Chapter Text
As much as Patton had wished that everything had resolved itself after he had brought Deceit back from the clutches of the dark sides, as much as he had wished that they had gone on to be one big happy family, he couldn’t have been more wrong about it. He couldn’t even lie to himself and say that things were just a little rocky, because there were times when he was in the same room as the others that Roman, as well as Logan, would either just up and leave, or they would refuse to look at him. What hurt the worst though, had to be with Virgil, he had happily watched as Virgil and Deceit professed their love.
When Deceit had been laying on the carpeted floor of the hallway after they had just narrowly escaped Despair’s clutches, he had watched as Virgil cradled Deceit’s face in his hands a look of intense worry curling over his face. Just for that worry to immediately turn to embarrassment on Virgil’s face as soon as Deceit opened his mouth and spoke.
“God I love you…” Was what the deceitful side had uttered, while his eyes had a seemingly impossible amount of wonder, Deceit looked at Virgil like he was looking at the moon and night sky like the first time. Deceit looked at him like he couldn’t believe that Virgil was kneeling there in front of him, like some dark mysterious knight in shining armor, and Virgil looked back at him.
To be honest, it was exceedingly adorable as Virgil had gripped the front of Deceit’s button up shirt, the collision of their lips had been a messy and uncoordinated one but that had seemed to make it all the better for them. As Virgil finally pulled away from the kiss, his eyes were swimming with tears, but at the same time, he had the kind of smile that at one time Patton had only been able to pull out of him.
“Do..Don’t you ever do that again you hear me? Don’t you ever leave me again.”
Another kiss sealed that promise, but all the while Patton’s ribs ached and burned when he breathed in, and as the two new lovers were professing said love Patton attempted to stand up. Just to garner the attention of the others as he finally moved.
A stare, a single solitary stare was what said it all for Patton, the burning stare from Virgil, Logan, and Roman was what had told him right then and there.
The guilt, pain, and near crushing disappointment pressed down on his chest like a heavy stone intent on crushing him. It should have been obvious at that very moment, but it took him nearly a week later to understand what that look meant.
They didn’t forgive him, even with how he had helped Deceit in the end and how he had brought him back to Virgil, they would never forgive him for what he had done in the past.
Patton gripped his pillow now, and biting into it as he heavily breathed out the moral side attempted to muffle the weary sobs that were coming up faster and faster. His ribs protested the actions, as they did with anything that required him to breathe heavily or in this case cry until he had nothing left to cry about. His entire upper torso felt like it had been placed in a vise lately, with practically everyone ignoring him, it had become impossible to make any conversation with anyone.
Even just a hello! At this point, he would take even that if it meant one of the sides would talk to him.
His fingers clenched the fabric of his pillow tighter and tighter, it physically hurt to curl up into a ball at this point, so he just laid there weeping into his feathery soft pillow, as the memories of nostalgia floated freely around him. Trying to suck him in, trying to make him stay, because if he stayed then he wouldn’t have to go back out and see how the others were ignoring him. Come to think of it-
No!
That traitorous line of thinking was one that he would not endorse again, if he stayed here then there was a good chance that he wouldn’t ever leave again, and despite it all, he was needed, Patton, Thomas’ morality was very much needed. Even if the others didn’t like him, and even if they only saw his mistake, he was a needed facet of Thomas’ mind and his critical thinking, as Logan had once told him.
He couldn’t just stay here and never go back out, as tempting as the notion was for him.
It was then that a sharp pain pinched his stomach along with a low grumbling noise, it was usually around the time that he went downstairs to get something to eat for dinner. Adjusting his schedule had taken a while, so that he didn’t accidentally intrude on the others dinner. He had made that mistake once and only once, when he had gone downstairs the moment that he had smelled something absolutely fantastic cooking. Just to find that four plates had put out.
One for Logan, one for Roman, one for Virgil, and...one for Deceit.
They hadn’t even thought about including him or even coming to get him when Roman had finished cooking, and it had hurt all the more to see what else, but spaghetti on their plates, and most likely his own recipe from his cookbook that he kept in the kitchen.
That night he hadn’t cared about the pain in his abdomen as he curled up tight, he tried to remain as silent as possible as he cried. But he had always been a loud crier when he was in any sort of pain, and now it was kind of his downfall, to be honest.
As per usual he took his time when getting up, making sure to take slow and steady breaths as he did, once he was up things went a lot smoother and a lot faster. Creaking the door slowly open, and holding the knob in the usual way so that it squeaks when returned to its original position.
Patton held his breath, listening for the sound of voices downstairs, or any of the usual sounds that came with a group of people occupying one space. Silence answered his own silence. He was good to go.
Although, his careful movements didn’t end with him shutting the door, as he made his way down the stairs, skipping the usual steps that would squeak or groan when stepped on. He would hate for any sound that he made to wake one of the others up, and then..then he’d have to deal with them looking at him, and he wasn’t sure if he could deal with that same flat stare that said nothing and everything all at once.
When he made it to the kitchen Patton felt the sigh of relief that had been pent up inside of him rush out all at once, which certainly didn’t help his sore midsection either. But it was a pain that he learned to ignore for the time being as he made his way over to the fridge.
There’s gotta be some leftovers, maybe I’ll have cereal tonight or..or I’ll cook some eggs or an omelet!
Squinting his eyes at the glare of fridge’s internal light, Patton brightened up at the methodical nature that came with just looking for something to eat. If he was cooking then it was almost like he could pretend that he wasn’t just making food for himself, that he’d have other people to eat with and that he’d get to share. Or that he wasn’t really alone right now.
“Hey…”
The suddenness of the new voice started him, making Patton raise his head abruptly thumping it against the top of the fridge before he hastily drew it back out, ignoring the throbbing of his skull as he spun back again.
The words died in his throat at the sight of Deceit, with his hand awkwardly holding his arm while he looked to the floor, Deceit was already in his pajamas. The cute silky button-up pajamas that was spotted with top hats and snakes, and Patton would have made a remark on the outfit, about how it seemed to suit Deceit, or even how the green of the base color brought out the color of the other’s snake eye. He would have, he really would have. But he felt the rubber band ball of those words lodging itself firmly in his throat, refusing to let anything pass.
Deceit must have seen the sheer nervousness on his face on his face, as he then smiled. “Virgil isn’t asleep, I didn’t just come down for a glass of water...can I not join you?” The words despite only some of them being lies, were pretty easy to decipher and the moment that he did, Patton felt his tensed up shoulders sagging in relief before he hastily nodded his head.
Watching Deceit clamber onto the counter, sitting much like Virgil usual would, warmed something inside of Patton. He was being talked to, Deceit was talking to him without giving him that stare, he had smiled at him without a hint of malice.
Deceit though, seemed to watch his every move as he cracked the eggs in the pan, adding chopped up bits of basil, chives, and parsley. Before then adding a good helping of cheese and everything else that normally went into making an omelet. Deceit’s eyes followed the movement of Patton’s hand, as he flipped the cooking egg mixture over and over a few times.
“You know…” The deceitful side eventually broke the silence between them. “I totally told you my name did I?”