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It was getting close to eleven-o-clock in the evening when Goro found himself in a bed that wasn’t his own. A few short minutes ago, he was close to falling asleep in the comfort of his own bed until Zero Two barged into Hiro’s and his room unannounced, requesting to sleep with her “Darling”. The atmosphere in the air was stifling enough for Goro to volunteer to give them some privacy, and Zero Two made the grand suggestion of them switching rooms for the night.
The blond shifted in the bed, trying to get familiar enough with his surroundings in order to fall asleep. Excluding furniture, Zero Two did not have much in her room, besides the deep scratches on the wall, a mirror, and a book that he didn’t dare touch. It was very quiet up here; the only sound that could be heard was the light rain against the window. Goro set his glasses down beside the lamp on the nightstand, attempting to rearrange the mess of bedding before turning out the light.
Meanwhile, Ichigo stood outside of her own bedroom. From the other side of the closed door, she could hear her fellow teammates inside, talking before winding down to go to sleep. Ichigo herself had just returned from her shower and brushing her teeth to get ready for bed. She stood in her nightgown, left arm crossing over her stomach to grip her opposite elbow. She nibbled on her lower lip, all signs showing that she was in conflict. Ichigo had been reflecting while alone in the shower. She knew that she and Zero Two had gotten off on the wrong foot. Not the first time, nor the second, third... the blue-haired girl could barely count them now. She knew that she still had every reason to still mistrust this unique pistil, but there were some truths that the calm, running water of her shower had made her aware of:
1.) Hiro truly cared about Zero Two, and she cared for him.
2.) Zero Two wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon, no matter how much Ichigo had fought it.
3.) Ichigo herself would have to work with Zero Two as a teammate. Teammates could only work together with a degree of trust.
4.) Holding onto a grudge (or more than one) wouldn't build that trust.
With a soft sigh, before she could talk herself out of it, Ichigo turned away from her own bedroom door. She wanted the best for her team; she was the leader, after all. This was the first step that she could take to fix things. She walked further down the hall, climbing some stairs before she stood outside of Zero Two's room. She lifted a hand, hesitated, and then knocked. As she knocked, the door actually pushed open; it surprised Ichigo, but she took that as her invitation to enter.
"Zero Two? Are you still awake? I wanted to-" Ichigo froze as her green-yellow eyes rested on a form in the bed. But that form was not Zero Two. It wasn't even female. It was that of her partner, Goro. A look of betrayal flitted across Ichigo's features.
Not him, too...
Goro was reaching over to turn off the lamp when he heard that all too familiar voice. For a split second, he felt a flutter of excitement; he wasn't expecting to see his partner this evening.
"Ichigo...?"
Noticing her blurry frame in the doorway, the boy quickly fumbled for his glasses, wanting nothing more than to clearly see her. When she fully came into view, panic hit him. She looked angry, and as he put together each piece, he could immediately figure out why.
"W-Wait! I-Ichigo! It's not what it looks...it's not what you're thinking--" He sputtered, the usually calm and collected stamen now stumbling over his words. The blond grabbed the covers, trying to quickly rip them off to go to her. He had to fix this; he couldn't have this happen.
Ichigo felt something in her chest when he said her name, but as Goro stumbled for words, just like all of the other boys when they were caught doing something that they shouldn't, Ichigo turned away. She turned to the side, not facing him entirely, leaning up against the frame of the door. Her body closed off to him, arms crossed firmly over her chest, eyebrows furrowed... it was rare to see Ichigo quite this angry. Or was it something else? Was she merely hurt by her discovery?
"And what am I thinking, Goro?" she challenged quietly; it would have been better if she had yelled. "It's okay, you don't have to lie to me. She really is very pretty. I just didn't think that she would get to you, too..." Ichigo knew how venomous her words sounded. It even hurt her to say them; she had thought that they would make her feel better. But why was she so angry? Why did she feel so betrayed? She shouldn't care what Goro did, even if it was with Zero Two. So why... Why did she feel a sharp twist in her chest and a nauseous weight in the pit of her stomach?
Goro made about two steps towards her when his feet suddenly felt like lead. Her words hit him like a ton of bricks. He knew exactly what she was thinking, and it made his stomach churn. No, he didn't like Zero Two. Ichigo knew whom he had feelings for. She knew, because he had told her. None of those thoughts, however, found their way out.
"Zero Two isn't here. She's with Hiro back in our room. I decided to swap with her to give them some privacy. That's the truth," Goro paused for a moment, "You think I would hurt Hiro like this?"
That made her stop. All of her anger, shrouding over her features like a mask, was stripped away at that question. It left her bare, open, and vulnerable. Her eyes widened in shock, mainly at herself. How could she have said such hateful things to Goro?
"N-No..." Ichigo managed to say, her voice wavering. Ichigo knew how close Hiro and Goro were. Ichigo also knew what kind of person Goro was. He always sacrificed what he wanted for the sake of others. Goro would never do something like what she had suggested. She took a shallow breath, looking down at the floor in her shame, her voice more clear this time. "No... No, you wouldn't. I... I'm sorry... That wasn't fair of me..." Ichigo sighed a deep breath, looking exhausted. What had Zero Two done to her, to make her act this way? She didn't like this version of herself, not if she was going to hurt the people that she cared about.
Goro felt a wave of relief wash over him as Ichigo expressed her change of heart. He had seen her angry before, but not that kind of angry, and certainly not directed towards him. The blond managed a small smile to show that there were no hard feelings. There could never be any hard feelings towards her.
"It's okay. I understand why you thought that, but no, I'm here by myself." He let out a nervous chuckle that he used as a defense mechanism. "So I'm afraid whatever it is you had to ask her will have to wait."
"What I had to—Oh, right. Well, it doesn't matter now anyways," Ichigo shrugged, trying to keep her reason for coming a secret. She couldn't possibly tell Goro that she had come up here to apologize to Zero Two. That was something that should happen, if it did, only between the two young women involved. Her body posture relaxed, tilting her head to the side with curiosity. "So, Zero Two is in your room with Hiro? That doesn't seem very fair to you. Wouldn't you want to be in your own room? Zero Two really isn't supposed to be switching on a whim like that..." Ichigo had half a mind to go down and break up their little sleepover. It wasn't fair that Zero Two got to do whatever she wanted, and Goro was kind enough to kick himself out of his own room to let Zero Two have what she wanted.
Goro smiled once more, waving his hands in front of him in protest. "Ichigo, it's okay. It's not a big deal. I don't mind." And that was the truth. Goro cared for Hiro like a brother, and he knew spending time with Zero Two was what would make him happy in that current moment.
Ichigo searched her partner's features as he spoke. He truly seemed all right with giving up his room for Zero Two and Hiro to spend some time together.
"Besides," Goro started, spinning to gesture to the entire space, "now I have a whole room to myself." Suddenly, a bright flash of lighting illuminated the room just before a loud thunderclap sounded, as if it acted as the period to Goro's sentence.
Ichigo sighed, just about to comment, when the flash of lightning made her stop cold. Ichigo let out a small squeak of fright as the thunder rumbled, taking a step towards Goro, as if she wanted to run towards him, like he would keep her safe. Her expression looked panicked. Should she run to her room? No, at this rate, with the storm building from outside, even the walk back to her room would be too much.
"U-Uhm... Goro?" Ichigo asked tentatively. A light blush had crossed her features, making her cheeks look pink and rather cute. "Do you, uhm... mind if I stay here? With you? Tonight?"
Goro blinked, instinctively wanting to pull her towards him and wrap his arms around her, but thought the better of it. The question surprised him, especially after she scolded Hiro and Zero Two. You and Ichigo aren't like Hiro and Zero Two, a small voice said in his brain. Still, he would protect her from anything and everything, thunderstorms included.
"Of course you can. Besides, I think with the wind, the rain would be hitting the side of the house that your room is on. It'd be quieter in here." The blond glanced over to the bed, cupping the back of his neck with his hand. "I can sleep on the floor, if you'd prefer." You and Ichigo aren't like Hiro and Zero Two, the thought resounded once more, refusing to go away.
Ichigo made a sound of dismissal with her mouth, walking fully into the room. "There's no need for that," she reassured, not seeing a problem with the arrangements. After all, they were always physically close in the FRANXX; this couldn't be any different, right? Ichigo walked to the bed, crawling up onto the opposing side, the one that Goro hadn't been occupying. She flopped down onto the pillow before burrowing herself under the covers. She looked expectantly at Goro, waiting for him to also get situated.
Goro watched her march on over and into the bed with all the confidence that he knew came with being a leader. That was his Ichigo, all right. As the girl shuffled her way to the side of the bed that was pushed against the wall, Goro took a moment to compose himself. He laid back down where he was previously resting on the opposite side, shimmying down under the covers. This was new territory for him. He knew Ichigo like the back of his hand, but had never been around her past curfew and bedtime. "Did you want to keep the light on?"
"Uhm..." Ichigo thought about it for a moment. "N-No, you can turn the light off, I think. Otherwise, it would be too light for either of us to get any good sleep, don't you think?" she chuckled. Quickly, as an afterthought, she sprung up in the bed. She carefully removed her hairclip--her new hairclip-- looking down at it with gentle affection. Goro watched with tender eyes as the girl reached over him to place her hairclip, the one he got her, on the nightstand for safekeeping. Then, the girl burrowed back into the covers.
"All right, now I'm ready," she announced, as if giving Goro permission to turn off the lights.
The blond eyed it for just a few moments before switching off the lamp, leaving the room to be dimly lit from the moon shining through the curtains. Goro rested his head down against the pillow, trying his best to keep his long limbs to himself in the very small bed.
"Hopefully you can catch Zero Two in the morning to tell her whatever it was you wanted to talk about." He tried to mention anything, anything at all to help distract his brain from his racing thoughts.
Ichigo wiggled around in the bed, trying to find the most comfortable position. She wanted to make sure that she was giving Goro his own space; she just hadn't realized how small the beds were when two people were occupying them. She finally decided to rest on her side, her hand gently cupping her cheek, as she answered him.
"I... I really don't have to find her. It really wasn't that important," she sighed, her eyes avoiding his.
Goro listened quietly. He didn't believe her for a second, but would always find a nice way to approach it. That's just how he was. "So you going out of your way in the middle of the night to speak to her was over nothing important?"
Ichigo was silent. She should have known that Goro would pick up on something; her tone, what she did, he always seemed to just know. Finally, she sighed, admitting defeat.
"I came to apologize," she admitted with an exasperated sigh, flopping roughly over onto her back. She stared up at the ceiling. This was the view that Zero Two saw every night; was she lonely, being up here by herself? No roommate to talk about her day with? Maybe that was the real reason why she was sneaking down to Hiro's room.
Goro's eyebrows rose upon hearing Ichigo's confession. "Wow....that's big," the blond started, deciding to mimic Ichigo and also lay on his back. "I know how hard that must be for you... What made you decide to do that?" Part of him was genuinely curious, but then a part of him thought that this might be a path that he shouldn't be going down.
Ichigo continued to stare at the ceiling. "I was just thinking today... about how it was clear that Zero Two isn't going anywhere. She and Hiro..." Ichigo breathed in deeply, held it for a moment, and then continued, "They both really care about one another. He's happy with her and... I want him to be happy." Even if it wasn't with me, Ichigo's own, small voice in her head told her, causing a sharp pain in her heart. Her hand moved, ever so slowly, up to her upper chest. It was a subconscious movement, as if it could ease that ache that she felt. "And Zero Two is part of our team. A valuable member of our team, and... She and I definitely didn't start out right," she chuckled. "And some of that was certainly her, but part of it was me. So I thought... I should come up and apologize, for my own part in it."
Goro ever so slightly turned his head to the side to watch her. "That's very impressive of you, Ichigo. I wouldn't expect anything less of our leader."
Ichigo hummed with a pleased smile as he complimented her. It was nice to hear Goro confirming that her action to apologize to Zero Two was the right thing to do.
The blond's olive eyes then wandered downwards, finding their way to her clutched hand. He felt his own heart twitch. "Especially since I... know how much you care for Hiro." His mind flashed to that memory he wished he could forget. That kiss he wasn't meant to see. That private moment that very much solidified what he always knew deep down, that he would never be above Hiro in her heart.
Ichigo’s calm demeanor changed as Goro brought up the sensitive topic of Hiro, or more specifically, the fact that Ichigo had feelings for Hiro. Ichigo started to bite her bottom lip, trying to figure out what to say. The ache was spreading. "Y-Yes... I... I do care about Hiro," she admitted before closing her eyes. She took another breath. "But... not as I did." She let the weight of her sentence sink in before she continued. "Like I said, I want Hiro to be happy. Zero Two is the person to make Hiro happy. So, for that reason, I want to support the both of them. I want to support Hiro in what he wants, what he dreams, and what makes him happy." The ache was still there, despite every word being true. "Even... if I was never going to be that person."
There. She had said it. She had said it aloud.
She felt her eyes well up with hot, unshed tears. She willed them away, willed them not to fall. Ichigo would keep staring up at the ceiling until they disappeared.
If it were any other person, they would’ve easily felt forgotten or angry, but not Goro. No, Goro knew exactly how Ichigo felt, and because of that, he couldn’t be mad at her. "It's… hard to admit you can't control another person's feelings. But it'll get better over time, I'm sure of it." Saying it aloud was almost a reassurance to himself, even if it did cause the pit in his stomach to grow bigger and bigger—despite the bitter irony of consoling the girl who didn't return his feelings over a boy who didn't return her feelings. Still, he'd always be there for her, no matter what. They could get through this together.
Ichigo hummed in confirmation, staying quiet for a while. She felt so lost in her own thoughts, and there really wasn't anything that she could do about them. Ichigo huffed, shifting her body, when the bare skin of her arm pressed against Goro's own upper arm. It was then that Ichigo noticed just how close she was to Goro. She froze. His skin was warm, the toned muscle underneath making it firm, much different than her own lithe arm. Suddenly, the bed felt too small. She had thought that she wouldn't have any problem being this close to Goro. After all, they were extremely close in their FRANXX. But this was completely different. "T-The bed is just so small!" she complained. "How do Zero Two and Hiro do it?!"
"Ehh?" Goro wasn't at all prepared for that question. He certainly knew the answer, or at least he had the visual within his brain. Tonight wasn't the first night that Zero Two snuck down to their room, so he'd seen it plenty before. "It's... well, they both lie on their sides and face the same way. It's kind of like puzzle pieces." He blushed in the darkness, imagining him and Ichigo in that position, though that reoccurring thought popped into his head once more, cutting it short—
You and Ichigo aren't like Hiro and Zero Two.
Completely oblivious to Goro's thoughts, Ichigo took him at his word. She flipped over onto her side, trying to figure out the placement of her body. Unfortunately, she didn't seem to be doing it correctly. Her position was as straight as an arrow, hands clamped by her sides. "So, they face away from each other... and fit like... like a puzzle? What do you mean?" she questioned.
"Ah, it's hard to explain. It's easier if I show you, I think." Goro chuckled nervously, taking a breath. "Lift your head for a second." He asked softly.
Ichigo slowly lifted her head, blushing a very light pink, like cherry blossoms in spring, as he placed his arm under her head. Eventually, she lowered her head, finding that his arm did fit very comfortably in that crook of her neck.
The blond scooted closer to her so that his chest was pressed up to her back and that his legs were brushing against hers. He hesitantly moved towards the final step, draping his right arm over her stomach. "Kind of like this."
Ichigo was worried that the bed would feel too small again, as it had before, as if she was suffocating. But thankfully, it didn't. It was close to being comfortable, but something wasn't quite right. She was now very aware of her body, and where hers was in correspondence to Goro's. She scooted her body back against his, as if they were missing something, feeling his strong chest press against her back. She could feel his own legs touching the back of her thighs, feet touching one another. But something felt lacking in the moment. Given, Ichigo's body wasn't in a relaxed state; but that wasn't something that she would have known. "You said that we're supposed to be like puzzle pieces? I don't quite understand... We aren't fitting together like a puzzle," she commented.
Upon listening to her words, Goro felt his heart sink. He was silent for a few moments before his words came out in a soft voice.
"Maybe we don't fit..."
That verbal confirmation out loud was all it took to have that little thought in Goro's head grow louder and louder—
You and Ichigo aren’t like Hiro and Zero Two.
It was that wishful thinking that caused his heart to take a beating over and over again.
Ichigo didn't know what it was about what Goro had said, but she suddenly found herself feeling incredibly sad. She felt like she wanted to reassure Goro, and the need to do it was urgent; it had to be done right away. But what could she say?
Ichigo bit at her lower lip once more, analyzing the situation from a slightly logical perspective. What was it that made Goro and her different from Hiro and Zero Two?
Suddenly, like a picture coming into focus, she could clearly understand. "N-No... it's... probably me." In her mind's eye, she could see every difference between her and Zero Two. "I-I'm... maybe if I had a form more like hers... I would... fit better..." Ichigo shifted her hips, trying to bend just a little more so that she would fit back against Goro's lap, almost as if she were sitting on it, in their sideways position. "I know that I'm not... really as... as curvy... as she is..." Something so trivial had never mattered to Ichigo before. They were all different for different reasons; who cared what they looked like, as long as they could each pilot their own individual FRANXX? But in this moment, Ichigo had never before felt such a distain for the way that her body had been designed.
"What? No, that doesn't have anything to do with it. You two are just different pieces..." Goro mused aloud. He thought Ichigo to be perfect, and he wanted her to think it too. "Maybe you're just not a curvy piece. Maybe you're an edge piece. Like a corner piece," The blond began, moving his right hand to poke her arm for emphasis. "Corner pieces are the most important, you know. Without the corner piece, the whole rest of the puzzle would have no foundation; it would all fall apart." That got Goro thinking, maybe he was an edge piece too. Edge pieces weren't like middle pieces. It could be done, but there were much fewer places to connect. Maybe that was the problem with him and Ichigo.
"An...edge piece..." Ichigo mused, thinking about it. Goro was right; she and Zero Two were different. But that didn't have to mean that Ichigo was inferior somehow. They simply served different purposes. The shape of her body didn't have anything to do with that. Zero Two acted recklessly and contained so much raw power, so much so that she defied orders regularly. This made her incredibly valuable, but also unpredictable. Ichigo was different; she was a leader. She needed to build a solid foundation for the rest of her teammates. She needed to be constant, to make logical decisions. She was the framework for the whole team to shine and be successful.
"Maybe you're right, Goro..." Somehow, her partner’s words made Ichigo feel a little more important and necessary. The thought was humbling, and maybe a little embarrassing. It caused Ichigo to flush once more, her body curling up, the base of her spine pressing against Goro's body more firmly. "H-here, I'll make it work," Ichigo claimed with a firm tone. She wriggled her body, willing herself to relax, to own some of her natural curve, as she settled back into Goro's body. Something started to click. Ichigo started to understand why she had moved towards Goro when the thunder and lightning had first started; she immediately felt safe and protected as Goro was curved around her body. There was something else that was reassuring about it, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.
"There. I knew that we'd fit," she whispered with pride, not knowing what sort of metaphorical message was loaded into those few, simple words.
"Yeah, we do." Goro felt his chest swell when everything seemed to click.
Ichigo couldn't help but smile at Goro's confirmation. They did fit. Something about that was very reassuring. She had always known that they made a great partnership, and it wasn't just their numbers. There was something else, and in this moment, Ichigo felt as if she could almost grasp on to whatever that thing was
Given how much shorter she was than him, she had to relax and scoot down just a little bit in order to fit into the shape of his body. The blond got momentary goosebumps, enjoying being able to feel his partner from his neck all the way down to his ankles. It was exhilarating.
Maybe, just maybe, they could be like Hiro and Zero Two.
Though, he'd been in this emotional position before, two times in fact, feeling one step closer to Ichigo, only to stumble and fall within Hiro’s shadow. The first time, all he could think to do in his young age was to give her a simple hairclip as a gift, but someone else by her side beat him to it. The second time, he risked everything to tell her his true feelings, but he had yet to receive an answer.
After the first two rides, he started to grow tired of the never-ending rollercoaster of his feelings. He needed to know if he should get off the ride once and for all, or ride to the top for the third and final time and take the plunge. After all, what was that phrase that Hiro taught them long ago?
The third’s times the charm.
After a few moments, he worked up the courage to break the silence.
"Ichigo, can I ask you something?"
Goro's question broke Ichigo out of her reverie. "Y-Yes...? Of course you can, Goro. What did you want to ask?"
Goro took a steady breath; this was it. Usually, the cool-headed stamen was well-spoken, but this was different. "I...I know I said I wasn't expecting an answer, and I don't, I'm not taking back what I said..." The blond felt his body tense up from the anxiety, "But, it'd...it'd make it a lot easier for me...whether it's a 'maybe' or a 'no', to have one." The boy knew full well 'yes' wasn't even an option. He wasn't blinded by his affections, so he didn't bother even putting it on the table.
As Ichigo heard her partner fumble through his question, she couldn't help but feel a clench in her heart, that familiar clench like before. But this one was one that she could identify. She had known that Goro felt this way about her, and somewhere, in the back of her mind, she had been expecting this question sooner or later. Now that it was here, and she could hear him fumble through it... even if she couldn't see him... her heart hurt for him. She now understood what that pain felt like, and she couldn't imagine the feelings that she had been putting Goro through. But Ichigo knew that she wanted to be honest with him, to tell him the truth. The problem was... what was Ichigo's truth?
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot on again." Goro added, shutting his eyes for a brief moment before opening them to the faint outline of Ichigo’s body that he could see in the dimly lit room.
Ichigo’s cheeks heated up, just as they had on the day where he had confessed. "N-No, uhm, y-you don't have to apologize! I just... I wasn't ready, I guess, f-for you to ask right then, uhm..." There were a few moments of silence while Ichigo got her thoughts together.
Goro held his breath; every second of silence that passed was one second closer to defeat. He could feel his whole body tense, his muscles yearning to shake. The ache in his stomach was unbearable, and the impending rejection would hurt more than anything that had happened up until this point combined. This was it though; this would be his last ride on the rollercoaster. After this, it would no longer be in operation.
"It's all right, Ichigo..." Goro's voice cracked at first, fighting his way through his incredibly dry throat. It hurt to even say her name. "I already know the answer. I get that you don't want to hurt my feelings, so you don't have to say." The thought of leaving came to his mind. Anywhere, even outside in the rain, would feel better. Yet, he remained frozen, unable to get his body to move.
"N-No!" Ichigo had yelled and was moving before she had even realized that she had done it. Ichigo whipped around, looking Goro in the face. The sudden exclamation and movement caused Goro to gasp. When she met him face-to-face, she was so close to him that it caused him to blush. As she searched his golden eyes, Ichigo recognized that there was so much obvious hurt there. And she had been the one to cause it. Why did she say "no?"
Slowly, she started to speak the words as she started to understand more about herself. Her mind was such a jumble, but as she spoke, she knew every word to be true. "I... I don't want to hurt you, Goro...!" Her voice broke mid-sentence. "I would hate myself for that... and as far as you h-having... feelings... for m-me... and wondering if I could return them... I... I feel like... I... I could. I certainly could. And I may..." she explained, referencing having feelings for him. "I just don't know! Everything is so confusing now. I just figured out what it means to care for someone like that, and with Hiro, it was all of these negative feelings! I figured it out through feeling jealous... that terrible, acidic feeling. And I thought that was what liking someone meant! I don't feel that nastiness in me when I'm with you—"
Ichigo froze. She had felt that. Only once. A little while ago. When she had walked in, and thought that Goro was involved with Zero Two. Was what she had felt... jealousy? But who was it because of? Was it because she didn't like Zero Two? Or was it because the idea of Goro being with someone else hurt her?
Expecting the worst, Goro got something very, very different. She could... She could? That made him a twinge hopeful, but no, he wouldn't let himself feel that. It wasn't an answer, yet again.
"So...you need more time?" The boy let out a sigh. He completely understood Ichigo's position, honestly, he did, but he was exhausted, so very exhausted. "Ichigo...I don't know how much longer I can last." He let his words hang before quickly adding, "And that isn't meant to guilt you, that's the last thing I want to do. It just...I'd rather get injured in a battle then keep feeling this kind of hurt. This kind lasts a lot longer."
Ichigo's expression changed to one of sympathy tinted over with pain; and he knew that she understood him for it. Her hand moved subconsciously to his forearm, as if the physical contact could bring him some comfort. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and focusing. It was very similar to what Goro might recognize that she did before they got into their FRANXX; it meant that she was focusing, and that she was serious.
Ichigo realized that it hadn't been Zero Two that she had been jealous over. The idea of Goro being with anyone else made her feel sad, as if she was in pain. When she thought of Goro, she felt warmth. She felt protected. Goro always seemed to know her, even when she didn't quite yet know herself. She hoped that ability of his would allow him to see into her heart and to believe her words. Ichigo realized it; this was it. This was the feeling that she had been looking for, the one that she had wanted with Hiro, but couldn't have. This was someone that she wanted this feeling with, who cared very deeply about her. She wanted it to be Goro.
When she opened her eyes, Ichigo looked earnest, determined, and maybe just a little bit affectionate. "Goro? I... I am willing to try. I want to try! I just... I don't exactly know what to do..." She looked down, some of her hair falling near her eyes. With that beautiful blush on her cheeks, Ichigo looked unbelievably sweet. "I know that... my feelings that I had for—" She choked. She couldn't say it. "—That I had... I know that they're decreasing. I don't feel the same as I did. But Goro?" She gained her courage and looked up into his eyes. "I don't want you to feel like you're a second pick! That's what I've been afraid of. I knew how much that would hurt you... and you deserve better than that. You deserve to be first!"
Goro listened, his whole world right now was the small girl in front of him. Every word she said seemed to slowly relax his body and melt the tension away. It was an overwhelming amount of warmth. His stomach flipped, causing a dry, singular sob to escape from his mouth. That was it; that was all that was needed to externalize the long stint of despair from his heart. Soon, it drifted into light, unsteady laughter. The chuckles were small and quiet as the corners of his eyes crinkled. He could feel small drops of tears gather at the brim, but they weren't from sadness.
"Well, with an answer like that, I feel like I'm in first."
At first, Ichigo was worried that she had said something wrong. She couldn't read the myriad of emotions that projected across Goro's features. But as he started to laugh—although she worried momentarily that they were hysterics—Ichigo could clearly see how happy Goro was with her response. Ichigo herself couldn't help but smile, letting out a relieved breath. She hadn't realized how much tension she had built up within her, until she felt that release. Suddenly, Ichigo felt more calm and sure of herself than she had in months. It was thanks to this boy in front of her. This amazing, loyal, smart, and—dare she notice—attractive boy in front of her. Overcome with emotion, Ichigo moved forward to hug Goro around his waist as best as she could. She pressed her cheek against his chest, closing her eyes as they embraced and laughed with one another.
Goro’s face lit up with a surprised smile as Ichigo made a move to embrace him. He wrapped his arms around her in return, resting his chin atop her head. This moment reminded him of the last time they were in this position, just after she saved him from self-destruction. Just like then, he also wanted to stay like this for a while.
Yes... he thought, we could be like Hiro and Zero Two.
That made him think of something.
"Ichigo?" He questioned, wanting to make sure she was still awake. "You said you'd try... Can I try one thing?"
"Hm?" Ichigo opened her eyes as she leaned her head back to look at him. She didn't move her arms from his body; she found that she liked them there. As her eyes met Goro's, she felt her heart do something new. It flipped within her chest, as if she was falling. And she was. Ichigo was falling for someone new. It was just a small rosebud of a feeling, like one of Kokoro's seedlings, but with some care, time, and patience, who knew what it could blossom into. "Of course, Goro," she replied innocently, her trust in him very apparent. "What is it?"
Goro swallowed down any feelings of nervousness. He could take the plunge. If they could be like Hiro and Zero Two, then they could do this. With tender fingers, Goro traced her jawline before settling under her chin. He gently tilted her chin to have her face upwards towards him, his eyes meeting her own of a very similar color. As Ichigo felt Goro's touch on her cheek, it was as if the strong leader had forgotten how to breathe. She felt vulnerable and nervous, but also entranced, like a snake caught in a charmer's spell. She didn't know what he was going to do, but as he lowered his face towards her, her stomach flipped over in an excited, nervous realization. She had done this twice before. She hadn't known what she was doing the first time, and the second time hadn't ended well. But this one would be different. It was Goro, after all. She was the one that was being cared for. And after all, what was that one saying Hiro taught them so long ago?
The third time's the charm.
Goro’s hands never left her as he leaned down. Closing his eyes just at the very last second, he placed a soft, lingering kiss onto her lips, wanting nothing more than to transfer his love to her. Ichigo willingly closed her eyes before she felt the soft, cool touch of Goro's lips on her own. The kiss, as sweet and innocent as it was, was dizzying to the young woman. How could so many feelings be conveyed in a single action? Hesitantly, she started to move her mouth against his, hoping that he would respond in kind.
Truth be told, Goro didn't know what he was doing. All he had to go on was what he had heard and seen. But when he felt Ichigo reciprocate, he lost his breath. Goro always considered himself a happy person, but never had he felt such a level of happiness before. It was beyond happiness, it was heavenly. The blond smiled into their kiss, unable to shield his joy from Ichigo any longer. His arms wrapped tighter around her, not wanting to ever let her go ever again. Especially not after experiencing what it was like to have her. As Goro deepened their kiss, Ichigo couldn't help but let out a small, surprised squeak as he pulled her close. She felt the boy's smile against her lips, felt the strength of his feelings in his arms; it was as if she could physically feel his happiness radiating from within him.
And it was all because of her.
What a humbling thought. It was a thought that made Ichigo incredibly happy herself. Her own lips turned into a smile as she kissed Goro. She had never felt like this before. This, she understood, was what a kiss should feel like. Ichigo hoped that she always remembered this as her first real kiss.
After a few long moments, Goro pulled back just enough to catch his breath. "How was that?" Goro's whispered words were only for her, his warm breath ghosting along her lips.
The young leader gasped in a rush of air. She had literally forgotten to breathe. Her chest rose and fell heavily against Goro's own chest, pressed so tightly that if Ichigo concentrated, she could feel his heartbeat. She hoped that part of him was happy, too. As he asked his question, she didn't know how to respond. How could she possibly summarize all of what she had thought into a few, simple words?
"Amazing..." she whispered in awe, her cheeks coloring over with flushed embarrassment. She pulled one hand away from his body to tuck her hair behind her ear. "I've...never experienced something like it..."
"Heh," Goro let out a small, hushed chuckle. He wasn't expecting an answer as good as that. The blond angled his chin upwards in order to rest it atop of Ichigo's head once more. "I think that's what love is supposed to feel like." He replied, slowly closing his eyes.
Goro didn't just think, he was certain. After watching Hiro and Zero Two, and even Mitsuru and Kokoro, he knew that this is what mutual love must feel like, an overwhelming amount of warmth, awe, and happiness. It looked like he was wrong; him and Ichigo could be like Hiro and Zero Two.
Goro opened his eyes once more, a small smile spreading across his face.
No. They could be like Goro and Ichigo.