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When Tony was a kid, he didn't understand soulmarks or the dates that came with them. The marks only told you that you had someone special. The numbers told you when you were born, and when you died - how many times you died. Tony had around twelve death days.
Except that Tony didn't have anyone special, not really - because his soulmate was, apparently, dead. According to Aunt Peggy, both of them were.
Steve Rogers and James Barnes. They had both died during World War 2.
Guess Tony wasn't cut out for love - just like his father told him his entire life.
-----
That was what he thought up until Peter was born.
When Peter was born, he became Tony's reason to live, the light of his life. The only thing that troubled Tony was how many deaths Peter had.
Guess that was another thing Peter inherited from his failure of a father.
It didn't matter that Peter would try to soothe his worries when he got older, and it didn't matter that Tony would still blame himself. It just didn't matter.
-----
Tony never liked his parents growing up. His father was, to be frank, an abusive asshole. His mother was neglectful in a way that only a mother could. No matter what he did, he couldn't make them happy.
Ignore the fact that he was unwanted, and the fact that his parents were without soulmates, forced into a marriage so that they could pass on their legacy.
Maybe it wouldn't have been such a terrible experience if Tony had a sibling. He couldn't know though - it was in the past.
-----
Peter's soulmark was a flaming katana and pistol in the form of crossbones. It was such a stark contrast from Tony's light blue triquetra, but it didn't bother him. As long as Peter's soulmate was healthy, Tony would be happy for his son.
He ignored the dreadful thought of, What if Peter's soulmate is dead, too?
-----
It was in Afghanistan that his second and third death dates came to pass. One for when his heart stopped from the shrapnel, and one for when he almost drowned from the waterboarding.
When Peter arrived in the cave over a month after Tony's capture, of course, he would know. That's just how Peter was. It didn't mean he asked though. Maybe that was for the best.
It probably wasn't.
-----
Rhodey was the first person he told about his dead soulmates.
Rhodey, being the best friend he was, understood and helped Tony through the terrible days, and stayed through the bad. There were almost never any good.
-----
Howard Stark was the first person to find out about Tony's soulmark. Of course, he was - he was Tony's father. He didn't warm up to it though.
It did, however, give him hope that either one or both of the dead men were still out there. The more likely one was Rogers, so Howard went for him.
The fact that his father used him to make sure the mark was still there was enough for Tony. Almost.
-----
When the news that Steve Rogers was found in the ice, Tony was almost ecstatic.
When Peter asked him about Rogers, Tony didn't know what to tell him. Peter beats him to it.
"He's your soulmate, isn't he? Aunt Peggy told me."
Tony had no idea what right Peter possessed to be that smart. He guessed it was in the Stark genes.
He chuckles hollowly. "I wish I could be the soulmate he wants me to be."
Peter scowls at him. "Daddy, you're doing it again."
"Sorry, Peter. I'll try to be better."
They both know that's an almost lie. But there's an almost there, so Peter is going to help his father get better, one way or another.
-----
The first time Tony dies is when he's twenty-one. It's a failed assassination attempt.
He's shot in the chest, the bullet grazing his heart before passing all the way through.
The paramedics save him in time. He almost wishes they didn't - he has nothing, no one to live for anyway.
-----
Peter is there when Tony meets Steve for the first time.
Peter is there when Tony caves and ends up introducing himself as "Tony Stark, son of Howard Stark," instead of "Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes' soulmate."
Tony knows Peter wants to sigh in frustration. He knows that Peter wants to slap him for being an idiot adult.
He knows he's not insane when Peter mutters, "Adults are gross, and adults are idiots."
-----
"A triquetra is a sign of unity," Peggy told Tony once. "And Steve and Bucky were definitely the most unified people in the force."
Tony can't help but feel a little depressed at that, but Peggy continues before he's able to go down that road of thought.
"Even still, they always said something was missing. I suppose that something was you," Peggy says. "You're their missing link."
"But how?" Tony asks with a quivering voice. "They're both dead. I'm only eight."
"Well, the fact that your mark hasn't faded or turned black proves that they're alive - both of them," Peggy said. "Besides, a triquetra has three parts, not just one, or two. You need all three to be able to complete it."
Tony really hopes that what Peggy said is true.
-----
Tony has to admit that Steve fills part of a gaping hole inside his chest. He doesn't know if it's the same way for Steve, but he wants to try something with Steve - even if it doesn't work out.
Tony goes to Peter for advice - because for some reason his ten-year-old son has better relationship advice than most seasoned adults.
"Talk to him seriously," Peter says. "Talk to him as Steve Rogers, your friend. Not Captain America your teammate."
"Do you think that'll really work?" Tony says with something almost close to hope.
"Well, don't be Tony Stark the conceited billionaire," Peter says with amusement in his voice.
"That's all I know how to be, kid," Tony replies dryly.
This time Peter takes a minute to laugh. When he's calm, he says, "Be the Tony Stark that's my father. You know, the human being with friends and family."
Tony takes Peter's advice to heart. It helps - more than one would think.
-----
"Steve Rogers and James Barnes were good men," Howard says when Tony asks about them. His tone is off though, almost as if he's rubbing it in Tony's face. Even still, he continues. "Barnes was gone first. He fell into a ravine during a mission. It broke Steve's heart."
Soulmarks were still a new part of human evolution, so scientists hadn't figured out all the kinks. That included how you knew your soulmate was dead.
"Life is funny like that," Howard says. "Be glad you don't have to go through that kind of pain for a while yet."
Tony doesn't think it was all that funny. He knows his father doesn't either.
Neither of them was laughing.
-----
It takes several months, the whole thing with Killian, Pepper breaking up with him, and another push from Peter before Tony talks to Steve about anything.
It's a Sunday morning a week before Christmas. The formerly-known-as-Stark Tower was now called Avengers Tower, where anyone on the Avengers team could stay in between missions if they had nowhere else to go. It was usually just Tony and Peter, but Natasha, Steve, and Bruce swung by every now and then.
It just so happened that Steve had been staying at the tower through Christmas.
The interaction goes a little something like this.
"Good morning, Steve."
"Stark. Surprised to see you up this early." Steve's face contorted for a moment. "Wait, no. I'm surprised to see you out of your lab this early. Peter isn't even up yet."
"Actually, I wanted to talk," Tony said, pulling up a seat.
Steve put down the newspaper he had been reading. "Oh yeah? What did you want to talk about?"
"I really hope this doesn't come out as rude, or mean, or harsh, but here we go," Tony said, mostly to himself. "I want to try a relationship with you."
Steve was speechless - for about five seconds.
"Where is this coming from?" Steve asked. "This isn't some sort of joke is it?"
Something in the back of Tony's mind wants him to laugh it off and say, "Yeah. Sorry, that was crazy stupid of me."
But if he did that, then Peter would eventually find out - that kid found everything at some point. So instead, he grit his teeth and said, "We're soulmates. I have the mark to prove it."
Steve's reaction is as one would expect. "What?"
It vaguely reminds Tony of his own reaction to Mary's announcement of her pregnancy with Peter.
Steve quickly follows up with, "So you're the one Peggy told me about?"
"Yeah," Tony replies weakly. "I guess I am."
-----
Back when Tony was young, before Peter, he would sleep around with anyone who would. Guys, girls, multiple people - it didn't matter to him.
He didn't really know why he did it. Maybe it was to distract him from the fact that his soulmates were dead, or perhaps he did it because he wanted to.
When Mary Parker barged into his office one late April afternoon saying she was pregnant with his child, he was confused, but not in disbelief. He had known this would happen one day - he was just surprised it didn't happen sooner.
Turns out, that child was what he needed to get back on his feet.
-----
Soulmarks came in different tiers. There were primary and secondary.
Primary soulmarks is what one would expect. They were the shared mark between you and your soulmates. They came in all different kinds, like romantic interests, friends, lovers, and enemies. Tony only had four of these. Rhodey's, Pepper's, Happy's, and Steve and James'. It was shocking that he didn't have any of his enemies' marks plastered on his skin.
Secondary soulmarks were the marks that you gained as your life went on. They usually came from people who strongly impacted your life. It could be in positive or negative ways. Tony would grow to have lots of these. Howard, Peter, Yinsin, and the entire Avengers team - minus Steve - were among these.
For each secondary bond made, there would be a new, unique mark for each person. Howard's was a fist, Peter's was a spider, Yinsin had a piece of the very first suit of armor, and so on.
Despite how many marks Tony was born with, and how many he would come to gain, he instinctively knew which belong to the people he was meant for.
That didn't stop him from looking for relationships in his friends.
-----
Tony's fourth death day was the day the Chitauri invaded Earth after he fell from the wormhole.
After he crashed to the ground, his heart had stopped for the whole of five seconds. Somehow, the Hulk's roar jumpstarted it back to life.
He's not even going to question how, but he's glad this time.
If he had actually died, he would've left Peter fatherless. His kid wasn't even ten-years-old yet.
-----
It's Christmas Eve of 2012. Tony's going to be having his first date with Steve. He has no idea how to feel or what to do. All he does know is that he doesn't want to mess this up.
"You're not going to mess this up, Dad," Peter says, and Tony knows that he's right, but Tony has been having worsening anxiety issues, okay? He can barely handle leaving Peter alone for his tutoring and extracurricular lessons.
But Tony takes a deep breath and calms down. He won't mess this up.
And he doesn't. The dinner goes well, then Steve helps Peter get ready for bed as it nears his bedtime.
After JARVIS informs the adults that Peter is, in fact, asleep, Tony breaks out a bottle of expensive wine. They talk like adults, Steve tells Tony about Bucky, and Tony tells Steve all the stories his father told him.
Steve ropes Tony into showing their shared mark, and Tony doesn't have it in him to refuse. He shrugs the suit jacket off, then unbuttons the dress shirt. He blushes as Steve touches his stomach, running his hands over his mark.
Tony is unprepared when Steve begins to cry, but pulls the blonde into his arms and shushes him.
"Bucky would've loved you," Steve says between sobs. "You would've loved him."
Tony doesn't know what to say to that, so he says what he can.
"Maybe."
-----
"You would've loved them, Tony," Aunt Peggy says out of the blue one day.
"Huh?" Is all Tony can mutter because he was caught off-guard and he was in the middle of his US history studies.
"Steve and Bucky!" Peggy clarifies with a slight laugh. "You would've loved them, and I know for sure they would've loved you."
"Maybe," Tony says. "I never knew them, so I couldn't tell you."
And Tony knows he sounds salty, but his back is burning from his father's recent lashing and he hasn't slept for a while.
"But I can tell you," Peggy throws back easily. "Women would fall the ground at Steve's feet after he had the serum, and Bucky was always a woman snatcher - even before the army. According to Steve at least."
Tony gave a small laugh at that. He didn't know what he'd do without his Aunt Peggy.
-----
Tony hears some rumors going around that James Barnes has been spotted in several places around the world. He's not really sure if he can trust them, but he tells Steve.
Steve is ecstatic, but then Tony tells him what Bucky has been doing. Steve's mood toughens, but he's still hopeful.
It's only been a few months from the start of their relationship, but Tony wants to get Bucky back as much as Steve, so he does what he can.
That mostly consists of doing background research, supplying Steve with information, and continuing to take care of Peter. He finds he's good at these things.
The Avengers is still a thing, though, so the team comes together every month for team bonding. They don't mind if Tony's son joins in. Tony finds that it's better that way. Peter enjoys himself too.
-----
Tony was raised thinking that he could never be loved by another person. Aunt Peggy wasn't around often enough to stop that train of thought. His mother's negligence and his father's abuse only strengthened it.
He had nowhere to go, no one to look forward to.
He was alone.
-----
When some kid who calls himself Spider-Man makes himself known on Tony's radar, Tony tries to do some research. He comes out pretty much empty-handed. The only thing he is able to find out is that the kid surfaced not long after the thing with HYDRA taking over SHIELD, but he knows the kid doesn't have anything to do with it.
With almost nothing to know about him other than he helps people and deals with less than Avenger-worthy criminals, Tony decides that Spider-Man is someone to keep an eye on.
Tony tells Steve, and Steve agrees.
If only things were that simple.
-----
Steve tells Tony about the HYDRA-SHIELD stuff, about how Bucky was there. He tells Tony about how Peter somehow got involved, but Tony wasn't too surprised there. So far, Peter got tangled up in almost every mess dealing with the Avengers - and even when it didn't. It was insane but made things a bit more interesting.
Steve then says that Peter had convinced Bucky to stay. That was when James Buchanan Barnes enters the room, and Tony basically throws himself off of the couch and walks around the room, unable to take it in.
"Is that really him?" Tony asks Steve before looking at Bucky. "Are you really you?"
Steve can't help the chuckle that leaves his mouth. "Don't overwhelm him too much."
Peter slips into the room, a smug grin on his face, and Tony had a hunch about what Peter said.
He can't help but be thankful though. His son really was something.
-----
The next several times Tony dies isn't as impactful as his eighth, when his soulmates beat him down, tears on their faces and in their eyes. Steve destroys the arc reactor of the suit, then leaves with Bucky.
It hurts, but Tony is used to this, he's used to everyone leaving him at some point. It'll happen with Peter four times, or at least three before the final one.
Even after this, he decides to fix the Accords. He knows it won't do much, but maybe Steve will sign this time.
When it's done, he almost doesn't hesitate to pick up the phone and call, but he does. Still, Tony needed his soulmates back, and Peter was falling apart without all three of his fathers.
When they come state-side again, Steve signs, and so does Bucky. The three make up - through fighting and nail-biting, but they still do. It's better than the alternative, at least.
After all was said and done - through the fight with Thanos, through Tony almost dying, through all the infighting they did - their relationship wasn't perfect. But it was real, and Steve and Bucky still helped Tony through the bad days.
It's not perfect, but it's better than it was before - better than the fallout of their "Civil War." Tony chooses to be content with this.
-----
Tony gets nightmares throughout his life. Even after Peter, they stay. Only when he falls asleep next to his two soulmates - the people he was made for - that he can get through the night without the terrifying images haunting his dreams.
Even with all the challenges ahead, he knows that Steve and Bucky will stay by his side. Even with all the doubts in his mind, he knows that they'll love him no matter what.
Even when he thinks that they won't accept him with Peter, they do, and Peter has his Dad, his Pops, and his Оtets - Tony knew giving Peter foreign language lessons would help, even if it wasn't for the most practical reasons.
They're an almost happy family, and even though most of them are broken, they have each other.
And then Steve find out Peter is Spider-Man, but that's an entirely different can of worms to deal with, and Tony isn't ready for that right now.