abruptly.

“Hey”, Hyunjun says, lips glossy and swollen, looking up at Sujong with those sparkling eyes, “I really like you.”

Sujong smiles, “Hi,” he sighs, “I really like you, too.”

And with that, Hyunjun nuzzles into Sujong's burning neck, and mumbles, “Thank you”.

It sounds kind of muffled, but Sujong can hear it anyway, and looks at the morning sun rays kissing the younger’s skin. 

He holds him tighter and realizes that he’s with a beautiful boy, who’s wound up in his arms. Sujong ghosts his fingertips on the cold skin of Hyunjun’s neck, watching goosebumps form on it. He smiles again. 

They watch the sun rise through the window blinds, embracing, and not giving a damn about the world around them, in euphoria.