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Exactly three days ago Akutagawa made a deal with Atsushi. Promising to not kill anyone for the duration of six months. By the end of it he'd come for Atsushi’s life. Dazai had offered a strange smile at the thought. Murmuring a soft, “A Mafia member who doesn't kill…” his eyes had gone cloudy and it became obvious he was no longer looking at anything or anyone in particular. He was staring off into a past Atsushi had no knowledge of. Still the look was enough for Atsushi to leave him be.
Three days ago they'd agreed to this but as Atsushi’s back hit the ground for the twelfth time that morning Atsushi was quite sure he was going to die.
Atsushi lay there, struggling to retrieve his breath as Kunikida straightened, look stern and disapproving as he glanced to his watch. Turning off the incessant beep of the timer that signaled their times end. Clicking his tongue Kunikida reached out to offer Atsushi a hand. Smiling a small defeated smile Atsushi took the offered hand, noticing not for the first time since they'd started training together how large Kunikida’s hands were.
They were bigger than his at least, and he wondered if the same could be said of Akutagawa. If there was some advantage there. To have bigger hands, a wider grasp, stronger grip, larger fist to smash into his nose, his gut, or all his openings. Kunikida said his stance was inefficient. His arms too far apart. Legs not sturdy enough. He did not hold himself anchored to the spot, instead he was like a blade of grass easily pushed and swayed by the whims of the storm. He did not stand tall and firm like a tree.
“That's enough for today,” Kunikida said, fixing his glasses that had slid down the length of his nose as he easily pinned Atsushi to the floor. “Ok.” Atsushi said, unsure of his relief and disappointment at that. At stopping so soon, but he was fortunate enough to have snagged an hour of Kunikida’s time everyday for the next six months. He had no right to complain.
Kunikida nodded and left, Atsushi following behind him, shutting the door on the training area they used to spar in. Though it was less like sparring and more like Kunikida kindly kicking his ass.
The sound of defeat left him far sooner than it had any right to. The beginnings are always hard. It's only been three days after all. Surely he'd get better at this. It just took work. Effort. Time. All of which he'd gladly devote to prolonging his life. Because it's finally worth living and Atsushi isn't about to give it up.
They sparred every afternoon from one o’clock to two. Meaning he still had half the day of filling out reports and somehow keeping Dazai from eating something he shouldn't or from jumping out the window or from irritating Kunikida so much the blonde kills Dazai himself. Though honestly that's a lost cause.
The day carried on and finished in the late afternoon. Leaving at five-thirty though wasn't so bad. Kyouka wouldn't be home yet though as she had yet to finish the mission she'd been assigned to that morning. He left with curt goodbyes to the other members before walking back to the agency dorm.
As he walked he couldn't help but notice the sun as it set, fell behind buildings and cast heavy shadows along the cars and sidewalks, orange tinting the sky and hanging in the air. Reflecting off of windows and dancing along the clouds.
Getting back to his dorm Atsushi reflexively making his way to the bathroom first, as he did per his usual routine. Kyouka was probably on her way home now so he had this small window of time in which he had the dorm completely to himself. This was always spent taking a ridiculously long shower that if Kyouka were home she would in her flat manner scold him for.
The water bill was high enough as it was but Atsushi couldn't help himself. In the orphanage bathing had been a privilege, something earned, a rarity and now Atsushi would never pass up a chance to cleanse himself. Be that of sweat or blood or both Atsushi took regular showers every day. Savoring the feeling of water rushing down his skin and slipping down the drain taking soap and dirt down with it.
Once steam had sufficiently filled the room to point it was nearly a makeshift sauna, Atsushi shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. He didn't glance to the mirror, didn't catch his eye on the reflective surface. He didn't look at himself. Didn't examine the bruises that had surely blossomed along his jawline. A mark of his failure to defend himself. A mark of weakness that he could feel buried into his skin. He didn't need the visual. He could feel it just fine.
Atsushi dressed then left the bathroom at the very same moment he heard the sound of keys being inserted in the lock. Kyouka walked in a blank look on her face. She didn't seem particularly tired after the long day she'd spent at the agency paired with Kenji on a fairly tame mission. But she seemed ready for the day to come to a close.
“Hi.” Atsushi greeted padding over to the kitchen to prepare some tea, Kyouka looking to him flatly, “Hello.”
“Welcome home.” To this she smiled softly, a slight curve to her lips that clearly conveyed how happy she felt at having a home.
***
Two weeks ago Akutagawa had made a deal with the Jinko. Right now he was seriously regretting that decision.
Mori wore a venomous smile that stretched across his features sharply. Eyes shut so as not to reveal their calculating edge. Elise laying off to the side on her belly drawing a rather gruesome scene with an array of red crayons. This sight before him settled heavily in his stomach as nervous anticipation washed over his body in waves.
Mori had just assigned him to an assassination. What. The. Fuck. He never personally assigned Akutagawa missions, 1) and 2) of course he chose now to send him on a job specifically for the sake of taking a life. Thoroughly busting the deal and yanking away the one opening Atsushi was willingly giving him. For fucks sake.
Akutagawa cleared his throat, face devoid of emotion as he said, “Sir, I will send Higuchi and a few others to handle it.”
Mori’s eyes opened, questioning sharp in his gaze and Akutagawa quickly jumped to elaborate, “As per my previous...decision to avoid...killing...I cannot personally handle this job but I can assure you it will be taken care of.” His pauses were awkward. Words themselves a broken truth that surely Mori didn't believe. His lips were still curved up but his eyes carried no mirth, not even amusement, rather there was something else. Something menacing but Akutagawa couldn't properly pinpoint what exactly it was.
The expression passed and then Mori was waving a nonchalant hand in dismissal with a sighed, “So be it,” adding sharply, “But this better not interfere with your success rate.”
There was a warning there and Akutagawa could not find a response instead nodding briskly before turning on his heel and leaving, his breath finally coming back to him once the door shut between him and the piercing edge of Mori’s gaze.
***
“Shit!” Atsushi gasped back hitting the floor once again. Kunikida held him down for a solid three seconds before standing, the resounding beep of a timer going off curling dread in Atsushi’s abdomen. Time was up for today. A month ago he'd been more sure of himself. But he'd been knocked on his ass more times than he could proudly say he properly defended himself and zero times had he gotten the upper hand.
“You seem distracted. If you don't focus your full attention on your opponent you will lose. Especially when said opponent is of bigger body mass and wider stance.” Kunikida said flicking the alarm off then stooping down to grasp Atsushi’s hand. Yanking him up with enough strength to knock him back over.
“I'm sorry.” Atsushi said once back on his feet stable enough that Kunikida saw fit to release his hand. The blonde pushed his glasses back up his nose, “What kept your mind?” He asked with a glance at his watch clearly disgruntled to be going over the sixty minute limit.
Atsushi hesitated, he didn't want to admit that the death of the headmaster was still fresh. Still bled despite the edges having been sewn back together with a thread and needle. Despite being bandaged covered up and ignored.
“I just haven't been sleeping well.” Atsushi said sheepishly. Kunukida’s sharp gaze on him not betraying the thoughts that flitted through his head.
Finally Kunikida sighed and said, “Maybe head home early to catch up then.” And Atsushi couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt at that, but nodded anyway. Accepting the offer and watching as a responding nod was given before Kunikida turned and left. Mumbling about whatever else he had planned written into his schedule and how he was two minutes and forty-five seconds late to.
When his footsteps had receded down the hall the sound of which faded then diminished completely, Atsushi’s shoulders slumped. What he'd said was half true as the ghost of that man still seemed to plague him. Hung around his bedroom at night to stare at him. Watching. Waiting. For him to finally do or become someone - thing rather - useful. Worth spending those years raising him and Atsushi couldn't help but feel as though he were utterly failing.
Shaking his head Atsushi turned to leave as well. Kunikida suggested he go home and without saying as much absolved him of further duties for the rest of the afternoon so he figured may as well not waste the time granted to him. He wouldn't be going home though. Kyouka wouldn't be there and he didn't feel like being alone with his thoughts and the glare of ghost eyes sharp and expectant.
His feet carried him to the bay where he looked out at the ocean, hardly noticing how close he was to the edge of Mafia territory. Just looking to feel a little less trapped. Looking to breathe after holding it for so long. He lost himself to the roll of waves against the shore and brush of a light breeze against his skin. Atsushi lost himself to the blue reflected off the sky and bounced off the sea and the birds that sang to each other caught in a conversation that Atsushi longed to understand.
Shutting his eyes he became lost in the nature that existed just beyond reach not privy to the footsteps that approached him.
A gruff voice drew him from his daze, “Jinko.”
Atsushi’s eyes opened but he did not allow that river of dread to drown him. Akutagawa had no intentions to hurt him, he couldn't, that would go against their agreement. But what did Atsushi know of this man to prove he wouldn't go back on his word?
“Akutagawa.” He responded, voice just as detached as the mafioso’s.
“You’re in Port Mafia territory. You're fortunate that I'm the one that found you, anyone else wouldn't have hesitated to shoot you.” Akutagawa said coming up to stand beside him, keeping a distance of five feet between them. His elbows perched on the railing that separated them from the sea.
Atsushi hummed, “I wasn't aware.”
Akutagawa nodded slowly, clearly without any clue as to how he should interact with Atsushi. He couldn't try to kill him as there were still five months left in the agreement and it's not like they could have a casual conversation when a death match stood at the end of those five months.
With a sidelong glance at the man Atsushi examined Akutagawa's profile. His expression was blank, eyebrows still and eyes not perpetually narrowed as he'd once thought. The grey of them reflected the bright blue sky and cotton ball clouds beautifully. Waves fell against the shore in a crash and such a fierce collision was mirrored in those eyes. Mirrored in his person as though such a thing was a regular occurrence inside him. Hatred and anger crashing against his heart and soul, receding then coming back even more fierce, powerful.
It was beautiful in a tragic way, the type that was a cracked imperfection.
Atsushi coughed into his palm, looking down and away from Akutagawa's unexpectedly attractive profile. The pale of his skin contrasting the deep dark of his hair as though the shadows themselves fell from his skull and in a perfect contradiction slipped into white light.
“Do not forget our agreement Jinko, it's causing me quite a deal of trouble.” Akutagawa said, words exiting his lips lazily, voice flat. Atsushi scoffed, “Oh I'm sure it's quite the inconvenience.” He said sarcastically.
Akutagawa shot him a scowl, “Quite, actually,” he snapped, “My job revolves around how well I can kill. Take that away and-” he cut himself off, fist clenching, jaw flexing as he ground his teeth to keep from saying anymore. Atsushi’s slight amusement fell away, he hadn't considered that Akutagawa may not be the only one who thought he was good for killing and that alone.
Biting his lip Atsushi stepped back, he didn't further respond because he had nothing to say so instead he left the mafioso be figuring nothing he said could be of much consequence. Deciding it was best to leave it at that before too much was revealed and Atsushi was forced to see the human in Akutagawa.
***
The next time Akutagawa sees the tiger is on the battlefield, both having been sent to capture a common enemy. Appointed by Dazai to work together and catch the bastard before he caused too much damage. Their rendezvous point having been compromised upon the Jinko’s arrival at the same place they'd seen each other last.
Bullets were shot aimlessly and unrelenting as they both moved to avoid each bullet. One of which grazed his cheek drawing blood that ran down his face like a stream of red tears. Rashoumon pierced the arm of the shooter in an instant before pulling back and finding a place in his leg. Having to hold back so much wasted time but this was the agreement. That stupid agreement.
When the man could no longer walk but the injuries sustained wouldn't kill him (at least not anytime soon..) Akutagawa moved to the next shooter.
Atsushi was much better at this in that regard, with a good whack to the head with his hands that had grown into tiger paws the men dropped like flies. Each one incapacitated with spectacular ease and quickness that Akutagawa couldn't help but growl in frustration at. Every now and then feeling a pang of irritation with every glance the man-tiger threw him. Clear distaste in his sunset colored eyes.
When each man had been taken care of the stench of blood thick in the air and groans loud they questioned one in particular who sustained few injuries. He had nothing to say but that they'd been hired with no knowledge of who exactly was paying them. Just that the job had been to take care of the two of them.
Their failure however resulted in each one frothing at the mouth as whoever it was that hired them silenced their voices before they could reveal too much. Not that they'd had all that much to begin with but the fact that they had the name of the person was enough it seemed to require immediate execution. Though they'd already known his name so the information wasn't anything they didn't already have.
Under normal circumstances Akutagawa would've killed the man himself - a favor really as the death he faced seemed like quite the painful one - but these of course were special circumstances and required a type of delicacy Akutagawa simply didn't have. Patience was a virtue and he was slowly figuring out how to do his job without breaking his agreement with the Jinko.
Ugh. How exhausting.
Their search quickly lead them to the man they'd been after who unfortunately had one extra trick up his sleeve. The fight ended with a bullet through Atsushi’s eye narrowly missing his brain and exiting through the back of his skull. Akutagawa heard himself shout, the Jinko’s name ripping from his throat painfully as he inwardly thought, not yet! You're not allowed to die yet!
Blood pooled around his head in a sort of halo as Akutagawa finished the fight, fists finding purchase on the man’s face pounding hard enough to crack cartilage and shatter bone. He didn't use Rashoumon in that moment, preferred his fists to take care of the man. He couldn't kill him after all but he could punch him till his knuckles split and his hands ached.
The man thoroughly knocked out lay sprawled along the concrete of the small warehouse they'd cornered him in. The file he'd hugged to his chest with distasteful information on the agency members as well as every Port Mafia executive held in limp fingers. The corners of the paper bloodied. The blooming crimson that escaped his body a type of compliment, fitting in an almost ironic way.
His attention quickly returned to the tiger who still lay on the ground, the healing process was slower and the blood only just stopped flowing. He knew the head bled excessively, that large amounts of blood wasn't inherently bad or cause for alarm but the large pool that the tiger currently lay in seemed deep enough to drown an infant.
His breaths were shallow and ragged and Akutagawa needed to get him some medical assistance immediately. Without further hesitation Akutagawa scooped the tiger into his arms. The Jinko’s body was heavy, dead weight in his arms. Limbs dangling uselessly as he turned to exit moving at a quick pace trying not to jostle him too much for with each rough movement the man groaned and for some reason it was a sound Akutagawa couldn't handle on top of the blood that seeped into the shoulder of his coat.
“You're not allowed to die on me yet Jinko.” Akutagawa growled. “That goes against the agreement.”
***
Atsushi had a head splitting headache for three days after the incident even after Yosano’s healing session. The pain of that still ghosting over his skin despite having occurred a week ago. But no matter he was fine now and if Akutagawa hadn't been there...he may not be. He felt grateful at Akutagawa's actions but also confused. The feelings swirling in his chest, spiraling out, mixing together and becoming indecipherable. He couldn't seem to wrap his brain around why Akutagawa helped him when all he had previously wanted to do was watch Atsushi die.
Was it that he wanted to do it himself?
“You’re distracted!” Kunikida said abruptly drawing Atsushi from his thoughts as a palm harshly pressed into the flat of his chest and laid him out on the floor. Hand still firmly pressed into his body as a choked gasp of surprise left him.
When his breath returned in an awful dizzying rush Kunikida had already stood shutting off the alarm eyes sharp on his watch determining the end of the lesson for the day. They'd started later than their usual the blonde man having taken care of a job and only just finishing an hour prior to meeting Atsushi.
“Sorry.” Atsushi said as Kunikida helped him up. He'd done better today, having knocked the blonde man off balance once and even landing a good punch that earned a slight smile from the older man. Most of the session though had consisted of him defending and trying to keep himself on his feet which up until just a few moments ago he'd managed quite well.
“You did well today. You're growing stronger. The less you rely on the strength of the beast inside you the better you’ll be at defending yourself. Tomorrow you should work on your offense. Try to land more than just one flimsy hit.” He said, the barest of amusement in his tone. The type of which was startling and left Atsushi unsure of how to respond. Kunikida was done talking though and didn't wait for a response leaving the room before Atsushi could say anything more.
Atsushi inhaled, held it, exhaled. The room was stuffy and with no reason to stay any longer Atsushi left. The sun was lazily sinking beneath the horizon, spilling oranges that bled into soft pinks which grew to lavenders across the canvas of sky. The clouds pulled into place stained with those colors. They fell into the ocean and reflected off its surface.
The water was smooth, waves gentle against the shoreline. Brushing softly against the rocks like the caress of fingertips against a cheek. He didn't know what led him back here just that he'd been drawn to the sound of water pushing and pulling against the ground beneath his feet. Had been attracted to the sun so far out of reach that fell into the sea at such a slow pace but fleeting all the same.
It was a beautiful sight and Atsushi didn't mind toeing the line between Port Mafia territory and where he stood now. Maybe he'd run into Akutagawa again. Maybe he'd get a chance to simply ask, why he'd saved him when Atsushi could've saved himself. His healing process had been slow but it had taken effect the moment that bullet pierced the first layer of his skin. It hadn't been necessary to take Atsushi to Yosano with such urgency yet he'd done it all the same.
It wasn’t until after every swathe of color had fallen away, the sun beneath the horizon replaced by the moon that shone down softly. A crescent, a smile, a cool touch that triggered the tiger within him. Woke with a growl. That Akutagawa made an appearance. Expression impassive. Posture relaxed. Hands taking refuge from the slight chill of the night in the pockets of his coat. The cloth of which stagnant but for the breeze that brushed past it. He came to a stop beside Atsushi, a five foot distance but close enough that the tiger noticed the way Akutagawa’s eyes did a brief once over his face. Grey irises lingering on the place the bullet had pierced through his head.
Atsushi almost reached up to trace the area with his fingertips despite knowing nothing was left to imply the previous injury. But the intense stare Akutagawa offered had him wondering if possibly something was left behind as evidence of the bullet that had coursed through his skull and rendered him useless for the rest of that particular mission.
“This is Port Mafia territory Jinko, I need not remind you that no one would hesitate to shoot if they saw you.” Akutagawa said turning his gaze to the ocean layed out in front them. It glimmered beneath the light of the moon that seemed to grin down at them. Her smile kind, gentle. Not like the sun that burned and smiled with flames slipping from its lips.
Atsushi snorted softly at the comment, “I like the view.”
“There are plenty of other places with views Jinko.” Akutagawa said.
“I suppose you have a point,” Atsushi replied biting his lip, eyes still trained on Akutagawa who stared resolutely at the ocean and the sky reflected off it. Akutagawa had a type of ethereal glow about him, swallowed by the moonlight, eyes glowing with a blue hue from the ocean that fell against the shore in crashes, high tide had set in. The sound of which was louder than Atsushi’s quickening heartbeat. He’d planned to ask Akutagawa about his motives for racing him to Yosano when he shouldn’t have any reason to but found the words caught in his throat and when he finally spoke they weren’t the right ones.
“Why did you come here?”
Akutagawa glanced to him, “I like the view.” he said plainly, echoing Atsushi’s own words. “Besides no one’s going to shoot at me unless they’d like to lose their-”
“Life?” Atsushi finished, a frown on his lips. Akutagawa looked to him again this time scowling, “Hand.” the mafioso corrected.
Atsushi made a face as though he were thinking over the response, deciding whether it was a decent one or not. “I suppose that’s better.” he said earning another glare from the man. Yet despite his obvious irritation Atsushi felt no malice coming from Akutagawa. It was strange to see the man not emitting anger in waves as harsh as the ones that would crash against the shore during a particularly bad storm. Yet, he found he liked the quiet company that Akutagawa offered.
Atsushi looked away from the mafioso, eyes falling on the steady buildup of another wave setting course for the rocks beneath his feet, below and beyond the railing that separated them from the sea.
They stood in silence for a long time, minutes or hours passing without notice just the steady rise and fall of the water, the touch of moonlight sparkling along the sea’s surface, sky empty of the stars hidden behind the muck accumulated by the city. It was calm, peaceful, nice, and before they split apart heading to their respective homes Atsushi had a fleeting thought as he walked the direction opposite Akutagawa.
Why can’t the peace last?
***
Another month passed by and during the duration of that thirty-days Akutagawa had found himself in the company of the Jinko more often than not. They continually met in the same place, an unspoken agreement between them to always find each other at the same place during sunset. A few times they'd even met at sunrise, both having been woken at an early hour by night terrors. Haunted by the past or voices in their heads that screamed and echoed their own voices.
It became almost routine for them to run into each other at the same place, eyes always trained on the sunset - or sunrise - a distance of exactly five feet between them. Most of the time these meetings were carried out in silence but sometimes they spoke. A light conversation murmured, lips forming short words and quiet syllables all pertaining to the same subject, the same lines.
”You’re in Port Mafia territory, it’s fortunate that I’m the one that found you. Anyone else wouldn’t have hesitated to shoot you.”
“Fortunate indeed then.”
“Why are you here.”
“The view.”
“Always the view.”
“Yes. The view.”
These things were said gently so as not to disturb the peace that settles over them within each other’s presence. The comfort of the other’s company. Different from when he’s with Gin. Comfortable in ways he never thought possible with anyone but his sister. These things were said with almost an edge of fondness. Warmth lacing each syllable said.
It was nice.
But it wouldn’t last. They both knew that. Yet it was somehow so easy to ignore that fact when Akutagawa found himself making his way to that particular part of the harbour. They were running on a limited amount of time and it would eventually run out and with each meeting Akutagawa found it harder and harder to imagine killing the were-tiger. Rather it became a jarring thought, left his stomach in knots and made his heart stutter at the idea that their meetings would end so abruptly and by his hand.
So he didn’t think about that.
He instead continued to purposely make his way to the harbour after the work day had ended, be it hours too early or too late he’d go and unsurprisingly the tiger would always be there or meet him there.
Hardly any words to be exchanged except for the usual. Said softly with an edge of fondness, always about the view and nothing else. Not the draw that he felt there, not the confusion that came after departing when the sun had set and well past the time Gin would’ve assumed he’d be home.
The first few times he’d come home late he remembers being scolded for not telling her he’d be home late. She’d been angry but calmed when he explained what he’d been doing the previous hours. Something he quickly regretted because his quiet sister instantly lost all her qualities that qualified as her as the perfect assassin and instead took on the persona of a fourteen year old girl.
She’d teased and prodded, giggled and smiled with a type of emotion he hadn’t seen her wear in years. She seemed happy and if his meetings with the tiger somehow did that for her he’d found himself even more compelled to continue their meetings. Found it even easier to ignore the impending battle that stood a mere four months away.
He ignored it now as he walked away from the Port Mafia’s building with every intention to make his way to the harbour. His movements reflex more than anything at this point. The direction familiar for his feet more so than an actual desire to see the tiger bathed in the dying rays of yellows, oranges, and pinks that cascade around him and create a glow that seems untouchable. A maximum of five feet as close as he can get, any closer and he was sure he’d burn. Eyes that soften around the edges rather than harden like they used to. Lips that lift subtly in a smile hidden behind the drop of hair that fell in thick group of off-white strands. He didn’t go for any of that. He went for the view. But now he was starting to wonder what the difference was.
“This is Port Mafia territory you know....”
***
Three months ago Atsushi made a deal with Akutagawa. The agreement stripped Akutagawa of his carelessness with life and promised a deathmatch at the end of a six month period.
Atsushi wasn’t so sure about the agreement anymore. His mind was racing with ways to get Akutagawa out of danger and to Yosano as soon as possible without completely failing the mission.
But each time he came up blank he began to care less and less about completing the job and just stopping the blood that continued to flow from the line across Akutagawa’s chest.
He wasn’t sure where exactly things had gone so wrong. Dazai had sent them out on what should've been a fairly tame mission, just a few scraps of information about Fyodor riding on its success.
But this particular person had possessed an ability. A powerful one at that, it gave him the ability to manipulate other people’s abilities. The flaw to his ability being that he couldn’t control several other abilities at one time affording Atsushi his own. That didn’t save Akutagawa though. The man upon revealing his ability turned Rashoumon on Akutagawa so fast Atsushi had been given no time to react before a black tendril was tearing through the flesh of Akutagawa's chest. He'd been dumbstruck only snapped from his daze when for the first time in a long time Rashoumon was turned against him.
Atsushi didn't know how to get them both out and as that thought set in panic began to filter through his veins. It wouldn't be so bad if he were by himself but he wasn't and Akutagawa had an injury that could potentially be fatal.
“You going to stop hiding little kitten?” The man purred, his voice echoing off the walls of the building. This one in particular was in Port Mafia territory, not too far off from the harbour that Atsushi had recently been visiting on a daily basis. This building was utilized as a storage unit, holding things ranging from weapons to drugs. It was a well hidden place that had floors dropping underground.
One of those said floors being where Atsushi hid now, in a corner holding Akutagawa to him, having done his best to create a makeshift bandage with the torn remnants of Akutagawa's shirt.
The bottom floor had been where they'd found the man and he'd turned with a malicious grin on his face. Satisfaction wrought in every line.
Atsushi looked down at the man only half conscious, muttering about how he would kill the damn bastard whose voice echoed around them. Taunting them. Laughing at them.
Atsushi bit the inside of his cheek, released it, “Wait here.” He said ignoring the warbled words that were said in response saying, “I can't understand you so I’m going to ignore you now,” and with that he stepped out of the shadows in which they had hidden. He'd need to finish this fast if he wanted to get Akutagawa to safety as quickly as possible. Abilities don’t work on this man but that's what he'd spent the last three months preparing for right?
The man in question stepped around a large stack of crates full with weapons or drugs.
He smirked. Teal eyes glinting with overconfidence, sure he'd already won this fight. But it was fairly obvious that based off this man’s physique and the way he carried himself that he relied too greatly on his ability. But it couldn't work against Atsushi if he wasn't using it.
Atsushi utilized the training he'd received from Kunikida and the fight (despite feeling longer) only lasted a handful of minutes before the man was nothing but a bloody mess, bruised and battered but not incoherent.
He could speak and Atsushi drew every last bit of information he could before foam built at the corners of his mouth and spilled out to run along his jaw.
He died almost instantaneously, whatever it was that had seeped from his lips, white and frothy had been a lethal poison that killed him quickly. Maybe he hadn't felt too much pain then.
Atsushi paid this no mind, he'd been growing used to seeing the dead and paid no further mind to the fresh corpse than he would freshly cut grass.
Akutagawa needed help and Atsushi wouldn't waste any time on the dead.
Yosano healed him. Said he'd be fine. Said he'd lost a moderate amount of blood but thankfully Atsushi had gotten him to her quickly. Fast enough that she even complained about how half the fun was gone from healing Akutagawa.
Atsushi was relieved.
***
The next time they meet is three days after that mission. His body still aching with the ghost of pain slithering along the flesh of his chest. No fresh scars struck across his chest. That doctor truly was amazing. The Jinko had gotten him to her. Had finished the mission that had gone horribly wrong and gotten him to safety.
For some reason this didn't bother Akutagawa as much as he felt it should. Didn't leave him as irritated as he thought would've been natural. It didn’t anger him, didn’t make him feel like a failure like he ought to. He’d failed to complete the mission. Had gotten himself injured and left the rest to the Jinko. He’d had to be saved and brought to safety. That should’ve been infuriating. But rather it filled him with a strange sensation, warm, fluttery, skipped his heartbeat like pebbles across a waters surface.
He didn't know what was wrong with him. Why with each thought of the tiger something strange overwhelmed him. A type of awkward feeling that stretched along his limbs and danced on his fingertips. It swelled in his chest and quickened the pace of his heart like an adrenaline rush.
It was awful. Yet….he didn't mind it so much. It was a break. Respite. From hatred and anger that would regularly plague him at the thought of the Jinko. Of Atsushi.
Akutagawa stepped into the cafe, few customers littered the space. All sitting absorbed in whatever work they'd brought with them or books they only read while sitting within these walls.
There was no line affording Akutagawa a chance to grab his regular tea quickly, the woman behind the counter only nodding at him as he stepped up to the counter. She knew what he came there for. A cup of Jasmine tea and that was it. He'd sit in the table farthest right. Placed in a corner, the large window looking out at passerby’s that he'd spend the entirety of his drink watching. Sometimes he'd have a book with him. Sometimes not. Today in particular was in the not category as his mind had been too preoccupied to remember to grab his book on the way out of his apartment.
The sun was just barely rising, mist settled on the ground, dew drops still accumulating on blades of grass. The sky still deep blue that was slowly receding, waning away with each second that passed. Paint that bled in excess and ultimately dripped away. This was one of those cafes that opened early but closed around noon.
When his tea was handed to him Akutagawa offered the woman a curt nod after passing his money across the countertop. Sticky.
Turning away he made for his table. Settling in his favorite seat, back to the door and the woman behind the counter. Face to the back wall. Eyes trained out the window. Watching as the sun shot rays of light along the sky. Colors in resemblance to a particular pair of eyes. Purple that dripped into gold.
Beautiful.
Decidedly, the moments of dawn and the last dredges of dusk were his favorite parts of the day.
He didn't care to analyze why. It wasn't the tiger though. It was the harbour. It was watching the sunrise after fretful nights. It was watching the sunset after harsh days. It was the calming roll of waves. It was the soothing breeze. It was the salt in the air.
It was not however the Jinko’s presence.
The clatter of a cup hitting the ground and splash of liquid spilling broke Akutagawa of his thoughts. Focused his grey eyes that had stared unseeingly out the window for some time. Glancing to the right he discovered the origin of the noise, or rather the person to have dropped their drink was none other than the man that was most certainly not occupying his thoughts.
He seemed flustered as he knelt down by the mess of tea splattered across the floor a bunch of napkins clenched in his fists. Quickly he set to drying the mess as the woman behind the counter simply turned away to grab a broom. The nonchalance of her movements and almost bored expression on her face suggested that she dealt with spilled tea quite often and “No, it's not that big a deal. Yes you still have to pay for it.” was heard clearly despite it being murmured softly to the very obviously embarrassed man-tiger.
Akutagawa nearly smiled at the expression. The tint to his cheeks and the way his eyes frantically jumped between the half cleaned mess and the woman brandishing the broom quite threateningly as she attempted to shoo him away from the spill so she could clean it.
Atsushi did eventually back off and allow the woman space to mop up the mess before she put said cleaning supplies away and moved to make him another cup of tea. To which he said something unintelligible, rambled what Akutagawa could only assume had been an attempt at an apology before the woman simply waved her hand. Passing him his tea and taking the money he gave her in return.
It was only then though that the man seemed to notice Akutagawa's presence. His eyes widening slowly with the realization as they fell on the mafioso. The red rose up again along his cheeks and Akutagawa thought for a moment that the man may just turn around and leave but was surprised to see the Jinko choke back his embarrassment and walk up to him. Plopping down in the seat across from him.
Silence sat untouched between them. Only disturbed by the movement of their cups to their lip. The inhales that were paced with the other’s exhales.
It was nice. Neither one speaking. Just absorbing the other’s presence. Taking comfort in not being alone but not being expected to socialize either. It was nice. Calming. Like the soft sound of rain against a roof. Like the caress of a soft breeze brushing along carrying the scent of the sea. Like the fall of color running along the sky.
He didn't want the months to pass anymore. He held no desire to reach the end of their agreement anymore.
He had no desire to hurt this man anymore.
This realization was like a slam in the gut. It left him gasping for breath. Like being stuck beneath the surface of the water. He was drowning. He couldn't breath. His lungs burned and his heart ached so painfully in his chest he wished he could tear himself open to relieve the pressure against the organ.
He tore his gaze from the outside to almost look pleadingly at the tiger who didn't seem to notice his intense stare for a long moment. He was waiting. Waiting for that spike of hatred to soak into his heart. Waiting for that stabbing jealousy that pierced his lungs.
Yet he felt none of that. He felt none of what had once come so naturally to him.
Akutagawa hated him. But not the way he used to. Not the way he was supposed to.
When Atsushi’s gaze found his he had a curious look in his eye, eyebrow cocked ever so slightly. Akutagawa ignored his inquisitive expression, turning away from the silent question in his eye and instead focusing once again on the sun as it rose higher and higher into the sky. He stared directly at the flaming sphere despite the burn that blossomed in the surface of his eyes.
Wanting to be blinded by that light rather than the light of the person beside him.
He wanted none of what overwhelmed him when he looked to the tiger.
He hated him.
There simply could be no room for anything else.
***
The six months came to end that day.
That morning Atsushi awoke he immediately felt a sense of dread wash over him. It swallowed him whole and shook his heart. The reasons however were completely different from six months prior. Six months ago he'd feared for his life. Now, he feared something else entirely.
He didn't fear losing anymore.
He feared winning.
***
Atsushi stood against the railing that separated him from the sea spread out before him. The sun had set hours ago. Kyouka was waiting for him to come home. He hadn't seen her since that morning when they'd departed their little dorm to head to work. Atsushi had been afforded extra time with Kunikida who congratulated him on his progress. Who told him he'd done well. Who was genuinely surprised when he found himself on his back, who said Atsushi’s improvement was astounding and he was sure to win.
Atsushi had thanked him. Had said he was so grateful for his assistance in the last few months. If Kunikida had picked up on the way his voice shook with nothing but fear for his heart he didn't say anything. Just wished Atsushi luck.
Six months. Their agreement had been that after six months Akutagawa would come to kill him. During those six months though he was not allowed to kill and from what Atsushi saw he'd passed with flying colors. Hopefully if anything good could come of it, Akutagawa found the value in human life. Just that could be enough.
In a few hours, or maybe a few minutes, he didn't quite know. His phone had died a long while ago and he didn't remember what time it had been the last time he checked. But he knew the day was coming to a close. Knew that mere moments stood between him and a brawl that would inevitably end with one of them going still.
Atsushi didn't expect Akutagawa to come tonight. But there was a lingering hopefulness that he would residing in his chest. A feeling that kept him out despite knowing the panic that would fall over Kyouka if he wasn't home soon.
So selfish.
He wasn't disappointed when he heard footsteps approaching him. Had gotten used to the sound of feet thudding on the concrete in slow strides and immediately picked up on the sound as per a routine that neither of them had acknowledged.
“This is Port Mafia territory you know. I'm sure my constant reminding is unnecessary at this point.” Akutagawa said coming to stand exactly five feet to Atsushi’s left. His profile obscured by the fall of Atsushi’s hair.
Atsushi frowned. Confused. Clearing his throat he said, “I like the view.”
Akutagawa hummed. The sound gruff. Rough on the edges. Yet still quiet so as not to disturb the serenity in the air.
Perhaps the day hadn't quite ended yet and much like himself, Akutagawa wasn't ready for it to either.
***
A week had passed since the end of their set agreement and he hadn't been back to the harbour since that night; before they saw each other again. Dazai had paired them together on a reconnaissance mission. One that required them both for reasons unsaid but clearly unnecessary as Dazai had felt no inclination to clue them into why he'd chosen to send them together knowing full well Akutagawa could attack him.
Despite the objections on his tongue though Atsushi had not said a word. Instead nodded dumbly before glancing to Akutagawa who wore a blank expression. Empty of any emotion to betray his thoughts on the matter. Which could be considered comforting or could be extremely concerning depending on how one looked at the situation.
It went alright, the men they'd been following and eavesdropping on had little to no useful information leaving them both frustrated by the end of it. So while they'd successfully collected new information none of it was useful or in any way helpful.
They both walked away from that frustrated. Enough so that Atsushi had forgotten completely about the agreement. About the deal and it's end. He forgot and went to the harbour as though Akutagawa would be following him or at least meet him there. But that of course was not the case.
Even after the sun had set, even after he'd watched high tide fall into low tide then rise again, even after too many hours to count had passed Akutagawa did not show. It was there in the chill of midnight that Atsushi remembered.
Oh right...he hates me again….
There had been something absolutely devastating in that thought but Atsushi had little energy to analyze why. Left the harbour exhausted and feeling guilt weigh on his shoulders for leaving Kyouka by herself at home for so long.
He'd been too tired to notice the pair of eyes that watched him from a distance, fondness and confusion swirling in grey irises.
***
Every night Akutagawa returned to the harbour. There he'd see Atsushi, though Atsushi never saw him. He'd watch the sunset cast colors on Atsushi creating a glow around him that burned, flickered like a flame. He was beautiful and Akutagawa lov-hated it. He wanted to hate it.
They continued this new sort of routine, one repeated by habit, though Akutagawa refrained from going any closer than twenty feet away, for a week. Another week of silence between them. Strange in its unfamiliarity. He'd grown accustomed to seeing and speaking with Atsushi daily and for that interaction to abruptly be cut away from him was a very jarring thing.
That was the only reason why he hadn't attacked him yet. Hadn't made good on his end of the deal as of yet. He simply wasn't ready. Not yet.
This night however, as the sun bled a deep fiery orange along the horizon Atsushi said, “Are you going to warn me about getting shot again? Am I going to have to remind you that I quite like the view?”
Akutagawa coughed into his hand, Rashoumon came to life with a purr rather than a growl as though the beast itself had grown fond of Atsushi as well. Loyalty be damned it seemed. Nevertheless Rashoumon responded easily when he sent a thin but sharp tendril to slash across Atsushi’s cheek. Right along the curve of bone. To his credit. The tiger didn't even flinch.
Akutagawa didn't have to see it to know the man was smiling. Didn't have to see it to know that he was probably grinning. Because he could hear it in his voice when he said, “So I suppose you have someone else in mind I need to be warned of?”
Rashoumon retracted in the instant it took for him to cough again and say, “Not today Jinko, not yet.” He then turned on his heel to avoid seeing the look that Atsushi no doubt spun around to offer him. No desire to see how shallow the cut along his face was because he didn't want to see that he'd hurt him at all. Didn't like the thought as it sat heavily in his stomach and weighed his mind.
He couldn't fight Atsushi yet. Not yet.
He wasn't ready.
He’d pretend a little longer that they have a little more time if the Jinko was willing to play along. And by the looks of it he seemed as content as Akutagawa himself to do so.