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“Diana,” Akko said with the voice of someone coaxing a grumpy cat, fixing her with her sweetest smile.
“No,” Diana said flatly, simply turning the page in her book.
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say!”
“I do. The answer is no.”
Akko sighed long and woeful, lifting up her camera from where it had been hanging out of sight. “Pleeeeeeeease I have no footage from today! Let me film you.” She moved from behind the settee to stand directly in front of it, levelling her girlfriend with a full pout. “I’m desperate here.”
“Go and film something else,” Diana responded, still in the same disinterested tone of voice.
“That’s not gonna hack it. I have NOTHING to show for my day, not even a shot of lunch because I ate it too fast. You know how much my audience loves you, just one minute of footage, I promise-”
“Four million people will not be subjected to me in my dressing gown after a twelve hour shift.”
“You’re stupidly attractive even now,” Akko complained, motioning to her curled up on the sofa, hair loose and wavy… with bunny slippers. “Look, there’s a reason these day-in-the-life vlogs get so much attention, and that’s because people are dying to see you. Or just want to be nosy about our relationship. It makes them happy. Give me a thumbnail picture at least!”
“I hate your career,” Diana griped, putting down her book after it was clear she wouldn’t be allowed to read in peace.
Akko fist-pumped the air. “You’re the best, you know that right? Besides, I only do these types of videos once a week. I could be one of those people who uploads their life every single day. At least I have main videos and this is just bonus material for those who find my odd life positively riveting.”
“You’re talking me out of it.”
“Fine, fine.”
Akko turned the camera to herself and greeted. “Hi guys! Not gonna lie, it’s eight o’ clock at night and I haven’t filmed a thing all day. It’s been a sit-at-the-desk and answer dozens of emails kinda day. And I wanted to cook my girlfriend dinner. Which we’ve eaten… Whoops. But the picture is on my Instagram! So, yeah, I thought I’d treat you all since this is hardly even a vlog. Diana is home at a social hour for once! Kicking ass, saving lives, that’s the Cavendish way. You should have that as a slogan on the hospital!” She beamed, genuinely enthused, and flipped the camera on Diana… who wasn’t there anymore.
“Oh, she’s sneaky,” Akko muttered. “It appears we have a runner, folks.”
For the next ten minutes Akko chattered away about nothing and everything to the camera, moving through all the rooms of their modest flat, wondering where on earth Diana had skittered away to; she was hardly a regular on Akko’s channel despite their relationship (and viewers’ constant pleas for them to interact and do couply things) but she’d never disappeared right from under her nose to avoid a video. And she was meant to be the magician! In the end she ended up pressing the pause button.
“Diana?” she called out. “The camera’s off, I promise. Where on earth are you? This is some next level hide and seek.”
Just as she was peering into a wardrobe, feeling both ridiculous and justified, the front door opened and closed, Diana slipping inside.
A little sheepish, she held up her mobile. “My apologies, an important call came through.”
“You liar!” Akko accused, pointing a finger. “Liar, liar, bunny slippers on fire.”
Diana held up well under Akko’s questioning gaze. Until she didn’t. “It wasn’t the hospital but it was Barbara; we’re finalising the details of our lunch on Saturday. You know I don’t have the time to do these errands at work…”
Oh no, she was pulling the guilt card. She was even staring into her soul with those lovely, sad, blue eyes. Akko sighed and then sighed some more – mostly at herself because she always lost in the face of Diana’s puppy-dog eyes. Her girlfriend had a masterful pout and Akko was stupidly in love with her.
“Finnnnnne.”
“We can watch a TV show instead?” Diana bargained, already heading back into the living room.
Akko couldn’t resist that, could she? Both of their schedules were so hectic in different ways that they hardly had a night in together. She only huffed for a minute or two about her neglected vlog before settling down, fully entwining herself around Diana’s form and sighing contently.
“I’m gonna have half the views this week because of you,” she muttered, breathing in her intoxicating scent.
“I’m sorry,” Diana said, and Akko could feel her smile against her forehead.
It took a total of one hour before Diana fell asleep, looking adorable and bundled up on the settee. And if Akko pulled out her camera, first showing herself grinning and putting a finger to lips, then letting it fall on a sleeping Diana, her girlfriend wouldn’t find out until it was half a day later and the view count was on two and a half million.
Everyone was as obsessed with Diana as she was. It wasn’t her fault!
Such was life with a YouTube celebrity and her surgeon girlfriend.