Chapter Text
“Where is my pudding?!” Symbol yelled, slamming the fridge door shut. From the couch, Mitch made a noncommital noise, too absorbed in his book to respond to his boyfriend’s distress. Symbol moved to the nearby cabinet and opened the door, like his pudding was suddenly going to reappear in the two seconds since he had last checked.
“I had like...ten unopened six packs in here just last night,” he said in disbelief. “Have I started sleep eating?” He turned to Mitch. “Mitch, am I sleep eating?”
“No, dear, you aren’t sleep eating,” Mitch mumbled, turning a page in his book. Symbol frowned and shut the cabinet.
“How would you know? You’d be asleep, too,” he said. Symbol crossed his arms and leaned against the cabinet with a huff. “Well, then where did all my pudding go? It can’t just get up and walk out on its own!” Mitch hummed, clearly not listening. Symbol’s frown deepened. He straightened up and walked into the living room and toward Mitch. When he got to the couch, he turned and dramatically flopped down onto his boyfriend’s lap, Mitch having moved his book in a well-practice maneuver. Symbol sighed loudly.
“I’m not going to survive, Mitch,” he said, draping a hand over his eyes. “I’m going to wither away here. Right here. In front of your very eyes. How does that make you feel, Mitch? Do you even care at all?” Mitch couldn’t help but smile a little at Symbol’s over dramatic antics. He finally closed his book and began running his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. Symbol made a distressed noise as his perfectly coiffed locks were mussed, but then relaxed into the gesture.
“You and I both know that there’s a perfectly logical explanation for this,” he said. “Pudding doesn’t just disappear. Now, who do we both know that likes to hide, and sneak around, and screw with the people he cares about?” Symbol moved his hand and squinted up at Mitch.
“Uh...me?” he said. Mitch laughed.
“Okay, besides you.” Symbol looked up at the ceiling, thinking. Then, he shot up, almost headbutting Mitch in the nose.
“I’ll be right back!” he said, standing up and running to the door, pulling his shoes on. He flung their front door open, then paused and ran back to the couch. He bent down and gave Mitch a kiss, and then ran out the door, pulling it closed behind him.
The faculty and staff housing was near enough to the student dorms, so Symbol made it there in just a few minutes. He knew exactly which building he needed to go to, and made it to the bassoon dorm in record time.
When he opened the door to the common room, he saw Raz’ul and Yashee sitting on the couch doing homework and right next to them was Randy, sitting on a throne made of pudding cups and happily eating from one, staring at the door as though he was waiting for it to open all along. Raz’ul and Yashee looked up at him, and then at the clock hanging on the wall above Randy.
“Wow, three whole hours,” Raz’ul said. “That took a lot longer than I thought it would.” He and Yashee dug around in their pockets and pulled out a few gold pieces. They tossed them toward Randy, who caught them and pocketed them before turning back to Symbol, with a shit-eating grin on his face. He took a pudding cup from the top of the throne and held it out to his teacher.
“Want one?” he said. Symbol narrowed his eyes and snatched the cup out of Randy’s hand. He pointed a stern finger at the halfling.
“You’re bringing all of this back. I’m not helping,” he said. Randy laughed.
“Part of the bet was that the losers had to bring it all back,” he said. “So you’ll be seeing Raz’ul and Yashee later.” Symbol shook his head and made to leave, but then a thought popped into his head and he stopped. Turning back to Randy, he waved his hand, as though he was waving goodbye, and cast a small, subtle Prestidigitation on the half-eaten pudding cup in Randy’s hand.
“I hope this was worth it,” Symbol said, and then turned and left as Randy took another bite of pudding. As the door closed, he heard Randy gag.
“Ugh!! Key lime?! This tasted like chocolate a second ago!”
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Raz’ul stared at the...thing sitting on their coffee table, confused. Randy was standing next to him with his hands on his hips and his chest puffed out.
“Cool, right?” Randy said. Raz’ul nodded slowly and reluctantly.
“Yes,” he said, “I understand that it’s cool, but...why does your toaster have wings?”
“Well, it’s alive of course. It flies.” Raz’ul looked at him.
“...Flies,” he said in disbelief. Randy nodded. “Randy, toasters don’t fly.”
“Well, normal ones don’t,” Randy said, almost exasperated. “But this one definitely does! I was walking back from the cafetorium and I saw it flying through the trees next to me! I climbed up and grabbed it and brought it back here to show you and Yashee.” Raz’ul nodded slowly again.
“Uh huh,” he said. “And, uh, why isn’t it flying now?”
“It’s probably scared.” Randy gently took the toaster in his arms and sat down on their couch, holding it as though he was holding a cat. “There, there, little toaster buddy. The mean dwarf won’t hurt you.” Raz’ul frowned. Randy wasn’t a dumb guy. He couldn’t seriously believe that this toaster was alive and could fly.
“Hey, uh, Randy, could I maybe hold the toaster for a little bit? Maybe it just needs to...get used to me. And then it’ll fly,” he said. Randy looked a little skeptical for a second, but then nodded. He patted the toaster on the, uh...front part? And then carefully handed it to Raz’ul.
Raz’ul took the toaster and inspected it closely. The wings were indeed attached to the toaster, and as far as Raz’ul could tell, they looked like they were actually growing out of the smooth metal sides. He touched one gently and it twitched. Huh. Was this thing actually alive? Just as Raz’ul was starting to rethink everything he knew about toasters and animals, he noticed something on the underside of one of the wings. It looked like a folded piece of paper. Raz’ul carefully extracted it from the feathers and handed the toaster back to Randy, who frowned when he noticed the note in Raz’ul’s hand.
“What’s that?” Randy asked. Raz’ul shrugged and unfolded the paper. On it was a note written in careful calligraphy with shiny purple ink. Raz’ul read it out loud:
“This is for the pudding. Xoxo Symbol”
Suddenly the toaster in Randy’s hands exploded, and glitter flew everywhere. It seemed to cover every square inch of their living room. Randy and Raz’ul looked at each other, shock and glitter all over their faces. And then Randy laughed.
“Nice one, Splash! Holy crap,” he said, brushing glitter out of his hair. “Well, if it’s a prank war he wants, it’s a prank war he’s got. Wanna help?” Raz’ul looked around at their now bedazzled living room, and then back at Randy. A grin slowly crept over his face.
“Oh yeah. What do you have in mind?”