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Tana is used to many things. Her best friend being a country away, her brother being a perfectionist sometimes-jerk, and Marisa being herself. And well, a few other things, like Syrene being a wonderful friend and responsible mentor, and Vanessa being driven but deeply emotional behind that, and Father Moulder being kind and doting. But mostly she just wants to think about how she’s used to Marisa, and that it’s kind of nice! She really likes it. It’s one of her favorite things, to be used to a person.
She thinks...she thinks that might be the best way of loving someone. Being used to them.
Or, well. Anyway, that’s what she thinks.
Marisa, in all her her-ness, is. Well, she’s Marisa. She’s got that goal of hers, doesn’t she? And she works really hard, and she makes time for Tana, and Tana is always glad of it. She loves a lot of things, but very few things as much as she loves being with Marisa. Being friends with Marisa is one of the best choices she’s ever made!
Sure, she’d been intimidated at first, but it had been worth it. It really had. Because being friends with Marisa meant she got to be the very first person to do things with Marisa, for a lot of things. Like her first picnic, where everything had been ruined by a surprise rainstorm, there and gone just long enough to soak all the food, and the blanket, and their clothes, their hair. Looking like soaked cats, Tana had laughed and laughed, and Marisa had slowly warmed up to it, until she’d laughed too!
Marisa’s laughs were like emeralds, to Tana. Rare and beautiful and well worth the work it took to find them. A treasure to see, and something she always wanted to remember. Even when she was old and her hair had silvered like her grandmother’s, Tana hoped that she would always remember how Marisa laughed.
And, then there had been the time that Tana had taken Marisa to see an orchestra. She’d hoped to see wonder, or just Marisa enjoying herself, but instead they’d both been awkward, Tana trying to enjoy the music and the company, not just on her own but through Marisa’s enjoyment also, but Marisa hadn’t really understood the appeal.
“The music I like…” Marisa had explained, as they left the hall, Tana holding fondly onto Marisa’s hand. “Is more…” Her face had run through about five different expressions, as she’d tried to find the right words. Another thing Tana loved about Marisa, just the way she thought before she spoke, even if what she decided to say wasn’t a wonder, even if it was awkward. It was...it was Marisa! And she loved it.
“It’s like what Tethys dances to.” Marisa finished. And Tana understood, so she never took Marisa back to see another orchestra. Instead she shook down her fellow pegasus knights until she found a couple of bars near the outside of the capitol that had local, aspiring musicians play, once every few weeks. It was worth the effort, worth the wait, because Marisa had smiled, and her foot tapped the floor every so often in beat to lively, rough-edged, and Tana had had a really good time. And that was compounded by Marisa’s ease, and Marisa’s smile. Every happy gesture, even down to the smallest squint of her eyes, made Tana’s heart soar.
“Do we want to come back?” Tana had asked, holding onto Marisa’s arm with her whole body, leaning into her excitedly. “That was so different to what I’m used to, but I really enjoyed it, did you enjoy it?” Marisa had leaned back just enough so that they weren’t overly balanced towards one side or the other, and she’d hummed, thinking.
“I enjoyed it.” She declared softly, and Tana had grinned and grinned. Another pause, and it’s not awkward because Tana is used to Marisa and the pauses are just part of Marisa’s wondrous her, and Marisa follows up, “I wouldn’t mind if we did this again.”
So Tana made it a point to go back a couple times a month with Marisa. Any more than that, and Marisa got itchy about missing practice and duels, due to their other excursions. Because Tana loved being with Marisa, and was so happy when Marisa gave up some of her time to be with Tana. It was just, it was one of her favorite things.
It was hm. It was definitely a crush, Tana decided. Marisa was just, she was so. Tana sighed. She really loved being used to Marisa, knowing how she was, and loving how she was. Who she was. It was nice, it was overwhelming at times, it was something she wished she could talk to Eirika about. Nothing made missing your best friend more painful than wishing so badly to talk to them about something that meant a lot to you, Tana decided.
So, without Eirika to talk to, Tana tracked down Syrene.
“So, what do I do?” She asked, sitting on the countertop of the kitchen attached to the officer’s quarters. “I mean, I like her a lot, and I want to be her girlfriend, but how should I ask her?”
Syrene, knuckles deep in the making of a pie, hummed thoughtfully. “You know her the best, Tana.” Wrinkled her nose when flour dusted up and made her want to sneeze. “If she’s at ease, and you’re at ease, wouldn’t that be a good time to ask her?”
“Is it that easy though?” Tana said, pursing her lips.
“I don’t see why not,” Syrene finished. “Now shoo, I need that countertop for the bowl.”
Tana thought about that, and thought about that, and then decided she was no good at thinking and went back to planning things to make Marisa smile. She’d know her moment when she saw it, Tana decided. And then she’d seize it, and then she and Marisa would kiss, and then they’d be girlfriends, just like a story. But there were just so many things she wanted to share with Marisa, and it was so hard to choose just one.
“Do you want to pick?” Tana finally asked, as she had her feet submerged into a pond in one of the gardens in the capitol. “There’s just so much we could do, together.” She kicked up water, and watched the splash spray out deeper into the pond, and then the ripples sway the pond plants. “And I’m always picking, so maybe you could pick something you liked?”
Marisa paused, as she always did, hands at her hips like she might rest them on sword hilts. “I like,” she said slowly, “being with you.”
The smile that Tana turned on Marisa was the biggest she had possibly ever smiled. “Do you?!” And she got so her feet so fast that the hem of her skirt grew dark with water. She reached for Marisa’s hands, and Marisa gave them. “Would you be my girlfriend then?” And she waited, because Marisa was going to pause before speaking.
“Aa,” Marisa hummed. “Yes.”
“YES!” Tana exclaimed, jumping up and down, still holding Marisa’s hands. “Let’s go find something to do, Marisa!” And tugged her by the hand back into the castle.