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game 1
The whistle blew, and Eleanor was ready. She watched Velvet’s thick, glossy braid curve in that distinct, enrapturing arc as Velvet ripped around and shouted, clear and strong, “Eleanor!”
She wasn’t about to let herself be distracted by Velvet’s beauty—or Velvet’s everything—and Eleanor speared the ring as it flew towards her. Eyes up! Everyone else on the ice had started to move; to her right, Teresa was skating towards her, meeting Eleanor’s eye with a single nod as she did.
Of course! They would swap sides and throw off the other team’s wingers while their front line got into position: it was trick they’d done plenty of times before. Eleanor felt the cloud of wavy blonde hair streak past her as she skated, and not for the first time wondered how on earth Teresa could stand to play with it loose. Then again, if she braided it, she’d look like—
“Pay attention, Eleanor!” Velvet’s voice again, grounding and strong and sharp this time; Eleanor ducked aside the opposing player’s attack and passed the ring along the boards, heading straight for Sheena. It cleared the blue line and Sheena snagged it.
It was with their offense now and, as a defense player, Eleanor could spare a moment to watch Velvet in peace. It was easy to say Velvet was in her element on the attack, but truthfully Eleanor could only say that Velvet was simply amazing in all aspects of the sport. She wished she could say the same about herself; she bit down on her lower lip as she watched Sheena and Niko pass the ring around the offensive zone, while Velvet made herself big and bold in front of the goalie’s crease.
Eleanor wished a lot of things.
“We won!” Eleanor laughed along with everyone else as they crowded into the changing room, jubilant and sweaty.
“And we got a shutout.” Rita crowed her triumph before dropping down on the rubber mat-coated floor to unbuckle her bright red and gold goalie pads. The rest of the team bumped them with their sticks as they filed past her.
“Two to nothing is a good start.” Milla nodded, settling down and extending her leg gently out alongside her. Lailah hurried over with the heating pack; she’d left the bench just after the game’s final whistle to prepare it, and Milla accepted the pack gratefully.
Eleanor couldn’t keep herself from smiling: it was only in the last few months that Milla’s physiotherapist had cleared her to play again, and a season-and-a-half without her had felt strange. Until her injury, Milla had been the team Captain as long as Eleanor had been playing ringette.
“Don’t get comfortable.” Edna chided, entering the dressing room last and dropping the container filled with their water bottles to the floor with a thud.
“At least let us celebrate a little, Coach!” Colette tried, but Edna shook her head and pointed her finger, directing it at each of them in turn,
“The second you all get comfy is the second you lose these playoffs. You hear me?”
A few of them nodded, and Anise piped up, “There were a few times when we almost got caught.” She pushed off her helmet and shook out her hair, turning to look at Cheria, “Like when—”
“Don’t blame anyone.” Sophie interrupted as she pulled off her jersey, emblazoned with an ‘A’ for Assistant Captain. Cheria, pink-cheeked, ducked her head.
“Right.” Velvet agreed; her husky voice commanded Eleanor’s attention right away. Even though she’d stepped into the Captain’s role for this whole season, Eleanor watched Velvet wait for Edna to shrug and sit down with her arms crossed before she went on. “We played well today, but we need to play just as well for the next three games to win this. Just keep your head up, communicate, and trust each other. We’ll do fine.”
Surreptitiously, Milla cleared her throat from the corner of the room.
Velvet coloured, but stayed tall, adding, “Good job today, team.”
“Thanks Captain!” Niko grinned, leaning forward to punch Velvet affectionately on the shoulder. Watching it made an emotion Eleanor couldn’t name burn inside her; watching Velvet smile in response and settle down next to Niko turned the emotion to cool sludge in her stomach.
Colette and Sheena turned to chat with one another, and just like that, the moment slid by as they all turned their attention to changing out of their gear. The next game would be in two days.
game 2
“Good defense out there, Eleanor.” Sheena called as she exited the arena, both hers and Colette’s gear hoisted effortlessly over one shoulder.
“Oh thanks!” Eleanor felt her face go bright red, and she rubbed the back of her head with one hand. “But we let one in this time.”
“We’ll get them next time too!” Anise interrupted as she barrelled past them, waving rapidly as she went. Eleanor had never managed to find out who the man with brown hair and glasses who collected Anise from games was, but he always seemed to arrive right at the end of their games, and Anise always hurried to leave with him.
Sheena blinked after the departing Anise, then shrugged. “So what? Two to one is still a win.”
“I can’t believe how well we’ve all been playing!” Colette smiled brightly from Sheena’s other side, and Eleanor watched Sheena’s eyes warm as they flicked over Colette.
“If we keep this up, we’ll win for sure.” Sheena nodded firmly and raised one hand to wave farewell—Eleanor wished she felt as confident, even while the excitement bubbled inside her. They were doing well so far. But that line of thinking wasn’t enough to distract her from seeing Colette’s hand tucked safely inside Sheena’s, which made her throat feel smaller than it had been a moment before.
Teresa and Oscar filed past her, so engrossed in their own conversation that they didn’t think to notice her. Before anyone else could catch her standing aimlessly at the entrance to the arena, Eleanor hefted her bag of equipment and went to her car. Then she sat in the driver’s seat and made a show of checking her phone, while she watched her teammates exit the arena in her rearview mirror. Rita burst out the door like a firework, explosive in her frustration that the opposing team got one past her. On her arm was the pink-haired woman, Estelle, and waiting in the car they eventually sped off in was the tall, mysterious Judith, who rarely watched their games but always drove Rita and Estelle both to and from the arena.
Sophie and Cheria left together too; Eleanor was sure Cheria was on the phone with Richard as they left, giving him the details of their victory to share with Asbel and Hubert. When Eleanor imagined their cosy, shared, four-bedroom house on the outskirts of town, her own one-room apartment felt forlorn and cold by comparison.
Milla exited alone, but Lailah and Edna followed close behind her. Their former captain always looked so calm and collected, with the distinct streak of green dyed in her long bangs. Eleanor let out a little huff as Milla waved to their coaches, and all three of them went off to their own vehicles. The parking lot was nearly empty now.
Why hadn’t Velvet left yet?
Eleanor felt her lip between her teeth and then her knuckles went white on the steering wheel as Niko twirled around Velvet, moving her hands animatedly as her braids danced back and forth. Velvet’s expression… Eleanor stared, safe in the privacy of her car, at the soft and warm expression on Velvet’s face. It brought out the deep, burnished colour of her eyes, aglow like a candle lit just one room away.
Her phone chirped, and Eleanor shrieked—then she clapped her hands over her mouth and ducked out of sight, just in case Velvet and Niko had heard her. When she managed to bring her phone towards her, the offending surprise was a text from Teresa.
‘if you’re going to keep mooning, you need to say something’
“Shut up!” Eleanor muttered, peeking up from the edge of her window. Oscar was driving, and Teresa waved three fingers goodbye as they peeled out of the parking lot. Far too fast, too—it was dangerous to drive recklessly in a parking lot! Shaking her head, Eleanor chanced a glance at her side mirror: Niko was gone now, and Velvet was staring after the departing car with a puzzled expression on her face. All the softness was gone, replaced by something pensive and lustrous instead. Velvet’s braid was loose but still tied, the way it always was after a game.
Eleanor wished she could stroke that hair.
Velvet exhaled, her breath clouding before her in the cool of the evening, and then she too, turned to leave.
game 3
Eleanor was on the ice when it happened.
It didn’t seem right, that the enemy player skating half-past, half-through Milla should lose them the game. There wasn’t anything wrong with skating like that: the opposing player didn’t even get a penalty for it. Everyone got into close contact from time to time, especially when they were fighting for possession in the corner. Even though ringette was a non-contact sport, Eleanor knew she went home with bruises more often than not.
The moment they lost was when Milla fell: they all heard her cry out distinctly as she landed badly on her hip.
“Hey!” Eleanor heard Velvet roar from the bench, but she didn’t have time to look, half of her attention fixated on Milla’s fallen form and the other half on the skater coming towards her with the ring. Eleanor knew it was her job to defend Rita’s net, but all she could do was stare at Milla, praying that she would push herself up and leave the ice.
She didn’t, and the referee stopped play.
Instantly, Cheria skated to Milla’s side and went down to one knee next to her, “Milla, are you okay? Let me help you.”
Milla, always so loathe to ask for help, winced in Cheria’s direction and took her outstretched arm, pushing herself shakily to her feet. Eleanor felt her heart swell as cheers erupted around the arena and the enemy team thumped and kicked the boards with their sticks and skates; she remembered how scary it had been the last time Milla had fallen and couldn’t get up, and how no one had felt good enough to cheer when paramedics arrived to remove her from the ice in a stretcher. Milla kept all her weight on her good leg, and leaned heavily onto Cheria’s shoulder—a second later, Sophie appeared on Milla’s other side, helping to guide her to the bench.
“We’re changing lines.” Velvet growled as she stormed onto the ice, looking like a hurricane breaking against the shore. As Eleanor shuffled into place on the bench, she heard Edna lean towards Sophie and ask her to play center for the last five minutes of the game, and maybe the next one. Eleanor kept her sigh to herself; it would be tiring, Eleanor knew, but Sophie could handle it. She turned her attention back to the ice.
Sheena, Niko, Colette, Anise, and Velvet skated into their positions as the enemy took theirs; Eleanor chewed her bottom lip as she glanced at the clock. Five minutes and thirty-two seconds left, with no score on either side. It was the enemy’s possession, in the middle of the rink… they had to be okay. Please let it be okay. Eleanor clenched her hands and hoped.
Even before the whistle blew, Eleanor could see the difference in Velvet. Her gaze was intensely focused, her shoulders were down, and she wasn’t looking for the ring at all. The sound of the whistle rang out, and Velvet charged, like a bull, for the player who’d hit Milla, going right for her feet.
“Velvet, don’t!” Eleanor heard her own voice, too shrill and too desperate and far too late, but it didn’t matter. Velvet tripped the opposing player, and the referee blew the whistle again.
From there, everything was predictable. Velvet scowled from the penalty box while Colette and Anise put up a brave fight, but with three on two, the other team eventually got around them. The shooter feigned left and Rita lunged for the ring, then the enemy flung the ring into the opposite corner of the net.
“No!” Eleanor shouted, but that was it: the game was over.
game 4
As Eleanor approached the arena with her equipment bag over her shoulder, her stomach kept doing little flips, reminding her how awkward the dressing room had felt after their loss two days earlier. Subdued and quiet, the atmosphere had been heavy and the only person who’d dared to talk was Edna, who’d said simply, “I warned you.” It wasn’t an environment she was excited to experience again.
Eleanor spotted Teresa in the lobby as she entered; Teresa was lounging on one of the benches, apparently engrossed in conversation with Oscar and trailing her hand up and down his shoulder. As Eleanor lignered, considering whether or not it was worth trying to engage with her, Teresa tilted her head back and called, “Afraid, Eleanor? She’s not here yet.”
Eleanor jumped, but tightened her grip around her bag. If Teresa was going to talk to her first, then it made the decision a little bit easier. Ignoring the flush she could feel on her cheeks, she asked, “Aren’t you getting ready?”
“I will.” Teresa smiled, coolly turning her attention away from Eleanor and back to her brother, “It’s just so lonely in there all by myself.”
Well… well fine! Eleanor exhaled a huff through her nose and turned on her heel; what Teresa was ever thinking was absolutely beyond her. She tried to ignore the sound of Teresa and Oscar chuckling to themselves as she marched away, chin held high.
At least the changing room was indeed empty when she arrived. Alone with her mood, Eleanor threw her bag to the floor and grumpily sat down on the bench. Whatever Teresa wanted to do was fine by her! They could be teammates, but they certainly weren’t friends, oh no. And why did Teresa think she could get away with baiting Eleanor about her crush on Velvet when Teresa seemed to have a crush on her own brother?! “Oooh, she makes me so mad!” Eleanor shot upright in a burst of frustration and realised at that moment that she needed to pee.
There were toilets on the other side of the lobby, but that would mean walking in front of Teresa and Oscar again, and Eleanor didn’t think she could stand that. So instead she elected to use the stall in the changing room: a cramped, uncomfortable space with little more than a toilet and sink, but it was better than being subjected to any more embarrassment. Just after she turned the lock and done her business, Eleanor froze as she heard Velvet’s voice.
“So I’m supposed to lie to them!?” Velvet was growling; then there was a loud thump as a bag of gear hit the floor.
“It shouldn’t be lying.” Milla’s voice, ever reasonable, and Eleanor swore she’d never pee again if it meant she didn’t have to overhear conversations she shouldn’t. “It should be true. Do you think we can win? Then say so, regardless of what happened last time. Don’t you have any faith in them?”
“I have faith in them.” Velvet retorted, and Eleanor wanted to hug her. She heard it, even before Milla reiterated.
“But you don’t have faith in yourself.” Milla sighed; then Eleanor heard the sound of her propping her leg up on the bench. “You’re a good team Captain, Velvet. A good Captain knows the team wins together and loses together. A great one can recognise her mistakes, accept them, and grow from the experience.”
The room went silent. The door opened with a swish and Eleanor heard Velvet speak again, her voice subdued, “I’m going to get Teresa.”
This was her chance. Her only chance—she’d apologise to Milla for eavesdropping, and Velvet would never have to know. Eleanor washed her hands in the basin and exited the stall with her head down, speaking immediately, “Milla, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overhear and—”
“I saw your bag.” Milla’s voice was warmer than Eleanor expected, so she glanced up—Milla was stretching, looking unconcerned.
“Does Velvet really think she’s a bad Captain?” Eleanor ventured aloud, before she felt her face get hot and hid it behind her hands. She scooted over to her spot on the bench and made herself busy unzipping her bag. How could she say that, sounding like an awestruck little kid? Now Milla was going to know about her… feelings. They were more than a crush, Eleanor knew. If only she could say something to the person who needed to hear it.
When she finally dared to look in Milla’s direction, Milla was gazing thoughtfully in her direction, expression unreadable. Then she shrugged and said, “You’d have to ask her.”
Eleanor was about to ask what she meant when the door swung open and Anise burst in, dragging Teresa along behind her. “Shut it, brothers later, ringette now! We have to make up for yesterday!” Teresa was pulling her arm away, but couldn’t leave the dressing room as Niko, Rita, and Cheria all followed up behind them.
In the commotion of the rest of the team arriving, Eleanor caught Velvet slipping into the room and quietly begin getting changed. Eleanor watched the way sadness clung to her until she could bear it no longer, and then forced herself to get dressed.
Velvet didn’t step forward to give the pre-game chat she normally did, so instead Sophie tried to lift their spirits, but by then everyone was aware of the mood surrounding Velvet. She was like a pool of despair, swallowing up any positive energy thrown into the room and making the idea of going out onto the ice a bit disturbing. Eleanor felt tired the very moment they started.
Sophie put in her best effort and scored one for them early, but despite Cheria and Colette’s attempts to bolster them off the back of her goal, it wasn’t enough to lift them out of their Captain’s despair.
They lost that game three to one.
game 5
“Why didn’t you shoot?!” Velvet barely waited for the door to swing shut behind their last teammate before rounding on Colette, who ducked in to hide against Sheena’s shoulder.
“Calm down, Velvet.” Sheena wrapped an arm around Colette and didn’t budge, cool and calm.
“We could have tied up!” Velvet insisted, making an aggressive, aggravated motion with her arm. Eleanor watched her hair billow around her; even though she didn’t think Colette deserved to be shouted at, she had to admit she was happy to see the fire back in Velvet’s eyes.
“But I’ve never scored before!” Colette protested; guilt crowded into Eleanor’s thoughts as she identified tears shimmering alongside the sweat on Colette’s face. “I play defense, Velvet, I never would have scored that goal! I’m not good enough!”
“You’ll never know that if you don’t try.”
“When I started playing,” Milla managed to place her voice between them even though she was doing her post-game stretches on the bench, “My coach told me that you miss every shot you never take.”
“If there’s an opportunity, take it.” Edna echoed, while Rita nodded from the corner, fist to her chin.
“The easiest saves ever are the ones where they take a look, size me up, and chicken out.”
Sheena nudged Colette with her shoulder and Colette finally looked up: her face was red but her eyes bright, and she managed to find a smile. “I’m sorry everyone! I’ll try my best next time!”
“We all will.” Niko said, raising her eyebrows hopefully in Velvet’s direction.
Eleanor watched Velvet shake her head slightly, then nod, standing tall. “We’ll win the next one. They won’t take it from us without a fight. We’re going to take them to game seven, and we’re going to win this whole damn thing. Isn’t that right, team?!”
“That’s right!” Eleanor heard herself cheering along with everyone else, and her heart burst like sun over a cloudbreak when Velvet cracked a smile and punched the air with her fist.
“Tell me again! Are we gonna win this thing?!”
Eleanor leapt to her feet alongside Anise and Cheria, shouting and punching their fists in the air. Eleanor found herself caught up in Velvet again while the other were laughing, studying a soft, tiny expression that seemed perfect for Velvet, but so uncommon too. Eleanor imagined running her fingers over Velvet’s lips while they were smiling, imagined how firm and chapped they would feel, and how they might have a salty tang if she were to... And Velvet was looking at her.
Eleanor felt her face burn as she sat down abruptly.
game 6
Somehow, everyone was in harmony again. Milla’s leg was holding up well, they were tied in the second half, and everyone was focused. Eleanor felt giddy, light on her feet and faster than ever, and she was surprised to catch herself up near the enemy blue line right as their defense were jumping off the bench. Other then the goalie, their defensive zone was completely empty.
“Teresa!” Eleanor heard her own voice shout, as she pushed forward. Teresa, who’d just received Milla’s pass away from the opposing team’s bench, caught her gaze and shot the ring towards her—a beautiful pass. Eleanor found herself in the enemy’s zone with only the goalie standing between her and a goal. She hesitated.
She thought of Rita’s words; she thought of Edna’s words. Lastly, loudly, she thought of Velvet’s words: “You’ll never know if you don’t try.”
If she didn’t shoot now, when would she ever dare to take any chances in her life?
But she didn’t know what the best strategy was. She’d done drills, of course, and she participated in the warm up at the beginning of the game where they all took shots at Rita, but she’d never been aiming to score. If she didn’t make it—
“Just shoot, Eleanor!”
It was Velvet’s voice, crashing through her thoughts like a beacon. Eleanor darted to the left, then the right, and just as the opposing team’s defense players skated up behind her, she flung the ring forward as hard as she could.
She thought she closed her eyes, but she found herself watching the ring bounce off the goalpost, into the goalie’s skate, and then straight back into the goal.
“I scored.” Eleanor felt her stick drop from her hands as Milla and Sheena skated up to hug her. Her face already ached from how wide she was grinning. “I actually scored!”
“Nice shot, Eleanor!” Sheena was grinning too, as Niko and Teresa came close as well. Eleanor heard Rita hooting from the other end of the ice, and the wild cheers of her teammates from the bench. She’d just made it two to one—she’d just gotten them to game seven.
When she saw how furiously excited Velvet looked, it felt like they’d already won the whole damn thing.
game 7
Their final game felt a lot like their first: hard, fast, and on point. Rita wrung herself dry blocking shots, but as they came down to the final minutes of play, the score was tied two to two. Teresa had the ring, passing it up to Milla. Edna signalled at Rita, who skated to the bench. Velvet leapt onto the ice, and Eleanor skated after her as she ploughed into the enemy team’s offensive zone.
Niko was checked, and the enemy took hold of the ring. Forty-five seconds left. They tried to pass, but Eleanor checked her and grappled for possession. Thirty seconds left. Eleanor sent a quick pass to Cheria, who passed it quickly to Velvet. Fifteen seconds left. Velvet shouted emphatically as she fired off a wrist shot.
The goalie missed.
The netting in the top corner of the goal caught the ring, and it dropped down to the ice as the buzzer sounded. They’d won. They’d won!
Everyone crashed off the benches and onto the ice, skating into Velvet and forming a giant, cheering mess. As the other women swarmed around her, Eleanor skated up too, watching the expression of incredulity on Velvet’s face gradually give way to pride and pleasure. She was beautiful, Eleanor thought. Velvet was always so beautiful.
Just like that, Eleanor wasn’t frightened anymore. Everyone around them was jubilant and Velvet looked so soft when she was happy—and now, Eleanor knew better than to be afraid of taking chances. As everyone hugged each other or wept or both, Eleanor flung off her helmet and went to Velvet’s side, plucking her sleeve. Velvet had only a moment to look at her in surprise before Eleanor leaned up and kissed her on the mouth.
Velvet was everything Eleanor had dreamed she would be: salty, soft, chapped, and warm. She lingered perhaps a moment longer than she should have, but Velvet hadn’t immediately pulled away and… it was nice.
When Eleanor did withdraw she looked down and twirled a bit of her hair with her finger, feeling flush in the face. When she glanced up at Velvet, she saw Velvet’s face was red too, and Velvet’s voice was low and husky when she spoke, “What was that for?”
“Well,” Eleanor’s voice was higher pitched than it should have been and her face was getting redder, but she kept talking anyway, ignoring how Teresa, Niko, and Milla were looking at her, “A pretty great team Captain I know said that you’ll never know if you don’t try. I don’t want to be someone who misses every shot because she never takes them… so I took one!”
“Kiss her again!” Rita called from the ice, and Eleanor thought she’d never burn brighter.
Velvet met her eye, then seized her round and waist and pulled her close. After she broke their second kiss, she whispered, “Good goal, Eleanor.”