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2018-06-27
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Steal My Heart

Summary:

Dan hates his job, in which he works at a bank, but one day, a flirtatious man comes in who just so happens to be a burgarler. He steals £10,000 and maybe Dan's heart.

Notes:

This very short one shot was inspired by a tweet that I saw on Twitter. Anyway, I haven't written anything in what feels like years, and probably actually has been years. Last school year was busy all the time and I lost all motivation to write anything that wasn't an essay. But, anyway, I had fun writing this. It's small and short but I plan to finally write some of the oneshots that I've had in mind for literally two years.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Daniel Howell hated his job. Of course, it wasn't necessarily terrible or anything, it was just painfully boring. You see, he worked in a bank and he did nothing more than count money and make deposits and withdrawals all day. The customer service aspect wasn't always bad, there was some really nice old ladies that came in and always gave him candy from their purse, but there was still the occasion asshole that came through. It was usually middle-aged men who were bored with their wives at home that really caused a problem - they always gave him some stupid one-liner and stared at his body in the least discreet way possible.

Today, however, Dan really hated his job. He had stayed up all night writing an essay for one of his classes at Uni, making him dreadfully tired. To make matters worse, his bus left early, causing him to run down the streets of London, half asleep and tripping over everything. Then, just as he was a block away, it started raining.

By the time he got to the bank, he was damp and his hair was frizzy and he still ended up being half an hour late. Luckily, his boss was nice enough to understand, but still. He was freezing and irritated.

The rest of the morning was uneventful - just handing money back and forth over the counter and giving everyone a kind smile, which was entirely fake because how was he supposed to give a genuine smile when he was literally in his own personal Hell?

After lunch, which consisted of half a grilled chicken salad that he shared with his coworker because he forgot both his lunch and his wallet, things got a little more interesting. His boss left due to a family emergency, so he and the Grilled Chicken Salad coworker were just sitting around talking in between serving customers.

"Any plans for the weekend, Mr. Howell?" She asked casually. Her name was Lucy and she had fiery red hair that fell in curls down her back. Her skin was littered with freckles and she had a pair of gorgeous green eyes. Dan thinks she's quite a few years older than him, too. Maybe 30. He's not sure, but he knows that she has a little girl at home who is 3 years old.

"Might go home for the weekend, but I've got a lot of work for Uni, so might not." He said to her with a shrug. "How about you?"

"Oh, Sarah is having a birthday party on Saturday. Just in our back garden. She is absolutely in love with tea parties." Lucy explained. "And I know it would be no fun for a young man like you, but Sarah absolutely adores you and she wanted me to invite you. You don't have to come at all, but I promised her I would at least ask."

"Oh, she's going to be four, yeah?" Dan asked, and when Lucy nodded and smiled, he continued. "Well, that's a pretty big deal. I'll be there."

"Really? You don't have to, Dan." She said, but Dan dismissed her. He had known Sarah since she was a little over a year old because sometimes she would come to work with her mum. Dan was always scared to be around children lest he would accidentally break them or something, but after spending many afternoons with Sarah, they became pretty good friends.

It was nearing three o'clock in the afternoon when things really went to shit. More shit than Dan's terrible morning.

Three men dressed in black with balaclavas concealing their faces stormed in with guns in their hands. Dan hadn't even seen them at first because he had been checking some records for one of Lucy's clients while she was in the restroom. Of course, they soon made their presence known when one of them shouted, "Everyone except the workers out of here!"

Obviously, everyone scurried out with panic-stricken faces. Dan prayed they called the police.

"I want everyone on their knees with their hands up!" Another guy yelled. Dan, like every other worker who wished to remain alive, complied, and dropped to his knees, hands in the air beside his head. The three dispersed from the main entrance and each one took a section of the bank, one of the three stationing himself a few feet in front of Dan.

"Yeah, get down on your knees for me," the guy in front him said, smirk visible through the cutout section of the mask. The remark definitely had and underlying innuendo, but it was said almost jokingly - as though the burgurlar himself found the comment funny, but not in a degrading way toward Dan. It was different than how all the 40-year-old husbands said sexual things to him. It didn't make him feel dirty, just kind of agitated.

Not exactly sure what came over him, but Dan suddenly started feeling extremely angry. Maybe it was because he had already had an incredibly irritating day. Maybe it was because he couldn't stand the idea of anyone taking someone like Lucy's life, especially when they had a little girl at home who was excited for her 4th birthday party. Maybe it was both, but despite Dan's hatred for his job, he decided to say something in defense of it and the people inside.

"You know, you're a fucking asshole," Dan said in a slightly wavering voice to the guy in front of him. A pair of bright blue eyes locked on him and a dazzling white smile was thrown his way. Although he couldn't see any other part of this man's face due to the balaclava, Dan wanted to melt under his gaze.

"Yeah?" Blue Eyes said in a flirtatious tone. "Well, you're fucking hot, Daniel." Dan's eyes widened before he remembered he was a wearing a name tag. Then his cheeks flushed red due to the blunt compliment. His hands dropped to his side and his eyes couldn't keep contact with Mr. White Smile.

He heard a chuckle and looked back up to see that this guy was indeed laughing at him. He supposed it was a bit weird to get flustered by a criminal while his workplace was being robbed. Nevertheless, he still felt flustered.

"Okay, well, you have really nice eyes," Dan said, as though he were throwing a good comeback, not a compliment. Blue Eyes laughed again, and this time it was more than just a chuckle, because Dan could see his eyes crinkling and his tongue poking out between his teeth. Dan's chest exploded in warmth.

"Let me take you out and show you how nice everything else is." He flirted. Before Dan could even reply, someone was shouting in his direction.

"Phil!" One of the other criminals yelled. Blue Eyes, looked over, so Dan figured that must be his name. "Quit flirting with the hostage, and make him put his hands back up!"

"He's fine," Phil said, giving Dan permission to keep his hand rested against his thighs versus held up in the air.

The guy who was seemingly in charge, went to work, making Opal, a little old lady who worked at the bank, fetch him money from the vault. The bags were filled with almost 10,000 pounds by the time blue lights were flashing outside.

The group of three united again and started heading for the side door, where a silver Prius seemed to be waiting. Dan felt a small pang in his chest, knowing he was never going to see this Phil guy again, because even if they passed on the street, Dan didn't think he'd be able to pinpoint a pretty smile and pair of eyes out of a crowd.

On his way out, however, Phil turned around and pointed his gun directly at Dan, who was still sitting on his knees in the floor. Before he had time to panic about the gun, Phil was using it to motion it Dan in his direction, and saying, "C'mon. Come on!"

Dan, despite sensing that the matter was time sensitive, hesitated. In an unsure, wavering tone he said, "W-what? Why?"

"I'm taking you out, baby. Now, come on." Phil said, grinning through his mask. All the other employees were staring at Dan, mouths open and eyes wide, as he started to stand up.

It was on a whim, sure, and he realized how many things could go wrong - he could get killed (they had guns! and sure, robbery and murder are two very different things, but they had guns!), he could be badly hurt, he could be counted as an accomplice to crime. The list goes on, really. But, despite this, he just had a good feeling in his chest. The same feeling one gets right when they unexpectedly see a dog in town, or find money in the street. A good, pure feeling.

So, like that, he rushed to Phil quickly while his coworkers watched in shock and the other burgarlers teased the blue-eyed man. Phil opened the back door of the Prius and got in first, allowing Dan to halfway sit in his lap while the other two men placed themselves in the car as well - one in the passenger and one in the back beside Phil.

And like Phil had promised, everything else was as nice as his blue eyes.

Notes:

It's kind of weird writing stuff for the phandom because while I still watch Dan and Phil, I haven't written any phan stuff in over a year and I haven't really been reading phan stuff either so basically I'm just using phan so I can write some of the stories I've had in mind for so long. Anyway, I'm rambling. I hope you liked it or whatever.