Work Text:
To be perfectly honest, Alex wasn’t entirely sure why he’d started hanging out with the jocks. After he’d published the ‘hot or not’ list he’d been seen as something like a hero by most of the guys in the school. Bryce Walker had taken a particular interest in him and Alex had found himself being invited to exclusive parties and to hang out in Bryce’s pool house.
He couldn’t say he enjoyed it exactly, being with the jocks went against pretty much everything he believed in. It wasn’t exactly like he could be picky about who his friends were though- Hannah and Jess weren’t exactly talking to him and he guessed being with egotistical idiots like Bryce Walker and Monty De la Cruz was better than being completely alone.
They weren’t all bad either. Jeff Atkins was a pretty decent guy and Justin Foley was actually kind of sweet when he wasn’t hanging around Bryce too much. They weren’t the reason Alex stayed though.
Zach Dempsey. The boy was a complete mystery to Alex. They weren’t exactly close but Alex secretly enjoyed every conversation he had with Zach. He was sweet, caring, and dorky, with an amazing sense of humour. At first, Alex couldn’t understand why someone like Zach wanted to spend time with people like Bryce and Monty. After a while though he realised that Bryce had some sort of hold over Zach, in a similar way that he did with Justin, and that maybe Zach wasn’t as happy and confident as he made out to be.
The only reason Alex turned up to any of these parties or gaming sessions was to spend time with Zach, which was why he was pissed off when he arrived at Bryce’s pool house one day at the beginning of summer after sophomore year to find out that Zach wasn’t there.
“Where’s Dempsey?” he asked Justin as he flopped down beside him on the couch.
Justin shrugged, his eyes fixed on the TV screen. “Dunno. He texted to say he was coming. His Mom is probably making him take his sister somewhere or something.”
Alex nodded, drumming his fingers on the arm of the couch. “You sure?”
Justin sighed, his eyes flicking to Alex for a moment before he shoved a controller at him. “Oh my god Alex.”
Alex slumped down in his seat, moodily stabbing the buttons on the controller. What was even the point in being here if Zach wasn’t around? He looked up as Bryce stood in front of him, blocking his view of the TV. “What’s up with you Standall?” he asked as he downed the remainder of his bottle of beer.
“He’s pissed off because Zach’s late” Justin said. Alex’s cheeks were burning with embarrassment as Justin smirked and Monty snickered.
“Didn’t realise you were in love with Zachy” Bryce said, his smile almost triumphant like he’d found a bargaining chip to use against Alex. “I’m sure you guys would make a really cute couple.”
“Fuck off” Alex muttered. “I don’t even really care if he’s here or not, just didn’t think it was like him to not turn up.”
He winced as Bryce patted him roughly on the shoulder. “Chill out Standall, it was just a joke. How about I get you a beer?”
Alex scowled, sliding further down the couch as Bryce laughed again. Why the fuck was he even here? He was starting to think that even the prospect of being near Zach wasn’t worth spending time with these idiots. Justin nudged him, looking guilty. “Sorry” he said quietly. Alex sighed, it was hard to be angry with Justin when he was looking at him with those puppy dog eyes. “Fancy a game of GTA?” Justin asked hopefully.
“Ok” Alex said, giving Justin a small smile. He figured that as he was here, he might as well stay- it was better than spending the rest of the day bored in his room. Maybe he could distract himself from thinking about Zach, Bryce might have claimed to be joking but Alex was shaken by his accusation that he was in love with Zach. Surely he wasn’t in love with Zach? He still barely knew the guy. He shook himself out of his thoughts and picked up the controller.
Alex was so immersed in his game that he missed Jeff’s first attempt to get everyone’s attention. “Guys” Jeff said again, and this time there was something in his voice which made everyone shut up and take notice. Jeff held up his phone, a news article displayed on the screen. Alex stood up and moved closer to get a better look. ‘CRASH KILLS FATHER OF TWO, 21 YEAR OLD MAN IN CUSTODY’ screamed the headline. Below was a photo of a car, the passenger side completely crushed. Alex felt a sense of dread wash over him. He recognised the car, he’d been in it a few times. “No…”
“Zach and his Dad were in an accident” Jeff said. “They’re saying Mr Dempsey didn’t make it.”
There was complete silence. Alex felt sick. The news that Zach’s Dad was dead was horrifying. He’d really liked Mr Dempsey on the few times he’d met him. He couldn’t even imagine how Zach must be feeling.
Bryce took a swig of beer. “Shit” he said, breaking the silence. “That sucks. Mr Dempsey was pretty cool.”
Alex’s mouth dropped open in shock. “That sucks? Is that seriously all you’re going to say? Your best friend’s Dad just fucking died, Bryce! You don’t even look like you care. Don’t you want to see how Zach is? Offer some fucking support?”
Bryce raised his hands. “Geez Standall, chill out. Zach will be fine, he’ll be with his Mom and sister. He doesn’t want me to coddle him- trust me, I know him.”
Alex’s hands were shaking with anger. He tried to make eye contact with Justin but the other boy was staring at his feet. He then turned to Jeff who just shook his head slightly, shrugging his shoulders in defeat. Alex couldn’t believe that no one was prepared to stand up to Bryce, not even to support their friend. He knew that Jeff and Justin cared but that they were too afraid to admit it in front of Bryce.
“Fuck you Bryce” Alex spat. “I’m done.” He turned and stormed out of the pool house, slamming the door behind him.
He got into his car and spent a few minutes just breathing deeply, trying to calm himself down. He knew Bryce was a dick and that he was self-absorbed, but he hadn’t realised how little he actually cared about his friends.
God, Zach…
Alex took out his phone, his finger hovering over Zach’s name. Should he text him? Everything was still so fresh but at the same time Alex wanted Zach to know he had someone to talk to if he needed.
To: Zach
Hey, I just wanted to say that I’m here if you need anything.
He bit his lip as he pressed send and then chucked his phone onto the passenger seat. That was all he could do for now.
***************************
Alex was watching TV when his Father came home from work that evening. Alex craned his head round as he heard the door shut. His Dad didn’t normally offer up any information about incidents he’d dealt with but Alex still hadn’t heard from Zach and he was desperate to find out if his friend was ok.
“Dad” he called. The door creaked open and his Dad poked his head round.
“I know what you’re going to ask” he said before Alex could say anything. “You know the Dempsey boy? Zach, right?”
“Yeah” Alex replied. “We’re friends I guess. We’re not that close but I like him. Is he ok?”
His Dad sighed, walking into the room and sitting down next to him. “Physically, yes. He was driving so he didn’t get the full force of the impact. He’s got a broken arm and a few cuts and bruises. Emotionally though, it’s hard to say. Something like that… well, it’s going to take a while for him to recover. The idiot who drove into them was three times over the limit.”
Alex ran his hand through his hair. “God.”
His Dad patted his shoulder before standing up. “It’s good Zach’s got friends like you, I imagine he’s going to need you.”
Alex could only nod as his Dad left the room. He stared blankly ahead for a few minutes until his phone buzzed. He scrambled for it, his shoulder’s slumping with relief when he saw he had a message from Zach. He quickly opened it.
From: Zach
Thanks, Alex. That means a lot.
Alex didn’t reply. Now that Zach knew that he was there if he needed him, Alex knew he needed to give Zach space to grieve. It didn’t stop him thinking about Zach all night though.
**********************
It was two days before Zach texted him again. Alex was lying on his bed reading a comic when Zach’s name lit up the screen.
From Zach:
Are you free? I was wondering if you could come round?
Alex’s fingers flew across the keyboard.
To: Zach
I’ll be there in 15.
Exactly 15 minutes later Alex was standing outside Zach’s front door, his stomach twisting. What did you even say to someone who’s Dad had just died? What if he fucked it all up? He shook himself. Zach had asked him to come. Alex was just going to let him take the lead and just do whatever Zach needed him to do.
He knocked and a few seconds later Zach opened the door. He looked completely different from the Zach Dempsey Alex was used to. He looked smaller and paler, his right arm was in a cast and his eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Alex could feel his heart breaking. “Hey” Zach said, sounding exhausted. “Come in.”
Alex followed Zach into the house. Zach led him to the living room and sank down on the couch, slumping forwards, his left arm resting on his knee. Alex gingerly sat down next to him, unsure of what to do. “How are you doing?” he asked gently.
Zach shook his head. “I don’t even know. This doesn’t seem real. My Dad’s just gone. He was always my biggest supporter, he got me into football and basketball. He never missed one of my games, always told me how proud he was.”
Alex placed his hand on Zach’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. “Sounds like he was a pretty great Dad.”
Zach nodded. He suddenly looked up and Alex was taken aback by the intensity of the grief and pain in his eyes. “I was driving.”
“Zach…”
“No listen Alex. I was driving and normally I’m so fucking careful but this time I must have missed something. Maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention.”
Alex shook his head firmly. “Zach, the other driver was drunk and he was speeding. It was his fault not yours- you can’t blame yourself for this.”
Zach bent his head again and Alex watched as his tears splashed onto his jeans. “How come I’m alive and he’s dead?” Zach choked out. “How the fuck is that fair?”
Alex didn’t have an answer for that, he didn’t think there was an answer. Instead of speaking, he shuffled closer to Zach and tentatively placed his hand on his back rubbing soothing circles as Zach cried. They sat like that for a while, the silence broken only by Zach’s sniffles and occasional sobs.
Eventually Zach rubbed roughly at his face before raising his head. “Sorry” he sniffed. “I didn’t mean to break down like that.”
“What? Shit, you don’t need to apologise Zach. You have a right to be upset. You need to grieve.”
Zach ran his hand through his hair. “Coach Patrick came to see us yesterday. He offered to help out for a bit and check in on us. He told me I’m the man of the house now, that I need to be strong for Mom and May. He said I shouldn’t let them see me upset.”
Alex stared at him in shock. He’d always thought there was something off about Coach Patrick and now he knew that it was because he blatantly lacked compassion. “That’s bullshit” he said angrily.
Zach shrugged. “He’s helping me though” he said tiredly. “I need all the help I can get. I don’t even know how Mom feels, she’s just been going on like nothing’s happened- she’s barely mentioned Dad. It’s up to me to look after May.”
Alex reached over and squeezed Zach’s knee. “I can help too” he told him. “I mean, if you want.”
Zach rested his hand over Alex’s. “Thanks” he said. “And thanks for coming over, you’re- uh- you’re the only one who has.”
Alex frowned. “Seriously?”
“Justin and Jeff texted asking if I was ok. I know Justin’s got a lot going on though and Jeff’s really busy so I don’t want to bother them.”
“What about Bryce?” Alex asked. He really hoped that he was somehow about to be proved wrong, that Bryce would somehow surprise him.
Zach bit his lip. “I actually haven’t heard from Bryce.”
Alex could feel his anger boiling up again. “I can’t believe him! What a fucking dick!”
“It’s ok Alex” Zach said. “It’s not really his kind of thing. He cares in his own way.”
Alex highly doubted that that was the case but he wasn’t about to start arguing with Zach. “Do you want me to stay with you? We can play some video games if you want?”
Zach shook his head. “Thanks but I’ll be ok. My Mom and May will be back soon, my Aunt just took them out for a couple of hours.”
They both stood up and Zach walked Alex towards the front door. “Thanks again” Zach said.
“Anytime” Alex replied. They looked at each other for a moment before Zach pulled Alex into a tight hug. Alex hugged him back just as tightly, trying to provide as much comfort as he could.
It felt like something had shifted in their friendship, like there was a sudden closeness and understanding that hadn’t been there before. Alex had no idea if it would last. As much as he wanted to spend all his time with Zach, their social group was so complicated that Alex knew it would create problems if he and Zach grew closer.
Zach deserved so much better but after today Alex thought he had a better understanding of why Zach stayed so close to the other jocks and why he was friends with Bryce. Zach was lonely, he realised, and as much as Alex wanted to fix that, as much as he wanted to hold Zach close for as long as possible and make everything better, he knew he couldn’t. He didn’t think Zach was ready for that. Alex was still basically an outsider, part of the group until the others got bored of him. Whilst he was still there though, he could be a silent ally to Zach though, letting him know that he cared.
Alex was jolted out of his thoughts as Zach pulled away. Zach tried to smile but failed and Alex’s heart squeezed with pain. “I guess I’ll see you at Bryce’s sometime” Zach said.
Alex nodded. “Unless you want to come round to mine. I mean, you’re welcome whenever you want.”
“I might take you up on that” Zach said, this time managing a small smile.
Alex squeezed Zach’s shoulder once more before walking back to his car. He looked back when he reached it and saw Zach still watching him from the doorway. His heart skipped a beat. He lifted his hand and waved, and Zach waved back. Alex didn’t know how Zach felt about him, but he was starting to care deeply for Zach. Maybe Bryce of all people was right. Maybe he was falling in love with Zach. That didn’t matter right now though.
He knew it would take a long time, but he hoped Zach would be ok. All Alex knew was that he was going to do his best to make sure that he would be and that Zach would never feel like he was completely alone.