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Connor sighed from where he was lying on Cole’s- his bed, looking up.
Glow-in-the-dark stars littered the ceiling. Not shitty plastic ones, proper ones, expensive ones, ones that came with a chart to help you accurately create a star chart on the ceiling, since the pollution had practically blocked out the night sky.
As soon as Connor had shown an interest in the store, Hank had whipped them off the shelf and purchased them.
Connor had been reluctant to change Cole’s room too much at the start, worried that the Lieutenant would change his mind and ask for the room back. Hank seemed to pick up on this, and, when Connor showed interest in anything for the bedroom, Hank purchased it.
Now the room had changed completely. Blue walls were now a light grey, one wall a darker shade of grey. Cole’s dinosaur bedding had been replaced with simple grey and white sheets, and light plastic furniture had been replaced with dark oak furniture.
There were a few additions to the room, such as a painting of a fish from Markus, the glow-in-the-dark stars, a large blue bean-bag, a framed photo of himself with Hank and Sumo, and a stereo system, to help him explore his new-found appreciation for music.
But now, Connor was bored, and Hank was out walking Sumo.
Now would be a good time to learn more about Hank.
Connor stood and left the room, heading out into the living room. He’d lived there long enough to know basics, but he’d never properly snooped. He found himself pulling open drawers and cupboards, not finding much except some old mail, some bottles of alcohol, old photos, and the occasional newspaper clipping.
He analysed what he found and moved to the kitchen to do the same, only to be met with utensils and cooking equipment. Nothing that could teach him more about Hank.
The next room was Hank’s bedroom.
Usually, he didn’t go in there. It was an invasion of Hank’s privacy, and Hank was a very private person. He turned to leave, only to freeze when he noticed something on Hank’s bedside table. He moved closer to analyse it.
It was a photo of himself and Hank, one that Markus had taken of them. He’d called the two from behind and held up his camera, only for Hank to suddenly grab Connor around the shoulders and stick up his middle finger. Connor smiled and copied Hank.
The result was a photo of the Father/Son duo smirking with their middle fingers up, looking the absolute picture of a Dad and his boy.
Connor smiled to himself, picking up the photo frame. As he did, something slipped from behind the frame and onto the floor. With a frown, Connor put down the photo and knelt down to pick up the fallen object.
It was an envelope. With his name on it.
Connor blinked. Did he open it? Did he pretend he’d never seen it?
Connor found himself tearing open the envelope. He sat himself on Hank’s bed as he unfolded the paper inside and read it.
Dear Connor,
If you found this letter, I’m dead. Fuck, you probably know that already. I don’t know why the fuck I’m writing to you of all people. You’re not even a person, you’re a fucking android, what are you gonna care if I’m dead?
The world’s a fucking mess, Connor. I can’t fucking stand by and watch it fuck itself up anymore. Fuck knows I tried, but everybody dies eventually, and I’m tired of waiting.
I’m gonna see my boy. I’d say I hope you accomplish your mission but I don’t. I think you’re fucking stupid. You can’t see that the deviants just want to be free. But then again, you’re just a hunk of plastic designed to kill them.
Another reason the world is a fucking mess. Androids like you with missions like that.
Fuck you, and fuck everyone else. - Stick that on my tombstone.
Hank.
Connor’s LED flashed red as he stared at the letter in disbelief, rereading it several time over until the front door tore him from his thoughts.
“Connor, we’re home!”
“Coming.” Connor tried to call, but his voice came out all quiet and cracked. He blinked back tears as he stood and left the room, only to walk straight into Hank.
“The fuck you doin’ in my room?” He asked. Connor glared at him, the letter in his hands. Hank looked down at said letter and connected it with Connor’s red LED. “Shit.”
“Sit down.”
“Connor-”
“Sit the fuck down, Hank!” Connor snapped. Hank blinked in surprise, but said nothing, just sat on the couch, preparing for the wrath of his android Son. Connor paced in front of him for a moment before finally deciding what to say.
“Fuck you, Hank!”
“Fuck me?!” Hank scoffed. “Connor-”
“No! I am talking! Not you!” Connor scowled. Hank submitted. “You have been feeling suicidal again and you didn’t even tell me! How am I supposed to look after you if you won’t share things with me?!”
“Connor, stop a minut-”
“Shut the fuck up!” Connor cried, tears now falling freely down his face. “Do you have any idea what your death would do to me?! Do you even care? No, you don’t! Because I’m just a hunk of plastic and programming! I’m not even a person!”
“Connor!”
“And then you continue to say that I am one of the reasons you killed yourself! If you feel that way, just fucking tell me to leave! I didn’t ask to stay! You made me! I didn’t want to burden you but you made me feel safe and loved and it was all a fucking joke to you! Am I even your fucking ‘Son’? Was that a lie too?”
“Fuck you, Connor!” Hank spat, standing and snatching the letter from the android. “I wrote that before you became fucking deviant, you twat!”
“You… what?” Connor’s LED switched to yellow.
“I wrote that because I was fucking going to kill myself, but I got drunk instead and passed out. You found me, looked after me, you even befriended Sumo. You weren’t programmed to care yet somehow you fucking did, and the more time I spent with you, the more I realized that maybe I’d been too quick to judge.” He handed the letter back to Connor to reread.
“I kept the fucking letter just in case, in case you were putting on an act or something for your stupid-ass mission. But you didn’t. Then you deviated, freed the androids, you practically led a fucking revolution, and I was so fucking proud. I knew there and then that I needed you to stay here. You made the world less shit and kept me alive to see it happen.”
“I shoved the letter somewhere a few days ago, I forgot where I put it, but that was all before I knew you, Connor… I would never fucking lie to you about you being my Son, Connor, I’m not an asshole.”
“You… I-I’m sorry…” Connor choked, dropping the letter as he buried his face in his hands and sobbed. Hank sighed.
“Come here, Son…” Hank whispered, moving forward and wrapping his arms around Connor, who returned the embrace, sniffing as he tried to calm himself down. Hank picked the letter up off the floor and ripped it into shreds. “I haven’t thought about killing myself in weeks, Connor. That’s a fucking miracle for me, and it’s because of you.”
“I’m sorry for yelling at you…” Connor whispered. Hank chuckled.
“Perhaps I should stop swearing in front of you, huh? You’re a proper Hank Anderson when you’re pissed off.”
“Speaking loudly and cursing is the quickest way to gain and keep attention. That is why you speak the way you do.”
“Nah, I just speak like that to drive people away.”
“Well, you fucked up.” Connor smiled softly at the reference he’d just made. Hank only held him tighter.
“I’m a bad influence on you, Connor.” Hank chuckled. “A few weeks with me and you’ve already been arrested and picked up the Dictionary of Curse Words.”
“I wasn’t going to snoop around your room.” Connor confessed, pulling away. “But I saw the photo and I couldn’t help but look at it. I wasn’t aware you kept a photo of me.”
“Of course I fucking do!” Hank chuckled. Connor smiled. “I got photos of both my kids.”
“I’m sorry for getting angry.”
“Nonsense, Connor.” Hank ruffled Connor’s hair. “You’re allowed to say what’s on your mind.”
“Can I speak my mind now?” Connor asked.
“Sure, Kid.”
“I love you.” Connor looked away, fearing Hank’s reaction. Hank just laughed.
“I love you too, Son.” Connor looked up in surprise. “Thought you knew that by now.”
“I-I did not.” Connor whispered. “But I do now. Thank you, Hank.”
“Fucking androids.” Hank smiled fondly, throwing the torn up letter in the bin.