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there was time when donghyuck drank just so the cool kids allowed him to join their parties. there were more times when he's drunk because of life in general though it changed quickly into drunk because of mark. it was rather unfair how mark loves, no loved to get drunk with him but now he becomes the cause of. it is so unfair.
donghyuck just bought another vodka from the store and it burns inside his throat right now. how many glass it's been already? he lost count. donghyuck never drinks from the glass anymore. since mark broke his heart, he never cared about how many liquor he emptied every day. it becomes blurry. there's no point in counting when you don't have something to wait for. pointless isn't it. just like life.
it's raining outside and donghyuck hates it. rain never does anything in his favor. it was raining when donghyuck almost tried to jump from the school rooftop. it was raining when his dad left him. it was still raining when mark said he could not be with him anymore. it was all wet and gloomy. just like him and winter. pointless. it was pointless.
"what do you like the most?" donghyuck was sitting next to mark who’s holding an opened can of beer. It was summer, august to be precise.
"being with you." mark smiled. it was so cheesy. donghyuck wanted to punch him yet he didn't do it because he struggled to stop his cheeks from turning redder.
donghyuck opens another bottle and drinks it straight from it. it was still pointless. those memories are gone with the rain and donghyuck once again feels colder than he's supposed to be. mark was his sun and no matter how many times people told him that he has a warm smile, donghyuck would still believe that mark was his source of light. in fact donghyuck was never warm in the first place, he’s not summer. mark is. after all mark was born in august and he wasn’t. though june isn’t far from august, it is not summer. donghyuck is not summer. mark is. he believes.
“have you kissed someone before?” it was such a random question, donghyuck thought. his head’s spinning continuously, perhaps it was because of the strong mixed of vodka and love.
“hmm no. what about you, was jeno really your first kiss?” donghyuck asked back . he could see mark’s confused expression though he started to see stars as well. for a split second donghyuck thought he’s gonna passed out yet it was the opposite. he felt rather ecstatic. he jumped out when mark's lips crushed on his. it was all rushed, donghyuck barely felt the warmth of mark’s lips yet at the same time he could clearly taste the bitter alcohol.
“you’re my first kiss lee donghyuck, not jeno.”
that's when the story turned into a fantasy.
when donghyuck realized those fantasies are no longer exist those words start to stink as much as the whiskey he tries for the first time today. it was dumb for him to even try another drink when he knew he would hate the taste. as dumb as remembering the event that’ll only leave even more scars on his heart. it's still pointless, donghyuck wishes he could forget.
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