Work Text:
“So…”
Dean grunted and continued to eat his cereal with all the grace of a caveman.
“So,” Sam repeated.
“So what?” Dean asked, finally looking up.
“You and Cas,” Sam raised his eyebrows.
Dean looked at him with a blank stare for a beat and then resumed his attack on the Frosted Flakes.
“Come on, man. I know he’s been spending the night in your room. Just admit it already!”
Dean turned a dark look on Sam, “He’s been having nightmares. You try losing your grace…again and see how you do.”
“Sure, fine, whatever. But there’s more going on, right?”
“What?”
“You know…you and Cas? Do I have to spell it out?”
“Dude, no.” Dean got up and took his bowl over to the sink.
Sam tilted his chair onto the back legs and stared at his brother in disbelief.
“Seriously? You and Cas aren’t together? Like really together? But he spends every night in your room!”
“Yeah, sleeping. What the fuck, man? Why would you even think something was going on? I mean, he’s a-”
“If you’re about to say a dude, just stop. Don’t even use that as an excuse. It’s bullshit. I know you like guys. Stop shaking your head. I know, okay? I’ve always known. So can we just move past that and talk about why you’re not with Cas?”
Dean gaped like a fish a few times until he finally let out an angry grunt and turned back to the sink, intent on washing his bowl and not listening to Sam.
“Seriously? No response? Nothing? You love him, Dean. I know you do.”
“So what, Sam? So what? Even if he loved me, too, it wouldn’t matter.”
“If? If? Dude, you’re so freaking stupid. Are you kidding me? He loves you. Don’t pretend you don’t believe it to make this not your fault. You love each other. Why aren’t you together?”
“Stop, Sam! Just stop. It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. I would fuck it up. Or it would just fall apart on its own. None of this is normal, okay? It’s just not in the cards."
“What cards? Screw that, Dean. You’re happy together. Why can’t you let yourself have that?”
“No, Sam! Have you noticed my track record? Not the best. Not as bad as yours, sure, but everything, everyone I touch turns to shit, okay? I’m not letting that happen to Cas. If things were different…but they’re not, okay? Just let it go.”
“No! That’s bullshit, Dean. You make him happy. He makes you happy. What’s the problem?”
“It’s not happening, man. If I weren’t a fucked-up hunter or he wasn’t a freakin’ fallen angel, maybe. I mean, maybe then but that’s not how things are. We’re not two normal dudes who bumped carts at the grocery store and I smiled at him and he asked for my phone number, okay? I’m so fucked up that I ruin everything I touch and he deserves better!” Dean threw his hands up in the air and stormed out of the room, passing Cas in the hallway.
Cas peered into the kitchen, “Everything alright, Sam?”
Sam looked up at Cas with a sad smile, “Yeah, Cas. Everything’s fine.”
“If you losers want anything else from the store and you don’t put it on my list in the next ten minutes, no fucking complaining!” Dean called as he headed to the bathroom.
Sam was engrossed in a dusty tome that probably hadn’t been opened in a hundred years. Cas looked up from his crossword puzzle but he had already put down COFFEE on Dean’s list, underlined three times just for safe measures. Dean emerged from the bathroom and stopped to grab his keys. He said goodbye and headed up the stairs to the door, as Sam called out without looking up from the book, “Get the right kind of yogurt this time, jackass!” but Dean just slammed the door in response.
Sam looked up at Cas, “If he gets that Jamie Lee Curtis crap again, I’m putting Nair in his shampoo.”
Cas didn’t really know what any of that meant but didn’t bother asking for clarification. He preferred Sam’s yogurt too but tried to stay out of the eternal battle over dairy products.
“I need to go…run an errand. I won’t be long,” Cas was sure Sam would ask questions or see right through his ruse but he just nodded and looked back down at his book.
Cas was pretty certain Dean was going to his usual grocery store but he was still grateful to see the Impala parked in the middle of the lot. After parking a few spots over from her, he took a cart, and went inside. This would be the tricky part. How to find Dean. He decided to stick to the inside aisles at first. If he could spot Dean first, he’d have the element of surprise on his side and that would help his cause. Maybe. As he neared the end of the cereal aisle, he saw Dean leaning over the dairy case, his shoulders hunched with frustration. Cas pushed his empty cart over and ran it into Dean’s. Dean jumped in surprise.
“Oh, sorry! I…Cas? Man, what are you doing here? If you wanted to come with me, you should’ve just asked. Now you just wasted gas money, dude,” Dean returned his eyes to the yogurt containers. This wasn’t going exactly how Cas pictured it. But then again, Cas wasn’t really sure what he had expected. He gently tapped Dean’s cart again.
“Do you really think Sam cares about this stupid yogurt? I mean the knock-off looks exactly the same and it’s half the price. They can’t be that different, right?” Dean looked over at Cas, who didn’t respond.
“Dude? Why are you here? What’s wrong?”
Cas took a deep breath, “I just thought we could start over.”
Dean stood for a minute, dumbfounded, the yogurts dangling precariously in his hands.
“Oh,” he said finally.
“Yes,” Cas replied and closed the distance between them. He placed the brand name yogurt in Dean’s cart and put the other back on the shelf.
“But dude, it’s twice as much and I’m sure it tastes the same,” Dean’s voice trailed off as he finished and Cas looked at him. Their sides were touching and Cas could feel Dean’s warmth through all his layers. Without losing another moment, Cas held Dean’s face in his hands and kissed him. Dean’s hands reached around Cas’s waist and tugged him closer. Cas pulled away and looked at Dean.
“So, exactly how much of that conversation did you hear?”
“All of it.”
“Great.”
Cas smiled at Dean’s embarrassment and kissed him again. He pecked his way over Dean’s cheek and stopped at his ear.
“I love you,” he whispered, “I love you. I have loved you since I was manifested, I love you now, and I will love you. I love you.”
Dean said nothing but laid his head down on Cas’s shoulder. Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair and kissed the top of his head. Dean sniffled and quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
“What about when I fuck this up?”
“I won’t let you. Just like you won’t let me fuck it up. No more lying to each other, Dean. We’re together now. We’re on the same side, the same team. Always.”
“Okay,” Dean nodded and leaned into to kiss Cas. He pulled Cas closer and rested his head on Cas’s shoulder again.
“We’re still not buying that expensive yogurt shit.”