Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The familiar warmth of Newt's case was a welcome feeling after spending all day in the harsh winter cold, the cold that made her breath fog up in diminutive puffs and fingers go stiff and turn a deep crimson shade. Tina sighed contently, rejoicing in the warmth that thawed her frozen fingers. She surveyed the area, looking for her husband, and when her eyes laid on him a bright smile appeared across her face. He was near the new nundu babies; a sheen of sweat worked itself on his forehead as he tended to one of the more difficult ones. The majority were well behaved, but there was one nundu that seemed to have quite a distaste for him. Newt turned around when he heard Tina's footsteps and gave her a timid smile.

"How was work, dear?" He asked her, setting down the baby nundu in order to turn his body toward her and give her a light peck. He took note of how exhausted she looked. Newt knew, however, that she was simply worn out from the day's events; he had no doubt she'd had a work-filled day.

Tina sighed, shrugging off her coat and leaving it to hang on a nearby tree branch. "Tiring. There was a crackdown on Grindelwald's case yesterday... we think we might have a lead somewhere. How about you? Did the new baby nundu give you any trouble?"

Newt simply shook his head, embracing Tina when she was closer to him. Tina sank into the hug, finally relaxing after her tiring day at the congress. "I missed you," she mumbled into his shoulder, a true statement. It's been such a long day at work, causing her to come home much later than usual, and she would be lying if she didn't say she'd missed Newt tremendously.

Newt chuckled at her proclamation. "I missed you too, love," he said, his hand stroking her hair absentmindedly. Tina stared at the baby nundus, thinking to herself. Suddenly an image crossed her mind: an image of her holding a small child, with her hair and Newt's eyes. It was an unexpected thought, though she didn't find it intrusive. The thought merely caught her off guard, and she felt a longing she hadn't felt before.

It was Tina who broke away once the nundu started screeching again. She crossed her arms and suggested, "I think... that we should name them. The nundus, I mean."

"I think that's a lovely idea. Let's see, there's five... and three are female, so I guess I'll let you name the three."

Tina observed the occamies intently. "How can you tell if they're female or not? I don't notice any difference," she asked, her face screwed up in confusion as she placed her hand on the side of the enclosure. From below, a nundu bit into the air, trying to reach her hand.

"Well, the females are more aggressive, it's a natural instinct to protect their young. Like that one, the one that just tried to bite you, that one is a female. It's also evident by their prickers- females have more silver highlights than their male counterparts. It's all about the natural behaviour of them. It's not quite a large difference, but if you know what to spot it's rather easy to tell," Newt explained excitedly. Tina smiled to herself. Whenever Newt was talking about his creatures, she found herself happier than before. Seeing him happy made her happy. It's how she realized she loved him.

She rested her head on Newt's shoulder, and he took ahold of her hand. "You must've missed me very much," Newt said with a smile.

"Of course, but... I've also been thinking," Tina said, plucking up courage. "How would you feel, or how do you feel, about having children? Not now, but someday, of course. It's just... seeing you with the nundus got me thinking about it."

A brilliant smile spread across Newt's face. "Tina," he said, pure shock evident in his facial expression. "I've been wanting to ask you that for the last three years."

+

Tina didn't feel at all disappointed when her monthly came for the first time. They'd only been trying for two weeks- surely that wasn't enough time. Her and Newt had only just began, there was plenty of time between this month and the next for her to get pregnant.

Only the next month she wasn't either. Again, she knew it'd only been a month and a half of trying, and the idea was still fresh and exciting in her mind. But she couldn't help but begin to feel a bit disappointed. Newt consoled her, however, once she expressed these doubts. "It's only been seven weeks, love. Babies take more time than that. I've seen my creatures take years and years to conceive, and while I doubt that's the case with you, I know for some mothers, things take a tad longer. Next month," he told her, showering her with loving kisses afterward. His words lifted her spirits, but she felt troubled that he'd stated that for some creatures it had taken a profusion of years. Don't be silly, she told herself, you're not a creature.

Another month passed. Then another. Then two more, then it'd been nearly a year of trying and still nothing appeared to be happening. At this point, Tina had grown quite pessimistic about the concept of trying for and having a baby. She was starting to feel like one of the creatures he'd talked about, trying and trying but to no prevail getting what she- what they- had wanted. It was no secret Newt was absolutely dying to have children. He wanted them so badly, but even if Tina didn't know it, he wouldn't mind if they didn't have children. He had Tina, and she was enough to make him feel content.

They sat at dinner one night, both exhausted from the day's work. Newt was finishing up the fourth draft of his manuscript, and Tina had more paperwork than she had fingers. That, and the fact that she'd begun menstruation at work. She had to tell Newt and see the undeniable disappointment in his face. Tina was close to tears at that thought. She wanted this baby as much as Newt did, perhaps even more. She'd never pictured herself as a mother, even as a child, but now... now she knew that it was her greatest desire in the world. Newt cleared his throat and spoke up. "How was your day, dear?" He was cautious with his words. He could sense Tina wasn't in the greatest mood, and he knew it was more than work.

"Fine, I guess," Tina replied, staring down at her spaghetti. "Just... paperwork."

Newt frowned. "It's got to be more than that."

"I said I was fine." Tina said through clenched teeth. At Newt's look, she faltered. "I'm sorry, it's just that I..." Her eyes began to water. "I started my monthly." It was as if flood gates had open. Tears streamed down her face, and she put a hand on her head to stop it. Newt got up immediately and rushed to her side.

"No, Tina, it's okay, I understand," he said softly, crouching beside Tina's chair and grabbing her hand. "You're perfectly fine, love."

Tina looked at him through red rimmed eyes. "But I'm not. I can't even... I can't even conceive a baby for you." Another wave of tears hit her, and Tina hid her face once again. Newt gave his wife a sad look, stood up, and held her against his chest. He wasn't sad for himself, no. He was sad because his wife was. And he couldn't help but feel partly to blame.

"You don't owe me anything, Tina," Newt said, rocking Tina and kissing her forehead. "Always remember that. I just want you. You're all I need. You're all I want."

Tina stood up and embraced Newt properly. "But what if I'm not enough?"

Chapter Text

"How's my favourite little guy doing?" Tina inquired with great zeal before scooping her two-year-old nephew into a tight hug. "I missed you," she said into his ear, her voice a few grades quieter. A surge of love flew through her as James put her cheeks in his tiny hands and squeezed them together, making Tina have a very odd and, to him, a very funny facial expression. His eyes shown with glee only a small child could endure, giggling wildly as he scrunched Tina's face into odd positions. His actions were made more childishly hilarious when Tina couldn't help the spread of her cheeks that came with her smile.
"I miss you too, Aun' Teenie." The small boy said, removing his hands from her cheeks in favour of tangling his fingers in the golden locket that hung from Tina's neck. "Show me the pic-sher again!" He asked, the larger part of the locket dangling in his hands. Tina grinned at him, removing the locket from his hands as she pried it open. It opened with a click!, revealing two photographs. On the right was one of Queenie, Jacob, and James, with Queenie perched on a chair, Jacob standing behind her, the couple staring lovingly at their small son, a year younger than he was now, who was flailing his arms in the air as a gummy smile spread across his features. Beside it was a photo of her and Newt, smiling at each other on one of their more beautiful nights in Paris. The lights of the Eiffel Tower shone behind them as they embraced each other, staring into each other's eyes as they swayed to a tune neither of them could forget. James watch d as both pictures moved together, pointing at the moving photographs and exclaiming "Mama! Uncle! Jamesie!" at the respective people. Tina watched the photos as well, her heart swelling with warmth as she watched herself and Newt dance together in Paris. She was blasted out of her trance as her nephew snapped the locket shut, scooting out of her arms as he signaled for her to put him down. James giggled a gleeful laugh as his aunt set him down on the cool, wooded floor. Tina stood back up, her cheeks still flushed from where James' hands had rested. Her arm snaked around Newt's, and her smile was one only Newt or James could spark.
The rest of the family was engaged in warm welcoming, causing Tina to smile at her younger sister. "Thank you for having us," she said happily, looking at Queenie with a bright gleam in her eyes. "I'll admit, I was having a bit of a baby-deficiency!"
Newt gave Tina a slightly startled look, and Queenie immediately begun trying to read their minds; they'd both been thinking about babies quite often, more often than not. With that knowledge, Queenie set her already-made-years-ago plan to work. "Baby deficiency?" She repeated with a smirk. "That's a bit abnormal-"
"James deficiency," Tina covered quickly, looking at her feet. "James... deficiency. I wish I could see him more often, he's bigger every time I see him."
"Well, that's just the Goldstein genetics working their magic. Figuratively and literally. I mean, just look at you! At your rate, ma and pa were beginin' to wonder if you'd ever stop growin'!" Queenie answered. Tina knawed on the inside of her cheek, walking behind the blond and Newt into the dining room, where Jacob was setting the table.
"How has the bakery been?" Tina asked, changing the subject.
"Same 's usual," Jacob replied. "A little less busy though, with the economy and all. Almost had to pry some kids away from the windows." He chuckled and motioned for Newt and Tina to sit down. "How about you? How've you guys been?"
Newt smiled. "We've been good. Busy, but good." He looked at Tina warmly and grabbed her hand. "There’s a new batch of occamy hatchlings, Jacob. Descendants of yours."
The room quieted as Queenie magically dished out plates of food, Jacob staring in awe as he usually did. James giggled as a bowl was filled with soup in front of him, and Tina watched him, fighting off thoughts that wondered about her own child doing the same. It would do no good to be upset at a dinner with family. Normal chatter started up again between everybody but Tina, who instead ate quietly and observed the toddler in front of her with wonder.
Queenie noted Tina's attentiveness toward James. She had yet to read through her sisters thoughts, and figured Tina wouldn't want to have her mind raided without consent. She remembered earlier about how Newt and Tina had had children on their mind, and began to speak. "Have you guys thought about havin' kids yet?" She asked, looking at her sister.
The sudden question caught Tina off guard, and she froze. What could she say? She looked at Newt, her face pleading. He cleared his throat and squeezed her hand. "We've discussed it," he answered. "But we wouldn't mind waiting a few years, given the events going on in the muggle world. These are... difficult times to begin with, let alone to bear a child in. Someday, though."
Both Queenie and Jacob agreed, and it was the end of that conversation. Everyone had finished only moments after, and Queenie turned to face her son, immediately becoming flushed with worry. "Oh, James. You've made a mess of yourself. Let's go get you cleaned up."
"I can do it," Tina said quickly, her chair squeaking as she stood up. "I wouldn't mind helping, I mean."
It was then that Queenie realized something was wrong. As much as it pained her not to look into her sisters mind, she didn't. She'd tell her when the time was right. She smiled at her sister then. "Alright," she said. "His room's down the hall, three doors down on the left." Tina nodded and picked her nephew up, walking down the hallway and into James' room.
+
The table quieted as Tina left, her footsteps echoing off the walls before she shut the door to her nephew's room. Newt sighed, and then Queenie was absolutely sure there was something wrong within the Scamander household. The blonde shot Newt a questioning look. "Things haven't been going too well at home," he admitted. "Tina and I... we've been trying over a year for a baby, and nothing's happened yet. It's killing me to see her this way. One mention of a baby and she... she breaks down," Newt explained. He immediately looked ten years older. "She thinks it's her fault, she won't listen to me when I tell her it's just biological timing. I don't know what to... I just want her to be happy."
It took a moment for Queenie to process this information, though her face turned instantly sympathetic. “Oh, Newt, I’m so sorry for you two. I know my questioning must not have helped, I feel so bad that I upset her. But,” Queenie held her husband’s hand and shot Newt a serious look. “She’ll be okay. Teen’s gone through much harder things than this. And you’ll get your baby soon, I just know it.”
“I know. I just wish I could do something to take her mind off of it. It kills me to see her so upset, day after day. She barely wants to, apologies for my bluntness, be intimate unless it’s to try for a baby anymore, and I… I just miss her,” Newt lamented. He was clearly distressed, and Queenie knew she had to speak to her sister to keep the couple’s relationship from further strain. These kinds of issues could destroy relationships, and while she knew neither of them would allow it to happen, she wanted to be sure. Her sister’s happiness was her first priority.
The table quieted, and they could hear James and Tina speaking in the room down the hall. However, it grew silent after awhile, and after thinking he’d heard a sniff, Newt stood up. “She’s been gone for a long while now, perhaps I should go check on her.”
“No, no,” Queenie objected, standing up in front of Newt. “I can go talk to her. It’s time James were put down for bed anyway.”
“Why don’t I go speak to her?” Jacob suggested, the third to stand up from his seat. “I’m not any use cleanin’ when you two can use your magic, and I can put James to sleep quicker than a professor their student.” Before either could object, he lurched. “Please, let me do somethin’. I wanna help her. I don’t like seein’ two of my friends sufferin’,” Jacob pleaded. Queenie glanced between her husband and Newt before nodding.
“Yes, Jacob. You may go and comfort her, then put James to bed. Newt ‘nd I will clean up the dishes. Won’t we, Newt?”
One could never say no to a Legilimens.
+
Tina didn’t know how it happened. One moment, she was observing her nephew, who’d quickly tired himself out and fallen asleep, the next, her eyes were filled with tears and she could hardly contain her sobs. Her thoughts of pity wouldn’t stop, the questions of why she couldn’t conceive winding through her mind like a spindle on a spinning wheel. What was wrong with her, why wasn’t she good enough?
Newt had briefly mentioned visiting a Healer, but Tina had shut it down almost immediately. What scared her more than not being able to conceive- yet- was finding out she wasn’t able to conceive, ever.
The door behind her opened suddenly, and Tina closed her eyes, quickly wiping her eyes and pressing her hand to her forehead. "Newt, I'm not in the mood for-"
"It ain't Newt," said a deep voice. Tina turned around and realized it was Jacob who'd entered the room. Tina wiped her eyes again, trying to disguise the fact that she’d been crying. "He was tellin' me 'n Queenie about what's been happenin',” Jacob explained. “It’s not your fault, Tina. My ma was like that too, with my little brother. She’d been tryin’ for years and years, and once she was about to give up, voila. There was a bun in the oven. Now, I’m not sayin’ it’ll take you long, bt if it does, it’s totally normal.”
Tina had a newfound gratitude for her brother-in-law. “Thank you, Jacob,” she said softly. “Maybe I’m not… incompetent. Maybe I’m just not tryin’ hard enough.”
“Even if you couldn’t have a baby, that don’t mean you’re incompetent. It’s all gots to do with genetics, or somethin’ like that.”
Tina hugged Jacob. Though she didn’t feel intensely better, his words had helped cheer her up a bit. She was grateful to have his advice in her head. “Thank you, again. I’ll keep your words in mind next time I’m feelin’ like this.” They separated, and Tina shifted toward James. “Oh! He fell asleep earlier, I meant to tell you but… yes. I think it’s time Newt and I were off, now. It’s been a tough night for the both of us. Thank you, Jacob.”

Chapter Text

Tina hurried her way home, letters in hand. She'd received a few addressed to her and Newt, and though she suspected they were nothing, hearing from her loved ones was always exciting. She climbed the stairs leading to their apartment and entered the small home, warm light radiating from the kitchen. Newt was already at the stove, stirring a spoon in an herb-filled pot. Using magic was easier, but he preferred to do everything by hand. Not that Tina minded, in fact she loved that she usually didn't have to prepare dinner. "What's that?" Newt asked as she placed the letters on the table, alongside her wand. She shrugged off her blazer, revealing a white blouse before speaking, a sigh escaping her lips.

"Just a few letters," She answered, bending over to remove her shoes. Her back was sore, and she reached back to rub it before Newt's hands replaced hers. He pressed his lips to her ear.

"Was it a long day?" Newt asked, breath swooshing past her neck. She nodded, leaning into his touch. He always knew what to do after a long day of work, and on these nights in particular, Tina appreciated them even more. "I started a bath for you not too long ago, it should still be hot. Why don't you go take one while I finish dinner?" Tina smiled, turning around and kissing him. It was slow, and she rejoiced in it before pulling away, hands clutching his shirt.

"You're the best," She said, and she meant it. Newt gave her a bashful smiling before taking her hands off his chest, kissing each before dropping them to her sides.

He said, "Now go, the food will be ready when you're back." They kissed once more, and Tina turned around to enter their bathroom.

Like Newt promised, there was a warm bath waiting for her. He'd even taken it upon himself to place a few drops of lavender into the bath, so a calming aroma radiated from it. Tina looked in the mirror, observing the bags under her eyes and the lack of color in her face. She ran some cold water from the sink, splashing it onto her face before racking through her fingers through her hair. Unbuttoning her blouse took some time, as the buttons were tiny, but before long she was undressed and sinking into the tub. She sighed in relief as she did so, the water surrounding her and soothing her aching bones. Newt must've charmed the water, she mused. Sinking in further, she allowed herself to fully relax, a pleasure she rarely partook in. The smells of dinner wafted into the room, and Tina wondered how she'd gotten so lucky.

Sitting up, she swirled her hands around in the water for a short while. Then, she took the bar of soap, wet it, and began to clean herself. It was nice, she thought, but it would be much nicer if Newt were doing it for her.

(She didn't mean it in a sexual way - there had been a few instances where one or the other would bathe each other due to injuries or, in Newt's case, being absolutely covered in mud).

She continued to scrub, getting dirt out from under her nails and pouring a basin of water over herself to rinse the soap off. Most of the times, she showered, allowing herself a quick run over with soap, but not a long, relaxing wash such as this. A bath was a luxury in these times. Tina ran the bar of soap over herself again, taking care not to look at her bare stomach. One day, she told herself. There was no need to get upset after Newt had so carefully prepared this amenity for her. Tina took a deep breath and resumed her movements.

A clanging of pots sounded from the kitchen, along with the roll of a drawer, signifying Newt was setting the table. A few moments later, a soft knock came from the door.

"Dinner is ready, love," Newt called, using Tina's favorite nickname. He cracked the door open just a bit. Despite being married, Newt always waited at the door when he knew Tina was in the bathroom. "How is your bath?"

Tina squeezed excess water out of her hair, the water dripping down her back as she moved to face Newt, her arms positioned over the side of the tub. "It's perfect," She said. "I haven't washed my hair, though. It'll be a few moments." Tina reached over to grab the shampoo bottle, popping the top open.

Newt, hesitantly, asked, "Would you rather I do it? I remember last time you..." Tina nodded enthusiastically. It was like he'd read her mind. "Oh, okay. Okay... then," he stepped into the bathroom, kneeling over the bathtub. Tina wasn't embarrassed, nor was he. They were used to seeing each other naked by now, and it was something neither of them was ashamed of. Tina handed Newt the shampoo bottle and he took it, slipping only a small bit from the soap that lined the sides of the bottle. He squeezed a bit of the mixture onto his hands before rubbing them together, the shampoo foaming before he motioned for Tina to turn her head. She did, and he began to massage the soap into her hair. His hands were gentle but firm, and Tina leaned into his touch. He lifted the basin over her head, rinsing the shampoo out of her hair before grabbing the conditioner.

This time, it felt different, Tina realized. There was a buzz in the room there hadn't been before. Newt gently ran his fingers through her hair, spreading the conditioner in before moving his hands to her shoulders, allowing the product time to soak. His hands felt amazing over skin, the heat from the bath and his gentle caresses relaxing her even further. He deepened the pressure, causing her to tip her head forward and a small noise to come out of her. Newt stilled for a moment, shook his head slowly, then returned to his ministrations. Tina's muscles relaxed, and neither of them realized how long Newt had been touching her until he felt the water had grown lukewarm. "Oh," he said, his breathing heavy and his voice low. Slowly, he reached the basin and rinsed the conditioner out of Tina's hair. There was an entirely new energy in the room, one neither of them had felt in a long while. Neither of them minded it, either, when Tina turned to face Newt, and they looked at each other in a way they hadn't for a long, long while.

"I think supper can wait," She said as Newt wrapped his arms around her, taking no mind in the water dripping from her body. She stepped out of the bath, stumbling into his arms as she pressed a sloppy kiss on his lips.

"I believe so too," Newt replied, kissing her back before hoisting her up. He carried her to their bedroom and shut the door.

Chapter Text

Tina woke up first, groaning as the sunlight streamed in through the window, her eyes not yet adjusted to the intrusion. Recollections of the night before streamed back into her mind, and she covered her face as she remembered. She was briefly aware of Newt's arm draped across her chest, him snoring into the pillow beside her. A small smile graced her features, and a small part of her, as always, was praying, hoping, that this time, they'd been successful. She wouldn't know for a few weeks, so there was no point in worrying, but Tina did it anyway, every possible scenario running through her head. If she wasn't, she'd fall hopeless and sink into another depression again. They wouldn't have sex for another three months, and Newt would grow tired of her antics. Tina knew deep down that Newt would never leave her, not for that, but it didn't stop her from fearing it. If she was, they'd be ecstatic, and it'd be a miracle. They'd finally have a complete family. The thought of never feeling complete consumed her. She loved Newt, and Newt loved her, but they desperately wanted children and to raise one of their own. They wanted to experience the joys of first steps, first words, sending them off to Hogwarts, and watching as their children grew and flourished. Tina couldn't imagine a life without those experiences, but the likelihood was great, given how things were going. Her heart ached at the thought.

Newt stirred beside her, so she tried to calm herself, but her heavy breathing gave it away. He blinked in the sunlight, moving his arm to rub his face before he rolled onto his elbows and looked at her, one eye open and his hair a disheveled mess. The sheets were pulled up to his bare back, and they wrinkled as he moved. "Good morning," He said, voice still mangled with sleep. "Last night was wonderful." Tina nodded in agreement, biting her lip to keep from crying. "We should do that more- Tina? Are you alright?" His voice changed as he noticed her expression and how silent she was in the face of his musings

She mumbled out a forced "yes," her voice barely above a whisper. Newt didn't believe her. He'd known her for years, he was more than used to her emotions and how she acted when she was upset. As the months passed by, he'd cared for her more often than usual. She'd turned her head to the side, refusing to face him. "Tina," He said gently, turning to lean over her. "Tina, please, look at me. What's the matter?"

Tina wanted to hide the fact that she was upset. She told herself she shouldn't be upset. She had a husband that loved her, the job of her dreams, and a wonderful home. "I'm fine," She mumbled, though she knew she wasn't. She also knew Newt wouldn't believe her, even though she desperately wanted him to.

Newt began to put the pieces together and furrowed his brow. Guilt flooded through him as he remembered the night before, what had happened, and how Tina had been feeling for quite a while. He was quiet for a bit before, and softly, as if he'd just now understood, he whispered, "Is it about last night?" Tina bit her lip and pressed her face closer to the pillow, completely blocking herself from Newt's view. That was all the clarification he needed. "Tina," He said, voice full of remorse. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to force you into anything. I would never want to make you uncomfortable, and if I'd have known coming into the bathroom made you uncomfortable I would've refrained from going in."

Tina shot up then, not caring that her face was covered in tears. "No! No, Newt, that's not the case at all. I wanted to, I want to. Trust me, I loved last night. I did. I just can't help thinking that... that..."

"You want a baby," Newt sighed, answering for her. Shame filled her, and she knew she shouldn't torment Newt like this. It hurt him as much as it hurt her, even more so because he knew there was nothing he could do to help her. Neither of them could control the situation, and that's what hurt most. Tina nodded, eyes welling up with tears, and Newt took her into his arms. "I know, love," He said gently, running a thumb over her bare skin. "I know. I knew last time, and I knew this time." Newt felt tears rolling onto his shoulder, and Tina sniffed. His heart ached, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop her sadness. "You have to remember, this is out of our control. It's not your fault it isn't happening. Some things take time." He pulled her closer, hugging her tightly.

"It's taken so much time," Tina whispered, her voice hoarse. She was hopeless and had nearly given up. "I can't help but worry that it'll never happen, that I'll be a disappointment-"

Newt cut her off automatically, "Tina, my love." He cupped her face in his hands, looking at her with an intense gaze. "A child doesn't determine your worth. I have to admit, I do want to have children with you, but if we don't, it's more than alright. Spending my life with you is a dream in itself, it's all I've ever wanted," His voice was gentle but firm. Tina's bottom lip quivered, and he ducked his head, fighting back his own tears. “You are the strongest woman I know. We can fight through this together. I love you, and only you, and no child is going to make me feel any differently.” Tina nodded, scooting over and pulling the sheet over her chest, rubbing tears off of her splotchy face. “I just wish...” Newt started, but at the sight of her face, mangled with agony yet still so beautiful, he stopped.

Tina watched him expectantly and grew worried when he didn’t continue. “You wish what?” She asked, curiosity getting the best of her. She wasn’t sure if she wanted the answer.

Newt understood there was no going back from what he did and would say. It would be brought up eventually, some other time when she was upset again, so he sucked in a breath and said, “I wish we could have nights like yesterday and not wake up and feel like this. I want it to mean something other than trying to have a child, I want a bond between just the two of us, with no ulterior motives. It’s dreadfully selfish of me to say this, but at some point I have to.” He knew immediately that his words had hurt her, although he wasn’t trying to, because her eyes filled with fresh tears and she exhaled shakily.

“I know,” Tina answered through a sob. “I wish we could too. I miss when it meant nothing but expressing our love for one another. But every time we do, I wake up and wish, and then I can’t help but wonder what could come from it. I get confused because if it did happen, it would be amazing, but I’m so afraid of the disappointment and hopelessness that follows.” The feeling consumed her, memories of her sitting on the toilet when droplets of red fell from her, the grief she felt watching as it signified their failure. It’d been three months since their last try, and every month she prayed it wouldn’t come, that the previous period was just an accident. It never was, and they always came.

Newt bit his tongue, knowing saying anything could potentially make Tina feel worse. So he did the only thing he knew how to do and kissed her, long and hard. He pulled away when she sobbed, pressing his forehead against hers and taking hold of one of her hands, pressing his palm to her palm. “Tina,” he whispered. “I will always love you. If you want to keep trying, we will keep trying. If you want it to just be us, with no ulterior motive, then it can be. All you have to do is tell me.” He took a deep breath, and that was never good, because he was going to say something so wonderfully perfect that Tina would get confused. She didn’t stop him though, instead caressing his face and running her thumb over the stubble on his chin. Newt looked as if he were trying to remember something long ago, and Tina stared into his eyes, losing herself in their deep, captivating ocean. Finally, her husband spoke.

“The best things are forged through love.”

Chapter Text

Unusual for her, Tina returned home with a spring in her step. It was one of the rare times Tina'd arrived home in a better mood than when she left. Newt was in the kitchen preparing dinner, and she greeted him with a kiss to the cheek. There was a glow to her that Newt hadn't seen in a long while. "This is new," He said through a smile, and Tina rolled her eyes, grinning back at him. "I like it, though," He said, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her in for a kiss. He reached to stroke her hair before a white powder spread on it. "Oh," He mumbled, pulling away. "I'm sorry. I forgot to wipe my hands off."

Tina cocked an eyebrow before he pointed at the strand of hair. She pulled it in front of her eyeline and saw pure white. "Newt!" She exclaimed. "You dork!" She was laughing, though, and Newt chuckled as well as he turned to continue kneading the bread that was to be made as an accompany for the night. Tina turned to place her shoes next to the door when she saw the open package of flour on the counter behind Newt. She thought for a moment, slipped off her shoes, and walked behind Newt as if she were to search for something. Quietly, she slipped her hand inside the bag, careful not to make a sound as she grasped a handful of the soft powder.

"Hey Newt?" She called innocently, and he turned to face her.

"Wha- Oh!"

Tina had thrown a fistful of flour into his face, and the powder settled all around the room as she bent over laughing, his face snow-white and covered in flour. She kept laughing every time she looked at his face, because he was so shocked and attempting to be unbothered. Unlucky for her, Newt leaned right over and grabbed a fistful himself. "Two can play at this game," He muttered under his breath, but it was loud enough for Tina to get the warning and crawl around the island, hiding on the other side.

She crouched under it as Newt tried to figure out how to get her from behind the counter. "Don't think too hard, Scamander," She taunted, and suddenly her entire head was covered in the fluffy powder. Newt hung above her, sprawled across the island. "Not fair!" She cried, standing up and shaking her head. The entire floor was covered in flour, but neither of them minded. Tina grabbed the entire bag and thrust her hand inside, chucking large handfuls at Newt as he raised his hands and almost fell off the counter. He ripped the bag out of her hands and she screamed, covering her face and begging for mercy as he returned the flour to her face, dousing the entire room in flour.

The powder was slippery, though, and Newt began to fall off the counter as Tina stumbled over the powder, and they fell on top of each other on the floor. Tina raised herself onto her arms and stared down at her husband, disoriented and covered in flour. She burst out in hysterics, tears tracking down her face as she tried to contain her laughter. Her face was absolutely covered too, so Newt started laughing with her. The entire kitchen was covered in flour. Tina planted a kiss on Newt's lips before standing up with a sigh and outstretching a hand toward him, helping him up. "We made a mess," She sighed, and Newt agreed.

"It looks as if a blizzard blew through here," He observed. "Perhaps we should have flour battles more often."

"Hm," Tina said, grabbing onto his shirt. She leaned in, as if she were going to give him a kiss, and at the last moment transitioned and whispered into his ear, "I won, by the way."

Newt pulled away and protested, "Absolutely not! That was a draw. We fell at the same time!"

Tina shook her head as she smiled brightly. "Sure," She said as he lifted her onto the counter. "Whatever you say, Chaser."

Newt returned to rolling the dough, trying to remove the excess flour from the counters. Tina assisted him and cast a spell that cleared the mess. "You know, I would absolutely beat you in Quidditch. It's in my bones," He suggested, purposely egging her on.

"Well, obviously," Tina said, not falling for the bait and taking a bite of an apple she'd grabbed from a bowl. "Ugh," She muttered, casting the apple aside. "Tastes like flour."

Newt scoffed, and Tina smiled, watching him roll and knead the flour before putting it in a pan to bake. He then turned to her and asked, "So, what had you coming in so chipper today?"

Tina hopped off the counter as Newt walked around it, leaning against the cool surface to face her. Tina shrugged. "I dunno. Can't a girl be chipper once in a while?" She sounded more sarcastic than she wanted to, and corrected herself. "Sorry. I just had a really good feeling when I woke up this morning. That things were different."

Newt frowned. "What do you mean?" He asked as he tapped his fingers against the wood, a nervous habit. Tina shrugged again.

"Not sure. Just a good feeling. It feels like... hope, maybe. I'm not sure about what," She replied, not thinking much of it. Newt, being who he was and knowing his wife front and back, was able to put the pieces together.

"Hm. Do you think that perhaps, our... enthusiasm of late... could be... Actually, bugger that. It's not appropriate to bring that up," Newt stuttered. Ever since their prior discussion, their intimate life had improve tenfold and Tina rarely got upset about not being pregnant. He didn't want to upset her in the event topics such as babies were still sensitive in her mind.

Tina surprised him. "Actually, maybe," She said. "I still... worry, and I desperately want a child, but when I let it go, everything got new light. It took a lot of stress off me. I didn't feel the need to, in lack of better words, perform well. Because it doesn't matter."

Newt wrapped his arms around her. "Well, you always perform well," He teased, and Tina slapped his hand.

"Newt!" She gasped, but inside she wasn't offended. In fact, she was pleased at his presumption. "I do not."

Newt cleared his throat. "Perhaps," He whispered, looking at the clock. Over an hour until the bread was done. "I can prove it to you."

Tina knew what that meant and responded to him with a kiss. "I'll take you up on that offer," She said flirtatiously, batting her eyes at him. "Only if there's no flour battles."

Chapter Text

Tina woke up and instantly darted out of bed and into the bathroom adjacent to her bedroom, throwing up the previous night's dinner. Newt appeared a moment later, holding her hair back and rubbing her neck as she dry heaved into the toilet. When she finished, he tied her hair into a low ponytail and wet a washcloth, letting the cool water droplets caress her face. She sighed, sitting back as he closed the toilet and flushed it, slowly making his way back to her where she laid against the bathtub, the washcloth resting against her cheek.

"I'm sick..." she groaned, "What did we eat last night?" Her head rolled to the side so it touched his warm skin. She jerked back: it seemed to burn her face.

"Just some salad and bread, I don't think that's what made you ill," Newt said soothingly, taking away the wash cloth she was holding, causing her to protest, but then replacing it with a cooler, fresher one. "You must've caught a bug or something. It is almost flu season."

Tina sighed in response, feeling bile rising up in her throat again. Moaning, she crawled over to the toilet just in time. A wretched stink filled the room before she flushed the remainders of her stomach down the drain. "Maybe you should stay home," Newt suggested. "You just can't stop throwing up."

"No," She objected. "It's fine. I can go out to work and if I need you I'll call, okay?" She said, sweat dripping from her forehead, mixing with the water droplets from the washcloth that sat lonely on the floor. She slumped back, catching his eye, then flicking hers away.

"No, you’re not going," Newt sighed as he stood up,"I'm going to grab some medicine from my case. If you need me call and I'll come up as soon as I can." He helped Tina up, bringing on a wave of fatigue and dizziness. His lips pecked hers lightly before heading out of the bedroom to his case

Tina crawled back into bed and dozed off, but not for long.

+

Newt stared at her, a light in his eyes Tina’d never seen before flashing in them as the doctor handed him their baby. "She's beautiful," he said, tears glistening in the blue eyes Tina adored. "Is this real?" He asked, a smile on his face.

Tina giggled. "Newt, this is real. She's all ours."

He grinned, the widest grin she’d ever seen and handed her the little bundle that was so fragile. Tina found herself staring at the same bright green eyes she’d come to love every single day, the eyes that are identical to the baby’s father's. Her hair, though, is as dark as Tina’s. She was the perfect mixture of Newt and Tina, it was a wonder how it happened. Everything seemed balanced out.

The green eyes started to close as her daughter began to fuss and-

+

Tuna woke up, unable to move. If she did, it caused her to have a piercing headache. She looked at the clock on her nightstand and found it’d only been three hours since she’d laid in bed. She exhaled loudly. She missed Newt. Another wave of nausea hit, and that time she didn’t make it to the toilet. She was lucky she made it two steps away from the carpet. So then, she sat there crying, head aching, next to a mess she’d created. After the worst of it passed, Tina grabbed her wand and cleaned it all up. Walking out of the room caused yet another wave of dizziness, but she kept herself from falling by leaning on the wall. She passed a mirror in the hallway, seeing just how bad she looked. Her face was pale, but that was really it.

  When she reached the end of the hallway, she went through the archway into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. The clinking of the glasses as she pulled one out sounded like an ear shattering scream to her aching head. Slowly, she sat down on a chair. She pondered the dream she’d woken up from. It was strangely... realistic.

Newt’s case opening unexpectedly caused Tina to jump, spilling water on the table. Grabbing a few napkins, she began to wipe up all of the water but stopped when Newt walked in, red faced and covered in snow, knocking the excess precipitation off his boots before shutting the case and walking toward her. "There was a blizzard in one of the habitats because I cast the wrong charm," he explained as he took off his gloves and rubbed his hands together, bringing warmth back to his frozen fingertips.

"How are you feeling?" Newt asked. Tina shook her hand side to side, saying "so-so" without speaking. "Well, I was thinking if you feel better tonight I could make that vegetable stew and more bread, is that alright?"

Tina nodded, looking out the window at the sunlight outside. Newt frowned and walked behind her, hugging her. "What's the matter?" He pecked the top of her head, sighing when she didn’t answer him. "Tina..."

Tina stood up slowly and hugged him the right way. He kissed her forehead, and after she put her head on his shoulder. Newt began to let go, but Tina squeezed him harder. His arms went back around her until she let go and stared at him before she whispered, "Do you think it'd be possible for me to be pregnant?"

Chapter Text

"You could be," Newt said after taking a long, hard thought. He knew he had to be cautious of what he said. "We've been... more... well, what I'm saying is it would make sense." He wanted to tell her not to get her hopes up. Not because he was doubtful, but because he couldn't bear to watch Tina fall into another downward spiral.

Tina nodded, glancing out the window at the quickly setting sun. "Hm," She mumbled. Many thoughts ran through her head as another bout of nausea hit her. She closed her eyes and willed the bile to go down, prompting Newt to put a supportive hand on her shoulder.

Newt kissed her forehead and looked her in the eye. "Why don't you go lie down, and I'll start preparing dinner?" He suggested, and Tina nodded and broke out of his grip, walking toward the sofa and laying across it, turning to her side so she could watch Newt work around the kitchen. She admired his broad muscles and the way he clumsily handled everything. 

+

They stood silently, waiting for the potion to change color. Red, pregnant. Blue, not pregnant. It remained purple, the timer almost up. Sparks were to shoot out of Tina's wand when it was done, but she couldn't see anyway. She sat on the toilet with her hands on her head, anxiety coursing through her. Newt sat on the edge of the bathtub, chewing his fingernails. He wasn't anxious for the results, he didn't mind either way, because he knew the biological aspects of it, but he worried for Tina. They'd been so good, and another negative test could send Tina into a spiral. He didn't want to lose her again. Rebuilding their relationship had already been hard, but if Tina lost all hope in having children- despite Newt's constant reassurance- there would be no turning back. He loved her more than anything, and her to him, but if Tina shut him out again, there would be difficulties.

Sparks shot out of Tina's wand and Newt sighed, not looking at the vial before Tina. She felt a surge of nervousness, her stomach cramping as she removed her hands from her face. She was shaking, and Newt put a hand on her knee. "I know you're worried. No matter the circumstance, we'll be okay," He said, attempting to reassure her. She nodded, took a deep breath, and looked at the potion.

It was a bright, glorious red.

Tina nearly fell of the toilet. "Newt!" She cried, a smile bigger than any she'd ever worn before spreading across her features. "Newt, look!"

Newt glanced at the potion, heart thumping wildly. "Merlin's beard," He said quietly, a grin that matched her's spreading across his face. "Tina." He stood and picked her up, wrapping her in a tight embrace as he spun her around. "Tina, we're having a baby!"

Shining, joyous tears streamed down Tina's face as she laughed out of pure shock. She nodded, sniffling loudly and kissed her husband flat on the lips. "We did it, we're having a baby," She affirmed, and it felt as if a huge weight was lifted off her chest. All her time spent worrying felt unnecessary, they just had to wait for the right time. This was it. 

Newt held her against him tightly, his face radiating pure shock as he pressed her head to his shoulder. They rocked each other, hearts beating wildly as the reality set in and they realized all of their work finally paid off.

Chapter Text

Newt poured Tina a cup of tea, his hands still shaking. Neither could contain their smiles, and one of Tina's hands never left her belly. They'd been in the washroom so long neither had noticed the teapot whistling in the kitchen until the mixture was hot enough to need a spell to cool down. A few droplets of tea spilled down Tina's cup, and she put her fingers on the back of Newt's hand. "That's enough, thank you, Newt."

"No," Newt said, setting the teapot down before picking it back up and pouring himself a cup of tea. "Thank you Tina, for this wonderful gift." He stood up from his seat again and went to Tina's side, wrapping her in a hug. For the last hour, Newt hadn't been able to keep his eyes or hands off Tina, he was overjoyed at the news that they were finally having a baby.

Baby. The word created its own mantra in his head. Tina's too, although the shock was finally wearing off and the reality of the situation was sinking in. Her and Newt had been successful, and all the months of worrying, the tears, their fears, had been worth it. She wished she could travel back in time and tell herself everything would be okay, just like Newt had said it would be. Tina curled her hands into his hair and rested her head on his shoulder, eyes closed as she sighed into his embrace. "I couldn't have done it without you."

"Right," Newt responded, not letting go. "You're amazing, Tina, truly... you're brilliant. I love you."

"I love you too," Tina said, and she pulled her head back to observe his face. His bright eyes shone and he looked at her with pure adoration. It took no hesitation for her to lean in and kiss him.

Almost immediately, Newt stumbled backward, grabbing Tina quickly and pulling her a few steps back with him. He deepened the kiss, caressing her face as she gripped his hair. Their breathing deepened, and it took everything in Newt not to make any noise. Tina, though, had less self control. After realizing what she'd done, she pulled back and said, "Maybe we should eat first. Dinner is getting cold." Motioning to the table that had two plates of potato's and lamb, the two clumsily untangled themselves and went back to their respective chairs. Neither left enough time for proper digestion before pouncing on each other again.

With the flick of his wand, Newt had them in their bedroom where Tina’s legs hit the back of their bed. She was pulling at the hem of his shirt and he nodded, a silent answer. Tina pulled off his shirt and ran her hand over his toned muscles, and Newt mimicked her actions with her blouse, not hesitating to remove her underclothes and attach his lips to one of her breasts. Tina moaned and bit her lip, kicking off her shoes and stockings, leaving herself in just a skirt. Newt lowered her to the bed as she unbuckled his belt. “Make love to me,” she said, looking at Newt.

“Of course, my love. Yes. Definitely,”
Newt said enthusiastically. “If only this bloody thing would come off.” He was struggling with the buttons of her skirt and Tina laughed, helping him once she removed his belt. Once their clothing was off, Newt positioned himself above Tina and stroked her hair. “I love you,” he whispered to her, and Tina grew teary eyed.

“I love you too.”