Work Text:
His mother hadn’t spoken to Kellar after they’d boarded the bus, and once they returned to Wade Academy her only words for him were orders. Kellar knew what she was thinking, though—the same thing she’d been thinking since they came to Stain’d-by-the-Sea, and probably for some time before that. Now they were both staring at each other like they’d just caught the other in the middle of something bad, and he knew they were both thinking about Lizzie, and that neither of them wanted to speak first.
“Where are you going?” Sharon finally asked. “Why do you have that?” She pointed to the bag that he was holding with his things in it, which wasn’t a lot.
“I’m going back to town,” Kellar said. “I’m not coming back, so I’m taking this with me.”
“You can’t leave.”
“We can’t stay.”
Then Sharon smiled. It was an awful thing to have to see because he knew what her real smile looked like. Before a few weeks ago he’d never seen this nervous one, but since they’d arrived here it seemed to be the only thing he saw on her face, except for when she looked like she hated whoever she was speaking to, which sometimes included him.
“What about Lizzie?” Sharon asked politely.
“What about Lizzie?” He needed a moment to collect himself, because he was suddenly breathing too quickly. Sharon looked like she might say something, though, so he forced himself to talk first. “We can’t help her here. If we want to get her back, then we need to stop working with Hangfire and help other people who are trying to stop him.”
“Who?” she asked. “Your friend? We’ve already taken care of him.”
Kellar hated how she said we—they were supposed to be on the same side, him and his mother, and they were supposed to be trying to help Lizzie. But if she was putting herself on the same side as Hangfire, then she was not helping Lizzie and they were not on the same side. He also hated how she said taken care of him, and why it made him feel sick.
“What’s Hangfire going to do to him?”
“You know as well as I do,” Sharon said, which was true. After she’d finished yelling at Lemony and Ornette, he’d followed her back to the bus and listened to her tell Hangfire—and Stew, he’d noticed—that there were people working against them. She didn’t say anything about what Kellar had said to her, for probably the same reason that Kellar didn’t speak up or repeat that: because they knew as well as the other what that might mean for him.
Now that he was alone with Sharon, he felt very, very aware why he’d stayed quiet. Telling Hangfire to his face that he wasn’t going to help anymore would have been a stupid thing to do, but there was a difference between being quite because it was strategic and because he was terrified. At the time, he’d mostly been terrified. It made him insist harder to Sharon now.
“We can still do something,” Kellar said. “We don’t have to stay here. We shouldn’t be helping him.”
“This is for your sister,” she said. “You shouldn’t even be saying this.”
“We haven’t even seen her.”
“Well,” Sharon said, her voice suddenly as pleasant as her new smile, “I can ask him to show her to us.”
Kellar was going to say that they shouldn’t be arguing with Hangfire about things like being allowed to see Lizzie while Lizzie was still captured, and that Sharon hadn’t helped Lizzie by reporting to Hangfire that some of the students—or not, in Snicket’s case—were resisting. She hadn’t done Kellar a favour by not repeating what he’d said to her while she worked to make sure that everyone standing against Hangfire was destroyed. Before he had the chance to say any of this, though, the door opened and then Hangfire was right there.
Kellar felt his stomach drop. He thought of his sister and wondered if she felt as afraid as he did now.
“What happened?” Sharon asked, very formal and professional. With his mask still on, Kellar didn’t know how precisely they knew that something had gone wrong, but both Haines did know. There was an edge to Hangfire, different than what Kellar was used to—that is, the difference between an edge like how a knife looks particularly sharp when it’s being used to threaten someone, and a knife that Kellar wished he didn’t see. Hangfire was also soaking wet.
“Not everything went as planned,” Hangfire said, “but the end result was the same. A soaked book is as useless as a burnt one.”
Sharon was nodding. “I’m glad to hear it. And in the meantime…?”
Kellar was holding the bag that he’d packed more tightly. He really wasn’t carrying a lot—neither he nor his mother had brought much with them when they’d come out here. She’d told him that they wouldn’t be staying for too long; he didn’t learn about what happened to Lizzie until after they were here, and it was Hangfire who told him. Kellar didn’t know if his mother had lied to him about not being away for too long or if she’d been led to believe that they’d be able to save Lizzie quickly. It didn’t really matter. It was probably better that he didn’t have too much with him, especially now. He really hoped that Hangfire didn’t notice, because Kellar had no good reason to be carrying that.
“In the meantime,” Hangfire was telling her, “you should be looking out for the children. Keep an eye on them.”
“Yes,” Sharon said. “Okay. All the children are where they should be, back in their rooms. I’ve already brought them their dinner. They’ll be asleep soon. They won’t be a problem for tonight.”
“Except for him.” Hangfire nodded to Kellar.
“He’s with me.”
“He should be back in his room,” Hangfire said, “like the other kids.”
“We were only talking,” Sharon said. “Kellar pointed out that we haven’t seen Lizzie yet. He doesn’t quite seem to believe that she’s safe. Or that she’s here.”
Kellar could imagine how Hangfire might be looking at him, if he could see his face. It made him very uncomfortable.
“Is that so?” Hangfire asked.
There was no right answer to this question, so he just stayed quiet.
“Do you think that she’s in danger?”
Kellar shook his head.
“Speak up—do you?”
“I don’t know,” Kellar said in a very quiet voice.
“You and your mother have followed my instructions,” Hangfire said. “Why would she be in danger?”
Kellar didn’t answer, so Sharon spoke for him. “He’s worried because he doesn’t know where she is now. It’s all very silly.”
“He thinks that I’m lying.”
This wasn’t really the time point out that it didn’t matter if Hangfire was lying, because what he was doing here was completely evil and telling the truth about keeping Lizzie as a hostage didn’t make the situation any better.
“He just wants to see her,” Sharon said. “That’s all. Lizzie’s his sister.”
“I can’t show her to you now because she isn’t here,” Hangfire said. “If she was, your son have found her when he went looking through the entire school for her.”
“She isn’t here,” Kellar confirmed, unsure what else to say.
“She’s safe,” Hangfire said to Kellar. Then to Sharon, he said, “Both of your children are.”
He had the feeling that whatever Hangfire was getting at when he talked about Kellar or looked at him, like he was now, it didn’t have as much to do with Kellar as it did with Sharon—the same way that when Hangfire mentioned Lizzie it actually had very little to do with her.
“I understand,” Sharon said quickly. “He doesn’t mean to bother you with all of this. You know how kids are.”
“He should be in your room.”
“I know,” Sharon said. “But before he goes to sleep I thought that I would bring him with me. I was going to town. We didn’t seem to get enough honeydew melons today. I thought that you might want me to do something about that.”
“He should put that away.”
Kellar’s stomach sank. He forced his fingers not to wrap more tightly around the bag. “What?”
“That bag,” Hangfire said. “Why do you have it here?”
Kellar had no answer for that, but Hangfire wasn’t looking for one. “Bring it back to your mother’s room. You don’t need it to go into town.”
“I just thought…”
“You don’t need it,” Hangfire repeated. “Well? Go.”
Kellar nodded, then quickly left the room. His heart was beating far too quickly, and his breaths were coming far too short. Walking through the halls tonight reminded him a lot like when he’d gone through the entire school looking for Lizzie when they first came out here. Hangfire hadn’t been pleased about that, and Kellar had been so worried for Lizzie. Now he was worried about Lizzie, but also about himself. He worried even harder when he realised that Hangfire was in the hallway with him, that he was following him and that he was very close behind.
He just had to keep walking. What else could he do? Turn to ask Hangfire what he wanted? Of course he couldn’t do that. If Hangfire didn’t say anything to him, then Kellar would be extremely lucky. What Kellar really wanted to do now was to hide until it was safe to do something else, but it wouldn’t be safe until Hangfire was gone. He couldn’t do anything about that now, though, which frustrated him—he should be on his way back to town. The only thing that was left to do was to keep walking, so that Hangfire didn’t catch him doing anything wrong, even if he suspected that Kellar was up to something. Kellar had messed up, being seen with the bag. What he should have done was to just leave, but he’d really thought that he could convince his mother to leave with him.
Finally, he got to the room that he shared with Sharon. His hand shook when he opened the door, but soon there was a door between himself and Hangfire. His knees felt weak. He hadn’t even had the chance to sit down on the bed before he heard a loud knock, and then Hangfire was standing in the room with Kellar. It was only the two of them, and although it had been just the two of them in the hallway, this felt so much worse.
“You can’t be here now,” Kellar said without thinking.
From behind his mask Hangfire laughed, and Kellar again felt like he was sinking. He felt his arms begin to tremble, but he found himself hoping that Hangfire hurt him again. Kellar had already decided that he wouldn’t work with Hangfire anymore, even if he was threatened. As soon as he saw his chance to get out, that was exactly what he was going to do. Now that he’d decided that, he realised that he was curious whether Hangfire would actually do anything to him.
Then Hangfire spoke. “You aren’t the one who decides that.”
“I mean,” Kellar said, forcing himself to keep his voice firm even though he felt breathless and didn’t want to say anything, “I don’t know why you are here. Aren’t there more important things to take care of?”
“There are,” Hangfire said. “I wanted to make sure that you made it back here in one piece.”
“I’m here now.”
“You aren’t in bed.”
“I just got back.”
“Unpack your bag.”
“Why?”
“Why is it packed?”
Kellar’s skin felt like ice. He just wanted Hangfire leave him alone. Without a word he stood up and walked over to the dresser, dragging the bag with him. The only things in the bag were another pair of clothes and a picture of his sister. He put the picture on his desk, aware that Hangfire was looking at it, and then as quickly as he could, shoved everything else in a drawer.
“No,” Hangfire said. “No, not like that. Do it correctly.”
“How?” Kellar asked.
“Take your clothes out, and fold them properly.”
His hand shook as he reached for the drawer, but he opened it and did what Hangfire had ordered him to do. When he finished, he expected Hangfire to say something else. Hangfire remained silent. Leaving the picture of Lizzie exposed on top of the dresser had been a mistake, but he was too afraid to reach up and find a way to hide it. He didn’t want to look over his shoulder, but the more time passed that Hangfire said nothing, the more that Kellar was sure that he would have to look, and the more sure he was that what he’d see would frighten him more than he was prepared to deal with—either something else to threaten Kellar with, or his mask pulled off, revealing what evil looked like. He had to look, though, because he was convinced that Hangfire would hurt him while he wasn’t looking, or tell him something terrible.
When he did look, Hangfire was just standing there, very relaxed. Kellar knew this as surely as he’d known that there was an edge to Hangfire when he’d returned.
“Are you finished?” Hangfire asked.
Kellar nodded.
“Get in bed.”
“But my mother…”
“She can manage alone,” Hangfire said. “You don’t need to go anywhere tonight.”
Kellar understood. With unsteady legs he stood up, and very carefully made his way back to the bed, where he’d been sitting when Hangfire followed him in here. He pulled a blanket around his shoulders. Neither he nor Hangfire seemed bothered that he hadn’t changed, thankfully.
“Goodnight,” Hangfire said. The light was turned off.
Kellar was too aware that Hangfire was still in the room, but finally he heard the door open, then click shut. He hadn’t even heard Hangfire’s footsteps leave, but when he finally looked over his shoulder, just to be sure, he was grateful to find that he was alone.
The room he was kept in had a window, unlike most of the other students, but it was very tall and outside was very dark. There was nothing to see, anyway. Kellar didn’t know why he decided to look, until he saw it—the light from one of the cars idling in front of the school. He couldn’t see the driver, but he didn’t have to be close to know that it was his mother. Was she back already? It was hard to believe that—barely any time had passed since he’d come upstairs, and Hangfire would probably want to talk to her first.
It was too late to get a bus back like he’d told Snicket, but there was still a chance that he might be able to sneak out and go to town with his mother. If he did reach her, he couldn’t be sure that talking to her would be safe, and that was if he made it outside without being seen. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to try.
But the memory of Hangfire looming over him like something heavy balanced delicately over him made Kellar unwrap himself and creep across the room. The door was unlocked. There was no one in the hall. It might be safer to stay in the room like he was told, but truthfully, he was more scared thinking about waking up afraid the next day than he was of what might happen if Hangfire found him running through the hallways.
By the time he reached the car, he was not afraid at all. His mother didn’t look at him when he sat next to her, only speaking to him when they’d left Wade Academy and were well on their way back to town.
“He told me that you changed your mind,” Sharon said.
“I changed my mind again,” Kellar said cautiously. “You waited for me.”
“He didn’t hurt you.”
It was difficult to tell whether Sharon was asking this or making an observation. Tentatively, he answered, “No, he didn’t.”
“Good,” she said. “He won’t do that. He has no reason to harm Lizzie, either.”
“Do you really believe that?”
Sharon glared at Kellar from the corner of her eye before looking back to the road. “We won’t give him a reason to do anything else to us.”
“He didn’t need a reason to kidnap Lizzie.”
“No.”
“I won’t work with him anymore.”
“We have to, Kellar,” Sharon snapped. “You don’t get it.”
“I do get it.”
“No, you don’t.”
They drove in silence for a while. Kellar saw the lights from the town ahead, although there were very few lights. It was still brighter than the sky, which was dark and murky. He knew that he wasn’t going to go back to Wade Academy with Sharon, but now that he saw the town ahead he realised that he didn’t know where exactly he’d go if she didn’t come with him.
He was looking at the sky when Sharon spoke again, very unexpectedly and as though she were reading her son’s mind.
“If you leave and he hurts Lizzie, it will be your fault.”
It would have hurt less if she’d slapped him.
“But I can’t go back,” he said, quietly.
“You must.”
“It isn’t right.”
“You don’t get it,” she repeated. She saw only one thing left for her to do and was apparently running out of ways to talk about it. “It doesn’t matter what’s right. This is what’s happening. It’s horrible, but he has your sister right now. You and I are her only hope.”
The journey from Wade Academy back to town was much longer than Kellar expected, but it still wouldn’t be long enough for Kellar to convince her to stop helping Hangfire and to start fighting him. He didn’t know what he’d have to say to convince her of that, or if she even could be convinced.
“Do you trust him?” Kellar asked as they reached the town.
“I have to,” she said. “I don’t think that it matters, anyway. This is the only thing that we can do. Do you understand that? There are no other options.”
“Why did you wait for me?” Kellar asked.
Quietly, and sounding more like herself and less like she hated him, Sharon said, “I won’t let him hurt you, either.”