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The gig was coming to an end and Ozzy was basking in the lights of the reflectors on the stage while Geezer and Tony were holding the last tones of the song. Then Oz thanked the city, wished them goodnight and as the lights went off, the fans started screaming.
It was a great gig, Geezer thought when he was going down the steps to the backstage area, but something still wasn't quite right. Ozzy suddenly disturbed his thoughts by jumping on his back while screaming something along the lines of:
“That was bloody awesome, lads! You were amazing, Geezer!” (Which he was yelling with such enthusiasm and at such volume that one exclamation mark isn't really enough to express it).
The bassist was so used to this that at this point he just carried him to the dressing room while his back complained about the added weight. Well, people said he'd have to endure a lot for music, after all. He wasn't exactly imagining this, though. But it was still all worth it. It was worth the feeling he got from the gigs, the feeling of a job well done when they released a successful album, the adrenaline from playing in front of thousands of people, and most importantly it was all worth because of Tony. Because of how he smiled at him onstage when they were both glowing with endorphins, when he patted his back, when they could just share the littlest of moments together and all that made Geezer gain such energy, that he knew he can do this forever.
When he finally put Ozzy and his bass down and sunk down into an armchair, all the emotions came down on him. His hand started shaking, but he was getting very used to it as well. He wasn't sure it was the fact he stopped taking the drugs Ozzy offered him, or if it was something else. Then he remembered all the things he needs to arrange the next day. That only added to the trembling of his hand. He also realized he was incredibly hungry, but he knew the cold pizza which Oz left in front of the mirrors either wasn't consumable anymore, or it was Ozzy’s in which case he didn't want to even touch it. Not because Ozzy had cooties (he probably had worse things, who knows?), but mostly because Ozzy got incredibly angry whenever someone ate his food.
The moment Geezer finished his thought, Ozzy set his joint aside and started consuming the pizza, so Geezer wasn't left any other option than to search for food elsewhere. And the drummer it wasn't, since he already disappeared elsewhere. Geezer hoped he was just packing his drums and not fucking some girls already. It nonetheless left him with one option.
“Tony?” He looked around the room, just to catch a glance of the guitarist's arse as he changed into clean jeans.
“Yeah?” The addressed turned to Geezer while zipping up his trousers.
“Do you want to order some dinner?”
“Sure,” he smiled, “But let's wait till we're at the hotel, Okay?”
Geezer nodded and began to change out of his own stage clothes.
The sentence Tony just said made it clear that they will both pass on the usually compulsory hooking up with roadies. Geezer hated it lately. He just wanted his peace after a show, but before he had started talking with Tony more, Ozzy always managed to drag him there and he usually tended to end up with some girl in a bed. Now, he pretty much enjoyed it of course, but he also felt that he needed something different. He needed some kind of sex for soul, a connection between two minds rather than bodies. And so the late night discussions with Tony became more important to him than having sex with hookers or whoever. Because he felt some kind of connection with Tony, regarding their opinions and views, and the things they both liked. And even if they didn't agree on the thing, it was still interesting to hear the other out.
It was cold outside the venue. They quickly packed everything into the vans with some help of the crew and took a cab to the hotel.
Geezer flopped down on the bed closer to the door. He was so glad that Ozzy didn't share the room with him tonight, and he was even happier when he saw Tony pulling his bags inside the room. Their current drummer was good, but like most drummers, Geezer had the chance to play with, he snored.
Tony was the best roommate. If they felt like it, they could talk till three in the morning. They haven't done that since about five gigs ago. But Geezer really needed Tony today. He was stressed because of Ozzy’s stupid ass, and the arrangements he had to do regarding the next leg of the tour, and some other things which he wasn't quite able to describe, let alone say out loud.
The guitarist wasn't unpacking anything, he just put all the bags on the floor next to one bed and then proceeded to lay down onto it. Then he pulled The Yellow Pages out of the nightstand and took the phone from the top of it. He flipped through the pages until he found some restaurants.
“What do you want to get?” He asked the bassist.
“Chinese?” Was the first thing that came to his mind.
“Sure,” Tony returned his focus to the book, then looked at the phone and dialled the number of the restaurant. He ordered two portions of some chicken noodles and tea, apparently. Then he told them the address and hung up.
Geezer was deep in thought again and so he didn't notice Tony looking at him, trying to read his expression.
“It was a good show, Geezer, why so sad?” He turned his whole body to him as he extended his hand towards the bassist.
“I'm just tired, don't worry,” Geezer lied, but took Tony’s hand anyway.
It was his “hand of doom” as Ozzy dubbed it. Geezer always found it incredibly cool that Tony didn't stop playing even after the accident. He had already told him a while ago and got some serious blushing in response.
Geezer suddenly thought about the fact that this isn't exactly the first time they hold hands and that they've done so in front of many people. Not just on gigs, not just in promo photos, it was even when they were somewhere and Tony dragged him away from places. But that might’ve as well been just an excuse on his side.
“Do you think Oz is ever going to grow up?” Tony suddenly asked, as if he finally dug deep enough into Geezer’s mind to find what was troubling him. He also moved to his back so he had to let go of the other man's hand.
“No, I guess, he's not the one to change. He’ll always do stupid shit,” Geezer paused,” until it kills him,” Tony flinched a little at the words. Geezer suddenly felt bad for saying it out loud.
“I just hope it's not soon,” Tony said with a shaky breath, then he saw the concern in Geezer's eyes and added: “I would like to be a bit more famous first, you know?” And tried to smile a bit as his way of saying 'don’t worry’.
Despite the fact that Geezer felt tired and his whole body hurt because of the gig and Ozzy’s dumb ideas, he got up and lied down next to Tony. The bed was big enough for both of them to fit next to each other without touching, but they laid close nonetheless. It was clear that neither of them felt alright even after the supposedly successful gig.
“Do you need a hug, Tony?” Geezer asked.
“Yes, please.”
Geezer put his arm around the guitarist and forced him to be the little spoon for once. He knew they shouldn't fall asleep before they eat, but it was very hard to resist snuggling closer to Tony and calling it a day, finally.
Tony suddenly caressed Geezer's hand. He didn't even flinch at the touch.
“You know, sometimes I wonder if it would be better if we went down and partied with Oz everyday. You know, if we kept an eye on him so he doesn't end up in a ditch somewhere,” Tony said as if he followed exactly what was on Geezer's mind.
“We can't be his parents. He's an adult anyways,” Geezer responded and got a hold on Tony’s hand.
“Yes, you're right, but as you said before,” Tony pressed Geezer’s hand against his chest, “What if it kills him?”
Geezer thought about it. He hoped that Ozzy will stop doing whatever he probably does right now, but it was very a weak wish or a feeling now. He liked Ozzy, he cared about him, he was his friend, colleague and overall a good guy after all, but damn, Ozzy was able to be incredibly stubborn. And he also did only those things he considered fun. To the point where he avoided any responsibility. Truly a child in a sense.
“Let's hope it doesn't. We can't do more for him than what we do now. Worrying won't help,” Geezer said and felt the fabric of Tony's shirt.
“Hmm, you're right,” Tony curled up more and Geezer followed that movement.
Geezer was already half asleep when the doorbell rang. He hoped it was food, because the only things he was able to worry about now we're food and sleep. Maybe, just maybe, it was sex as well, but he didn't want to think about it while eating. Otherwise his stomach would kindly return the food back where it came from.
Tony handed him the box as they both sat down on his bed, and before they started to eat Tony pulled two fortune cookies out of the bag and handed one to Geezer.
“Let's see what they say,” he smiled as he handed it out.
“Well I hope it isn't written in Chinese,” Geezer smirked.
“Well, mine says: ‘happiness is closer than you think’ that isn't Chinese I suppose. And it doesn't sound bad either!” Tony held it between his fingers as he crunched the cookie.
“Mine reads: ‘ speak your mind and great things will happen’ and I have no idea what to do with this,” Geezer handed the paper to Tony, who previously extended his hand towards him.
“Maybe you will find a girlfriend on our next gig?” Tony laughed, “But oh wait, you're a bassist,” he grinned and opened the box with the noodles.
Geezer wasn't mad at him, instead he teased him back: “Well, you don't have a girlfriend either, Mr. guitarist man. So it has to do with something else, I bet.”
“With what? With Oz getting all the girls? With us being too nice? Maybe we should be gay?” He chuckled.
“Well I'm certainly not 100% straight,” Geezer said as if it was the most usual thing to say, because, well the cookie said to speak his mind, so here goes nothing. Then he turned his concentration back towards the food as well. To distract himself from the sudden heavy air between them.
Tony stopped eating, he blushed and tried to think of a good comeback. Because he might’ve already thought about Geezer in a not so heterosexual way.
As the bassist noticed his reaction he immediately apologized: “Nah, I'm sorry, Tony, I didn't mean it. It was just a joke.” It wasn't, but he hoped Tony would take it as such if it offended him.
“It's okay, I just... suppose I'm not completely straight either?” He looked at Geezer and then quickly down at his food.
“I'm okay with that. Who's even attracted to just the opposite sex? I mean in music industry? Have you seen the glam rock guys? Slade? Don't tell me those dudes are all straight,” Geezer said, cocked his eyebrow and stabbed his noodles with the fork.
“Thanks. I was just a bit worried. You're really open minded about this, I appreciate it,” Tony smiled timidly.
“Well I'm glad you didn't freak out,” Geezer smiled back. He was glad Tony admitted that he's not straight as well, but now he wasn't sure he won't cross any lines today. He's not doing anything that would make Tony feel uncomfortable, of course. But he got more and more curious and brave.
“So you ever had a crush on a guy?” Tony suddenly spoke as if he got more courageous as well.
“Yeah,” Geezer started, “ a guy I played with in a band. What about you?” He hoped it was vague enough, but that if Tony did like him back, he would catch on it like a fish on a bait. It was a tiny little game Geezer decided to play with Tony. And it was true anyways that he had a crush on some guy who used to play in one of his earlier “bands”.
“Um, the same really, it's probably normal,” He smiled and wished for the best. Which was somehow also getting Geezer to bed with him tonight. Whatever the meaning of that truly was. But he took much smaller steps than the bassist. He was more cautious, still.
“Yeah, I mean I don't spend my time doing much else than this.” Geezer gestured vaguely around while scrunching up his nose and lifting his right eyebrow.
Tony thought that expression was kind of cute, and so he smiled wider, his heart was fluttering as he really wanted to confess and... maybe something nice will happen? But it wasn't the right time. Not yet.
They decided to go to bed early and left just the two bedside lamps on. Geezer was changing into his light blue pajamas when he noticed Tony’s gaze upon him. But when he turned around Tony quickly hid behind his copy of... whatever book he was reading.
Geezer realized he wasn't all that tired when he laid down onto his bed. The thick feather filled duvet was heavy, uncomfortable and it also smelled weird. At least in Tony’s bed there was Tony who smelled damn nice.
The guitarist felt how his face burned with shame. And he couldn't concentrate on the book at all. He still had the image of Geezer’s back in his mind. So he turned the light off, put the book down and tried to fall asleep. With no avail. The same way Geezer wanted to join Tony in his bed, Tony wanted to move to Geezer's.
And so it happened, a couple of uncomfortably quiet moments later, that the both of them stood there in between their beds, looking at each other in complete confusion.
Tony was the first to try and articulate something that would explain what he was doing, but before he could stutter out at least the first word, Geezer hugged him.
He hugged him back because what else was he supposed to do? Push him away? No, he didn't want that. He wanted to be closer to him, even if it meant he will have to show more of his true intentions. He calmed down a bit and tried to joke about the situation.
“You know this isn't how you do the wall of death, right?” Tony whispered in Geezer's ear.
“It's a new approach, haven't you heard?” The bassist said and held Tony even tighter.
“I have to admit it's working on me,” Tony caressed Geezer's back slowly.
Oh how he needed that. He felt like almost purring like a cat. Carrying Ozzy, amps, and his bags every two or three days wasn't good for his spine at all, but he was hesitant to ask someone for a massage. Hell, he wouldn't ask Tony, not even now.
“Your back hurts, doesn't it?” Tony asked, because he clearly sensed how tense Geezer's back muscles were.
“Uh, yeah,” Geezer answered, suddenly disturbed from his thoughts, “ but I bet it's just my bed, in yours it will be alright,” he smiled.
Tony just looked at him, not really knowing what to say again, to which Geezer quickly said: “I mean, if you don't mind me there.”
“Well, I've been told that I'm not a good bedfellow, but if you think so?” Tony finally brought himself to speak.
“Yeah, I want to try at least,” Geezer lightly pushed Tony back until he hit the bedframe with his calves.
Tony sat down on the edge of the mattress. Then he carefully took Geezer's hands into his and looked up at Geezer as if he was a saint. But Geezer didn't like this sudden imbalance of power and so he sat on the bed as well.
“Well, you should lie down first, or do I have to wrestle you?” Geezer asked as he moved their arms up and down as if they did some martial arts.
Tony thought about his reply, “Depends on what kind of wrestling you mean,” he decided to try pushing more.
Geezer blushed and they both averted their sight. After all, it wasn't just a stupid little game. It might have seemed like it, but under the layers of pretended bravery, they were both anxious and wanted this to end. Preferably by cuddling on the bed again.
Finally, Tony pulled his legs up and then laid down under the blanket. Geezer shyly followed him. As they awkwardly laid on their backs side by side, Tony cautiously reached out for Geezer's hand. He held it softly, as if he was afraid that Geezer was made of porcelain.
Geezer squeezed Tony's hand tighter and looked at him over his shoulder.
“Geezer, I think we should both speak our mind. I think we should be honest. Even if I liked playing games, I'd like to fall asleep knowing my answers,” Tony said while not meeting Geezer's gaze just yet.
“Ask then, I'll answer,” Geezer smiled at his guitarist.
“How much do you exactly like me?”
Geezer took a deep breath and started, “ I like you in many ways. I like you as a bandmate, when we play together, because we understand each other and we can predict what the other does next. Then I like you as a friend, when we talk, because I know I can open up to you much more than to most people, and lastly I think I like you more than just a friend, because when we touch, it gives me strength and comfort, and it weirdly just feels right.... And I don't really know if that means I like you more than just a friend, but if so, then be it.”
Tony was left speechless. Geezer put his feelings into words so clearly that it felt as if he hit him with a brick.
Geezer shivered a bit. A sudden wave of anxiety overcame him as he realized that what he just said might have fucked up everything he had with Tony to this point.
“I don't know what to say, Geezer,” Tony broke the silence.
“Sorry,” Geezer responded and started to get up.
“Nonono, don't go anywhere please,” he caught him by his wrist, “ I mean you said exactly what I'm feeling as well and you said it better than I would have,” Tony lifted himself up a bit as he tried to get a look at Geezer's face.
Geezer finally turned towards Tony. He was smiling bittersweetly. Tony suddenly sat up as well and hugged him again. And this time even tighter and somehow with more emotion and more intense charge than before. Then, when he had the chance, he placed a small kiss on Geezer's temple.
Tony then spoke again: “I think we've always been close, but suddenly now we're making such drama out of it, and you know that Ozzy is enough drama for all four of us,” Tony put a strand of Geezer's behind his ear, “So, I suggest we go to bed, this bed, both of us. And we'll talk in the morning.”
“That sounds fair,” Geezer agreed and they both laid down again.
Geezer soon started to fall asleep while Tony ran a hand down his back, circling around the separate vertebrae with his index finger, then pushing under the shoulder blades with his palms and running his hands down Geezer's sides. Tony was the only one who did these right.
As the tension left Geezer's body, Tony slowly slowed down and then finally snuggled next to Geezer. And like that he fell asleep not long after him.
That was until Ozzy busted through the door. He wasn't especially loud, but when he turned the lights on, both Tony and Geezer jumped up and turned to see what the hell just happened. Oz didn't say anything and just plopped down onto Geezer's original bed.
As soon as Ozzy started snoring they faced each other again, looking equally confused.
“What the hell?” Tony whispered.
“Didn't we lock the door?”
“I'm mostly sure we did,” Tony said.
“Who gave him the key then?” Geezer hissed.
“I have no idea, Geezer, let's hope he will sleep the whole night.”
“I feel like his parent now. You know, like when parents and a kid go on a family holiday, and because the child shares a room with the parents they can't have sex and stuff,” Geezer grinned, still keeping his voice low.
“Shut up, you wouldn't have sex with me, even if Oz slept in his room!” Tony playfully hit Geezer in the shoulder.
“Well... you're not wrong,” Geezer backed off, “but still, I was expecting us to have more privacy. And peace.”
“Hey, it's not that bad, at least he has yet to start puking on everything.”
“Oh god,” Geezer rubbed his tired eyes, got up and turned the lights off again.
“Whatever, we should sleep as well,” Tony pulled the blanket over them both as Geezer joined him again.
“Right.”
After some half an hour Oz got up.
“Geezer, what the fuck is Oz doing?” Tony gripped his bedmate’s hand.
“He just got up,” Geezer murmured and reassuringly squeezed Tony's hand a couple of times, “ Now he's going to the bathroom,” Geezer looked over Tony and as they heard the specific splashing on the porcelain, Geezer added: “He's taking a piss.”
“Amazing.” Tony rolled his eyes and closed them again.
In a few moments the toilet has been flushed and Ozzy was back in bed, sleeping soundly.
“I'll sleep as well,” Geezer murmured and caressed Tony's side mindlessly, even though Tony twitched at the touch at first.
“Maybe I'll try as well,” Tony returned the movement and brought Geezer closer to him.
And even though both of them kind of expected Bill joining them soon, they finally fell asleep.
The morning was bright and warm. The sun was shining behind the blinds and Tony, who woke up first, sleepily watched the particles of dust move in the strips of sunlight coming from the window. Geezer stretched and put his hand over Tony as if he sensed that he's already awake and wants to leave the bed.
Tony thought about the night and realized that apart from a couple of instances when he was awakened by Geezer moving or taking too much of the blanket, he slept well. He hoped Geezer had the same experience. Then he remembered that Ozzy is still there in the room with them... Or is he?
Tony slightly lifted himself to look over Geezer at the other bed. It was empty. He began questioning the night encounter, but soon he saw that the door to the balcony was open and Oz was there leaning against the railing, smoking, still in the clothes he had on the night before. In the end Tony decided that giving him more thought was too much work and so he slowly laid himself back down.
By that he woke up Geezer, who just sleepily outstretched his hand and snuggled closer to Tony. Just in case it was all a dream.
“Geezer, Ozzy's still here, I wouldn't do...”
“Shush, let me enjoy this for a couple more minutes,” Geezer cut Tony off.
And Tony just went with it, because what else could he do? Yell at Geezer? Push him away? Ask Ozzy for help? He wasn't dumb. As he heard the balcony door closing he shut his eyes and hoped that Oz won't wake them up or say anything. He walked past them, to the bathroom, and when he went back he did stop and comment on them. But in a much different manner than the two of them expected.
“You know, you look real comfy and cute,” Ozzy slurred and quietly (at least according to him) left the room.
“What the fuck?” Geezer started giggling.
“I could ask the same question,” Tony grinned as well.
“I mean, this was the best thing I've heard from him in a long time,” Geezer laughed.
“Well, let's hope that Bill’s going to have a similar attitude,” Tony said, sounding more serious again.
“I don't see why he wouldn't,” Geezer kept smiling, then added: “Right, Bill?” as he noticed the half opened door with Bill's head wedged between the doorframe and the actual door.
“I was just looking for Ozzy!” He defended himself, blushed and closed the door. But before Geezer and Tony could resume laughing, he came back with: “But Ozzy is right you two are darn cute like this,” and shut the door.
“Next time we're sleeping in a bank and not in a hotel,” Tony gestured towards the door.
“Why?” Geezer asked.
“Because otherwise I'll catch a cold from how much the doors open here,” Tony tried to deliver with a serious face.
“You mean you'd like to be locked in a safe? That's some weird kink. I thought we wouldn't get to that right after our first night together,” Geezer giggled before he was silenced by Tony's pillow.