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Arriving to a completely empty apartment is not something Yoongi is used to. Unless they're hanging out with friends or grocery shopping, both Jimin and Hoseok are home by the time he comes back from class, drops his bag by the entrance and drags himself to the couch. Hoseok usually chuckles and runs his hands through Yoongi's hair when he finally plops down on the couch and settles his head on Hoseok's lap and Jimin asks him about his day, a drink for Yoongi already waiting on the coffee table. It's a nice thing to come home to after a long, tiresome day.
Today, though, he comes to a seemingly empty apartment. The lights are off and he can't hear the distant hum of the TV coming from the living room, which is strange. He knows that Jimin will be late because he's studying with Taehyung at the library today because he texted both Yoongi and Hoseok earlier to let them know, but Hoseok said nothing, and that means he should be home watching one of his favourite dramas while he eats.
Thinking objectively, Yoongi knows that there can be a ton of reasons for Hoseok to not be home yet that don't involve him getting into some sort of trouble, but he can't help the sense of dread that settles on his stomach because it's not often that Hoseok forgets to text them if he's not going to make it home before them.
He is heading towards the living room, phone already in hand to text Jimin because maybe he knows something, when he hears sniffling.
His heart drops.
“Hoseok?”
Hoseok's answer comes in the form of a whine that turns into a groan the moment Yoongi turns on the lights, annoyed by the sudden brightness, meaning he's been in the dark for way too long. Yoongi sighs and goes to crouch in front of the couch to be on eye level with Hoseok, who's lying there under a thick blanket.
“Hoseok...” he begins carefully, taking in his boyfriend's state. Hoseok's bangs are sticking to his sweaty forehead and there are dried tears on his cheeks. Yoongi swallows around the lump in his throat and raises a hand to gently push his bangs away from his forehead. At least his temperature seems normal. “What's wrong, Seokseok? Are you sick?”
Hoseok smiles weakly at the nickname and Yoongi smiles back, knowing his boyfriend finds some comfort in hearing that nickname.
Yoongi is not like Jimin, who's all over you the moment you so much as cough in front of him, insisting you need to rest to feel better. Or Hoseok, who shows up at your door at 3am with your favourite movie, snacks and the brightest smile and cuddles the fuck out of you if you dare to insinuate you are not feeling well. No, Yoongi is not like that. He cares, of course he does, but he has his own, small ways to show it. The texts to make sure his friends arrived home safe, the cute nicknames that make his boyfriends laugh when they don't even feel like smiling or their favorite drink waiting for them in the kitchen counter the morning after a long, rough night studying for finals. That's Yoongi caring.
“My period started early,” Hoseok finally says, voice shaky.
Oh.
Oh.
“Oh fuck.”
Hoseok laughs, but it dies the moment a particularly painful cramp hits and he curls on himself, groaning.
“Yeah, 'oh fuck' sums it up pretty well,” he says, and he sounds like he's about to cry.
“How long have you been here? Haven't you taken some Advil?”
Hoseok purses his lips.
“Yeah, about that...”
“We don't have Advil, do we?”
“We don't.”
Well, fuck.
Getting ready for this dreaded time of the month is something of a ritual at this point –pretty normal, considering that Hoseok has been dealing with his period every month for the past nine years. He has one of those period tracking apps so he can get ready when it's around the corner. Pads, tampons, Advil, his heating pad, insane amounts of chocolate; he usually makes sure he has everything a few days before. Both Jimin and Yoongi make sure he hasn't forgotten anything at least once and it's a system that has always worked.
Until today, that is.
Not only is Hoseok's period a week early, but Hell week is approaching and all of them have been way too focused on studying to make sure they had everything Hoseok could need to get through this awful week.
“Okay,” Yoongi mutters, more to himself than to Hoseok. He gets up, because he's starting to feel a dull ache in his legs from crouching, and nods. “Okay. Don't worry. I'll go buy some Advil.”
“No!”
Hoseok grabs his shirt before Yoongi can even turn around and looks at him with a panicked expression.
“Please, don't. Don't leave me, hyung. I don't want to be alone.”
Yoongi studies his face, wide eyes and lips in an inverted v shape, and sighs before sitting on the floor and gently caressing his cheek. Hoseok always gets clingy when he's on his period, needing all the affection he can get when he's dysphoric. As a cis person, Yoongi doesn't understand dysphoria, not fully, but he has empathy and can see why the painful reminder that you have a reproductive system a cisnormative society automatically associates with being a woman can make a man feel so bad about himself.
He considers his options. He doesn't want to leave Hoseok alone when he's in pain and feeling miserable, but he knows that if his boyfriend doesn't take some Advil he will be puking his guts out in a few hours, the pain upsetting his stomach. His only viable option seems to be texting Jimin to ask him to buy Advil while he looks after Hoseok, but he feels bad for interrupting his study time. Out of the three of them, Jimin is the one who's most serious about his studies and he gets really paranoid during Hell week. Yoongi knows how important it is for him to get some time to work and study with Taehyung, but Hoseok's groaning beside him because he's in pain and he has to make a decision. He stands up again, fishing his phone out of his pocket to text Jimin.
[You. 20:56]
hey jimin?
i know u r busy but this is kind of important
[Jimin. 20:57]
Is something wrong? :(
[You. 20:57]
hoseoks period started early
[Jimin. 20:57]
Oh fuck
Is he okay?
Does he need anything?
Wait I'm coming back
[You. 20:58]
we're out of advil
and he wants me to stay with him so i wanted to ask u if u could go buy some
i know today's study sesh was important but i cant just leave him
[Jimin. 20:59]
Hey fuck the study sesh
My baby's in pain
I'm omw
“Okay,” he says, sliding his phone back into his pocket. “Jimin's on his way. He'll buy some Advil. I'm gonna make you some chocolate, okay? Will you be okay if I leave you on your own for a few minutes?”
Hoseok sniffs loudly but nods, and Yoongi smiles fondly at him before heading to the kitchen to make his chocolate.
He hates seeing any of his boyfriends in pain, and he knows that Hoseok in particular tends to hide all his hurt under a cheerful facade that most people couldn't maintain for as long as he can. He knows that Hoseok does not feel completely comfortable opening up about the shit he faces as a trans person with any of them because neither of them fully understand it, and he would rather deal with it on his own than share it for fear of feeling misunderstood. Yoongi is not stupid, he knows. And Jimin has noticed as well.
It's not that Hoseok doesn't trust them, Yoongi doesn't think so, but it still hurts to know that he doesn't feel comfortable enough to openly talk about his dysphoria or about this guy in his class that's always spewing transphobic bullshit. None of his boyfriends would ever judge him if he decided to open up about it and Hoseok must know. They've worked hard to build that trust ever since the three of them decided to start a relationship and even before. But Yoongi knows where Hoseok's anxiety comes from –knows he has wounds that have not fully healed yet, wounds that have been there since long before Jimin and Yoongi came into the picture– and it will take time, patience and affection to help him heal.
Yoongi pulls the door handle of the microwave just before it starts beeping and he can't suppress a triumphant smile. Yoongi 1, annoying ass beeping 0.
When Yoongi enters the living room again Hoseok's sitting on the couch, heating pad pressed against his lower abdomen and blanket discarded. His smile reaches his eyes when he sees Yoongi hand him his favorite mug.
“Thank you.”
By the time Jimin arrives home, Yoongi and Hoseok are cuddling on the couch and Hoseok is still nursing his hot –probably not hot at this point– chocolate. He rushes to his room to leave his things and returns with a plastic bag that he hands to Hoseok, still trying to catch his breath.
“You ran all the way here, didn't you?” Yoongi sighs, and Jimin nods.
“I also bought Nutella,” Jimin says. “So when you take the Advil I'll go get spoons and we can cuddle and eat straight out of the jar, diet be damned.”
“Hell yeah,” Hoseok says.
Yoongi wakes up to the soft rumble of his boyfriends' conversation and Hoseok's legs over his lap. The Nutella jar sits on their coffee table, half-empty and long forgotten. He shifts a little to get more comfortable and tilts his head to crack his neck, stiff after falling asleep on the couch in an uncomfortable position, but Hoseok and Jimin continue talking in whispers, not noticing he's awake.
“I'm glad you took your binder off even before I asked you to,” Jimin is saying and Yoongi hears the soft sound of a kiss. “I know dysphoria is one hell of a bitch but your health matters, Hobi. I don't want you to hurt yourself.”
“I didn't wear my binder today at all, to be honest. My chest hurt a lot when I woke up so I decided it was better if I didn't wear it at all,” Hoseok admits.
Yoongi smiles to himself. Hoseok feeling confident enough to not wear his binder today is a step. A small one, but a step nonetheless. Last month he would have probably chosen to wear it even if he was in pain.
“Good, that's good.”
Kiss.
“I know the decision between feeling less dysphoric and not being in physical pain is not easy. I'm proud of you.”
Kiss. Yoongi can hear the smile in Jimin's voice.
“You know you're like, super handsome, right?”
Kiss. Hoseok chuckles.
“Am I, though?”
“Yes.” There’s no hesitation in Jimin's answer. “And we love you, both of us. So so much.”
“I know. I love you too.”
Yoongi's heart swells with fondness. So maybe they're not a point where they can say they've made it yet, maybe there are still a lot of things they have to work on both as individuals and as people in a relationship, but they're getting there. There are and will be hardships to overcome, but Yoongi wouldn't change this –Hoseok's legs resting on his lap, waking up to their voices, the kisses, the loves of his life– for anything in the world.
