Work Text:
I have to smile. That’s what I’ve always done; smile.
It's harder now.
It’s not like it was my fault.
Okay, so it was. I gave him the thing in Dipper’s backpack. I let him in.
And what did I do after that? I ran away to my own little fantasy world. I left everyone else in hell, while I had tea parties with gummy bears and yarn kittens.
Everyone was in pain and terrified, and it was my fault. I did that to them, and I can never make it up.
So what if I ended it? I didn’t even do that; it was Gruncle Stan and Gruncle Ford, and Gruncle Stan was almost gone forever because of me.
Even if it’s over, they had to live through it. They’ll never forget, so I can't either.
I can’t help them. I’m not the smart twin; I can't make the world a better place.
I can only be a distraction, entertain them.
Even if it hurts, even if I want to scream and cry, I have to smile, so they can.