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Haseul skips through the hallways, humming a song and looking for a familiar person in one of the classrooms. It was odd how she was looking all happy and giggly, usually people would see her with her stoic expression and cold stares but not today. As soon as she found the person she was looking for, she enters the classroom and grins. "Hey, Jungeun, guess what?" She whispers on the blonde's ear.
Jungeun opens her eyes and groans, "Oh man, I was just about to sleep. What do you want?" She asks. She was dead tired from all the earful of scolding she took from her professor. She didn't even deserve it, she was just looking at a photo of her best friend! "I said guess." Haseul said and sat down on the seat in front of Jungeun's desk. The blonde groans again, "Just spill it." She said, rubbing her eyes. Haseul chuckled and pulled out a blue envelope from her bag. Jungeun's eyes widened, "Is that another letter from the fish dude?" She asked, quickly snatching the envelope from Haseul.
Haseul looks at her in disbelief, "You don't even know if it's a dude! And I wanna read it." She said, trying to grab the envelope from Jungeun. The blonde only giggles and turns her back to Haseul. "Whoever they are, they're really sweet. I like what they say in here." Jungeun says, carefully reading through the letter. Haseul giggles and leans close to Jungeun's ear, "What if it's one of our friends?" She teased. Jungeun shivered at the thought, she really can't imagine any of her friends having this massive crush on her. It's impossible!
"No, Haseul. That's ridiculous." Jungeun says, chuckling. Haseul leans even closer, "What if it's Jinsoul?" She teases again. Jungeun blushed. It's not that she has feelings for Jinsoul, that's also ridiculous, but the thought of her bestest friend having a this big of a crush on her does make her heart flutter a little. Even though everyone knows that Jinsoul hates Jungeun's guts to no end. "That's... impossible, Haseul." Jungeun said and carefully slipped the envelope inside her bag. Haseul smiles and takes Jungeun's hand, "Let's go find her then." She said and dragged Jungeun out of the classroom.
They were receiving weird looks but it was normal for them. Eveybody thinks that they're dating but actually, Haseul has a girlfriend in college and Jungeun? She's not interested in anybody at all. Sure she had actual feelings for Haseul one time but that really was a one time thing because Haseul has a girlfriend, and a beautiful one too! Jungeun would hate to ruin their relationship AND her friendship with Haseul so she backed off. Thankfully she wasn't that attached.
"Look, she's right there." Haseul whispers. Jinsoul was leaning her back against Jungeun's locker, typing down on her phone with a smile on her face. Jungeun chuckles, "She's probably texting her boyfriend." She whispered. Haseul scoffs and looks at her, bewildered. "What? Do you not know that guy in senior year that's been following her around? I think they're finally dating!" Jungeun said with a confident look. She was so wrong. "Jungeun, Jinsoul is not straight." Haseul said and approached Jinsoul, leaving Jungeun dumbfounded.
One of the reasons why Jungeun never thought that Jinsoul would have a crush on her is because Jinsoul always looked like... she wasn't interested in girls at all. And even if she was, she wouldn't be interested in Jungeun. Another one of those reasons is Jinsoul literally hates Jungeun even though they are best friends. It all started when Jungeun pushed Jinsoul down at the pool when they were 7 years old.
"Jindollie~" Haseul cooed and hugged Jinsoul by the waist. Jinsoul hugs back and spins Haseul around while Jungeun opens her locker, totally ignoring the dorks behind her. Jungeun found a blue paper bag inside her locker and she blushed, "Uh guys...?" She grabs the bag and turns to her friends who have stopped spinning. "Oh my gosh! That person is totally into you!" Haseul squealed and snatched the bag from Jungeun.
Jinsoul chuckled, "The guy's been crushing on you since the first year. How come you still don't know who he is?" She asked, crossing her arms. She knew Jungeun was dense but she didn't know that the younger blonde was stupid. "Sorry, I'm dumb." Jungeun says, scratching her head. Jinsoul stares at her, "Do you at least have an idea who this person is? Do you like them?" She asked. Jungeun stares back at her and that just tugged on Jinsoul's heartstrings. "Soul, I don't even know who they are and even if I do, I don't think I'll be interested. I'm gonna focus on my studies." Jungeun said, putting the paper bag back inside her locker without even looking at what's inside. Jinsoul swallows the flower petals to prevent them from coming out. "But... I still do appreciate their letters and such." Jungeun continued and walked away.
After she disappeared from their sight, Haseul hugs Jinsoul, "It'll be okay." She whispered. Jinsoul covered her mouth and pushed Haseul away, running to the nearest washroom. Haseul grabs her bag and runs after Jinsoul. The blonde didn't even close the stall door as she just kneeled down on the ground and coughed out all the flowers that were stuck in her throat.
Yes, Jinsoul has that life-threatening disease called Hanahaki and yes, Jungeun is the reason why Jinsoul is suffering. Oh, and Jinsoul has been the one giving Jungeun those letters and gifts in hopes of finally breaking through the walls around Jungeun's heart. It's obvious that it's not working but Jinsoul still tries and as she continues, the flowers in her lungs just get worser. Haseul told her to just get the surgery but Jinsoul refused. She still wants to try, even if it kills her in the end.
"I've... I've tried everything, Haseul." Jinsoul says weakly, leaning against the wall. Haseul closed the door and sat down beside Jinsoul, patting her back. "I know... And you should stop. It's killing you. I don't want to lose a great friend like you, so just... stop." Haseul begs, tears forming in her eyes. She always hated to see Jinsoul suffer like this and the fact that she can't do anything about it because of Jinsoul's stubborness makes her heart break even more. "I'm sorry... But I can't." Jinsoul said and looked at the red-colored flower petals in the toilet. "Are those red tinted roses or blood tinted roses?" Haseul asked. Jinsoul doesn't know either.
"Jungeun's favorite color is red so it must be that... Or yeah, it could be my blood too." Jinsoul said and tried to stand up but ended up falling back down. "Let's sit here for a while, okay?" Haseul asked. Jinsoul nodded and leaned her head on Haseul's shoulder. She feels Haseul wraps her arms around her and she feels relieved, for once.
She has been crushing on Jungeun since first year of high school, like she mentioned earlier, and that means that she's had the disease since 3 years ago because they're on their last year of high school right now. Haseul was surprised that Jinsoul lasted this long but then again, Jinsoul's body can fight anything so she's also not surprised. But... Jinsoul's condition only got worse as years passed by and Haseul is afraid that the blonde might actually die from this. And what's also making her sad is that she can't do anything to stop it, nothing at all. She has convinced Jinsoul to get the surgery countless times but the girl only walks away with an apolotgetic smile and continues to try and make Jungeun fall for her. They both can't believe that Jungeun doesn't know yet when her first kiss was literally Jinsoul in second year! It's either that Jungeun is just plain stupid or... she's pretending not to know.
Everybody knows the truth, Jungeun is dumb. And she's really honest so if she knew Jinsoul had feelings for her then she would've said something about it. But of course, Jungeun doesn't know anything no matter how much Jinsoul implies it. It's tiring but Jinsoul will never ever give up. Even if it costs her life, she will never lose hope. She will break down the walls of Jungeun's heart and make sure that the younger one's heart beats for her.
Meanwhile, Jungeun was running to the back of the school to get some fresh air. For a second, she almost jumped into conclusions back there. She almost thought that it was really Jinsoul that's been giving her those sweet love letters. But no, it's impossible. Jinsoul hates her guts. "Hey, uh, miss!" A fellow student catches up to Jungeun and grabs her arm. Jungeun turns around and was completely awestruck. The girl that was holding her from running again was so... stunning. She was so pretty, it's almost surreal. Jungeun heard her heart beat through her ear as she continues to stare at the taller girl.
"You... dropped this." The girl said, handing Jungeun a red wallet. It was given by Jinsoul on her 16th birthday and it was so pretty that Jungeun swore to never change her wallet ever again. It made Jinsoul smile. "Thank you..." Jungeun paused and looked at the girl's nametag, "Sooyoung." She continued, flashing the taller girl a sweet smile. Sooyoung blushed and nods before letting go of Jungeun's arm. For some reason, Jungeun didn't want to leave so both of them just stood here awkwardly. It happened for a few minutes until Sooyoung finally decided to speak up. "Why were you in such a rush...? If you don't mind me asking." Sooyoung said, scratching the back of her neck. She was so shy that her fingers kept fidgeting and she couldn't stay still.
The Kim Jungeun was right in front of her! She's everybody crush! And 'everybody' includes the campus queen Ha Sooyoung! "Oh... I was running away from... my friends! You know, playing tag like the good old days." Jungeun lied, awkwardly laughing after. Sooyoung smiles and that made Jungeun's heart beat loud again, "That's cute." She said. And then Jungeun's heart was out of control. Her cheeks were warming up and she looks down on the ground, trying to hide her face. "Jungeun, do you mind if I... escort you back to your class?" Sooyoung asked, leaning down to make eye contact with Jungeun.
Oh, Jungeun and her poor heart. This girl she met not even an hour ago is playing with her feelings! She has never felt this way about anyone before, not even with Haseul. Maybe she was in love? "Of course, I'd like company right now." Jungeun said and they start walking, away from where Jungeun's next class is supposed to be at. They talked about normal things and they actually got to know each other very well.
As they make their way across the school grounds, Haseul looks out from the window of the hallways with her mouth open. She just helped the weak Jinsoul go to her class and now she's seeing the two most popular girls in the campus hang out. "And they're smiling?!" Haseul yelled, she was pulling her heair and she was receiving weird looks from the other students. Sooyoung and Jungeun not only looked happy but they looked... very in love. Haseul almost teared up because she thought of Jinsoul.
"I can't... I can't let her see this..." Haseul mumbled under her breath and ran to her locker. She pulled out her bag and grabbed her phone from the inside. "Kahei, honey, I need... to take a fucking breather." Haseul said into the phone as she slowly closes her locker. She had a long conversation with her girlfriend; talking about Jinsoul and her disease, Sooyoung and Jungeun dangerously becoming close, and Jinsoul being really close friends with Sooyoung.
Yeah that's right. Jung Jinsoul is another one of the popular ones and she's the closest with Sooyoung. They had a fair share of secrets but Jinsoul never told Sooyoung that she was in love with Jungeun, for obvious reasons. And Jinsoul didn't tell Sooyoung about the Hanahaki disease she had either. She didn't need more people to convince her to get the surgery. "We'll figure everything out, okay? Now calm down." Kahei said from the other line. Haseul exhales and leans her back on her locker, "Thanks." She said. Kahei giggles, "I'm coming over Jinsoul's place after I'm finished with my part-time job! I'll see you guys there. Bye! I love you, Haseul." Kahei says and laughs shyly. Haseul blushed, "I love you too." She said and with that, Kahei hung up.
Haseul bit her lower lip and squealed, jumping up and down like a kid. "Well, aren't you two sweet." Jungeun says from behind Haseul. The older girl almost screamed and she slowly turns around. "Since when did you-- Oh, hi Sooyoung." Haseul said, waving at the tall girl who only smiles at her. "I was going to ask you where Jinsoul is." Jungeun said. Haseul couldn't keep her eyes off of the both of them and she had a weird feelings about these two suddenly being friends. Maybe she's just jumping to conclusions.
"She's in her class. Why?" Haseul asked. Jungeun paused and then she turns around, "Nothing. Thanks." She said and walked away. Sooyoung slowly turns around and as she was about to walk, Haseul grabs her wrist, "I'm keeping you for a few minutes, Miss Ha." She said with her stone cold stare. It really made Sooyoung shiver. "What's up, Haseul? We haven't been catching up on each other huh?" The tall girl asked, her eyes wandering around the place in order to avoid Haseul's stare. Haseul sighs, "Yeah, last time I heard you talk to me was months ago on Kahei's birthday party." She said. Sooyoung laughs awkwardly, "I've been busy." She said.
It was silent for a second until Haseul takes a deep breath, "How's your Hanahaki?" She asked. Sooyoung froze and touched the center of her chest. "It's... clear now. I don't know how but... the flowers are gone." Sooyoung said and blushed before looking directly at Haseul's eyes. "It can't be..." Sooyoung mumbles under her breath. It was everything Haseul was afraid of. Jungeun falling in love with someone that's not Jinsoul. And even worse, it's one of Jinsoul's closest friends!! "I'm... I'm happy for you." Haseul says and tries her best to give Sooyoung a genuine smile.
As much as she hates it, she has to support them because no one has ever made Jungeun feel things like love and Sooyoung was another one of the unfortunate victims of the Hanahaki disease. Sooyoung is a wonderful girl, she's perfect for Jungeun but... so is Jinsoul. Destiny isn't something a person gets to decide so Haseul accepts it. "I... I gotta go." Sooyoung said and ran where Jungeun had walked earlier.
Jinsoul feels a sharp pain in her chest and she tries her best to hold the flowers in her throat. She begged the universe to help her get through this painful journey but... luck is never on her side. She coughs out a few petals and she immediately shoves them in her pocket and wipes her mouth clean with the tissues Haseul gave her earlier. "Hey, tell professor that I had to get home early okay? I'm... kinda sick." Jinsoul tells one of her classmates and walks out of the classroom.
She grabbed her stuff from her locker and headed to Jungeun's, slipping another blue envelope inside before making her way out of the building. Before she could get out of the campus, a familiar voice called out to her. A voice... she wanted to hear so bad. "Where are you going? Your next class is just about to start." Jungeun says, trying to catch her breath. "Damn, you walk fast..." Jungeun mumbles between breaths. Jinsoul chuckled, "I'm going home." She said. Jungeun looks at her, confused, "Why? Are you sick or something?" She asked, touching Jinsoul's forehead. The older girl swallowed down the petals and gently pushes away Jungeun's hand.
"No... Something urgent just happened at home so I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow." Jinsoul said, patting Jungeun's head and walking out of the gates of the school, leaving Jungeun confused and worried. "Get well soon... You have a fever, Jung Jinsoul." Jungeun mumbles under her breath. She stands there, worried about Jinsoul because her temperature up on the roof! "Hey... Jungeun!" Sooyoung yelled. Jungeun turns around, "Hi." She said. Sooyoung smiled and stood up properly.
"I know we just met literally minutes ago but... I have something to tell you. Something... I've been holding back." Sooyoung said. Jungeun's heartbeat accelerates again as the tall girl holds her hands. "I have feelings for you." Sooyoung said. Jungeun dazed out for a couple of seconds, trying to process everything. Countless people have admitted their feelings for Jungeun but the girl always rejected them. Nobody has ever captivated Jungeun like Sooyoung did so... will she just let this pass? She doesn't even know her own feelings but she knows she likes Sooyoung as something else. So Jungeun squeezes Sooyoung's hands and pulls her close, "I... I have no idea how I really feel for you but it's not normal. It's not like I'm rejecting you or anything thoguh. I do like you as well but... I'm still trying to figure myself out." Jungeun said.
Sooyoung swallows hard and waits for Jungeun to continue. "If you ask me to be your girlfriend then maybe I'll say someting else." Jungeun smirked. Sooyoung bit her lower lip, "Kim Jungeun, will you be my girlfriend?" She asked, leaning closer. Jungeun smiles, "Yes." She whispered and pecked Sooyoung's lips. "Let's see where this goes." Jungeun says and wraps her arms around Sooyoung neck and kissed her.
From outside the gate, Jinsoul watched them with a torn-up heart. She was going to ask Jungeun for something but then she saw them talking so she thought of waiting for them to finish but then... Sooyoung held Jungeun's hand and everything hits Jinsoul. The blonde sighed and walked away from the scene before her tears could fall. She couldn't watch anymore of it. The flowers were building up and she coughs violently. She stops walking and leans on the brick wall. Her hand was filled with flower petals, blood, and... tears. After realizing that she was crying, she couldn't stop. She hid inside an alley and cried her heart out.
She felt like she was in that alley for days. She felt like she was crying for weeks and she always felt as though she was hurting for eternity. "Jinsoul?! Oh my god, what are you doing here?!" Another familiar voice was heard inside the alley. It was Kahei. She was going to the market to buy some snacks until she heard sobs coming from the alley. She goes in and never expected her good friend to be the one crying. "You're covered in flowers and blood... Let's clean you up." Kahei said and wiped away Jinsoul's tears with her thumbs. Jinsoul feels a little better with her friend comforting her like this.
"I'm... sorry." Jinsoul said. Kahei could barely hear her. They are now walking to Jinsoul's house which was not that far away from here. "It's okay. I'll always be here for you. Haseul too." Kahei said and took the flower petal that was stuck on Jinsoul's collarbone. Kahei gave Jinsoul her jacket to cover up her uniform which was really bloody and now Jinsoul looks a lot better except that her eyes are really red from crying. "What happened?" Kahei asked, holding Jinsoul's hand to put her at ease.
Jinsoul's lips started to shake and she presses them together before sighing, "Sooyoung likes Jungeun and... it seems like Jungeun likes her too because I literally just saw them become officially right in front of my eyes." Jinsoul said. Kahei's eyes widened out of surprise. "Sooyoung and Jungeun? But Jungeun doesn't even know who the heck Sooyoung is!" Kahei yells. Jinsoul looks down at the ground, "I guess we were wrong." She said. She felt like coughing but she holds it back this time. She just got cleaned up, it would be embarrassing to dirty herself again.
It was silent after that and they just kept walking to Jinsoul's place. It took them longer than usual because Jinsoul was... getting weaker and weaker every second. Kahei almost dragged her. "Your family is not home yet." Kahei mumbled and helped Jinsoul lay down on the couch. "I'll get you some change of clothes, stay there." Kahei said and ran up to Jinsoul's room. Of course being the stubborn girl she is, Jinsoul did not stay where she was and sat up. Before she could do anything, her whole body froze up and she coughed out a whole rose. It was red. Jinsoul still doesn't know if it was the color red or if it was blood.
"Jinsoul! I told you to stay down!" Kahei says as she hurries back down to the living room. She gasped when she saw Jinsoul holding a rose. "It's beautiful but... it's painful to look at." Jinsoul said and placed the rose on top of the coffee table. Kahei immediately pulls out her phone and texts Haseul about what just happened. Jinsoul changed her clothes with Kahei's help and after that, she lays down on the couch again. Haseul then kicks the door open and rushed inside. "Jinsoul!" Haseul yells and throws herself in Jinsoul's arms. Kahei joins the hug and kissed Haseul's forehead, "She coughed out a whole rose and I'm getting worried. Isn't it a sign?" Kahei asked, holding Haseul's shoulders and shaking her back and forth. Jinsoul chuckled, "I'm fine." She said and looked at Haseul with a reassuring smile.
Haseul sighed and sits down on the chair beside the couch. "Jinsoul..." Haseul started and bit her lip. She opened her mouth to continue but she was cut off when Jinsoul violently coughs again. First it was petals but then it became whole roses. Kahei was crying and Haseul was trying her best. "Please... Let's go to the hospital and get this over with." Haseul said, holding Jinsoul's hand tight. "We don't want to see you like this, Jinsoul." Kahei sobbed and hugged the girl close.
Jinsoul was scared to get treated because she would forget about Jungeun. She couldn't handle the thought of forgetting the girl who changed her whole life. But she knew that it was better to be that way. Or she could just die. She was scared to die too because that means never seeing Jungeun again and never ever feeling her friends' warmth. So she contemplates about it until she coughs out another rose. She stares at it and sighs, "Fine... I'll go to the hospital..." She said. Before she could say anything else, her vision darkens and she passed out in her friends' arms.
Haseul and Kahei sit on the waiting room, listening to the clock as it ticks. They called Jinsoul's family and they were happy to hear that Jinsoul was finally getting the surgery but they were scared. Jinsoul blacked out before she was sent to the hospital. It could either mean she's just tired from the pain or... she's dead.
Jungeun and Sooyoung rush toward Haseul and Kahei who were in a daze. "Haseul! Fuck, what happened?!" Jungeun yelled, snapping Haseul out of her trance. Haseul looks at Kahei and the pink haired girl groans, "She deserved to know. Jinsoul is her best friend." Kahei whispered. Haseul sighed and faced Jungeun, "Jinsoul is sent here for a special reason." She starts. Jungeun clenched her fists and grabbed Haseul's collar, "Stop fucking around. Why is my best friend in the emergency room?!" The blonde yells. Kahei pulls Haseul away from Jungeun, she got mad as well so she decided to speak. "You know, she wouldn't be here if it weren't for you, your stupidity, and your ignorance of how she felt." Kahei said, stepping forward. "Kahei." Haseul grabs her girlfriend's wrist but the girl only pushed her away.
"Those letters, those gifts, and everything were from Jinsoul. Did you ever wonder why they were blue? Because blue was Jinsoul's favorite color. You should know that, you're her best friend. You should've recognized Jinsoul's messy handwriting but beautiful words. You're her best friend for fuck's sake!" Kahei yelled. Jungeun couldn't say anything after that, she literally had no words to say. She couldn't think about anything but Jinsoul. She finally realized why those words were so familiar to her. Like someone had said the same thing to her in person. She never thought that it was... Jinsoul.
Sooyoung finally got the answer to her questions. Jinsoul never told her who she liked but she did tell Sooyoung that she sends love letters to her crush. For a long time, Sooyoung wondered who it was and Jinsoul gave her another hint; "I love her very much." was the biggest hint she could give to Sooyoung. Jungeun is Jinsoul's best friend and it's very common for someone to love their best friend but Jinsoul liking Jungeun just never came to Sooyoung's head. "I'm... so sorry." Sooyoung said, biting her lower lip. The four of them just sat down on the chairs and hoped for the best.
Jungeun felt her whole world falling apart as time passed by. It was early in the morning before they realized it. They felt like they haven't slept in days but the doctor giving them Jinsoul's condition woke them up.
"She made it through. She really was on the brink of death but... she's really strong. Her disease is gone now and she's okay. You can visit her." The doctor said and walked away with a smile. Haseul wipes her tears away, "That's our Jinsoul. She never let anything beat her. Not even death." Haseul said with a laugh as they enter Jinsoul's room.
Jinsoul was sitting on the bed, looking down at the blanket with an expression nobody could read. Jungeun swallowed hard and Sooyoung holds her hand to support her. Kahei rushed to Jinsoul and looked at her, "Jinsoul..." She said and smiled at the younger girl. Jinsoul stares at her and slowly smiles back, "Kahei." She said. She looks up at the others, "Haseul. And... Sooyoung." She names the two and then she looks at Jungeun. The younger blonde steps forward, anticipating whatever Jinsoul says next. "I... I don't... Who... are you?" Jinsoul asked and that just broke everybody's heart but mostly Jungeun.
They have been friends their whole life and Jinsoul forgetting that Jungeun has been with her since the beginning of time is just... a lot to handle. Jungeun couldn't help but cry. "Jinsoul, my name..." Jungeun couldn't speak, she was crying too much. Jinsoul tilts her head a little and then Jungeun hugs her tight and cries on her shoulder.
This warmth... It feels familiar... But I can't remember anything... I don't feel anything... Who is she? She's really familiar but I can't remember anything... Could it be...
"Jungeun?"
Forgetting someone who made you remember some many things is very hard. Especially when that someone is the person you loved with all your heart.