Work Text:
The final entry of Rupert Giles, Watcher.
1996-2001
(as told to ellenemi)
In the end I did what every Watcher before me has done.
I watched my Slayer die.
I performed the duty that had been my destiny since birth, and for the first time in my life I loathe myself for it.
Standing there sightlessly taking in her grave, I couldn't help but wish that it was me lying beneath the earth instead of her; as my heart feels hollow, as though it has been shattered beyond repair.
I despaired when Jenny was murdered, and I grieved as any lover would.
But this, this is different, this is a wound that will never heal; a pain so sharp that it's cut me to the core, and I know that I'll never finish mourning her.
Quentin Travers once accused me of having a 'Fathers love for the girl', and he was right.
Until the day I finally die she will always be my 'daughter', the child of my heart, if not of my body.
And I can only hope that where ever she is, she has forgiven me for doing my duty.
Because I know that I cannot.
I will not.
My Slayer is gone, and soon I will follow…
-end-