Work Text:
Joshua knows it’s going to be a long night when Mingyu shows up at his door with a bottle of tequila and a smirk stretched from Monday to Saturday across his face. He’s dressed in some tremendously torn skinny jeans and an old The National t-shirt. Joshua swallows. He attempts to close the door on Mingyu’s stupid face, but Mingyu, sensing this, snakes his too-thick leg into the doorway and, with unsurprising strength, shoves the door open with his shoulder. Joshua presses back, feeling the grain of the wood through his threadbare red plaid, before letting go all at once, and Mingyu fumbles forward before righting himself, almost dropping the bottle in his hands. Joshua snorts and moves his too-long bangs off his face.
“Nice of you to let me in.” Mingyu says conversationally, brushing imaginary dust from his shoulder. He squeezes past Joshua and heads straight to the kitchen, where he opens a cabinet over the sink to take out two shot glasses. Joshua shrugs at Mingyu’s back as he hears the sounds of a cork being pried from a bottle.
“You know I’m not drinking that.” Joshua says, putting a hand in the pocket of his jeans, joining Mingyu in the kitchen and leaning back against the counter to stare as Mingyu carefully puts an equal amount of the orange liquid into each glass. He holds one out to Joshua, who takes it immediately anyway.
“It’s mango tequila, you heathen,” Mingyu starts, ready to launch into some sort of convincing rant, “all the way from Mex—wait, what are you doing?”
Joshua wipes the residue from the shot off his lips, puts down the empty glass, and goes to find a lime in his fridge. He doesn’t have one, of course, he’s twenty-six and lives alone, who the fuck keeps limes besides Mingyu anyway?
“That was terrible, Mingyu.” Joshua mutters, settling for a bottle of orange juice that he cracks open and swallows quickly.
Mingyu snorts when Joshua turns back to him and takes his own shot, without orange juice. He winces, but smooths his expression into one of delight as soon as he’s swallowed it down.
“Does this mean we’re going to be wasted at my birthday party?” he chirps, going to prepare a second shot.
Joshua mumbles something long, venomous, and incoherent to himself. Mingyu makes a comically wide gesture of putting his hand to his ear. Joshua thinks all his teeth must be showing with how much he’s grinning.
“I didn’t catch that.”
“I said, if I have to watch you flirt with a bartender all night then yes I need to be fucking drunk.” Joshua huffs and crosses his arms. Mingyu cackles, before handing Joshua his second shot. Joshua takes it between his fingers with steady hands, but his breath is a little shakey as he realizes that yes, he really is going to have to watch Mingyu get hit on all night for the ten millionth time in his miserable existence. Mingyu with his stupid broad shoulders and his stupid tall head and his dumb face—
“You know,” Mingyu starts, before swallowing down his second shot in one gulp, and slurring absolutely zero words, “you could try to get laid tonight.” There’s an odd edge to his eyes, a glint.
Joshua takes the shot and yeah, okay, this mango stuff is getting better, but it’s still awful, as is the idea of Mingyu wanting him to bring someone home. He deflects, as he has for years.
“That defeats the purpose, Mingyu.”
Mingyu tilts his head, curiously. “The purpose of what?”
“The purpose of living in a tragically lonely, loveless life. This shit is gonna make me famous.” Joshua says this matter-of-factly. Mingyu shakes his head.
“You’re the worst writer I know if you’re planning to write a whole book where the guy doesn’t get the guy.”
“The guy never gets the guy, he’s supposed to get the girl. Not everything is one of your romance movies.”
Mingyu barks out a deep laugh. “You know you’re writing a gay romance novel, right?”
Joshua lets out a very unattractive snarl. “It’s not a, a gay romance novel, it’s a very serious, introspective look at the life of a modern gay man living in downtown Seoul and—“
He stops, because Mingyu seems to be laughing too hard to hear him. The little bitch is doubled over. In his own kitchen! He straightens up before he takes Joshua into a forced hug, shoving Joshua’s head into his collar and patting his back. Joshua tries not to breathe his scent too deeply and is that cologne? God, letting Mingyu grow up was the worst decision he’s ever made.
“There there sweetheart, everyone’s going to love your gay romance novel, I promise.”
Joshua struggles out of his grasp. “Let me go!” He shoves Mingyu away and stalks out of the kitchen to his bedroom door, which he promptly shuts right in Mingyu’s following face. Mingyu giggles very unattractively and opens the door without hesitation.
He’s still carrying the bottle of tequila, and the smell of it makes Joshua’s stomach churn from where he’s flopped himself onto his bed uncooperatively, alcohol slowly fizzling through his blood. Mingyu walks straight to Joshua’s open closet and starts rummaging with his free hand, bringing the bottle to his lips with the other.
“You weren’t planning on wearing those fucking mom jeans, were you?” Mingyu mutters, tsking at each of Joshua’s wrinkled shirts in turn.
“Not all of us can put on a faded band t-shirt and call it a night, Mingyu.” Joshua says without any bite.
“Hey! This outfit is one-hundred percent going to get me what I want tonight.” Joshua glares at Mingyu’s back but it goes unnoticed.
“And what’s that?”
“What’s what?”
“What is it that you want?”
Mingyu turns with a yank of a hanger, pulling out a sleek striped button down triumphantly. He walks over to Joshua’s immobile form and throws it down to him.
“Oh, that’s for me to know and you to find out.” Mingyu winks, honest to god, and Joshua rolls his eyes before getting up and stripping off his plaid. He pulls the striped button down on without question (a gift from Mingyu last Christmas) and searches the floor for black jeans, which he pulls on after he drops his faded mom jeans. He kicks them to the side of his dresser unceremoniously.
Mingyu’s running his free hand back through his own hair in the mirror when he turns to Joshua.
“Unbutton the top of that shirt.” He commands.
Joshua complies. Mingyu stares at his chest for a few seconds, before seeming to gather himself. He turns to pull Joshua to the bathroom across the short hall, passing the bottle over, and stops, grabbing a denim coat from the back of the door.
“Is this my coat?” Mingyu says, pulling it on without waiting for an answer. “I’ve been looking everywhere for it.”
Joshua heaves a long suffering sigh, bringing the bottle to his lips again.
“Yes. You left it here the last Friday.” He follows Mingyu to the bathroom and pushes himself up on the counter, holding the bottle of tequila out of the way. Mingyu uncaps a small tub of wax before taking some in his hands and running it back through Joshua’s hair. When he’s satisfied, he leans back and looks at his handiwork, tongue poking out of his mouth. Joshua raises an eyebrow.
“You done?” Mingyu nods very seriously, then looks into Joshua’s eyes and, inexplicably, blushes.
“Yeah. Are you wearing eyeliner?” he mutters.
Joshua can feel his face heat up. “I was getting ready before you barged in. Is it too much? Should I take it—“
Mingyu rushes a bunch of words out of his mouth. “Noleaveitonplease.”
Joshua stops from where he’s hopped off the counter, but Mingyu’s immobile in front of him, leaving them probably four inches apart when Joshua looks up at him.
Mingyu seems to take a deep breath.
“No, leave it on. It looks good.” He steps back, and let’s Joshua out of the bathroom first. Joshua looks back, letting a slow smile take over his face, before he turns to walk to the doorway.
He hears a small thump that sounds suspiciously like someone’s foot hitting a door and a muffled fuck but before he can turn back Mingyu’s wrapped his mile-long arms around Joshua’s thin body. This hug is a lot less forced, and Joshua can feel his cheeks heat up. Definitely all that damn tequila.
“Hyung. Let’s have fun tonight.” Mingyu says, slurring just a little and Joshua laughs, twisting around. He holds the tequila bottle up to Mingyu’s lips, and Mingyu takes it by the neck, tilting back a small gulp as Joshua watches the column of his throat and—
“Okaaaay Gyu.” He says quietly. Mingyu grins as he swallows.
- - -
Joshua is twenty when he meets and also almost kisses Mingyu. It goes like this: A boy falls gracelessly with a muffled crash from the tree Joshua sneaks away to sit under at a too-loud, too-drunk party going on inside the house.
“What the fuck.” Joshua yelps, hands scrambling to see if the awkward mess of limbs is okay.
The boy has landed somewhere between the ground in front of him and Joshua’s lap, most of his upper torso stretched over Joshua’s knees. No one inside seems to notice. The boy groans simultaneously with Joshua.
He seems a little breathless and a whole lot embarrassed but otherwise intact when he finally opens his eyes. He’s still got half his body draped over Joshua, and when he meets Joshua’s frantic downward gaze, he blushes, but doesn’t look away or make to move.
“Hi.” he breathes out.
“Hi.” Joshua says back, biting his lip. The boy smiles widely, showing two pointed teeth. Joshua continues.
“Are you, uh, okay?”
The boy blinks, then seems to realize he’s still lying in Joshua’s lap, stutters out an apology, and rolls off of him.
“Oh, ow.” He winces, attempting to sit up a little. Joshua leans forward to help, but the boy waves him off. He does a check of all his limbs from where he’s seated across from Joshua, and seems delighted. He grins at Joshua like they’re both in on a secret.
“Nothing’s broken!” he declares. He swings his legs around and sit’s cross-legged. Leaning forward, he stares with big eyes at Joshua, who says nothing. He’s still got a silly smile on his face, like he didn’t just fall out of a tree into Joshua’s literal lap.
Joshua notices that the boy’s shoulders haven’t quite filled out and that now that he’s sitting up he’s definitely taller than him.
It’s silent for a moment.
“Uh… this might be inappropriate but… why were you up a tree?” Joshua asks delicately, furrowing his brow a little in confusion. He rubs absently at his knees, which seem to be waking up to the realization that a small giant has used them as a landing pad.
The boy seems to remember that that is what happened.
“Oh!” He blushes, then lets out a groan. “I was, uh, avoiding someone. Someone I didn’t expect to be here. My ex.”
Joshua raises an eyebrow. “…so you…climbed a tree?”
The boy looks even more sheepish at this.
“Yeah! He was coming outside and I had nowhere to go so…” he trails off, giving Joshua a pleading look. “Look, I’m not an idiot, I swear.”
“I didn’t say you were…” Joshua muses. He bites back a grin.
The boy pouts, then starts talking fast. “It’s just that university’s been harder than I thought and I just wanted to go to a party for once but Jaehyun is here and things were so fucking awful when it ended and I thought I could get down but you came out and you’re so pretty and I didn’t want to look like a fucking idiot so I was gonna stay in the tree but—“
Jesus, when does he breathe?
“Woah, woah, slow down, it’s okay, it’s okay!” Joshua soothes, holding two hands up in a placating gesture even though his ears are burning with you’re so pretty you’re so pretty you’re so pretty.
The boy takes a really deep breath, and exhales noisily.
“Sorry, my best friend always says that I tend to think without realizing that my mouth is still moving faster than my brain.”
Joshua does laugh at that. The boy looks so crushed at this remembrance.
“That’s not a very good best friend.” He chides.
The boy shakes his head comically from side to side, looking horrified. “No, no, Minghao is really great, he just doesn’t know that words can hurt. He’s Chinese.” The boy adds, like this explains everything.
“Right.” Joshua smiles, unbelievably fond for no reason.
The boy seems to realize that they’re still sitting on the ground. He scrambles to his feet quickly, wincing again as his legs stretch out, and yeah, he’s definitely taller than Joshua. He offers a hand to Joshua, who quickly grabs it to pull himself up as well. He let’s go of the boy’s overly large palm and brushes the dirt from his pants.
“He’s the one who told me to come out and meet new people.” The boys says once they’re up.
“And how’s that going?”
“A guy in my drawing class invited me, but I don’t know where he went.”
The boy opens his mouth and then promptly closes it when the back door to the house swings open. A tall, handsome boy in a bomber jacket walks out with a beer in hand, pulling someone along with him and laughing.
“Oh no.” The boy next to Joshua whispers, horrified.
“Mingyu?” The handsome boy at the door says to him, running a hand back through his hair. The girl next to him peers at them, clearly a little tipsy, curious.
The boy—Mingyu—let’s out a really awkward laugh.
“Oh, ha, ha, Jaehyun, nice to see you.”
The handsome one, Jaehyun, as in Mingyu’s ex-boyfriend, smiles uncomfortably. His eyes look Joshua up and down, almost scornfully, and all of the sudden Joshua feels inexplicably angry. He moves close to Mingyu’s side and softly twines their hands together, pulling himself next to him. Mingyu’s head whips sideways to look at him.
“Jaehyun? I don’t think Mingyu’s ever mentioned you before.” Joshua murmurs. The plastic smile on Jaehyun’s face stops for a second before it returns with a little bit of strain.
“Oh really? Mingyu and I used to be… close.” Jaehyun smirks. The girl next to him sends him a questioning look, but Jaehyun’s locked his eyes with Joshua now.
He can feel Mingyu freeze next to him. Joshua squeezes his hand, trying to be reassuring. He turns to look at Mingyu, who still looks torn between embarrassment and disbelief. Joshua holds his gaze, smiling widely.
“Closer than you and me, Mingyu-ya?” Joshua says, faking a loud whisper. Mingyu looks dazed as Joshua continues to look at him encouragingly, and maybe he’s not bad at mind-reading because he seems to snap out of it and look back at Joshua with a small smile that makes his eyes glow.
“No, of course not.”
For a second, Joshua’s breath catches as he feels Mingyu squeeze his hand back. There’s no party, no weird ex-boyfriend, they aren’t even strangers, there’s just the two of them and the way Mingyu, the boy who fell from a tree, is looking at him right now. Jaehyun coughs uncomfortably, and Joshua abruptly realizes that there’s still two other people standing next to them.
“I think Mina and I are gonna…” Jaehyun trails off, scratching the back of his head and looking at Mingyu for a second longer. He turns to the door and slips inside while the girl follows, calling out his name.
Mingyu’s still staring, and there’s gratitude and something else, something innocent and blooming. He runs a tongue over his lips before speaking again.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.” He looks down at their hands, still joined. Joshua looks down too.
“Oh. Well. It was really, really no problem.” He says, concentrating on their hands. He can feel a blush makes it’s way up his neck. Mingyu still hasn’t let go.
They look back at one another for a moment before Joshua opens his mouth and closes it. And then Mingyu looks like he’s about to be run over by a truck, like he’s seeing the stars for the first time, and Joshua leans in like he can’t help himself to this strange tree-boy who’s got some real nice looking pink lips and—
Bang! The back door of the house opens again, loudly, and on instinct Joshua immediately shoves Mingyu back, letting go of his hand. Mingyu falls to the ground with a look of utter surprise. To Joshua’s never-ending horror his best friend, Jeon Wonwoo, stumbles out, stares at the two of them, and bursts out laughing.
“Kim Mingyu,” Wonwoo chokes out, clutching at Joshua for support, who doesn’t see what’s so damn funny. “I see you’ve met my roommate, Joshua Hong.”
Mingyu looks at Joshua, still a little off-balance from where he’s on the ground. “Your name is Joshua?” he says, tilting his head.
Joshua and Wonwoo both speak at the same time.
“Yeah, it is—“
“Wait, what.” Wonwoo cuts off, looking confused and delighted all at once. “You don’t know Josh’s name? But you were about to—”
Joshua puts his face into his hands and groans. Mingyu’s still on the ground.
“Can we please,” he pleads, “just start over.”
Mingyu still doesn’t look like he knows what’s going on, but he nods slowly. Joshua might be imagining the smallest crease of a frown, but it’s gone before he can pinpoint it for sure. Mingyu gets up, brushes some leaves from his pants, and winces at Wonwoo and Joshua.
“Does that mean I have to fall out of the tree again?”
When he thinks back on this moment, Joshua will realize that things with Mingyu have never been normal.
- - -
This night is going to be a very miserable repeat of all the other nights, but Joshua is prepared. They’re literally always at the same bar with their same angst-ridden friends—NO F.U.N.—and lately they’ve been getting a little messier as everyone slowly learns that their alcohol tolerance isn’t quite what it used to be when most of them were in university. Mingyu still drinks like he’s eighteen even though he’s a respectable 24-year-old masters student, and he unavoidably brings exotic liquor he’s stolen from Minghao over to Joshua’s place before each of these terrible nights.
Inevitably, as the night progresses to the bar, someone will want to dance and eventually Joshua will remember that he’s too old for this shit and Mingyu will start nodding his head at him and Joshua will shake his head no and Mingyu will, predictably, start dancing with one of their equally drunk friends that isn’t Joshua and Wonwoo will look at Joshua like he’s an idiot and make furious gestures with his eyebrows and Joshua will shake his head hoping Mingyu didn’t see, and then Mingyu will get off the dancefloor drenched in sweat and slur something loudly in Joshua’s ear about taking chances and Joshua will push his face away and wait maybe 30 more minutes before taking Mingyu’s drunk ass home before he can embarrass him any further. Tonight will be no different.
The bar is noisy and crowded as always for a Friday night, but Soonyoung’s made a reservation in the back that offers their group some seclusion, a few tables crammed next to the wall of booth seats.
“Mingyu and Joshua are here!” Jeonghan calls down the table, and their friends raise their glasses in greeting. They’re the last to arrive, by the looks of it.
“Minshua.” Soonyoung says dreamily, slurring already. Mingyu snorts and smacks the back of his head.
“Stop that.” He says, shoving Joshua into the end of the booth before sitting down as well.
Chan nods thoughtfully. “That’s better than JoshGyu.”
Seokmin joins in. “What about their last names? We could go with… KimHo.”
“Stop giving us a ship name! Mingyu and I aren’t a ship.” Joshua finally bursts out. His eyes find Mingyu’s again, who raises his eyebrows at him and winks, before Chan clears his throat pointedly and looks down.
Okay, it looks bad. Mingyu’s squeezed into the booth at the end next to him, half of his humongous body on Joshua’s. Joshua’s got an arm around his waist so he doesn’t fall out of the end and what? Is that not normal?
“Did you two get ready together?” Chan asks with a neutral tone.
Mingyu waves a hand. “Hyung can’t dress himself.”
“And you pre-drank together. Without us. Which is why you were late, to your own party, hyung.” Chan continues.
“Tradition.” Joshua answers for him, defensively.
“Both of you reek of tequila.” Seokmin adds, giggling with all his teeth out.
“So we got started a little early, no harm in—“ Mingyu starts stuttering out. Chan gives a long-suffering sigh and rolls his eyes, but doesn’t continue. Minghao comes back from the bar and drops two drinks in front of them, one fruity and pink for Joshua and the other a dark beer for Mingyu.
“Drink up, idiots.” He says before slinking back to Junhui at the other end of the table. Mingyu and Joshua look at each other and Mingyu grins before swapping their drinks and taking a long sip from the obscenely bright concoction in front of him. Joshua takes a long sip from the beer. Seokmin giggles again before turning to Soonyoung and joining in on his conversation with Jeonghan.
They catch up with their friends, giggling and laughing. Joshua tells everyone that yes he’s making progress on his novel and Mingyu fidgets in his seat as he responds to Seungcheol that yes his portfolio is getting done, thanks Dad and through it all Joshua keeps his arm around Mingyu’s waist and Mingyu leans his body into Joshua’s. They order a second round of drinks.
Down the table, near Minghao and Junhui, Hansol and Seungkwan are having a whispered debate with each other and shooting Mingyu furtive looks every few seconds. Joshua narrows his eyes a little when Hansol sneaks another look at them and then makes a surprised noise when he notices that he’s been caught. Seungkwan shushes him and plasters a smile on his face, waving airily at Joshua.
“Hey hyung how’s it—“ he starts simpering.
“Hey, isn’t that my coat?” Junhui calls at them. Mingyu’s eyes widen.
“Is it?” He looks down at himself, peering more closely at the cuffs. He sits back up, looking chagrined.
“Why would Mingyu have left your coat at my house?” Joshua says back, putting the bottle down, confused.
“Mingyu left it at your house?” Jeonghan interrupts, cutting off his conversation with Seokmin and Soonyoung, “At one of your sleepovers?”
“They’re not sleepovers—” Joshua starts.
“I don’t understand why you two don’t live together.” Hansol muses. Then he inexplicably yelps, like someone’s kicked him.
Joshua and Mingyu share a look. Well, Mingyu gives Joshua an apologetic look from where he’s crammed next to him, twisting his face almost all the way with a nervous smile.
“We’ve been through this, Joshua-hyung—“
“Mingyu, stop stealing my clothes and leaving them at your boyfriend’s house.” Junhui pouts. Minghao puts a placating hand on his arm.
“I’m not Mingyu’s—“ Joshua starts.
“Boyfriend, yes yes, we know.” Seungkwan finishes impatiently. Joshua blushes, but is saved by Wonwoo who interrupts and says—
“Didn’t you guys kiss once? Is that why you can’t live together?” He’s got a smirk on his face.
The entire table goes silent for all of half a second before there’s a general uproar. Soonyoung looks delighted, and Hansol seems to be pulling out his wallet? Already? He’s got a drink in front of him and Seungcheol has to bang his fist down a few times in the middle of the table before everyone quiets. Wonwoo looks pleased with himself.
“Whether they kissed or not is none of our business,” Seungcheol says maturely, “we’re all grown adults and Mingyu and Joshua can do whatever they want.” Everyone nods a little embarrassedly, everyone but Wonwoo, who rolls his eyes looking rebellious, but then Seungcheol looks directly at Mingyu’s red face and says waspishly, “So for the sake of everyone’s sanity, you’re going to have to tell us exactly when and why you kissed.” He clasps his hands on top of the table and leans forward, and everyone else nods expectantly.
Joshua and Mingyu share another look. Joshua tries to convey no with his eyes and Mingyu looks at him blankly, blinking without understanding, and Mingyu’s always been shit at mind-reading and before Joshua can even say please don’t they’re both turning to everyone else and speaking at the same time—
“We were going to sleep and—“ Joshua starts.
“I fell out of a tree—“ Mingyu mutters.
“The tree doesn’t count, Mingyu!” Joshua says quickly, because, well, it doesn’t and they’ve had an unspoken rule to never bring it up so what’s Mingyu doing now? Mingyu turns impossibly red again in the ensuing deafening silence. Wonwoo looks like he usually does on his own birthday: drunkenly overjoyed at this new development.
“What do you mean you were in bed—“ Seokmin starts, confused.
Soonyoung knocks his empty glass over, startling everyone. And then Chan appears at the edge of the table—hey when did Chan get up?—with a tray of shot glasses, pushing it down next to Mingyu and exclaiming loudly.
“Okaaaaaay, time for shots, you awkward weirdos!” There’s a flurry of noise and activity as everyone reaches for the shots, and Joshua vaguely hears Minghao mutter “To Mingyu” or something down the table.
Joshua’s still staring at Mingyu, who grabs for his, downs it in one go, and smiles weakly down at the table. Seokmin, thankfully, throws them a bone by starting a loud conversation with “so I went on a date last week,” (Soonyoung’s smile droops a little) leaving Mingyu to gulp messily and shift from where he’s still half sitting on Joshua. He fumbles out of the seat, muttering something about water before getting up and walking straight out of the bar. Joshua watches him go before someone comes and takes Mingyu’s seat, exasperated.
“You’re the worst adult I’ve ever met, hyung.” Joshua turns, and Jihoon is wearing a very tired, long-suffering look on his face and has Jihoon been here the whole time?
Joshua takes a long, deep drink from his beer, wincing, before murmuring a soft “I know.”
Jihoon is probably the most successful of the lot of them, going on four years with Seungcheol and working a steady job he loves, so he’s allowed to say it.
“You know Mingyu is basically a giant soft teddy bear masquerading as an oversized human, right?” He continues offhandedly. “How bad can it go, really?”
Joshua doesn’t want to have this conversation so he reaches for his fourth—fifth?—shot of the night, trembling only slightly, and for once he really is done with all this talking. Once it’s down (vodka, fuck Chan), he gets up with a huff, pushing Jihoon out of the booth before him, swaying a little, but more out of nerves than actual alcohol. Jihoon stumbles at the sudden shove, sloshing his beer on the floor and looking incredulous before he sees the look on Joshua’s face and grins. Joshua looks back at the table, locking eyes with Wonwoo who tilts his head as if to say yes, and Joshua nods, breathing deeply, and starts making his way outside. Hansol gives a half-hearted, cut-off whoop.
Mingyu’s leaning against the brick next to the entrance, slightly hunched over with his hands on his knees and a look of intense concentration. When he sees Joshua stop in front of him, he quickly stands up and let’s loose a small smile through the faint haze of alcohol. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and then he stops smiling all together when he sees the look on Joshua’s face. His eyes take on a weird, driven and lucid sort of burning when they meet, and right when Joshua is about to open his mouth Mingyu cuts him off, grabbing for Joshua’s hand in his larger one and latching on tightly.
“Let’s dance.”
Joshua stares a little too long, because this is different, Mingyu is always touchy and they’ve always been like this but this feels different and if Joshua thinks about it he hasn’t danced with Mingyu since that night years ago and really it was because of that night that he’s stopped—
Mingyu’s looking right into his eyes again when he leans his forehead against Joshua’s lightly, needy. “Please.”
Joshua swallows and nods, letting Mingyu pull him back inside.
- - -
Joshua is twenty-two when he doesn’t kiss Mingyu but he’s certain that he’s in love with him. He’s flying back from visiting his family for three weeks, and knows that he must look like a mess of jet lag and long-distance travel. He’s exhausted and a little sad, not looking forward to the bus ride home, but he’s broke and there’s no way he can afford a taxi all the way from Incheon to his apartment.
After he clears customs he exits the baggage claim lugging a broken-handled suitcase with a wonky wheel, contemplating grabbing a coffee so he doesn’t fall asleep. He stops abruptly when he sees a boy with too-long limbs and broad shoulders slumped near a barrier with a lopsided and surprisingly artistic sign.
Welcome home, hyung!
The boy bolts upright with all twenty years of enthusiasm, and drops the sign as he runs to Joshua, picking him up and giggling as he does it. He holds Joshua close, whispering I missed you so much with nothing but earnest and happy longing, and Joshua winces as Mingyu’s elbows dig into his sides a little, but he’s laughing. They touch foreheads and for a wild, wonderful second Mingyu seems to be leaning closer and closer but Joshua thinks something like panic flashes across his face and then the moment is gone, and Mingyu is tilting his head back and putting Joshua on the ground. Mingyu looks unbelievably happy as he grabs Joshua’s suitcase with one hand, picking it up with his absurd young-adult strength. Joshua rolls his eyes to hide the fact that his heart’s still pounding.
“You didn’t have to come to the airport, Gyu. I’m sure you have important things to do.” Joshua chides as they walk. Mingyu shrugs like he hasn’t made an hour-long journey just to turn around and make the same journey back.
“You’re important.” He says simply.
Joshua tries to hide his smile, but when he looks up Mingyu is looking back at him again with the same stars he’s had since the day they met. Maybe the bus ride back won’t be so long after all.
- - -
Mingyu pulls him into the bar by the hand, looking back once at Joshua with the same wordless, burning look.
- - -
Joshua is twenty-four when he slips up and kisses Mingyu. He falls asleep on Mingyu’s shoulder as they watch Mingyu’s favourite movie (The Emperor’s New Groove) for the second time in two days, having turned down Chan and Soonyoung’s pleading request to go out. He recalls being picked up and carried to his cramped bedroom, with clumsy and large hands tugging his sweater off of him and folding blankets over. There are some faint noises of movement, the bathroom door opening and closing, before large footsteps end up at his bed again. He feels Mingyu slip in next to him as always, and in a moment of lucidity, he turns to face him.
Mingyu’s eyes are wide and there’s a poetic sliver of moonlight framing him. Usually when Joshua looks at him he’s all smiles, but for a moment he seems to freeze. Joshua thinks he looks beautiful like this, and it’s undeniable that Mingyu has grown in the years they’ve known each other, jawline sharpening and shoulders sturdy. Joshua forgets himself for a moment, loses the threads of a future conversation in the depth of Mingyu’s eyes, when he leans forward and presses his lips against his.
He hears and feels Mingyu’s surprised gasp, pulls away, before he remembers himself and blinks, wide awake, at Mingyu, who’s still looking at him with wide, unreadable eyes. Joshua feels his cheek heat up, and pushes back a little in the small space between them.
“Sorry. That was uncalled for.” Joshua murmurs. Mingyu blinks, but moves one arm to draw Joshua close, gently pressing him to the wide crook of his neck. Joshua can feel himself shaking, and knows that Mingyu feels it too.
“Sssh. It’s okay.” Mingyu whispers. Joshua nods, let’s himself be comforted even when his heart can’t stop it’s frantic pacing. Eventually, he falls asleep, breaths evening out across Mingyu’s collarbone.
When they wake up, Joshua blushes and tries to apologize, but Mingyu smiles at him with sunlight in his eyes.
“It doesn’t bother me, hyung.”
So Joshua nods, and for the most part, some things go back to normal. He doesn’t kiss Mingyu again.
- - -
Joshua is twenty-six when Mingyu puts his hands on his waist and draws him close at a bar after pulling him in to dance. Joshua is twenty-six when he twines his arms around Mingyu’s neck and let’s their hips touch. Joshua is twenty-six when he dances with Mingyu for the first time in two years with the taste of mango tequila on his tongue. The music is loud and they’ve been at this club so often that every bartender knows their names but some part of Joshua feels like he’s dreaming as Mingyu pulls him closer, flush against his body. They’re surrounded by people, faceless and blurry and inconsequential. Joshua lets himself be pulled closer still as he moves his body, tightens his hold around Mingyu’s neck. He presses his forehead somewhere against Mingyu’s face.
They hold each other close, and somewhere around them Joshua catches glimpses of familiar faces, but it’s all a wash. There’s a reckless yearning in his veins, and when it feels like he can’t get any closer—when Mingyu’s jerky movements go from a little shakey to suspiciously smooth, when he can feel and name every part of him that’s connected to this big and beautiful boy in front of him—Joshua pulls away, to Mingyu’s surprise.
He leans forward, straining a little, to whisper in Mingyu’s ear.
“Let’s go.”
Mingyu has that look in his eyes again, like he’s holding constellations, when he nods.
- - -
They take a taxi without saying goodbye to anyone, and sometime on the way home Mingyu’s got his large hand around Joshua’s slender fingers. There’s something pulsating between them, tense and mounting and warm. It’s Joshua that can’t stop staring, and maybe Mingyu’s staring back.
Joshua’s hands don’t fumble as he slips a key inside the door, but he can feel the heat of Mingyu’s body so close to his. When he gets it open, Mingyu trips a little and they both laugh, hands still clasped tightly. Joshua toes off his shoes, waits for Mingyu to do the same, before he steers Mingyu to the couch and pushes him down. Mingyu looks star struck as Joshua climbs onto him, straddling his thighs, finally letting go of Joshua’s hand to take Joshua by the waist again as Joshua crosses his arms behind Mingyu’s head. He pulls him close until their bodies are touching, and every point of contact is fire and flame.
Joshua leans his forehead against Mingyu’s, and at the last possible second before he can’t turn back, he freezes, eyes widening as he realizes what he’s about to do. Everything feels different, but they’ve been here before.
Mingyu smiles so softly that Joshua’s heart swells three sizes. There’s a deep adoration and fondness in Mingyu’s eyes as he looks at Joshua, and Joshua realizes for the first time that Mingyu’s always looked at him like this. He brings up a hand to cup Joshua’s cheek, and the gesture is so tender that Joshua has to hold back a trembling, choking sound that escapes involuntarily from his body. He feels his eyes gather hot tears, and as one falls Mingyu smiles gently and wipes it away with a callused thumb.
“Hey. I’ve got you.” He murmurs, and Joshua swallows. There’s a quiet moment between them, a heartbeat or two, before Joshua’s pulse calms enough for him to open his mouth with a quiet, necessary exhale.
“Gyu.” He whispers. Mingyu’s eyes are starlight, vast and shining.
“Hyung.”
“Gyu.” Joshua whispers again, urgently, and Mingyu must understand what he’s trying to convey for once, because a feral look overcomes him and Joshua is twenty-six when Mingyu closes the short, breathless distance between their lips, one hand behind Joshua’s head and the other wrapped around his waist as he pulls and pulls and pulls and Joshua feels something hungry awaken in his body. Mingyu’s lips are firm and supple, and when Joshua’s tongue teases between them Mingyu gasps and let’s out a muted noise of surprise and god it’s everything he’s dreamed and nothing like he’s ever known he could want—
- - -
Joshua is twenty-five when he’s sprawled starfish on Wonwoo’s bed. After twenty minutes of Wonwoo clicking around on his computer he turns to look at Joshua.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re lying on my bed at 4AM on a Wednesday night?” he asks conversationally.
Joshua groans.
“I love him.” He says blandly.
Wonwoo snorts.
“Well yeah.” He turns back to his game, loading a new session.
“So much.” Joshua adds, quieter.
“I know.” Wonwoo says, sighing. He let’s Joshua stay the night.
- - -
Joshua pulls back, breathes deeply like his very foundation is shuddering, and feels dizzy as Mingyu pants against his mouth. He says something, softly, that he’s said a thousand times before, but this is different, irreversible. Mingyu shakes beneath him.
“You love me?” Mingyu repeats in wonder. His lips find Joshua’s briefly, a butterfly’s brush.
“Of course.” Joshua whispers. Mingyu trembles, and Joshua tightens his hold around his neck.
It’s silent for a minute, an eternity. Mingyu is so quiet.
“It’s always been you.” He says simply, finally.
For a minute everything changes, but this time Joshua leans in and kisses Mingyu again, and again, and again. It's the most normal thing in the world.