Work Text:
"So what's it gonna be?" He folded his arms on the table and leaned in.
Jimin looked up at him, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "What do you mean?"
"This," He gestured between them, "Us. You can't honestly say this is normal."
Biting his lip, Jimin tried to switch his focus back to the book he was reading but to no avail.
He knows.
"I don't understand what you're talking about," Feigning ignorance in hopes of Jeongguk dropping the conversation then and there.
The next thing he knew, the younger's large, veiny hands reached over and closed the book on him. Jimin looked up in shock, only to find Jeongguk staring intently into his dark brown orbs. Not threatening, just almost like a curious child desperately looking for an answer.
An answer to something Jimin knows full well of.
Unable to break the gaze, Jimin found his heart pounding so hard he swore he could almost hear it in his ears, his throat going a little dry at the thought of where this conversation could go.
"Look at me in the eye and tell me it's just me who's feeling all this," the younger challenged.
He knows for sure, I can't hide anything now.
"Guk, please. I--"
"It's not just me," Jimin breath hitched at Jeongguk words -- no doubt, no questioning, he was sure.
That's the thing about Jeongguk, he's always careful with his thoughts. Nothing he says is ever hesitant nor unsure, he was someone who thought things through. Someone who's sure of what he wants in life.
But the same can't be said for Jimin.
Jimin on the other hand, indecisive and reckless, almost the complete opposite of the younger. Yet, maybe it's true, maybe opposites do attract, and so they end up here.
He contemplated for a moment, unsure of what is the right thing to say at this moment. That's just how he is, how he's always been. Always dependent on Jeongguk for reality checks and rational thoughts that he can't seem to carve for himself no matter how hard he tries and for once, he wished he still had the younger's advice on what to say but now, Jeongguk's the one that he needs advice on how to talk to.
"I don't know."
Those three words. Jeongguk hates it.
He's always had to talk some sense into Jimin when he says those words. He hates when people aren't concrete with their opinion, he hates when things aren't concrete where they should be. That's probably one of the reasons why he's always worried for the older -- he can't make decisions himself, he falters at the worst times possible and he's never really fought for anything.
Maybe that's why all Jeongguk wants now is for Jimin to be fighting for once, for him.
He knows he can't blame Jimin, he's always been like this. From the day they got to know each other, until the day he realised how hard he's falling for Jimin, and finally until now. Jeongguk adores him all the same.
He was afraid at the beginning, for sure. He's never done this before, he's never realised how much he's feeling for this one boy, and how much this intense feeling is compelling him to just do something about it. If anything, it took him all the self-control in the world to not just slot his fingers through his tiny hands every time they walked together side by side, or to just hold his small frame close when he's visibly frustrated and clearly just needs a hug.
"I'm sorry, I know how much you hate it when I say that. I don't--" Jimin's hands flew to his mouth when he realised he was doing it again.
"No, don't apologise. It's not your fault," Jeongguk retracts his hands from the book and diverts his gaze somewhere else.
He hates himself. He's always been so sure of everything, he prides himself in not doing anything recklessly because every move is so thoroughly thought through, so calculative. Yet when it comes to Jimin, his resolve always crumbles.
There was a pregnant silence between them before Jeongguk finally said, "I'm sorry. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, I don't know what came over me. Let's just, let it pass. Pretend it didn't happe-"
Before he could finish talking, Jimin reached over and wrapped his tiny hands around the younger's.
"I don't want to, Guk. I don't want to pretend that didn't happen. I can't tell you for sure, but something's definitely there. And I don't want to dismiss it anymore, now that everything's out. Just... I need some time," His voice softened as he finished his sentence.
Jimin knows how risky those words are and honestly, this is probably the most careful he's ever been with his words.
And Jeongguk sees that. He sees how much Jimin is struggling to put it out there that you know, he isn't rejecting him per se. Nothing's really set in stone either.
But maybe for once, Jeongguk is okay with that.