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It’s too much.
His heart races, pounding in his ears. Nitori tries to focus on Rin’s swimming, watching his friend power up and down the pool doing his butterfly stroke, but his pounding heart distracts him.
He feels so sick. Why won’t his heart stop racing?
And then he realises. It’s a panic attack.
Nitori hasn’t had one for years. He thought he was over the worst of his anxiety. But yet…
He clutches at his chest, trying to breathe despite his lungs suddenly not knowing how to work.
He can’t cope. He needs to be alone. He needs to calm down. He needs…
Gasping for breath, Nitori drops his stopwatch and runs out of the pool without even stopping to ask permission. He knows he’ll get in trouble later, but right now all he can think about is the panic.
He runs without paying attention to where he is going, wearing nothing but his bathing suit, still wet from his own swim, his breaths coming out shallow and jagged. Everything around him blurs away, sounds becoming little more than while noise.
Nitori runs into the locker rooms and into the showers, and when he switches on a shower and freezing water runs down him, it kind of helps bring him back down.
He slumps to the floor with his forehead on his knees, breathing and breathing and breathing, water cascading down his face as tears sting in his eyes. He’s so scared. When will this stop?
“Ai?”
Through the panic and hyperventilation, Nitori hears his name. Looking up with teary eyes, he sees Rin.
“R-Rin?”
Rin crouches down in front of him, concern in his red eyes. “Hey, it’s okay, Ai. Just breathe. I’m here with you.”
And even though he’s still crying, Nitori manages a weak, grateful smile.