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The pleasant breeze made its way in the room through one of the open windows. It ruffled Oda-san’s hair in his unconsciousness. Orange hues danced on the walls, evidencing the fast approach of the setting sun. They resumed their dance on my mentor’s blank face, deep in thought, it seemed at that time. His hazel eyes shut, sparing me the terror they may cast upon whoever looks into them at the wrong time. Well isn’t this a nice description of my mentor?
The chair I sat on became more and more uncomfortable as the tension in the room increased with every second Oda-san remained blacked out. The stress I’ve experienced a day ago was enough to last me until this moment; stress caused by Dazai-san who demanded me to use my ability to save Oda-san before the poison got to his vital organs. I swear, I’ve never felt such relief when I was able to slow the neurotoxin in time, while the goons carried him back to HQ to get him treated. Akutagawa would kill to have been in my spot of praise and gratefulness that I quickly dismissed, for I have no intention to drown in useless obsessions.
Beside me, Dazai-san was darting his one eye towards the unconscious man more frequently with each passing minute. Anyone could read this as worry, a rare manifestation of his true emotions that were closed off a long time ago. When his eye widened, I quickly turned my own head towards the now animated body beside me. Oda-san started shifting in his bed, opening his cerulean eyes, extracting a long exhale from my agitated self.
“Are you awake, Odasaku?”
A sleepy moan is heard from the bed, as to answer that question.
“How do you feel?”
Oda-san sat up as he spoke.
“I feel like I’m experiencing all the hangovers I’ll have in the next fifty years all at the same time… I saw Ango at the place you told me about.”
“So Ango was there, like I suspected.” came Dazai-san’s answer instantly.
There was a pause. Maybe for recalling events, I wouldn’t know.
“He vanished into the dark with soldiers in black.”
“Sounds like black special ops. And (F/N) here can confirm it as she was the first one to arrive at the scene.”
They continued discussing the enemy organisations that we have encountered by now, and we singled out Mimic as the only real threat at the moment.
“Akutagawa-kun and other combat squad members, excluding (F/N), are dealing with conflicts in the city, but we don’t even know what the enemy leader’s ability is. We’re at a disadvantage.”
“That Akutagawa is one of your subordinates, isn’t he? And your partner, right?” he motioned his head towards me. “I heard his ability has high offensive capabilities.”
“He is a naked sword without a scabbard. I’m sure he’ll become one of the strongest gifted mafia members in the near future…” at this, I let a smile dangle loose on my face, which I doubt went unnoticed by Dazai-san, “…but right now, he needs someone to teach him how to sheathe his blade. Sorry, that was a tangent.”
Dazai-san went on about the meeting and the decisions against Mimic’s offensive, but I was too caught up in my worries to listen carefully.
“Just now, my subordinates, including Akutagawa-kun, were hit by a surprise attack. They’re still fighting at the art museum.”
And I’m not there to help him out, because Dazai-san asked me to stay by his side until Oda-san awakes. Personally, I would’ve felt guilty if I didn’t stay by Oda-san’s bed to make sure I didn’t kill him when trying to save him.
A sudden movement caught the attention of both of us; Oda-san stood up and quickly geared up with the weapons we left on the nightstand beside the bed.
“Odasaku? You’re not serious about going, are you?”
“We’re hitting them with everything we’ve got, right?”
“I didn't think you’d be interested in conflict, since you don’t kill people.”
“I’m not.” simultaneously, he ruffled my hair as I was situated at the perfect height on that chair.
“Then why?” Dazai asked, with that signature smile on.
“I’ve acquired a lot of debts in my life. If your subordinates are in a tight spot, they need help.”
And with that, Oda-san slipped out the door.
“(F/N), go with him. Before your worries turn against you.”
Finally, I’m able to go help the combat squad, and Akutagawa himself… ugh Dazai-san’s too good at reading people in his peripheral view. I caught up with Oda-san, who was already at the elevator of the hospital department, and surprised him with my presence (I think).
“They’re my squad too…” I hoped he didn’t catch on to my exclusive focus of worry.
“Mhm.”
Yup, he read me instantly.
“He’ll be fine, (N/N). We’ll get there in time.”
“Ha, ha, I didn’t think otherwise, since it’s time we’re talking about.”
~·~
The car pulled up in a sort of drift at the museum entrance, where we could already hear gunshots. We approached the doors surely but carefully; the stench of fresh blood, gunpowder and death hit us like a wall, which I suppose we powered through with our years of experiencing these ‘pleasant’ aromas.
“—gret that I co—be the enemy y—anted.”
Was that Akutagawa?
“Farewell.”
This voice definitely wasn’t his. Shit. We need to move in quickly. But Oda-san beat me to it.
The Graugeist gunshot was never heard, instead, our standard mafia supplied gun was heard from Oda-san himself. I followed in behind him, spotting Akutagawa’s surprised face turning towards us. We met gazes, and it seemed we couldn’t tear apart. Until Oda-san advanced carefully in his direction. The leader looked pretty shocked; didn’t expect us coming or what?
“Did you get shot in the leg?” his voice resonated in the hall.
Whew, we did make it in the nick of time. At least it was Akutagawa’s leg and not a vital organ which would bleed him out. The older male hopped the other on his shoulder despite the younger’s continuous protests.
During this, the leader eyed me, as I wasn’t really moving or displaying an immediate threat. His eyes went above me for a split second before connecting to my gaze again.
Something’s wrong… this isn’t over.
I focus all my thoughts on the space around me, feeling the smells, sounds, everything. A light whisper comes out of my mouth— “The Time Thief.”— and I find myself in my cold, lonely world where there’s nobody really around me. Just static objects and unfortunate people who are simply caught in the time-freeze.
I focus on the task at hand: investigate the place for any more Mimic allies who did not die yet. I shift my gaze to the balcony above me, where surely stood a cloaked person, in position to snipe Oda-san. Then I look on the top of the stairs on the left of the entrance, where another cloaked member was ready to hit Akutagawa. And now behind me, opposite to the set of stairs, was placed one last sniper, with his aim towards me—well the place he last saw me in.
The thing about me is… I never lose track of people’s positions once I’ve seen them. I take a hold of my own gun in the inner pocket of my (fabulous) ebony trench coat, and deactivate my ability. The leader’s eyes widen (what’s with all the eyes widening?) as he screams “Get down!”, but it’s too late. In a split second, the gun sits in my right hand grip, as I point it to my sniper and pull the trigger with the familiar deafening boom. I speed myself up, and shift my aim towards Akutagawa’s sniper on the stairs, pulling the trigger again. As I turn towards the last member, I observe how he had enough time to react to his leader’s warning, and so started dipping behind the balcony wall. Seeing as I have no other choice, I enter the time-freeze once more. It’s pretty nice, having all the time in the world, giving me endless choices as to what to do. This time, I decide to walk up all the way to that balcony; I stand behind the cloaked figure, and point my gun at the back of his head.
‘Sigh, if Dazai-san saw me right now, he’d lecture me on the importance of hostages…’
I exit the ‘lonely icebox’ and mutter “Farewell.” in accordance to his leader’s words towards my partner. Unlike him, I manage to make the wall red, and the air taste metallic with blood.
Another audible sigh. I jump down and head for the exit, after the other two, who seem to have entered a brawl of sorts… well, Akutagawa commenced it for sure. The gunshots aimed for Rashomon (now in attack mode), confirmed my thoughts. Sigh… Now he’s jealous of Dazai-san’s friend… The monstrous coat subsided and Akutagawa landed with a more than painful thud.
“I heard of you from Dazai-san.You’re one of the lower-ranking members.” The spite in his voice made his jealousy pretty obvious.
“That’s right.”
“And I heard you’re a friend to him. Is that true?” he lifted his eyes to glare at his calm ‘attention competition’ (one-sided of course).
“I have a policy of not using that word lightly.”
“Dazai-san said I wouldn’t stand a chance against you, not in a hundred years.”
I moved towards the two, slowly, as to not stir Akutagawa more, since his jealousy spread to me too these few years. My hands in the coat pockets, palming a small, metallic necklace, as I would do every time I feel something is wrong.
“Now’s not the time to be having a falling out.” Oda-san’s voice increased in loudness as to convey his point. Not that Akutagawa would even take notice. He’s too far gone in his little episode of obsession.
“Why…”
Uh oh. He’s about to explode. That murderous look in his eyes, that offensive position… all signs point to my partner’s manifestation of hate…
“Why doesn’t Dazai-san…”
At this point it’s useless; Akutagawa raised his voice as well as his Rashomon against Oda-san, who merely took out his gun. The gunpowder in the air as well as the thundering shots blocked out the multiple spikes initiated by Akutagawa, plainly shocking him.
“Are you the same?” his confusion gave Oda-san enough time to close in on Akutagawa’s frail form and promptly knock him out cold with a hard punch to the stomach.
Ugh… I think I heard something that shouldn’t have come out of his body…
“Sorry… I have to bring you back, especially for a friend who has high hopes for you.”
And with that, Akutagawa flew back a few meters, his face distorted with pain, unconscious. I make my way towards the Dog, as Oda-san’s attention is caught by the Mimic leader behind us. I learn that his name is Gide, but it looks like Oda-san doesn’t really care in this moment.
I start tending to Akutagawa as briefly as possible, while the two exchange a few words before Gide points his Graugeist at Oda-san. But nothing happens. No shots are fired, nobody moves. It just looks like the tension surged more and more.
“I can do what you can do.”
What? That’s impossible, two ability users with the same gift… That can’t be. And since Oda-san can see in the future… Shit, they’ll just read each other into a paradox.
I turn my back to the two men, and return my attention to my unconscious partner, who looks as if he ceased breathing. I check for a pulse again (his body is so vulnerable, I’m afraid even such a punch could bring him to a state of dangerous unconsciousness rather than just a knockout). It’s there for sure, but if he keeps up this stupid dominance game, it won’t stay for too long.
A few more shots are fired but I pay them no attention as I’m dialling the reinforcements to come pick us up rather than continue this conflict.
“WHY? My subordinates and I have been wondering the whole world like ghosts, looking for a place worthy of our deaths. You are our only wish. Fight me! If you refuse—” (AN: this all sounds so gay but ehhh whadoiknow?)
“The reason I can’t do as you wish is because I have a dream.” Oda-san’s voice once again rose, cutting Gide off.
I spin my head towards his voice in astonishment. A dream? He’s never mentioned this to me…
“Some day when I can quit the Port Mafia and become a free man, I want to sit down at a desk in a room where I can see the sea, and… I want to become a writer.”
Quit the Port Mafi— what, no… Where is this coming from?
“I want to throw the gun aside, and only have pen and paper.”
I blanked out for a few moments, trying to take in all of this. You’re going to leave me? I couldn’t even imagine this is what you’ve been concerned with…
“A man who takes lives cannot write about lives. That’s why I won’t kill.”
“So that’s your answer?” the leader looked more than enraged.
“That’s right.”
I myself was not thinking clearly… hence I didn’t even notice Gide pointing his gun at Akutagawa beside me. The four clear shots pummelled me back to reality, where Oda-san threw himself in front of us, taking all those shots. My eyes stung and my throat hurt when I let out a blood curling scream at this sight.
“ODA-SAN!”
I immediately sprung to my feet, liberating my sword from my waist, but a strong arm blocked my advance.
“Stop it!”
The leader approached Oda-san and put the gun to his head. By that point I became too enraged, and yet I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to move. This was all too much. He wants to leave the Port Mafia, then he takes bullets for us and now he is at gun-point… he’s making it very hard for me to ever let him go… But Gide lowered his gun, and walked away with a few parting words I was too distracted by my thoughts to even take into account. A car pulled up, and the Mimic leader hopped in, tyres screeching away, leaving an unconscious dog, a father-figure in pain and a thief bound in her own poisonous thoughts.
~·~
The next day at lunch, I found myself called by the Boss in his office urgently. The elevator ride is supposed to be ten seconds long… why does it feel like ten years?
I knock on the large ochre doors of Boss’ office, to which a “Yes, come in.” responds.
“Ah, (L/N)-kun, you got my message.”
“Of course.” There was nothing I could be except for submissive at this point.
“Listen, you’ve displayed very good results in your missions alongside the Combat Squad, and Dazai-kun has confirmed this information as well.”
“Thank you, Boss. If I may ask one question.” I hoped I didn’t cross any politeness boundaries… well, any underling boundaries.
His face shifted into that of a child, a small pout forming at his mouth (typicial Mori-san I suppose).
“Go on.”
“I’m a mere subordinate and apprentice to Dazai-san. Why was I called here without him?”
This did gnaw at my thoughts from the moment I realised my mentor was not attending this call; apprentices are pretty low-ranked in a way, regardless of power and display, therefore we usually travel around alongside our mentor.
“Ah, yes, that. Well, this is where I get to the point. The Special Ability Department has summoned me to a secret unofficial meeting. I’d like you to be there, (L/N)-kun. Without your mentor. And anyway, it seems to me that he’s got other issues to worry about.”
A secret meeting with the Special Ability Department? What the hell… and I’m supposed to be there? What could possibly be the reason for my appearance there. It is a secret for God’s sake, I shouldn’t be there! My mind was caught in a typhoon of thoughts and questions, but Boss, with his calculating eyes, easily picked up on this, as he further continued:
“You may ask yourself ‘Why am I needed there? It’s a secret meeting after all.’ . Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need another member to join me as Chief Tanada will also bring his associate. It’s not a matter of protection. It’s a matter of witnessing the events, (L/N)-kun.”
He still didn’t really answer my question as to why I have to go there and not someone like an executive, but this is a chance to pave my way to an executive spot, bit by bit.
“Understood. When shall I be here?”
“Later today. I will inform you shortly of location details. That is all.”
And that’s how I ended up on a flabbergastingly expensive yacht, in the presence of two gifted organisation leaders, and the Ex-Port Mafia Intelligence Officer, Sakaguchi-san. Not even the usually calming sea aroma or the splashing of the waves could manage to calm me down. I stood beside Sakaguchi-san, to Mori-san’s side, as they began to speak.
“Thank you for coming here today. Again, this is an unofficial meeting.” the ex-member spoke.
“Thank you for inviting us here today. How does it feel to be back in your main job?” oooh, Mori-san’s sarcasm never disappoints.
“Please don’t torture our junior staff, Port Mafia’s boss.” the Chief finally made himself noticed. “And anyway, I didn’t expect you to bring a child here… well actually, I should’ve expected, since it is you we’re talking about.” (AN: Pedo-Mori)
Boss completely ignored his comment. He should be used to those types of replies.
“My Elise-chan wants ice cream. Are there any ice-cream shops that the government workers would recommend, Chief Tanada?”
“That is a heartwarming topic.” well, the Chief’s sarcasm isn’t anything to laugh at either… “I need to bring back gifts for our officials, as well. I bet they would be more than happy to see your head on a platter.”
His face contorted to a very disturbing smirk at that proclamation. I should get used to this… but even Sakaguchi-san beside me seems extremely anxious. Sigh, what did I get myself into… Moving my eyes to Boss, I was met by an even more disturbing smile, the one which would emanate bloodlust and death around him. I think a shiver ran down my spine, but with this tension, I’m going numb.
Sakaguchi-san broke the everlasting silence which followed the threats from before. As he stated the two requests for Boss, my mind flew off in tangents, worries about my partner, which I believe are unnecessary since he always dismisses them without a second thought, anxiousness about this damn meeting which I should be paying attention to… ugh how bad can this day get?
“I hesitate to agree to the second. After all they are a terrifying bunch…” As if. The Port Mafia can easily dispose of Mimic if we use the correct people we have at our disposal. It’s all strategy in the end. Mori-san’s face once again took on his classic smirk that only breathes evil (if smirks can even breathe). “Well, it’d depend on the conditions.”
Is he referring to what I think he is? Now it would make sense… getting that would mean a huge leap for the organisation and it would at the same time solve the government’s problem with Mimic. But at what cost does this come?
The two government officials shared a quick look before the Chief extracted a small, familiar, black envelope from his sleeve and slid it down the unofficial plastic table used for this unofficial meeting. I’m starting to think that official meetings are so much more meaningless than these unofficial ones, where anything could happen. It’s exactly as I deduced. Boss has guaranteed the Port Mafia a permit. I wasn’t able to not let a slight grin escape. I was being modest, but Boss didn’t even care about his façade anymore as he let out crazed laughter, while I silently hoped he wouldn’t tip his chair over and fall in his euphoria.
We returned to the HQ, the Boss still not dismissing me as he wanted to have a small afterword with me.
“(L/N)-kun, I told you before that you have demonstrated high quality results over this past year, and I’m inclined to say that this may have majorly stemmed from your exceptional intellect, that is for a 16 year old. The reason for your attendance to this highly secret meeting was a simple one: I believe you should take a position as one of the five executives when the time comes for one of the current ones to retire.”
D-did I hear this right? He wants M-ME to be an e-executive in the future? I’m stuttering in my own head, how bad would it be if I spoke out loud?
“P-Pardon me?”
“You know very well what I just said. Of course, currently you still lack experience, but in 2 to 3 years maximum, you and Akutagawa-kun will be a force to be reckoned with. But then again, this is all your choice. You could remain Dazai-kun’s subordinate and grow under him or… become more powerful in an authoritarian position…”
He kept talking about opportunities and power and I couldn’t concentrate on anything. If I were to become an executive, I may finally be able to conduct my search. Get justice for what’s been done against me in the past. Funny, getting justice but I’m in the mafia, about to become a high executive.
“(L/N)-kun, we may talk about this matter at a later time, for now… Elise-chan requests my full attention, so you can go. Dismissed.”
That damn smile that is unreadable creeped on again, urging me to get my thoughts together and leave.
“Thank you, Boss.”
With this, I spun around and swiftly made my way to the doors, and finally to our shared dorm. But I couldn’t rest just yet, even if night was hastily coming upon us.
~·~
As I was lounging in my bed, several hours later, thinking over the meeting’s events and playing with a set of cards (freezing their fall midair, a mere child’s game), a string of buzzes in my coat pocket alerted me. And there could be only one person who would be calling me right now.
“Dazai-san.”
“(F/N), gather the last of the squad and some others and meet me at the place I told you about.”
“The forest abandoned building.”
“Exactly. And hurry.”
I quickly geared up, placed my trusty katana in its rightful place by my waist, and two guns safe in the inside of my trench coat; I assembled the others and told them the little information I possessed on the situation.
“(F/N)-chan, Akutagawa called for you in your absence, said something about wanting to talk to y—“
“That isn’t important right now. Thank you for the heads up, but we need to focus on this task. Dazai-san sounded desperate. And that’s a clear sign that we are about to witness something horrible occur, either to us or to someone else. Be on guard.” the goon nodded at my final words.
We came out into the clearing of the house, where I was able to spot multiple corpses, drowning in their blood, shot with such high precision, I can already guess who caused their deaths… Dazai-san also joined our group and barked out a few orders before everyone stormed into the building, out of which multiple gunshots were audible and were scaring all the nearby birds into flying away.
“Dazai-san, what happened to Oda-san? Nobody can shoot with such high precision except for him and now he killed all these members. Wha—“ I blurted out breathlessly.
“The asshole killed the orphans Odasaku took care of. He’s given up everything.”
My mouth was agape as I stared at the rooms we went through, each in a worse state than the last. Blood oozed out of their corpses, fresh. Debris and dust settled everywhere; grenades were used very recently. My mentor and I stayed behind the troops, knowing they were nothing but disposable in this situation, Dazai-san probably anticipated the presence of more Mimic goons in hiding. The gunfire frequency only increased, roaring against the high ceiling and broken window panes. And it all stopped. An alarming silence took over the place for a few moments. Two voices were barely heard talking further down the hallway, into one of the rooms I suppose. Dazai-san became more antsy by each second and his steps increased in length. We rushed towards that room, only to see Oda-san and Gide shoot simultaneously, surrounded by a sea of corpses, Mimic and mafia alike. A scream and heavy, rushed steps were the last thing I was able to properly notice, before Oda-san’s form slumped on the ground, limp and bloody.
“ODASAKU!”
I took a few steps towards Dazai-san’s bent over form and perceived a gasp from him as well as crimson staining his palm and bandages. They all trembled in his now closed fist.
“You’re an idiot, Odasaku. You’re a complete idiot…” his voice faltered as he couldn’t come to terms with this situation.
I dropped to my knees next to my distressed mentor, where I could hear a faint “Yeah…” in response to Dazai-san’s statements.
“Why did you go along with what he wanted?”
I looked over to Gide’s bleeding body and saw nothing but peace on his aged complex. At least he got what he wished for… this is the cost of that permit… I understand now. Mori Ougai-dono, you are one of the most cruel humans I’ve ever met. If you even are a human…
“Dazai… There's something I want to say to you.”
“No! Don’t! You might still make it! No, you will make it! So don’t talk like—” Dazai-san was beyond desperate. I couldn’t even form a word on my tongue.
“Listen.” Oda-san plainly interrupted him. I also brought my eyes up to meet his face. I won’t last long like this. “You told me that you might find a reason to live if you lived in a world of violence and bloodshed.”
“Yeah, I did. But who cares what I said now?” his voice was now wavering. So were my tears, threatening to spill any moment now.
“You won’t find it. You must know that already.” Dazai-san was taken aback by that comment. “Nothing in this world can fill that lonely hole you have. You will wander the darkness for eternity.”
“Odasaku. What should I do?”
In my stormy mind, I noted how this was the first time I’ve seen my strict mentor look so vulnerable, so broken. This is the effect friends can have on you it seems.
“Be on the side that saves people.”
And here it is. Oda-san’s desire to leave and to save rather than stay and kill, resurfaced. My mentor’s face contorted again into shock. Oda-san gave him the choice to become a good man. Even after all the blood he’s spilled and all the souls he crushed.
“How do you know that for sure?” Dazai-san’s trembling voice asked quietly.
“I know better than anyone. Because… I am your friend.”
“I see. I’ll do that.” He seemed content with this.
“And (N/N)-chan.”
My eyes glimmered with the tears on the edge of my water line, as he called me (N/N).
“Y-Yes?”
“Tell him. Tell him what you want to tell him. Don’t hesitate, or you’ll arrive in my state where you can only spew out a few last words, with regret that you couldn’t say more before.”
He’s right… Oda-san was always right.
“I will. I will as soon as possible. He told me he wants to talk to me too… but I’ll beat him to it. You’ll see.” I let out a chuckle amidst my subs and tears.
“Good girl…”
“Thank you, Sakunosuke-san. For everything you’ve done for me ever since you’ve showed me freedom.”
He gave a weak chuckle and added:
“People live to save themselves, huh? How true…” and his head went limp against Dazai-san’s arm.
The hand that clawed itself into Dazai-san’s hair now fell, clutching at his eye bandage, revealing a perfectly well eye behind it. One could say that Oda-san opened Dazai-san’s eyes to a new world… He placed the lifeless man gently on the cold marble and stood up, placing a hand on my shoulder and turning around making his way towards the door.
“You’ve left such a mark on this world, it is unbelievable…” I quietly whisper to nobody.
With one last glance, I follow my mentor outside, only to find that he completely disappeared. Gone without a trace.
“Aha… no goodbyes, huh? Some mentor you were… thank you, Dazai-san.” I chuckled, speaking to the walls… walls that have ears; I’m sure he heard this.
~·~
When I got back to HQ, I went straight to our shared dorms, expecting my partner to be there, sulking from some inexplicable reason. I opened— no, I burst through the door, where I found Akutagawa on his bunk, fiddling with Rashomon and wearing that blank expression (which I should now know it shows his rare calm state of mind). He looked up to me, unfazed by the door deepening the dent in the wall we worked on daily (we bet on when we would reach the other side of the wall with the handle).
“Yo.” I gave off misery with my every step towards my not-so-comfortable bed.
He only regarded me with a grunt. Then silence ensued. I wasn’t sure what to even say after all the events today. Should I tell him about Oda-san and Dazai-san?
“Oi, you were gone for quite a bit. Where’s Dazai-san?”
Really? He just unknowingly took the bull by its horns…
“Sigh. Ok. You have to stay chill after I say this.” I exhaled a breath I didn’t even realise i was holding. “…Dazai-san… left us.”
I also realised that my words made it sound as if he died so I quickly correct myself.
“From the mafia. He left.”
Hearing this, Akutagawa tensed. Hard. His eyes slowly rose to find mine, which suddenly found the floorboards to be very interesting. He stood up, walked over to me and demanded and explanation.
“What do you mean… he left?”
He’s making this harder than it should be to say.
“He left, ok? Oda-san persuaded him to step into the world of light… right before he died…”
“What?”
Please don’t make this even worse. His face distorted, evidencing his effort of trying to absorb this. Suddenly, his glare turns back towards me.
“And you didn’t do anything?" he was beyond irate.
I couldn’t form any words. It’s still fresh… Oda-san’s death… and His departure. Akutagawa left us in an eerie silence before he shattered it completely with his rage.
“It’s his fault! Dazai-san left us because of that low-ranked member! I wish he would be alive now, just so that I could kill him!”
*slap*
The slap resounded throughout the gloomy dorm. My right palm felt tingly after it connected to his cheek; his whole head now turned sideways from the force of the smack. I couldn’t hold my anger back anymore.
“How dare you…” this may have come out as a whisper or a growl, I’m not sure, it’s all jumbled up in my head right now. “HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT ODA-SAN? Do you have any idea who this man was? Did you care enough to search and find out that this guy never killed with a truly amazing reason? That his dreams were shattered the moment he watched those orphans die right in front of his eyes?”
My voice seemed to have decreased in volume when my partner’s eyes softened slightly to his usual look.
“When Oda-san and I came to the art museum yesterday to rescue you, did you ever know that he shielded you with his own body from getting shot by that Gide creep? Of course you don’t. You were unconscious and he is now dead, who the hell would be able to tell you?”
Now he looked downright confused. He’s probably thinking something like ‘Why would he save me anyway? I didn’t need his pity…’.
“(F/—“
“Akutagawa. I owe everything to this man. Without him, I wouldn’t be here today. He saved me from further suffering from the lack of a normal childhood. I was lucky back then, and I know that he would’ve done the same to you and Gin if he ever passed by those slums.”
This surely piqued his interest; with his argent eyes glued to mine, he motioned me to continue.
“What I’m trying to say is… don’t blame Oda-san for Dazai’s departure… I’ve attended Boss’ secret meeting on his orders… I think I knew even back then what was going to happen… Maybe I didn't want to accept it… That permit cost us the life of one of the most skilled members of the Port Mafia and a father figure and a friend, an exceptionally sharp and evil executive and mentor, and an intelligence officer who turned out to be a triple agent. Oda-san was sacrificed by Boss, and his death caused Dazai’s decision to leave. I dare say Dazai left because of the Boss… but I’d be killed by dawn if this statement ever were to leave these four walls…”
“(F/—)”
“NO!” my screaming recommenced. “Listen well. I’m making it my mission to become one of the five executives and one day dethrone Mori-san for all this. And you won’t breathe a word of this to anyone.”
Hearing this, Akutagawa’s eyes widened in shock; he grabbed me by my collar and pushed me up against a wall. Who wouldn’t after I had declared such an audacious action, such insubordination.
“You… do you realise what you’ve just said? That’s mutiny, (F/N)!”
“I don’t care anymore, Akutagawa…”
A lonely tear sloped down my pale complex. It didn’t go unnoticed by my partner.
“H-He saved my life dammit… How can I not swear revenge? He liberated me from all those years of torture and pain… What the hell am I going to do without him now?”
By now, more tears spilled from my glistening eyes, and my sobs increased in frequency. But they won’t make a difference to Akutagawa. Or to the whole mafia for that matter.
“I know it’s unexpected of me to say this but… don’t take revenge for a dead person. It won’t help you in any way. I’d know… that’s how I ended up here, under Dazai-san’s tutelage. They’re dead, and they’ll stay that way, because they were weak. The weak die, die and make way for others.”
‘Unexpected’ he says. With my eyes wide and mouth agape, I’m wondering whether a meteorite will hit the Earth right now. But fundamentally he is right. He’s dead and there’s nothing I can do to bring him back. Killing Boss won’t solve anything. I close my eyes as a smile creeps its way on my mouth and nod in understanding.
“You’re the person I least expected to discourage me from this, and at the same time comfort me. Thank you, Akutagawa.”
Akutagawa has a weird habit of switching moods quicker than a woman on her period, and this is no isolated case here; from angry, to shocked, to understanding, now to embarrassed. His face went all red and flushed until his ears; he averted his eyes away. In the meantime, his hands left my collar and he distanced himself from me.
“W-Well, I don’t care e-either way, so don’t come to me for your stupid p-problems, o-okay?”
“Yeah, yeah…” I couldn’t help but giggle at this stuttering version of my partner, who started walking towards the door.
I remember my promise to Oda-san and quickly catch Akutagawa by his arm, yanking him slightly back. He stopped and looked at me from the corner of his eye.
“Akutagawa?”
“Hmm?”
“One of the others told me you wanted to talk to me or something… but I wanted to tell you something too…” I felt like the cliche school girl trying to talk to him… How low have you sunk, (F?N)?
He placed a hand on his mouth, trying to mask his even more flushed face with a cough, that for once in his life, never came. Instead, he sounded more like a dying flamingo, to which I just let out a hearty laugh. It made him hide his whole face from me this time.
“Akutagawa? What was it you wanted to tell me?” I was full on smiling at his even more school-girlish personality he displayed.
“Ryuunosuke.”
“Huh?”
“Only when we’re alone. Call me Ryuunosuke.”
“Was that it?” I fake pouted for effect.
“T-There is more… but I forgot. Don’t harass me with questions, dammit.”
Aha, he forgot huh? Well, knowing him and his obsessions, I know he never forgets things. I’ll give him time…
“What did you want to say, (F/N)?”
Shit. Guess who’s in the hot seat now…
“Ummm… well… I’m not sure how to say this… but ummm…”
In my moment of weakness, he proceeded to engulf me in what I believe was a hug. A bony one, but a hug nonetheless. I swear, my eyeballs should’ve fallen right out of their sockets. Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, the one who I’ve learned hates physical contact and avoids it like the plague, now hugs me with a warmth I’ve never expected to feel from him. My astonishment is quickly dissolved in the sincerity of this angsty boy, and I slide my arms onto his back and shoulders, returning the affection.
“You don’t have to say anything…” he whispered in my shoulder.
Then I could faintly hear a few words being muttered under his breath:
“Please tell me I read the situation correctly…”
At that I just let my laughter completely take over me, while Ryuunosuke was hiding himself in my hair…
“Puppy’s got a good nose for this, it seems.”
With a muffled “Shut up.”, the both of us stood still and enjoyed our newfound pillars of strength, now with our seniors gone. The night was well established by now, allowing us to find refuge in its dark safety until we were able to stand up again.