Work Text:
momo whispers to the moon, sometimes.
when the light invades her room from outside, breaking the darkness and making her less scared, she smiles. the floor and walls are bathed in silver, and momo takes it as a greeting. with sleepy eyes and a hoarse voice, she speaks.
“hello, moon. want to hear my secrets tonight, again?”
the silence is inviting and momo wonders if the others would think she’s crazy for mumbling on her own. they probably already think she’s crazy for other things, so she doesn’t care.
“i fell in love with her again, today.” momo always starts with this sentence, because it never changes; it’s a loop that she’s living in, each day more exciting than the last, because she feels her heart swelling more and more. “she was wearing a pretty dress, and when the makeup unnies finished touching her up, she turned around… and i thought to myself, how is it possible? how does she look prettier each time i see her? i see her everyday…”
momo closes her eyes with a giddy stomach and gentle smile. she spreads her fingers on the mattress, sighing contently. “she joked around because i was staring, and i laughed nervously. i’m a good student, but she makes me forget korean a lot. she makes me forget japanese, too. honestly, words don’t make her justice, i think.”
her legs brush against the silky sheets, like the moon is caressing her skin in understanding.
“she hugged me when we were done performing. she likes to hug me a lot, but today she hugged me longer. i could hear her heartbeat, because my head fell right here,” momo points to her chest. “people would think about other things, right? if your head falls here. but all i thought about at that moment was how lucky i was to be alive at the same time as her.”
momo giggles groggily. “is this cheesy? i don’t know.”
she can hear cars in the streets and someone’s careful steps on the room next to her. probably chaeyoung getting ready to bed.
“she smelled nice. one day she slept on my bed, remember? i told you. i could smell her perfume on my pillow for a week.”
momo buries her head on said pillow, taking a deep breath. it’s easier to talk like this, feeling the things around her. momo has always been a touchy-feely person. “i can’t smell it anymore. i wonder if she knows how good she smells.”
momo sighs. “i almost said the words today. but it wasn’t the right time. i’m waiting for a chance… an opening, a nice atmosphere. do you think i’ll be able to say it, one day?”
no one answers, of course. still, momo waits, breathing slowly. she feels herself being dragged to the world of dreams, and the last thing she thinks about is her.
it’s always her.
“goodnight, moon.”
--
the thing is, there will never be a good moment to say it. every time momo sees her is like her heart will combust. it’s always too much, and she doesn’t know how much more of this she can take, because the words are always right there.
she just needs the courage to do it.
love, momo thinks, is for the brave.
she can do performances. those aren’t hard. it’s rehearsed steps, muscle memory, feeling the rhythm and flowing according to the beat. momo knows the beat, because it pulses through her, familiar and nice.
but this? she has no idea what to do with this.
not when nayeon is breathing heavily against the wall of the practice room, one day before their next concert, all alone with her. they’re so close. the song is looping in the back.
momo can’t even tell what song it is anymore. what is love?
i wanna know, know, know.
she wants to know.
maybe she already does.
nayeon turns to her, and they lock eyes, and it’s really all it takes, because it will never be perfect. that’s not how momo works, not with perfection. on her dance, yes. on her feelings? never.
momo jerks forward, already getting into nayeon’s space, and the older girl blinks in confusion as a grin immediately appears in her face because momo’s presence is never threatening and always welcome.
“what?”
momo shakes her head, grabs nayeon’s cheeks with the utmost care, and leans forward. she hears a gasp as their lips connect. it’s soft, momo thinks, just like her. uncertain, too. their mouths don’t move much. she should have thought this through. the fear of losing nayeon rips through her with such strength that makes her pull back, heart beating out of control.
“sorry—”
nayeon doesn’t let her finish, because she never does. she’s always one step ahead, and momo likes it, most of the time. she’s goofy, but she’s older, and a leader of sorts. she makes momo feel secure.
with nayeon kissing her back in a span of a few seconds, momo is sure that she’s never felt safer in her life. dropping everything to pursue a career in another country didn’t sound so crazy when she thought about the impulsiveness of falling for im nayeon.
they were both a little crazy, they were both a little broken.
they had each other, and their hearts were still beating, so really, things weren’t so bad.
nayeon moves back to slide her nose against momo’s cheek and whisper against her mouth. “took you long enough.”
momo can’t help but to giggle as her lips are captured again.
maybe this is love.
she can’t wait to find out.
--
“hey, moon.” momo mutters in her room that night. “i kissed her today, then i got scared, but she kissed me too, so i think things worked out.”
the soft light doesn’t say anything, like always, but momo doesn’t mind.
nayeon, however, worries about her.
“are you… talking to the moon?” she stops her ministrations on momo’s hair, fingers paused on tangled locks.
momo looks up, the crown of her head brushing against nayeon’s chin. “yeah. i tell her all my secrets.”
they just stare at each other for a moment, then nayeon breathes a small chuckle and resumes stroking momo’s hair. “you’re so cute.”
momo chuckles, and turns her head to press an open-mouthed kiss to the hollow of nayeon’s throat. “i tell her about you.” another kiss. “i think she’s sick of hearing my romantic monologues.”
“you monologue?”
“i used to,” there’s a pause, and momo shifts to lay on her elbows and hover over nayeon. “i used to tell her about you, but now i don’t have to, because i can just tell you.”
“tell me about me?” nayeon can hardly hold herself back from kissing momo numb.
“tell you about my love for you,” is all momo whispers, before her eyes fall on nayeon’s lips. “although… i think i might want to just kiss you, instead.”
it’s always like this with momo, and nayeon doesn’t know what to do with herself. so she grabs the back of her neck and pulls her down.
momo likes this better, anyway. words were never her forte.
she can just show the moon, instead.