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2D could admit he had a tendency to let his mind wander. It was a rarity that the middle aged man was not lost in thought. If they had a gig the next night, he’d worry about where he was going to stand on stage. If he had an idea for a song, he’d think of the lyrics for the rest of the day. If he’d forgotten to brush his teeth one morning, he’d worry about the possibility of cavities through each meal.
There never seemed to be a second of the day where he could just relax and not have to ponder about a certain subject. Tonight was no different. At first, he’d been stressing over Murdoc’s inevitable return to the band and how his life would become a living hell again. Then he began to think about his replacement : Ace.
Ace had been their replacement bassist for a good amount of time by this point. They’ve recorded songs together, filmed music videos, attended photoshoots and interviews, and has casually hung out with each of the bandmates.
Even though his stay so far has been short, 2D could say without a doubt he preferred him over Murdoc. Ace was the definition of chill, with a slight edge to him. That edge being unexpected rebellious tendencies that probably resulted from how he was in his youth.
He still recalled the day he stole Russel’s sandwich, and when asked about it he simply replied, “Hey man, it’s dangerous to leave delicious things unattended around me.” Aside from that aspect and his infatuation with his pocket knife, Ace was a godsend angel compared to the demon that was Murdoc.
He no longer needed to ready himself for a beating or an insult, he no longer had to hide how he really felt about things. He also found himself laughing more, smiling more, even feeling more confident in himself and his music ever since Ace joined the band. Did he really have that kind of affect on him? Or was Murdoc’s presence really dragging him down more than he had originally realized. Whatever it was, he was loving and enjoying every minute of it.
He never wanted Ace to leave.
But, he knew one day he would have to.
One day, all their relaxation, their carefree days, and sanity would be ripped away by the hands of that green devil. He could hear his horrid laugh and smell his disgusting stench at the very thought of his return. 2D could imagine it now, them picking him up from the jail and returning home only for him to kick Ace out to the curb and resume his abusive habits. Can they really stick together with Murdoc in the band. He’d driven them apart so many times before, he didn’t want to lose his family. And where would Ace go? Would he ever find another band to join? Or would he have to return to his life in Townsville and they would never see him again. What would become of Gorillaz?
2D sat up in his bed and sighed, dragging his hands down his baggy eyes. This was dangerous, letting his mind wander. Especially when it came to thinking about Murdoc. The very thought of that man made him sick to his stomach. He reached for the book on his night stand and opened it to a random page. He’d been keeping a notebook as of late for song writing, but some pages had fallen victim to his inner thoughts. He scribbled quickly on a page in an attempt to calm himself down, but as the words and images in his mind manifested before him he felt tears well in his eyes and the pace of his heart quicken.
This was too much, he needed to smoke.
2D stuffed the notebook under his pillow and grabbed for the cigarette box that lay on his nightstand. Fumbling tiredly out of bed, he headed into the hallway and out the backdoor to where he usually smoked. As he opened the door, he was shocked to see Ace standing only a few feet away looking up at the sky, a visible line of smoke rising from in front of him. It appeared they had the same idea.
When he shut the door Ace turned quickly to see who was there. A grin grew as he saw 2D and he removed the cigarette from his mouth.
“Stu!” He said happily, a line of smoke exiting through his sharp teeth as he did so, “come to join me I see?”
Ace pointed to the box in 2D’s hand and he nodded slightly.
“Yeah, I can’t sleep.” He admitted, reaching into the box to pull one of the sticks out.
“You know, if you want to spend time with me alone all you have to do is ask.” He joked, offering the end of his own cigarette to light his own.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” 2D said with a soft smile and pressed his cigarette against the end of Ace’s.
Once it was lit he took a long drag and exhaled the smoke with a sigh. Ace raised his brows at him, but kept quiet and stood next to him. He was glad he wasn’t alone, having Ace next to him kept his mind from wandering too far again. He’d only taken two more long puffs before Ace chimed in again.
“Ok, I know you by now, Stu. You only smoke when you’re either stressed or worried about somethin’.” Ace didn’t look at him, but his gaze was looking up at the night sky instead, “What’s eatin’ at you?”
2D stiffened and looked down. Could he be truthful with Ace about how he felt about Murdoc? From what he understood Murdoc considered him a friend, so if he spoke about his hatred for the man openly would Ace tell him what he said? Would Ace side with Murdoc?
That all seemed highly unlikely, given every time the bandmates spoke ill of their detained bassist Ace always seemed to laugh or agree with some of their comments.
2D wanted to put his trust in Ace, given that he liked him so much already. He was ready to be honest with him, and open. It would be a test of some sorts he supposed.
“Are you worried about the plane ride tomorrow? Cause I promise you, planes are more scared of you than you are of em’.”
“Murdoc, actually…”
“Oh?” Ace’s tone changed and he eyed 2D. “Why you thinkin’ about ol’ Doc? I know he’s in prison, but the guards won’t let anythin’ happen to such a popular guy.”
“I’m not worried about him in prison, no. I’ve been thinking about what will happen once he gets out… when you have to leave.”
Ace grew silent and he removed the cig from his mouth. 2D kept his gaze down, his pitch black eyes staring at the ground below. He was frightened to look at Ace’s reaction to what he was saying, so he kept on avoiding eye contact as to not lose his bout of honesty he was currently spilling.
“It’s all I have been thinking about ever since you’ve joined. Things have been so… nice lately. You have no idea what kind of hell that man put me through on a daily basis. With you it’s different. Things are better, for all of us. It really does feel like we’re a family again for the first time in a very long time. Murdoc always drew us apart…” He took a drag from the cigarette and decided to look at Ace briefly, “but you…”
The smoke and words left his mouth as he stared into Ace’s eyes. He was listening to him intently, an unreadable expression displayed across his face. But something about the look gave him confirmation that he understood where he was going.
“You know…” 2D mumbled.
“You sayin’ I’ve made things better for you guys?”
2D simply nodded and Ace pressed his palm against his forehead.
“Geez, you were all worse off with Doc than I thought. The guy can be a real ass, but I never realized how much he affected ya.”
“He’d call us names, insult our music, take his anger out on us- er, well… me specifically…” 2D barely mumbled the last part, almost feeling ashamed to admit that to Ace.
“Gosh Stu…” Ace tapped his foot, “That’s awful.”
“It was. I may have seemed distant ot hesitant about meeting you and being around you the first few weeks. Given you were a friend of Murdocs, I was unsure if… well, you get the idea I think.”
“I would never do that kind of stuff, okay Stu.” Ace’s voice was stern and reassuring.
“I know that now. I figured that out for awhile now after seeing how things are now.”
“Hm…” Ace hummed with the cig between his lips, “You know what’s funny? Where I’m from I only seemed to make things worse, pretty funny hearing I’ve seemed to make things better around here.”
“You have. At least, for me you have.”
Was it weird to say that? 2D didn’t care. It was too late and he was exhausted from his previous thoughts to worry anymore. However, a light grip on his shoulder and a few assuring pats settled his mind.
“You’re a big ol’ sap, Stu. But I do appreciate that. I don’t really feel as though I bring much to the table, but hey if it at least makes you happy by the end of the day I’ll keep doin’ what I’m doin’ then.” Ace took one last drag and then snuffed his cig out in a puddle next to him.
2D smiled weakly and sat on the door steps behind him. He figured he’d be outside for another few minutes or so, and expected Ace to leave at this point. However, he was surprised when the bandmate took a seat next to him, continuing to stare up the sky above. 2D looked up along with him, but could only see clouds covering the night sky. Aside from that, the moon occasionally peeked out from hiding. Looking back down at Ace now, he observed how the moonlight reflected off his pink tinted eyes. He didn’t seem tired at all compared to him, rather wide awake instead. He must be used to staying up late. He was wearing his pajamas, but his smooth backed hair told him he hadn’t even laid in bed yet.
He still looked as good as he did during the day. How did he do it?
2D turned away and laid his chin on his arms as he crossed them against his knees. He was relieved Ace took everything he said so calmly. He’d only hoped he’d gotten how he really felt across to him. Ace had a tendency to not always take things too seriously. Usually in an attempt to keep things light hearted and fun for everyone. Perhaps he really was just very accepting and open to what people said to him. It was one of the many traits he found likeable about him, even to the other bandmates. Even if he pushes their buttons every once in awhile, none of it is with evil intention. He can tell Ace genuinely wants them to be happy and be their friend.
“It’s funny,” 2D started as he finished off the last of the cigarette, “I’ve been imagining other things too.”
“Like what?” Ace asked.
“You. Staying with us permanently. Murdoc never coming back and it’s just you. Playing alongside us at every show, making new albums together, just being with us from now on.” 2D’s hand moved up and down rhythmically as he spoke. He had no idea why that suddenly came out of him, it felt like so much to admit to Ace.
“Pretty funny, right?” He asked with a shy smile, as he put the cig out in the same puddle Ace had, “How I’ve only known you for such a short period of time and already prefer you over Murdoc entirely?”
Ace looked at 2D with wide eyes, caused by surprise and admiration in response to what 2D had just told him. The guy really liked having him around didn’t he? Obviously if he was spewing all this out to him at once. It was a lot for him to take in, but he grinned and rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.
“Dang, Stu. You really put me on quite the pedestal. Hearin’ that from someone I used to look up to when I was younger, you have any idea what you’re doin’ to my heart, dear Stuart.” He said dramatically, leaning against his shoulder briefly to add to the drama.
2D nudged him away playfully and couldn’t help but let a chuckle escape his toothless smile.
“I’m serious. I don’t care if you used to be a trouble-making ex-gangster as teen. No matter how you see yourself, to me you’re a good person. You’re good for this.. band…” He’d trailed off, but figured Ace may not notice.
“Heh, thank you. I’m really tryin’ to do my best for you guys. Happy to hear it’s payin’ off.”
“I have no doubt you’ll continue to be a great Gorillaz member through and through.” 2D let himself lean back against the stairs and he sighed. Not with exhaustion, but with ease.
Ace continued to sit up, however, giving 2D a view of the illuminated sky silhouetting his figure before him. He hadn’t realized it till now, but the clouds that had been covering the sky had cleared. A now starry filled sky rose before them, along with a full moon. The light from it all cast a shiney outline of Ace’s body, allowing him to see his slicked back hair and lightly dressed figure. Watching his shoulders rise up and down as he breathed only put himself further into a calm state. He truly felt comfortable when Ace was around, it honestly scared him. At least, that’s what he assumed the feeling in his heart was.
“Thank you, for listening.” He let a hand set on Ace’s shoulder as a kind gesture.
In return, he felt Ace’s own hand settle on his. He gave it a few pats before letting it lay on top of it.
“Nah, thank you. But, anytime, ya hear? You can always find me at night.”
2D took in his offer and hummed an “mhm”. Letting his hand slip away, he set it against his chest and looked back up at the stars once more. He felt tired again, but this time from sleepiness rather than his negative thoughts. He closed his eyes with relief in knowing he’d be able to sleep soundly for once tonight, especially since they had to travel tomorrow.
He thought back to one sentence in particular he’d told Ace, about how he was good for the band. He’d stopped himself before he could admit that Ace was good for him too.
Perhaps he could save that for another day, when he found the right words to say it properly.
For now he could just let his thoughts continue to run and imagine things once more. Mostly about their trip tomorrow, or what he might have for breakfast, or what Ace might wear tomorrow...