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"Of all the invisible forces that shape the world around us, there's none more powerful, more beautiful and more cruel than true love."
Anonymous
Sanji was pretty sure he was losing his mind.
Though probably so did the old woman who had handed him the keys to the room ten minutes ago. She had looked more than a little peeved when he asked to rent a room for an hour and even though she had immediately agreed, he could see her frown behind horn rimmed glasses and look behind his back. As she fumbled with the change she had even casually asked him if he expected company but his muttered negation seemed to have stopped her from inquiring any further. As he closed the door behind him, Sanji could hear her whispering something to the maids but the exact words never reached his ears. The silent judgment in their stares, however, told him everything he needed to know.
Given the circumstances, Sanji could not blame them for thinking the worst. A quick look in the bathroom mirror showed him a sight that would make anyone in their right mind want to keep as far away from him as possible. His eyes, puffy and bloodshot, gave him a blank, exhausted stare and the dark circles under them made him look even more deranged. His pale face partially hidden by matted blond hair looked a bit distorted under the shadows of a rapidly approaching night. When he tried to smile in an attempt to make the picture look more comforting, the mirror reflected a twisted grimace.
He walked towards the door, turned the key in the lock twice and put down a small paper bag. Its contents clinked gently against one another. Sanji regarded it with a pensive look; then turned to the window. His hand hovered over the curtains for a while as he stared at the little town around him listening to the excited chatter and laughter floating in the wind. A group of shadows was slowly gathering on the streets and he could sense a faint smell of roasted pork. Somewhere in the distance, the first notes of a popular folk tune began to play.
Nami's new green dress spun in an ample wheel as she twirled among the dancing citizens. Her smiling face framed by long red bangs looked almost otherworldly under the orange light of the roaring fire. From his side of the little square Sanji saw her reach towards Luffy and grab his arm trying in vain to pull him away from the roasted pork stand and to the dance floor but succeeding only in stretching his arm to a ridiculous degree. Her brown eyes rolled in exasperation as she let go of Luffy's hand allowing it to fly free and smack the oblivious captain on the forehead. She laughed, grabbed the seams of her long dress and jumped back into the dance, light as a breeze.
A big callused hand smacked him upside the head. Sanji winced slightly and looked up to discover a tanned face topped with moss-green hair staring at him from above.
" What the hell, seaweed head?" He stood up from his chair and glared daggers at Zoro. The swordsman's annoyed gaze lingered on him for a second; then travelled towards the dancing navigator.
" You could at least pretend you're not staring."
Sanji's sour expression turned into a smirk as he moved closer to Zoro and rested his weight against him. He felt the swordsman's arms wrapping around his waist and leaned his head back enough to whisper into his ear.
" What's wrong? Are you jealous all of a sudden?"
He felt Zoro stiffen a bit as his grip on him tightened. His voice, however, sounded as calm as ever. "Who would, idiot cook? I just hope you know it's never going to happen. You should give it up while you still can."
Sanji let out a soft sigh. He leaned his head on Zoro's shoulder and looked at the dancing crowd once again." There's nothing to give up, moss-head. Besides, Nami deserves better than any of us anyway."
Zoro rolled his eyes and threw him a glance of feigned disdain. His expression morphed into a frown as he followed Sanji's gaze towards the bonfire and the spinning shadows around it. " That doesn't stop you from staring at her, apparently."
Sanji slid out an arm from under Zoro's hold and fished out a cigarette from his pocket. He fidgeted with the lighter for a few moments and smiled as he watched Zoro do his best to ignore him. " Well, green has always been my favorite color."
He heard Zoro emit something between a grunt and a guffaw.
" Is that part of your repertoire for the ladies, love cook?" He felt him lean away from him, take a large swig from a glass and resume his position against the counter of the stand. "You might want to reconsider using that on me."
Sanji turned around to face the swordsman. The music on the town square was slowly changing its rhythm as one song flowed into another. Zoro just stood there, looking at him with an unreadable expression and for a second, Sanji could see a hint of sadness on his stony face.
A short laughter escaped his lips." You really are jealous, aren't you?"
The swordsman shifted uncomfortably as the grey eyes avoided his. Before he could say anything, Sanji wrapped his fingers around his wrist and dragged him forward.
" Come on, moss-for-brains! Dance with me! The night is still young!"
Something that almost resembled panic crossed Zoro's features as he desperately tried to wring his arm out of Sanji's grip. " Forget it! I don't dance."
Sanji grinned as he threw his arms around the green-haired man's neck." I could teach you. It'll be fun. You know what they say about good dancers…"
Zoro growled something undistinguishable as he pulled Sanji into a kiss. The swordsman's arms travelled along his spine and settled on his shoulders before gently pushing him away and taking a step backwards." No way in hell, cook! Dancing is not my thing."
Sanji held back a chuckle as he gave Zoro an appraising look." Oh, is that it? Was the great Roronoa Zoro born with two left feet?"
Zoro's eyebrows twitched as he threw him a sharp angry glance." Shut up, I bet I could beat you if I wanted to!"
Sanji slid a hand over his face and shook his head." It's a dance, not a sparring match. Do you have to turn everything into a competition?"
" That's my line, goddamnit!" Before he could do anything, the swordsman's arms enveloped him again and pulled him closer. "I already know you're a good dancer, shitty cook. You should focus on other things more. Like your personality, for example."
Sanji snickered as he settled into the warm embrace. The last notes of a slow violin-heavy song were dying in the night air and the other musicians seemed to be packing up already. The last dancers including Nami looked around disappointed, bowed profusely to one another and moved away from the square.
A loud explosion tore the night apart and was immediately followed by a choir of awed exclamations. A large flower of orange and white fireworks bloomed above their heads and slowly dissolved in the darkness. Captivated by the display of lights and color, Sanji noticed too late when a shadow separated itself from the crowd and moved behind them stopping a couple of steps behind the swordsman.
Something clicked two centimeters away from his ear. Another flash of orange and white reflected on a cold metallic surface. An equally cold voice slithered in between the exploding rounds.
" What's that, Roronoa Zoro? A pirate caught off his guard?"
Someone was standing right behind him.
Sanji was not exactly sure how he knew that but the familiar sensation was too strong to ignore now. He froze as he felt the temperature in the room drop ever so slightly. A faint smell of sea-salt floated in the air.
The hair at the back of his neck stood straight as he noticed a thin shadow reflected in the windowpane with its head cocked to the side and a long mane of dark hair covering its face. It stood there, looming over his right shoulder, so close that Sanji could feel its cold breath on his skin. His stomach dropped to his feet at the thought of just taking a step back and colliding with the dark figure that had haunted him for the last three days but he could not bring himself to move. As he peered closer, the image shifted and dissolved in the light of another round of fireworks.
His memories slipped back to the night of the festival. This night. The night that never was.
For a moment, it all came back to him. Nami dancing in a green dress, Luffy, stuffing his face with roasted pork and rubbing his very red forehead, Chopper looking at the sky in mute amazement. He remembered the smell of burning firewood, the sound of delirious laughter and his own strange euphoria when the orange and white lights illuminated the square. He remembered when a strange feeling of peace overcame him, when nothing mattered except each other's company, the bright flashes that lit up the night and the warmth of the swordsman's arms around him.
Sanji closed his eyes as his fingers clutched the frayed curtains. He was on the verge of losing his mind. For as long as he could remember, he and the green-haired pirate had been at each other's throats. Hell, the only compliment Zoro had ever given the cook was to manipulate him into being the Ball-man during the Groggy Ring game. The image of the swordsman kissing him under the fireworks burned itself in his memory and with it, came a sensation of absolute bliss. The feeling was so intense he almost felt dizzy.
He shook his head and rubbed at his already red eyes trying to pull himself together and think straight. Something or someone was clearly messing with his head ever since the Straw Hat pirates had stopped in this godforsaken town. None of this seemed right.
Then why the hell did it feel so right? Why did it feel so natural? Like it was exactly how everything was supposed to turn out.
The shadow in the windowpane was still there.
Startled, Sanji backed away from the window almost dragging the curtains with him. The image rippled on the glass and disappeared from his sight. Still panting slightly, Sanji cursed and released the frayed cloth in his grip. The smell of sea-salt was back again, tugging at an evasive memory. Something deep inside his mind stirred as a new flash of orange and white set the sky ablaze.
Something else had happened during that night. This night. The night he shouldn't, that he couldn't remember.
He slid the curtains shut and turned around.
The room was empty and cold. The weak yellow light illuminating it began to flicker as he stepped away from the window and made his way towards the brown paper bag. It had toppled over and its contents now lay in disarray on the floor. He kneeled down and picked up a crumpled sheet of paper torn out of a notebook on which a smudged list in a fluid cursive handwriting read:
Seastone to build an altar
Sanji reached out and gathered a handful of flat grey rocks scattered all over the floor. He stacked them together to form a crude structure resembling a small temple.
At the corner of his eye, a tall dark shadow moved closer. The room smelled like the sea again.
Salt to close the circle
His hand dipped into the bag and took out a leather poultice. He gave it a small shake and spilled its contents around the stone structure forming a tight white circle.
The yellow light flickered violently and went out. Outside, another firework illuminated a pair of bare feet walking soundlessly across the floor leaving wet footprints behind.
Blood to prove your will
A small pocket knife flipped open in his hands. Sanji let out a hiss of pain as he slid the blade over his open palm and let the red liquid slowly trickle on the grey stones.
"Come and face me if you have the guts."
A cold, damp hand settled on his shoulder. A female voice let out a dejected sigh and whispered softly.
"We meet again, Blackleg."
Sanji frowned as he looked at the grey sky above him. A few drops of rain had landed on his shirt a couple of seconds ago and if the quickly gathering clouds were any indication, the weather was going to take a turn for the worse.
He stopped and scanned the darkening horizon, curling his bare toes in the wet sand. He had been walking along the beach for almost two hours now and the Thousand Sunny was a faint silhouette docked in the distance. If he hurried, he could probably make it back before the rain started.
Someone whistled behind his back. Sanji turned around to see a tall figure dressed in green and black waving at him. A large white umbrella slowly unfurled in its hands and as the distance between them grew shorter, Sanji could see a wide smile on the swordsman's face.
"I happen to have a name, you know?" He waved back and walked towards him, feeling the raindrops getting heavier. "You could use it once in a while."
Zoro's toothy grin split even wider. "I use it when it matters. Isn't that enough?"
Sanji rolled his eyes. "Right, I forgot what of a hopeless romantic you were."
He slid closer to the swordsman and settled under the umbrella. For a while, they stood in silence listening to the rain pellets slam against the fabric. As the irregular beat around them intensified, Sanji gently tugged at Zoro's sleeve making him turn around and walk back towards the ship.
"What were you doing here all alone?"
There was a strange ring to Zoro's voice than almost made him stop. Sanji looked up at the grey eyes but they never met his gaze.
"Just taking a walk. It helps me think and I was all done with lunch at the ship." He paused as he studied Zoro's expression. "What were you doing here all alone?"
The swordsman's face turned a slight shade of crimson. "I tried to find out if I could buy some decent sharpening stones here. I couldn't find any. So I headed back…"
Sanji let out a short laugh. "You got lost, didn't you?"
The crimson shade on the swordsman's face spread further, accompanied by a deepening frown. Sanji slammed an open palm against his face and pointed at the silhouette of the Thousand Sunny etched against the horizon.
"How the hell did you manage that?! The ship is right there!"
Zoro shot him a death glare. "Shut up, I wasn't lost! I was heading back when I came across this."
The swordsman's hand dipped into his pocket and fished out a small circular seashell the size of his palm. He polished it a bit, swept off the remaining sand and handed it to Sanji.
"What do you think?"
Sanji took the object between his fingers and turned it around. "Is this like the shells Usopp uses for his Dials? I doubt this one could be useful for anything like that. Looks way too fragile."
Zoro rolled his eyes. His expression turned surprisingly strained as he snatched the shell from his hands and traced a finger over the long spiral pattern running along it." No, moron! Look closely! This is exactly like your stupid eyebrow thingy! See?"
"Huh?"
Sanji bent down over the shell and followed Zoro's finger. His eyes widened a little when understanding dawned on him and he looked up staring at the swordsman in genuine surprise. "Were you trying to give me a present?"
Zoro let out an annoyed grunt and let the shell rest in Sanji's hands. "If you don't want it, just throw it away. There're probably thousands of these things lying around."
Sanji felt his lips curl up in a small smile as the grey eyes avoided his and darted around the beach like a rabbit trying to escape a hungry fox. He closed his fingers around the white shell and chuckled softly. "Well, I'll be damned. Turns out you really are a hopeless romantic."
Zoro just muttered something inaudible and walked on. Sanji slipped the small object in his pocket and followed him. He felt the smile still on his lips as he moved a little closer to the swordsman.
"Thanks, by the way. It's very thoughtful of you."
Zoro shook his head violently. "Don't even bother. It's funny what you end up paying attention to when you're stuck in a place like this."
Sanji sighed as his fingers played with the fragile seashell deep in his pocket. "No kidding. This town is boring as hell. There aren't even any decent shops around."
"That never stopped Nami."
Sanji nodded absent-mindedly. "Nami can do as she pleases. We chose her to administer our money for a reason."
"I'm pretty sure she chose herself, love cook." Zoro turned the umbrella in his hand. "I hope Yosaku and Johnny get here soon. They'll liven this place up."
Sanji remembered the two hapless bounty hunters he had met at the same time as the Straw Hat pirates. Their faces blurred in his memory but their voices ringing through the Baratie still sounded clear in his mind. They didn't give the impression of being reliable people but then again, neither did Luffy when he first met him.
He let out a long sigh and leaned into Zoro's shoulder. "What could be so important that they had to drag us to this hole of a town? Their message was cryptic as hell."
"I don't know." Zoro shrugged and let his free arm slide around the cook's waist. "I just know it always pays to have people in their line of work on your side. Even if it's idiots like these two. If they caught wind of something important, we should at least hear them out."
"I can't believe you guys used to work together." Sanji shook his head as the memories of the pirate hunters stumbling around the sea-restaurant became clearer. "You have absolutely nothing in common."
"Well, I never let details like that stop me." The grey eyes met his for a split second, then looked away again. "You'd like them. They're a riot and they get along with everybody."
The subtle ring in the swordsman's voice was growing stronger now. Sanji smiled as he realized than would be the first time he would get to talk to any of Zoro's friends outside the crew. He shook his head and curled his fingers around the tanned arm.
"Don't get so worked up about it. We'll get along just fine. And if not, we can always kick the shit out of each other until we find common ground." Sanji looked up at Zoro's somber expression and flashed a crooked smile. "It has worked before."
The green haired swordsman gave him an annoyed look and jabbed him slightly in the ribs.
"Get over yourself, cook, I'm not worried. You guys are bound to click. They're your type."
Sanji's eyebrows twitched as he slowed down the pace abruptly making the swordsman sway a little. "What type is that exactly?"
Zoro shrugged as he casually swept the sand away from his swords. "The naturally sociable one, I guess."
"I thought you guys managed to click despite that. I cannot think of anyone less sociable than you."
"Says the guy wandering off alone..." Zoro picked up the pace dragging Sanji behind him. "Come on, love cook! There's a festival tonight. Maybe this place will turn out to be interesting after all."
"Sanji?"
Usopp's voice floated somewhere far above but the cook paid it no attention. The world was slowly coalescing around him, reshaping itself in his mind as he blinked in confusion. The wooden stepladder he was leaning against was digging painfully into his spinal column and he let out a painful grunt. For a moment, he could still feel the wet sand around his toes and the cries of the gulls in his ears until a different vision yanked him away from his daze and made a chill run down his spine.
Someone was watching him.
A blurred shadow in white clothing and long black hair stood at the corner of his eye silent and unmoving. Sanji caught a fleeting glimpse of dark seaweed tangled around pale bare ankles and tiny mussels stuck the seam of the dress. As he tried to focus on it, the figure cocked its head and took a shaky step forward.
Not again...
He spun around too fast smashing his temple against the stepladder. Pain exploded at the left side of his head. He cursed under his breath violently blinking away the stars in his eyes. The dark shadow stood still for a while; then stepped backwards disappearing behind the Thousand Sunny's mast.
"Are you all right?"
The marksman's voice rang closer now. Sanji shook his head and tried to focus on Usopp's who was kneeling on the floor, his black eyes scanning him with concern.
He pulled himself up and looked around. The ship's front deck was bathed in the golden light of the evening sun. Sanji rubbed at his eyes and looked back at Usopp who was still observing him closely.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He stretched, feeling every joint in his body crack and snap. "Shit, did I fall asleep?"
"Pretty much, yes." Usopp stood up and offered him a hand which he hesitantly accepted. "You look like hell, you know that?"
Sanji stood up and leaned against the deck. His eyes darted towards the mast still searching for the blurry figure in a white dress.
"Yeah, I couldn't sleep at all today." He muttered straightening his clothes in a weak attempt to collect himself "...and yesterday."
"I know, I heard you tossing and turning." Usopp stayed quiet for a moment. "Bad dreams?"
Sanji closed his eyes. Behind his eyelids, the memories blurred together. The smell of sweat and steel polish and the taste of sake in his mouth washed over him. It came accompanied by a feeling ecstasy so pure and endless that the world faded into white.
When he opened his eyes, the shadow flashed at the corner of his eye again.
His answer came out as a strangled croak. "Good dreams."
Usopp frowned. "I don't understand..."
Sanji looked around tentatively. At the top of the stairs leading into the kitchen below the deck lay a single strand of dark seaweed. "Don't worry, me neither."
He turned away from the marksman and focused on the little town in the distance. The need to tell someone, anyone about the last three days was beginning to get unbearable now. He had considered talking to Robin about it but the every time he tried to approach the subject, he started to sound like a lunatic even to himself. But surely, Usopp was a much better choice.
He knew better than anyone what it was like to be afraid.
"I think I'm losing my marbles here."
The marksman looked at him puzzled but didn't say anything as if urging him to continue.
"Have you ever felt... divided? Like you're not entirely in one place or another?"
Usopp's frown deepened. "What do you mean?"
"Do you know what dejà vu is?"
Usopp nodded as he twisted the fishing rod that rested against the deck nervously in his hands. "The feeling that you've experienced something before?"
"Yeah, exactly." Sanji lit up a cigarette and let it hang loosely between his lips. "I don't know how to explain it but I feel like we've been here already. I keep remembering things out of the blue. Like that dress Nami just bought. I swear to God I've seen it before!"
"Maybe you saw it on a different girl?"
Sanji shook his head in frustration. "No, that's impossible! I would remember something like that!"
The marksman nodded eagerly as if he didn't doubt a single word in that statement. He tugged at the fishing rod to see if it had caught anything and turned to Sanji with a strange fire in his eyes.
"Hey, maybe you're remembering a past life! Maybe your previous incarnation used to live here or something! How cool is that?!"
Sanji shook his head again. "No, that's not it. It's not just me; I remember all of us being here. It's just… some things don't make sense. Some things..."
Zoro's smiling face under the orange and white lights in the sky flashed in his mind again. The warmth of his arms around him felt so real he could almost reach out and touch him.
"Something's not right..."
Usopp's smile vanished at the slight unexpected tremor in his voice. "What exactly?"
Sanji buried his face in his hands and curled his fingers around his bangs. The memories of the festival bubbled in his mind floating a bit closer to the surface. "I don't fucking know! Every time I try to remember..."
Something white floated in the shadows behind Usopp. A pair of pale bare feet pattered softly along the deck. Sanji froze, almost expecting the marksman to turn around to check up on the sound but the dark eyes never left his face.
A deathly white hand gripped a low hanging rope before letting go and melting away in the lengthening shadows. Sanji's cigarette quivered on his lower lip and fell into the dark water below.
Usopp was still looking at him, his expression slowly changing from intrigued to concerned again. Sanji slid a palm over his face drenched in cold sweat. "Nevermind, forget it! I just hope Yosaku and Johnny get here soon. The sooner they give us their message, the sooner we can get out of this shitty town."
"Who?"
Sanji looked up irritated. "Zoro's buddies! From his pirate hunting years? We were supposed to meet them here because they had to tell us something important!"
"Sanji..." Usopp was speaking slowly and carefully now, like he was genuinely afraid of what the cook might say next. "We're here to restock... Nothing more... Remember?"
Sanji stared at the marksman wide-eyed feeling the world slip away. "But.. there was a letter..."
"There was no letter." Usopp took a step forward. The concern on his face was quickly giving way to alarm. "I promise you, this is the first time I've seen this place and so have you." His arm settled on Sanji's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "Hey, maybe you're just tired. We've been at sea for God knows how long, sometimes your mind wanders when all you have around you is water and sky."
"Mine doesn't..."
Usopp let out a small chuckle. "Oh, really? The great Blackleg Sanji is invincible. Is that it?"
The marksman's sarcastic tone almost made him crack a smile. "I never said that."
"You don't have to. I just want to let you know that you're wrong." Usopp stepped aside and gave the fishing rod another tug. "You'll see, a short break on land will do us all a world of good. Besides, there's a festival tonight."
Sanji closed his eyes again as a sinking hollow feeling settled in his stomach. "Yes... I know."
Sanji was aware that he was staring.
On the other side of the deck, Zoro was sharpening his swords with a long whetstone, whistling some upbeat melody. Sanji had seen him pause every once in a while and throw an irritated glance in his direction but he could not bring himself to look away. Maybe, if he looked at the picture long enough, the funny, unsettling feeling in his stomach would finally make sense.
Shit, maybe he really was losing his mind. Maybe he was slowly becoming like those sailors from the stories that spent so much time at sea that they went mad whenever they stepped on dry land.
He almost hoped that he was right. At least, that meant that things would finally be back to normal when they set sail again.
A loud screeching noise caught his attention making him flinch. The whetstone slipped from Zoro's hands and flew into the supplies stacked next to him. A big yellowing sack swayed dangerously and tumbled over. Some apples rolled on the deck followed by a dog-eared book. As it bounced off the floorboards and flipped open, Sanji felt a cold hand clutch at his insides.
The shadow that had plagued him for the past three days was staring from one of the pages flapping in the wind. "What do you want, dartbrow?"
Sanji snapped out of his daze and shook his head. Zoro's grey eyes glared in his direction. "You've been standing there for almost ten minutes. Say something or go away!"
"What is that?"
His voice shook a little as he pointed at the small leather bound book. Zoro picked it up and studied it with a disinterested look on his face. "This? It's just something that Robin bought from a book shop yesterday. Local legends and lore, nothing breathtaking if you ask me."
Sanji nodded weakly, his eyes boring through the pages. "What's this one about?"
Zoro shrugged as he flipped through the pages. "The local spirits apparently. Summoning rituals and all that creepy stuff she likes for whatever reason." He looked up at Sanji with an annoyed expression. "What's wrong, shitty cook? Have you forgotten how to read?"
Sanji shook his head. He walked unsteadily towards Zoro and took the book from him. "Can I borrow it?"
The hand on his shoulder was still there.
Sanji remained perfectly still as another round of fireworks lit the room. His eyes glimpsed the hem of a white dress and for a second, the smell of sea-water enveloped him like a wave.
"You're real."
He breathed out the words almost as if they were a prayer. A shiver ran down his spine when a strand of long black hair brushed against his cheek.
"I'm not crazy."
His voice was quickly acquiring a ring of desperation. There was a light chuckle as the pale hand released its grip on him and slid under his chin, gently turning his head around. "Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?"
The voice that floated in the soft darkness reminded him of the murmur of the ocean. Somewhere above him, a pair of dark blue eyes regarded him with curiosity, like a cat looking at a particularly interesting mouse. He felt his mouth fall open as a tall, wispy woman dressed in a long white dress gave him a faint smile and walked in front of the small altar. The curtains on the window to her left fluttered a bit and parted in the night letting the bright explosions of the fireworks cast irregular orange hues over her body.
Sanji's voice caught in his throat as he let out a silent exclamation. "Who are you?"
The woman in front of him just smiled again and pointed to the leather bound book lying on the floor. Her face still held that expression of mild amusement but the navy blue eyes gave him a look that almost resembled pity.
"You already know who I am. Is that really what you want to ask me now?"
Sanji turned away. There was something unsettling about the beautiful creature, something that made his tongue get tied up and his mind unravel. Every question burning in his mind since their arrival in the little town spun in a frenzied dance and for a moment he did not know where to begin. When he finally opened his mouth, the words came out quiet and defeated.
"What's going on?"
The woman chuckled again. "That is an unusual question, even for a human. You called me here, you yanked me away from my home beneath the sea just to ask me what you already know?"
"I don't…!" Sanji froze mid-sentence as he realized he had almost snapped at her. He hung his head in shame and continued. "You've been following me around ever since we docked here!"
She flashed him a mocking grin baring pearl white teeth. Her black hair floated in the air as if stroked by an invisible current. "You give yourself too much credit. I've got more important things to do than follow you around."
"I've seen you."
The last words became a whisper as her eyes locked onto him again, deep and endless like the sea itself. She fell silent for a second studying his face. When she spoke again, she sounded slightly disappointed. "You just couldn't let it go, could you? I've met your type before."
Sanji's face twitched as way too familiar words escaped his lips. "What type is that exactly?"
There was an almost imperceptible change in her amused demeanor as the figure behind the altar moved closer. She looked at the blood marring the grey stones and shook her head letting long black strands float in front of her pale face.
"The relentless one. The kind that will never give up, no matter what kind of darkness is waiting for them on the other side." Her voice softened as she slowly scooped up the crude altar letting the stone collapse into a heap in her hands. "Walk away, Blackleg. Turn around and leave his room. Forget that you ever saw me and just go on with your life. It's better this way."
There was something in her tone that made Sanji shudder. Slowly, as if moving through water he stood up and looked the woman in the eye. "I can't."
The pale lips pressed together in a thin line. Her expression now looked almost intrigued. "Why not? Don't you like your life? Don't you value your friends and loved ones?"
Sanji shut his eyes and took a step back. The gentle, flowing voice was beginning to sound familiar. A shy, hesitant memory floated up from deep inside his mind and carried with it pain, anger and desperation. An orange fireball exploded in the sky and as it melted away, he smelt burning firewood and felt the warmth of strong wiry arms holding him.
The soaring, ecstatic feeling rose in his chest again. When it deflated, with nowhere to go, the pain was almost physical.
"I do." He looked at her, feeling the elusive memory growing stronger. "That's why I have to know."
The woman didn't say anything. She gently lowered her hand and dropped the round stones in her hand one by one. They disappeared in the darkness with a slight splash.
"You humans are really strange creatures. You spend your entire lives looking for happiness and when you finally find it, you waste no time in destroying it." She walked towards Sanji and laid a cold, moist hand on his cheek. "Trust me, you don't want to continue down this path. I order you to walk away. Will you refuse a woman's wish?"
Something twisted painfully in his gut when her eyes clouded. He sank his head between his shoulders letting his long bangs hide the sight.
"I'm sorry, I have to know…" The figure in front of him said nothing. "I can't stop thinking about that night. This night… I can't…"
I can't stop thinking about him.
The words never left his lips but the woman in the white dress gave him a warm look. "I knew this was bound to happen eventually. Are you sure you want to do this? Does Roronoa Zoro mean that much to you yet?"
Sanji's head snapped up. His eyes widened slightly as he felt his voice starting to break. "What do you mean yet?"
The black haired figure's eyes burned with a cold fire. She gently raised her right hand and pressed her fingers to his warm forehead.
"As you wish."
There was blood on his face.
Sanji blinked in a daze as he turned around, feeling the warm liquid make its way down his forehead and cheeks. The last round of fireworks had sounded unusually close and had nearly left him deaf. The world was still ringing slightly when the picture in front of him swam into focus and a scarred face materialized behind Zoro's shoulder. The strange empty satisfaction imprinted upon it cut through Sanji like a razorblade.
"One hundred and twenty million belly… and he just goes down like that. I feel cheated."
The words rang meaningless in his ears as he felt the swordsman's body sway slightly and slump against the counter of the stand. Zoro's head snapped to the side in an unnatural angle revealing a mess of green hair drenched in blood. Feeling his mind go numb, Sanji stepped forward, unable to look away.
"Zoro?"
His voice sounded small and weak. The exploding rounds around him drowned out the scream of the teenager serving drinks at the stand. The swordsman remained still almost as if he had fallen asleep on the spot. The grey eyes gave him a last stunned look before glazing over.
No…
He heard Nami scream in the distance as people started to turn away from them, forming an uneven circle around the fallen pirate. The fireworks fizzled out in the sky. For a moment, Sanji could see a group of people slink away in the darkness but his mind could not process anything else except the blood flowing freely from Zoro's head. A strange, empty feeling took hold of him as he looked at his own crimson-spattered clothes.
Oh, God…no…
Somewhere behind him Luffy screamed Chopper's name. Sanji let the reindeer doctor rush past feeling the world around him slowly fade into the background. His eyes darted towards the shadows disappearing in the night.
The hollow sensation in his chest melted away to become burning, unstoppable fury.
"NO!"
His own scream echoed in the dark room as he broke away from the woman's touch. He clutched his head and collapsed against a wall feeling the memories flood back in an endless stream. He remembered Luffy's devastating cry splitting the night and Chopper's horrified expression. The little reindeer's hooved hands were covered in blood as they frantically checked the green haired swordsman's vital signs and as they stopped, his little face contorted in helpless rage.
The letter was fake… It was a trap…
He remembered running through the night like the Devil himself was on his heels, searching for the scarred man. The look of sheer horror when the bounty hunter's neck snapped under his feet gave him a twisted satisfaction. He had stayed over his lifeless body, kicking his head into bloody pulp until the weight of what had just happened hit him again. The sadistic pleasure faded into shock and then, into an empty void.
He's gone… just like that… a single bullet… and he's gone forever…
His stomach churned as he gritted his teeth fighting the wave of nausea rising in his throat. The memories of the crew hunting the scarred man's accomplices through the entire town reeled in his mind. He remembered the utter despair on their faces the next day when the events finally sunk in. There were tears, rage and sorrow followed by silence so heavy and oppressing, they could barely look at each other anymore. The overwhelming guilt for laughing and having fun while one of their own lay dead a few steps away was too much for any of them to bear. He remembered leaving them behind that night and walking aimlessly towards the dark beach.
Help me…
The words just flowed out, as he knelt on the wet sand. He wasn't even sure if he had anyone to pray to but at the moment, the silent plea was something he just needed. The waves smoothed the sand around his body, bringing the sea a bit closer with every caress. Instinctively, he bowed his head as tears welled up in his eyes one more time.
Please help me…
Something white flashed at the corner of his eye. A pair of pale bare feet slowly walked towards him, dragging slimy green seaweed from the dark waters.
"You came to me"
Sanji looked up at the black haired woman. Her image shrouded in a dark mist floated before him like a long forgotten dream.
"Why…?"
The question made a faint smile appear on her lips again. "I'm a sea goddess, Blackleg. You're a man of the sea. I came because you called."
"Bring him back…" His hands curled into fists in the sand as he felt a sob rising in his chest. He shook his head furiously, fighting back the tears "I beg you! Bring him back!"
His heart dropped to his feet when she shook her head and gave him a sad look. "I can't"
Sanji hung his head, defeated. His teeth sank into his lower lip so hard he could taste blood. Anger rose in his voice when he found himself asking. "Why not?"
The woman in front of him leaned down and closed her fingers around his chin, lifting his head up. "I'm just a minor goddess, Blackleg. You overestimate my power. I control the tides, I protect the fishermen's boats. I can't bring the dead back to life."
Sanji slowly stood up. The utter hopelessness that had washed over him a second ago wavered a bit as a single light of hope flickered in the dark. "Then tell me who can."
The goddess gave him a long, pensive stare. For a while, she didn't say anything but when she spoke again, her voice carried a strange hint of sorrow.
"It's you."
"What?" Sanji felt his head spin. "That's impossible! You're a goddess! What can I do that you can't?"
The vision in front of him walked closer. Her pale skin glowed slightly under the full moon.
"I might be a goddess, yes. But there's something that surpasses even my kind's powers. An invisible tide that moves the world." She lifted her hand and pressed her cold fingers against the left side of his chest. "Do you know what I'm talking about, Blackleg?"
Sanji buried his face in his hands. His knees slowly gave way under him as he sank to the floor. The goddess cocked her head to the side, her dark eyes studying him closely.
"You remember now, don't you?"
Sanji stared at her in mute horror. Another bright orange firework lit up the goddess's dejected expression. "I tried to warn you, you know? I tried to make you forget all about it. But you just had to keep pushing…" She looked outside the window at the flowers blooming in the sky. "I took your love for each other and I spun you a new reality. Everything was left exactly like before. Except this little town. There would be no bounty hunter on your tracks. No fake letter summoning you here." She turned around with a puzzled expression on her face. "Why did you end up here anyway?"
"To restock." Sanji's voice sounded hollow as he followed the woman's gaze towards the bright lights. "I knew we've been here before. I kept noticing little things. And then there was that deal with Zoro…"
The figure in white laughed as her hand settled on his shoulder. "You're a persistent man, Blackleg. He was lucky to have you."
"Was it ever real?"
He blurted the question almost against his will. The woman in white just beckoned him to her side and reached for the latch on the windowpane. A cold wind that smelled of sea and burning firewood swept through the room. In the sky, a full moon spilled silver light over a gradually dying down festival. The Thousand Sunny, a huge black shape against the night, rocked gently as the waves lapped around its hull.
"Look around you! Do you think I could have created this with a few tumbles in the storeroom or a one-sided crush?" Sanji felt a subtle heat wave flare up his features as he turned away from him and continued. "What you gave me was the real thing. But you know that already, don't you?"
Sanji closed his eyes. The memories of him and Zoro flooded his mind and for a second, he felt the emptiness in his heart dissolve in a warm, peaceful glow. He remembered the swordsman laughing at Luffy's shocked expression when he first kissed Zoro in front of him. He remembered them fighting side by side and sharing a wide, satisfied grin after the dust had settled and whoever was foolish enough to cross them lay defeated at their feet. He remembered discovering another side to Zoro's competitive nature and the little barbed comments they would shoot at each other when they lay awake together listening to sounds of the sea. The swordsman's face imprinted itself behind his eyelids as he felt a strange, unknown feeling take hold. Not butterflies in his stomach, not admiration, not even blind lust. Just the calm, firm knowledge that he was the most important person in the swordsman's life and that the feeling was undoubtedly mutual.
Just a simple, messy, complicated friendship, set on fire.
I don't give a damn if he doesn't remember! I want him to live!
His own voice rang in his head and with it came a sharp sudden realization. He turned to the goddess in cold sweat. "It's all over now isn't it?!"
The goddess looked at him surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Our love and our bond for Zoro's life! That was the deal, right? He would be okay as long as none of us remembered what was before!" Sanji shook his head and took a step back as if trying to erase the entire conversation from his memory. "Well, I remember now! I remember everything! Doesn't that mean…?
The navy blue eyes softened. "Think about what you said. I took the bond you both shared. Even if one half of it is gone, the other remains."
"You mean if Zoro remembers…?"
"Then this reality will fade away and we will return to the beach where we stood."
"Can you make me forget again?"
The desperate ring was slowly creeping back into his voice. The woman shook her head slightly letting her long hair cover her face.
"It was your wish to know. I tried to dissuade you but you wouldn't listen to me." She turned away again, her gaze fixed on the flickering lights of the town. "You should be proud. Think of the things you have seen, all the wonders that this world has to offer! All that was built on love."
Sanji felt his shoulders slump. His exhausted mind wandered to every tiny moment in his life where he just stood dumbstruck at every oddity the Grand Line threw at him. That world felt real, just as real as the night so vividly imprinted in his memory and everything that had happened before he heard the gun click behind Zoro's head. Now, memories flowed into one another as the last remains of the dam crumbled away. How the hell was he supposed to keep them separated again?
How could he pretend that nothing had ever happened?
"What do I do now?"
The goddess walked up to him. Her thin pale hand rested on his head brushing away the long bangs. The deep eyes gave him one last meaningful look before she stepped back and let his hair slip from between her fingers.
"You live."
Any answer Sanji could have given her was interrupted by a deafening knock as the door behind him rattled on its hinges. Startled, he spun around and felt his heart slip a beat when he heard the green haired swordsman distinct growl.
"Oi, love cook! What the hell are you doing in there?"
Zoro's voice blared through the quiet night. It was followed by even more loud pounding.
Sanji turned around to find the room empty. A faint smell of sea-water still lingered in the air as the yellow light on the table flickered hesitantly and stabilized again.
"Answer me, goddamnit! Are you alive or what?"
Sanji's lips parted in a melancholic smile. His voice sounded surprisingly steady when he answered. "Yes."
"Where did you disappear to last night? You missed the festival."
The marksman's voice sounded a bit strained as he collapsed next to Sanji carrying a huge sack of potatoes that was almost twice as big as himself. He slid to the deck wiping the sweat from his forehead and threw a peeler in the cook's direction.
Sanji caught it and twirled it in his hands absentmindedly. "I've seen it before."
"What?"
Usopp's expression darkened. Sanji shook his head dismissively and fished a large brown vegetable out of the sack. "You know what I mean. You see one small town festival, you've seen them all." He slid the blade under the peel and stopped mid slice as he notices the dark eyes staring at him in suspicion. "It's no big deal. I just… got held up."
"If it's a secret, I must inform you that I'm an excellent secret keeper." He paused as if expecting the cook to continue but Sanji just kept peeling the potato, carefully avoiding his gaze. "What the hell! Did you pick someone up or something?!"
"As if that would ever happen! Have you forgotten who are you talking to?"
Zoro's condescending tone floated from the other side of the deck. The swordsman set aside his weights and threw Sanji a defiant look. "What were you doing in that place anyway? You had them all convinced you were a junkie of something like that!"
Sanji didn't answer. Zoro paused as well, his grey eyes fixed on him in slight puzzlement.
"Did you hear me, love cook?"
The swordsman's tone rose ever so slightly as if deliberately trying to provoke him into a fight. Sanji glowered. "I'm not deaf, moss-for-brains! And that's none of your business…"
He trailed off as he felt the peeler slip out of his hands. Zoro was still looking at him like a bull at a red cloth but Sanji wasn't paying attention anymore. His eyes locked on a small object between the callused fingers. A closer look made his breath hitch in his throat.
It was a flat round seashell with a swirl pattern.
"Where did you get that?"
His voice grew faint and raspy as he got up and walked towards Zoro. The swordsman gave him a confused look and shrugged.
"I picked it up on the beach on the day we arrived. I don't really remember." His expression softened a bit as he looked down on the polished white surface and traced a finger over the delicate spiral. "The things you pay attention to when you're bored out of your mind…"
He shook his head furiously as the familiar annoyed expression returning to the tanned features. He handed the seashell to him as his gaze settled on the swords lying on the deck, purposefully avoiding Sanji's. "It's yours if you want it. Looks more like your style."
The grey eyes narrowed as Sanji darted back and almost stumbled over his feet.
"Oi, what's wrong with you?"
The genuine concern in Zoro's voice sliced through Sanji like a knife. The swordsman's fingers were about to close around his wrist before he steadied himself and threw him a carefully constructed irritated look.
"Why the hell would I want something like that?" He looked at the seashell in Zoro's hand trying his best to keep a steady tone. "You should throw it away. There's probably thousands of these things lying around."
Zoro's face twitched. For a second, he just stared at Sanji with unreadable eyes before shrugging again and turning away. "Damn straight. No use in keeping useless garbage around."
He flicked the shell overboard, picked up his swords and walked up to the observation deck. As the door slammed behind him, Sanji just stood there, too stunned to react until Usopp's voice broke the silence. "Are you all right? You've gone really pale there for second."
Sanji nodded slowly as he leaned subtly against a barrel. "I'm fine…"
Usopp's dark gaze scanned him again before following Zoro's steps towards the crow's nest; then back to Sanji. "You just… you look like you've seen a ghost."
Sanji shook his head with a bitter smile. "No… not a ghost. Just a memory."