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Anger, confusion, disbelief.
This was what Zhangjing was feeling as he lay in bed at 1am staring at the ceiling, woken up by clanging and shuffling coming from the communal kitchen. He knew having roommates in a shared flat was part of the university experience, and he’d already had his fair share of annoying moments, but these usually consisted of one of them making out with their girlfriend in the common area, or Xingjie listening to his music too loudly.
What was happening now was a new one, someone appeared to be in the middle of cooking something in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t have been so bad if his room wasn’t right next to the kitchen, or that this guy seemed to be kind of clumsy, or that Zhangjing had an early class tomorrow morning so would prefer to get more sleep than he was currently banking.
He was hungry too, due to the current diet he’d found online and was trying out and Zhangjing could never fall asleep when he was hungry.
So it didn’t help that every time he felt like he was drifting closer to sleep, metal would clink loudly with metal next door and he’d snap awake again. Every time he told himself, “Next time I’ll definitely go confront him,” but by nature he wasn’t very confrontational despite the anger that kept bubbling in his chest with each passing minute that he failed to fall asleep.
The last straw was when a whole bowl clattered to the floor, followed by “Shit!” and at last Zhangjing got to his feet and stormed to the kitchen, trying to look as intimidating as his short stature would allow.
The words almost got caught in his mouth when he saw that the culprit was not only incredibly attractive, but also staring dejectedly at the batter that had fallen on the floor. His soft hair flopped over his forehead and his cheekbones were emphasised by the shadows cast by the overhead light. Even in the artificial yellow illumination it was clear that this guy was stunning, and Zhangjing puzzled for a second why he didn’t notice that fact before when they'd met.
Lin Yanjun and he didn’t talk much, more like ships sailing in the night than roommates, and the few times they had met Zhangjing supposed had been too brief for him to stop and admire him.
Why am I admiring him now, I’m here to yell, he reminded himself and cleared his throat loudly.
Yanjun looked up in surprise to see Zhangjing’s stormy expression, and immediately looked a little guilty.
Zhangjing gave him an incredulous expression, staring pointedly at the mess all around the kitchen, and finally Yanjun said, “Was I being too loud?”
Zhangjing raised his eyebrows. Yanjun’s shoulders slumped. It was at that moment Zhangjing noticed something was up with the boy’s demeaner, which was usually more cocky and confident, but right now his body language was more sad. He suspected it was more than just dropping his bowl of batter that was causing this.
“What are you even doing?” he tried to make his voice softer than he’d originally intended, but still stern enough to let Yanjun know he’d done wrong. Zhangjing found it hard to be confrontational at all, so it was especially hard in front of a cute sad looking boy.
“I was making cookies.”
“At 1am?”
“I really,” his gaze went to the floor again, “Wanted some.”
Something was definitely wrong, Zhangjing noted.
“But I dropped the batter on the floor, so it doesn’t matter anymore.” He bent down and picked the bowl off the floor, thankfully unbroken, and placed on the table, then reached for the kitchen roll.
Zhangjing watched him for a moment, then finally feeling weak for the forlornness of Yanjun’s expression walked over and started to help him wipe it up. Yanjun looked at him in surprise and Zhangjing felt his face heat up under the boy’s intense stare, which felt like it pierced right through his skin. He kept his head bowed as he worked, ignoring the fluttering sensation in his chest, until Yanjun looked away with a tiny smile on his face.
They worked in silence after that in a strange companionship, the kind that only arose at 1am in circumstances such as these.
“So was it just a craving for cookies or is something else up?” Zhangjing asked after it had all been deposited in the bin, finally.
“I just felt like baking,” Yanjun replied simply, his cool guy exterior starting to build up again.
Zhangjing repeated what he’d said 5 minutes earlier. “At 1am?”
Yanjun’s shoulders sagged again, and Zhangjing couldn’t help but softly lay a hand on his shoulder. “Do you want to tell me what’s up?”
Blinking, Yanjun said nothing for a moment but fixed Zhangjing with that stare, intense but not aggressive, and searching this time as though confused as to why someone might care. His mouth opened as if to say something, then snapped shut again, then finally he said, “I was just stressed and couldn’t sleep and then I got frustrated because I couldn’t sleep so I googled coping mechanisms and a lot of people say they stress bake so I tried it out but I ended up messing it up anyway because I can’t even do that right, and then I woke you up and annoyed you and I’m really sorry.” He finished with a slight pout on his face, and a creased forehead as his eyebrows furrowed into an almost scary expression.
But up close Zhangjing could see in his eyes he wasn’t mad, only frustrated.
“It’s okay,” he said, “I’m not annoyed.”
“You were.”
“I’m not now. I’m hungry anyway, let’s continue baking.” He rolled up his pyjama sleeves.
Yanjun didn’t move from his spot, “But I dropped it?”
“Let’s make more. Baking is meant to be de-stressing, didn’t Google say? Let’s destress, I’m craving cookies now.”
He looked around the disorganised mess of the kitchen and started putting things in a more orderly fashion. “Don’t just stand there and help me out, finish what you began Lin Yanjun.”
The warm presence of the other boy appeared behind him and a hand pressed momentarily to his back, a silent thanks that sent sparks through Zhangjing’s veins. Yanjun began putting things in order along side him until all the ingredients and utensils stood smartly on the tiny kitchen table.
They cleaned out the one big bowl and started re-measuring ingredients.
As they worked Zhangjing notice Yanjun’s brow slowly start to relax. He felt relieved, he didn’t know why but he felt the need to cheer up the other boy.
“So do you want to tell me what was making you so stressed?” Zhangjing asked carefully, cautious he was being too nosy but also wanting to put the other boy’s mind at ease, as he felt some comradery to him now as they stood making cookies together at stupid o’clock in the morning.
Yanjun hummed as he sifted flour into the mixture. “It’s not much looking back at it now. It’s just that some of my classes aren’t going that well and so the professor asked me to come after class, but that’s when I have basketball practice which I didn’t want to miss because it’s my favourite part of the week, but then he started yelling at me about being a slacker and stuff... And then I came back to the dorms to try and do my assignment but I couldn’t understand it, then my mom called me and started telling me to get a job and send her back the money like I’m not a struggling college student already and got upset with me when I told her I didn’t have time to get a job-,”
“Yanjun,” Zhangjing said softly, “That’s too much flour.”
He looked down at where he’d started aggressively shaking too much in. His brow immediately re-furrowed and sighed.
Worried and on impulse, Zhangjing suddenly shot his hand up and pressed his thumb to Yanjun’s forehead, swiping it across his brow until the crease lines flattened out.
Yanjun was only staring at him in surprise now, cheeks slightly tinted.
Zhangjing turned away and picked up a spoon. “We can scoop out the excess flour, see. It’s easily fixed.”
The younger boy nodded slowly, and just slightly his mouth upturned, and dimples appeared on both his cheeks.
Resisting the urge to poke them, Zhangjing settled for subtly admiring them. He supposed he hadn’t seen the other boy smile before. He smiled back, he couldn’t help it, and watched the dimples deepen until Yanjun looked away and picked up the mixer.
“So then I hung up on her and went back to my essay, but I still couldn’t do it, so I decided to message the basketball guys to say I have to miss a practice to study and the coach said I couldn’t because we have a game coming up, but I said that I’ve already practiced enough but he was still mad, so then I got mad and started baking, but I’m not really good at it and then I dropped the bowl, and then you came in.” His voice softened into silk at the last part.
“Why have we never spoken before?” Zhangjing asked him. “It’s almost the end of the semester and we’ve barely seen each other. I only know your name because it’s on the door.” Yanjun was entirely nice, it seemed, so why hadn’t they become friends?
“We spoke on the first day,” Yanjun said.
Mind blank, Zhangjing tilted his head. “Did we?”
“You said, Hi I’m You Zhangjing, let’s be good friends, but then Lu Dinghao dragged you away and we didn’t see each other after because I’m busy a lot,” Yanjun said. “I was sad, I wanted to be friends.”
“Let’s be friends now,” Zhangjing said suddenly passionately, then quietened his voice, embarrassed. “I mean if you want.”
Yanjun grinned at him, and Zhangjing had to turn away lest he be blinded. “Should we add chocolate chips,” he almost choked out.
“I don’t have any.”
“I do,” he walked to his assigned cupboard and pulled out the bag, “I always keep emergency chocolate chips. I’ll let you have some just this once.”
“I feel honoured,” Yanjun’s eyes twinkled. Zhangjing poured them in and Yanjun stirred. “Why do you keep emergency chocolate chips?”
“For emergencies.”
Yanjun laughed again and Zhangjing stored the sound in his memory. “So you often come and help sad basketball players failing to make cookies at 1am?”
“It’s my favourite hobby, I hope you didn’t feel special or anything.”
He clasped his hand to his chest. “You’re hurting my heart, bro.”
“Well I can’t have that,” he reached to pull Yanjun’s hand down, trying to ignore the tingling in his feelings as he released it, “I keep chocolate chips because I like snacking on them when I can’t think. That’s all.”
“So I am special,” Yanjun said, sounding pleased.
“You’re special alright, being the kind of person waking up their peacefully sleeping roommates to bake,” Zhangjing said without heat. “We need to shape these.”
“Can we shape them into hearts?” Yanjun leant on the counter on one elbow, and Zhangjing thought he saw him fluttering his eyelashes. He angled closer into Zhangjing’s space, and Zhangjing caught a whiff of his shampoo. It was jasmine scented.
Is he flirting? No, I imagined it, he scolded himself. Though he does wear jasmine scented shampoo, that’s not exactly a straight guy thing.
“Do you have heart shaped cookie cutters?” Zhangjing asked.
“No,” Yanjun said, disappointed. He leant away again, Zhangjing finding himself missing his presence. Then Yanjun’s hand wrapped around Zhangjing’s bicep as he pulled himself even closer. “What shape then?”
He’d done it casually, even friendlily, just linking arms like bros did in kitchens at closer to 2am than 1am now, seeming unaffected as Zhangjing’s heart started beating faster at the close presence of this tall, hot guy. (However, he saw the corner of his mouth twitch and his eyes dilate). God damn it, Lin Yanjun had game.
“Um, by hand we can only really make balls then flatten them into circle shapes.”
Yanjun hummed, his breath blowing at the baby hairs around Zhangjing’s ears and making every hair on his body stand up as something tightened pleasantly in his chest.
This was definitely not straight guy behaviour, Zhangjing decided, he didn’t even need to consult a manual. His gaydar wasn’t so bad that he couldn’t identify close physical contact and basically whispering in someone’s ear as gay shit.
He wondered what they looked like to someone walking in. Heads almost touching, their sides pressed together at almost every point and Yanjun’s hand holding Zhangjing’s arm gently, intimately.
Zhangjing reached for the dough and rolled it into a small ball. “Like this,” he said, trying to make his voice lower. At this stage he didn’t see any reason not to be flirting. He placed it on the baking tray and pressed down on it until it flattened.
Yanjun nodded carefully, then picked up about twice as much as Zhangjing had taken and looked at him innocently. “Like this?”
“Nooo,” Zhangjing chided, reaching into Yanjun’s palm and scooping some out, making sure to trail his fingers slightly across the taller boy’s hand. He put it in the bowl then returned to the batter Yanjun was still holding and started shaping it into a mound on his hand. “Now roll it into a ball using both your hands.”
Although Yanjun was no longer holding his bicep they still stood only centimetres from each other.
“Like this?” Yanjun started haphazardly moving his hands in a way that someone his age would have definitely known not to do.
“Like this,” Zhangjing took the bait and took hold of his hands, “Slower, like this.”
“Ah, slower,” Yanjun nodded as though this were a revelation to him, then just gently bit his lip as he stared in concentration at it.
A weak man at heart, Zhangjing stared at his mouth for a moment too long then swallowed and looked away. He picked up some dough himself and started helping, though Yanjun seemed to keep forgetting how to do, requiring Zhangjing’s assistance regularly.
He wondered how he had gone from being ready to fight this guy to flirting with him outrageously and making cookies with him. Maybe it was the sad expression, the handsome face or the broad shoulders but Zhangjing had been angry for about 15 seconds upon walking into the room, and he was now finding himself in a very comfortable situation.
The cookies, completed, were placed into the pre-heated oven, and the two of them sat leant against he kitchen island watching the oven.
“How long is it?” Yanjun asked.
“Twenty minutes,” Zhangjing replied. Yanjun’s shoulder was pressed to his, and when they were sat down they were about the same height, as opposed to Yanjun being taller when they were stood up. This meant their lips were at the same level, which was doing many distracting things to Zhangjing’s mind.
“I’ve been talking about myself all night,” Yanjun said, “Tell me about you.”
“What do you mean?”
“What’s your favourite colour?”
“Yellow, because it’s cheerful.”
“What’s your favourite food?”
“Ooh, there are so many delicious Malaysian dishes I couldn’t choose,” Zhangjing’s eyes glazed over as he thought about his mother’s cooking.
“Malaysian?”
“I’m Malaysian,” Zhangjing said.
“I didn’t know that, I only noticed your accent was different,” he said. “I’m Taiwanese.”
“I didn’t know that,” Zhangjing repeated. They smiled at each other. Yanjun shuffled closer.
“Tell me something else about you.”
“I like singing, I won a competition for it once,” he admitted.
“Sing for me.”
“I don’t want to disturb our roommates anymore than we already have,” Zhangjing giggled, and Yanjun pouted.
“Fine, but let’s go do karaoke some time and sing for me then.”
“It’s a deal,” Zhangjing held up his pinky finger, and Yanjun locked his around it. They held them together probably longer than was necessary before letting go.
Maybe it was the fact it was past 2, or that he felt comfortable and warm in the presence of the other boy, or the absence of clanging, but drowsiness was starting to take over Zhangjing.
Next to him, Yanjun was yawning too. He turned to his sleepy companion and said, “Let’s wait til they’re done and then go to bed.”
Zhangjing nodded in agreement, and shut his eyes just for a second.
When Zhangjing’s eyes fluttered open next, he felt strange and disorientated and sunlight was filtering through the kitchen window. His neck was at an awkward angle, there was a warm weight against his shoulder and his butt hurt from sitting on the hard kitchen floor all night-
They had fallen asleep on the kitchen floor.
He yelped and shot to his feet, Yanjun who had had his head on Zhangjing’s shoulder almost sliding to the floor before waking and blinking stupidly.
“The cookies,” Zhangjing wailed, “They must be cremated oh my God, we’re so stupid I can’t believe the oven didn’t set on fire.”
On the floor, Yanjun touched his cheek where it had been on contact with Zhangjing’s shoulder.
Zhangjing swung open the oven door, only to find it empty. “What?” he uttered in disbelief. Behind him Yanjun stood up and peered in as well, coming very close to Zhangjing’s side.
He straightened his back and pointed to the counter, “Look.” Zhangjing looked where he pointed and saw, arranged nicely on a plate, some rather well-formed chocolate chip cookies and a note.
The oven beeping woke me up so I went to yell at you but you were fast asleep and looked cute, so I took the cookies out for you. I took two as a payment
You’re welcome
-Lin Chaoze
One of their other roommates, Lin Chaoze, had apparently been and went, and saved their baked goods.
Yanjun picked one up, then handed it to Zhangjing. “You try it first.”
“Thank you,” Zhangjing took it and then bit it. He smiled. “it’s good.”
“It would be embarrassing if they were bad,” Yanjun said. “I’m glad they’re good.”
“They would have been burnt to a crisp if it weren’t for me,” they turned sharply to see Chaoze standing with his arms crossed, staring at them curiously. “What were you doing baking and napping at 2am? Since when are you two even friends.”
“We’re friends since this morning,” Yanjun said, sounding slightly annoyed.
“Thank you so much for taking them out, you should have woken us up,” Zhangjing said sincerely, leaving Yanjun’s side to go to Chaoze.
Chaoze only grinned at him, “Just call me Superman, and I didn’t wake you up because it was cuuute. Are you guys best friends now?”
Zhangjing rolled his eyes at him. “I’ve got class, I need to shower.”
“Have fun with that,” Chaoze said, waving to Yanjun too then leaving.
Alone again, Zhangjing turned back to Yanjun, who had moved towards his side.
it was different now, in the morning light. Life seemed real again, not like they were in a strange dream state where they became midnight companions and talked about their feelings while making cookies. Yanjun’s hair was dishevelled, but in the morning light he was still beautiful and still had his intense stare, but Zhangjing felt near immune to it now after being with it all night.
He wasn’t immune to dimples though, that popped out at that moment.
“Thank you for helping me,” he said, “You made me feel a lot better.”
Zhangjing flushed with happiness, and swatted his shoulder feeling bashful. “It’s no problem. If we do it again let’s not fall asleep and almost set the dorm on fire.”
Yanjun laughed brightly, the sound of it ringing pleasantly in Zhangjing’s ears. He had a nice laugh, and especially after his slightly subdued voice he’d used all the evening before.
“What professor do you have next?”
“Professor Li Ronghao, why?”
“I have him too,” and the dimples deepened.
Zhangjing blinked in surprise, “How have we been in the same class all semester and not noticed?”
“I noticed you, you sit in the front next to Bi Wenjun,” Yanjun smirked. “Maybe I’m just invisible to you...”
“Not anymore!” Zhangjing put his hand on his heart, “I’ll pay you the most attention from now on, Lin Yanjun. Let’s be good friends!”
“Friends,” Yanjun said softly. “Do you want to walk together?”
Zhangjing beamed. “Let me get dressed first.”
“Me too. I’ll buy you a bagel on the way there.”
Zhangjing shook his head in disbelief, “Why didn’t I befriend you earlier, damn Dinghao for disrupting me from getting close with my soulmate.”
“Noted, buying you food makes you like me.”
“What will make you like me?” Zhangjing asked.
“I already like you,” Yanjun said earnestly, then shot out of the room.
He was waiting outside Zhangjing’s door when he was done getting dressed and bought him the bagel as promised.
On the walk to the lecture theatre they chatted more, but it was different to before. It was friendly, platonic rather than flirty and Yanjun didn’t touch him once. In the lecture hall as he headed to sit by Wenjun, he grabbed Yanjun’s arm and pulled him down to sit with them too.
“This is my roommate, Yanjun,” he said when Wenjun looked at him in surprise. Wenjun nodded slowly, then smiled politely.
“It’s nice to meet you,” he said, “By the way, Zhangjing, here’re the notes you let me borrow last week. Thank you so much,” as he passed them, he squeezed his hand. On his other side, Yanjun tensed up, but Zhangjing ignored him.
“You’re welcome to ask me any time you miss class,” Zhangjing said, as he liked the tall boy. Wenjun smiled, but when his eyes glanced to Yanjun it diminished just slightly and he looked away. So Zhangjing looked at Yanjun and saw him looking completely neutral, so decided they were both just being weird this morning.
And so began the official friendship between Yanjun and Zhangjing. Even despite his sometimes odd behaviour, Zhangjing really was confused as to why they hadn’t befriended each other before. Yanjun was actually really funny, and it turned out he liked telling cold jokes. He was quite vain but not exactly arrogant, and with a face like that Zhangjing thought it was actually okay to stare at himself in the mirror a lot. The friendship wasn't quite an ordinary friendship because Zhangjing had naturally grown a crush, and how couldn't he when Yanjun looked like that and also this nice to him.
He played basketball four times a week and stayed true to his threat of making Zhangjing go to karaoke with him. This was where it turned out Yanjun himself knew how to sing too, when he did Kimberley Chen’s “Ai Ni” with Dinghao.
Zhangjing clapped enthusiastically for him. “Lin Yanjun, when would you tell me you could sing!”
Yanjun looked embarrassed, “I can’t sing as well as you can.”
“And I’m not as handsome as you are but are you saying I’m unattractive,” Zhangjing poked him, “You’ve got a lovely voice.”
“What about me,” Dinghao called.
“You sounded fine.”
“I’m sensing some favouritism here and you’ve been friends with me longer,” Dinghao sulked.
Zhangjing laughed at him, and then noticed Yanjun hadn’t said anything in response.
“You think I’m handsome?” he asked.
“Of course I do, who wouldn’t?”
“But you do?”
“I do,” Zhangjing couldn’t help but pull at the younger boy’s cheek. “You’re secretly so cute, Yanjun.”
He beamed, extra cute.
“I’m craving cake today,” he told Yanjun. They were lying on his bed listening to Ed Sheeran music, Zhangjing’s legs strewn over Yanjun’s. “Let’s get cake.”
“I’ve got basketball in twenty minutes,” Yanjun said and Zhangjing pouted. Immediately, Yanjun added, “I’ll leave early. Come meet me at the court at 2?” Zhangjing grinned at him and took his hand, and Yanjun grinned back.
They were close like this often, their friendship accelerating pretty quickly, but Yanjun still hadn’t been flirting as intensely as he had that first night, and Zhangjing was wondering if it was a one time thing. This was a bit of a problem because Zhangjing was finding himself falling head over heels for Yanjun, who was handsome, smart, tall, handsome, nice, very handsome and also funny. He was also handsome, and Zhangjing could honestly stare at him for hours.
However, there was the fact that Yanjun seemed to flirt just fine with everyone else. He had a swarm of fangirls who liked watching him play basketball, and whenever they approached he smiled that easy, charming smile and flirted.
As he accepted a letter he told a girl her hands were super soft, winked at one he caught staring at him, blew kisses at the ones that came to watch him play. Zhangjing wondered if he should watch one time, and if he would get a blow kiss if he did.
At 2 he arrived at the courts, not seeing Yanjun anywhere he sat down on the bench. The rest of the team had only just finished, so he supposed Yanjun was in the showers.
Upon seeing him, one of the boys immediately ran over, who Zhangjing recognised as Cai Xukun, star of the team. “Are you Zhangjing?” He nodded. “Yanjun’s in the shower he’ll be right out.”
“Thanks,” Zhangjing said, noticing the others were all looking at him too and feeling slightly overwhelmed with all these tall handsome boys staring at him.
“You too must be quite close, he’s never left practice early even for his mom,” Xukun was almost smirking, but his manner was too polite for it to be very obvious.
“We’re close,” Zhangjing agreed, deciding it was true.
“Zhangjing!” came Yanjun’s voice, and he quickly stood up to greet him, missing Xukun covering his mouth with his hand in delight.
His hair was damp and he hadn’t put his jacket on yet, but he was smiling widely. “Did you wait long?” he asked breathlessly.
“No, I spoke with Xukun.”
Yanjun’s smile wavered as he glanced at the other boy, who smiled reassuringly.
“Don’t worry, he’s all yours,” he said, confusingly, and then retreated to the rest of the boys.
“Let’s go get cake,” Yanjun said, taking hold of Zhangjing’s arm (reminding Zhangjing of the way he did it that night) seeming desperate to get him away. “You didn’t fall for Xukun, right?”
“Fall for Xukun? I spoke to him for less than a minute.”
“He’s dating Ziyi anyway.”
“I’m not going to fall for him if I spoke to him for a day,” Zhangjing giggled, lightness spreading in his chest as Yanjun finally looked at him again.
“Good. I mean that’s good for Ziyi,” and his arm fell to squeeze Zhangjing’s hand instead of his arm, if only for a second.
As time went on they grew only closer, but confusingly Yanjun still neglected to make any major moves. He strangely started appearing more in the dorms, unlike before when he’d made so few appearances Zhangjing hadn’t spoken to him at all during the first semester. They even had a dorm movie night and ordered pizza, as Yanjun was finally around for them to be complete.
Chaoze and Dinghao seemed to like spending a lot of time looking at him and Yanjun and whispering and giggling but smiled at with innocent stares when he confronted it.
He often went to pick Yanjun up from basketball, ending up chatting with the other boys a lot who also seemed very interested in him for reasons he couldn’t extract from them.
One time he even dropped him off, when he and Chaoze were heading in that direction to get haircuts so walked with Yanjun to the courts. Upon arriving, Ziyi grinned at him and said, “Here’s our Dimple Guardian.”
“What?” Zhangjing asked, but Yanjun had pushed Ziyi twelve metres away by then, waved goodbye and stormed off, so he never got his answer.
“Why do they call me the Dimple Guardian?” Zhangjing frowned in confusion, feeling offput by the strange nickname as he and Chaoze walked away.
“They call you that because you are the guardian of the dimples, you decide whether they appear or not,” Chaoze smirked.
“What dimples?”
“Yanjun’s dimples. Legend says they only appear when You Zhangjing walks into the general vicinity.”
Zhangjing found himself laughing at that. “Oh please. He smiles at loads of things. He smiled widely when the pizza arrived last night.”
“Or did he smile because you squealed and grabbed his wrist,” Chaoze said, staring into the sky fake-deeply.
“Stop it.”
“He’s obsessed with you,” Chaoze said pointedly.
“No, he’s not.”
“He follows you around everywhere and buys you cake.”
“We’re friends so we hang out, and he’s ruining my diet,” Zhangjing replied airily. He couldn’t deny the way his heart sped up at the notion Chaoze was implying, that Yanjun was doing it because he liked him, but he quickly filed it under “fantasies”, because hot popular guys didn’t date short chubby guys.
“You’re not even chubby, you’re literally skinny,” Chaoze rolled his eyes as Zhangjing related the facts to him.
“He’s skinnier.”
“He plays basketball. Why don’t you become a cheerleader to lose weight too, and also to cheer him on,” Chaoze’s eyes narrowed teasingly and Zhangjing pushed him, turning away until the pink on his cheeks faded.
“Lin Yanjun is a flirt. I see him flirting with everyone,” Zhangjing said. “It’s not like he flirts especially hard with me.”
“Then look harder,” Chaoze said.
“I really think he likes you,” Dinghao said as well when they were doing washing up together.
“Hmm, I’m not that sure. He’s been more distant lately,” Zhangjing frowned, thinking of how close he got the first night, then not so much afterwards.
“Please, he stares at your ass like it’s a buffet and he hasn’t eaten in weeks.”
“Lu Dinghao for the love of God,” Zhangjing threw his towel at him, scandalised. Then, “Does he really?”
“Uh, ya. You know Bi Wenjun was thinking of asking you out but then he got scared to because of how possessive he saw Yanjun being. Xinchun told me.”
“He’s not possessive.”
“He glares at eligible guys that approach you like he’ll throw them off a roof if they touch you. He glared at me once because I put my arm around you during movie night. When we were playing Truth or Dare, Xingjie asked Chaoze who he’d date out of the roommates and he said you, I swear Lin Yanjun caused icicles to grow from the ceiling.”
Zhangjing’s cheeks were growing steadily redder and he finally shoved Dinghao. “Stop it. If he does all that why isn’t he making any more moves on me?”
“I guess he’s shy.”
“He’s not shy, look at how he treats all his fangirls,” Zhangjing rolled his eyes.
“If he’s gay then it’s natural he’s only shy around boys he likes,” Dinghao reasoned.
Finally unable to think of something to say back, Zhangjing stayed silent stewing over his thoughts. Apart from his own insecurity it kind of made sense Yanjun liked him, he was just fickle about showing it. Next to him, Dinghao tensed just barely, before taking off his rubber gloves and sliding his arm around Zhangjing’s waist.
“Oh hi, Yanjun.”
Zhangjing spun around so fast he almost gave himself whiplash, to see the boy standing at the doorway with his eyes fixed hard as steel on Dinghao’s arm around his waist.
“Hi,” Zhangjing just about squeaked.
“It’s so good you’re here,” Dinghao squeezed Zhangjing closer, “My Jingjing was just saying he was hungry, but I have to finish these dishes...”
“Hungry?” Zhangjing asked stupidly.
“You said you were craving ice cream,” Dinghao smiled fixedly.
“I’ll take you to get ice cream,” Yanjun said immediately. Dinghao’s hand dropped from Zhangjing’s waist and Yanjun’s whole body visibly relaxed. Dinghao unceremoniously shoved him away and put his gloves back on, as Yanjun grabbed Zhangjing’s hand and pulled him out.
Zhangjing turned around to see Dinghao wink at him, and he beamed back in gratitude.
It was 3am and Zhangjing was awake. He was thinking about Lin Yanjun, which wasn’t uncommon for him seeing as his gentle crush was a full blown crush but Yanjun still wasn’t flirting with him like he wanted him to. He had tried making his own feelings obvious, asking Yanjun to duet “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran with him, going to all his basketball games, stroking his hair when he got headaches, he’d had a phone conversation with Yanjun’s mom even, he took his arm whenever they sat next to each other and yet the loser would not flirt with him.
The reason he didn’t give up was that the entire basketball team, all of his roommates, Li Ronghao and also Yanjun’s mom had told him that Yanjun liked him.
Zhangjing decided it was time for one last move, as an idea snuck into his head. So he swung his feet out of bed, strolled over to Yanjun’s door and knocked.
It opened pretty quickly, suggesting Yanjun hadn’t been asleep either.
“Bake cookies with me,” Zhangjing said. Yanjun beamed.
It hadn’t even been that many months since they’d been in the kitchen together, but it felt so different. Some things were the same, the single kitchen light was still yellow, and still cast shadows of Yanjun’s cheekbones that made him look like a Greek God. But this time they giggled together from the start, and Yanjun’s eyes were bright instead of downcast, and they were best friends and maybe something more instead of near strangers, ships passing in the night.
Yanjun walked to Zhangjing’s cupboard and pulled out the chocolate chips with flourish that he knew where always there.
They made the dough without dropping any bowls and when it was time to shape them, Zhangjing dramatically whipped out a heart shaped cookie cutter. Yanjun laughed delightedly and pulled the older boy into a tight hug, where they could both hear each other’s rapid heartbeats.
Then the cookies were in the oven and Zhangjing looked at them as they baked while Yanjun looked at Zhangjing.
“Let’s not fall asleep this time,” Zhangjing joked, trying not to swoon under Yanjun’s tender gaze.
“No, let’s stay awake.” Yanjun’s eyes darted over Zhangjing’s face, as he swallowed and his brow tightened slightly. Then he suddenly darted forward and pressed his lips to Zhangjing’s cheek. It was brief contact but it made his heart nearly hammer out of his chest, before something warm and bright started glowing there instead.
He caught Yanjun’s eyes, which were just slightly worried. Zhangjing knew he had to give a response, though he didn’t know why Yanjun was worried. If alternate parallel universes existed, in every single one of them You Zhangjing was stupidly into Lin Yanjun.
He said, “My cheek, really?”
“What?”
“You’re a coward.”
“No I’m not.”
“Prove it.”
Lin Yanjun beamed at him and then swooped down to kiss him fully on the mouth, his arms winding tightly around Zhangjing’s waist like he was afraid he’d go away, but Zhangjing was fully intending on staying where he was for the rest of his life, in the arms of this boy kissing him like there was no tomorrow.
Zhangjing’s own arms reached up to slide onto Yanjun’s shoulders, and one hand to angle Yanjun’s face even more towards him, so he could deepen the kiss as well as get a firm grip on him.
When their tongues met Yanjun moaned just slightly, and even the quiet sound of it jolted Zhangjing even further into action. He’d never kissed anyone as hot as Yanjun before, or someone he liked as much, and god be damned if he wasn’t making the most of it.
He tried to pull Yanjun even closer, but it was near impossible at this point they were glued so close together, but the taller boy seemed to appreciate the sentiment as he slid his hand down Zhangjing’s back and then under his shirt, so that his warm hand was pressed against it, and started running his nails gently in circles. The feeling of it was amazing, so Zhangjing slid his hand into Yanjun’s hair just behind his ear where he knew Yanjun liked to be scratched.
He felt Yanjun grin slightly against his lips, and then his tongue delved deeper into the velvet of Yanjun’s mouth. Yanjun was slowly pressing him against the counter, their hips slotting gradually together until Zhangjing finally gasped, causing their mouths to separated momentarily.
He shouldn’t have opened his eyes, because Yanjun was staring at him hungrily and Zhangjing knew this image would be printed on the back of his eyelids forever. “So do you like me?” Yanjun asked, probably trying to sound cheeky but his voice was wrecked.
“Jun, you can’t possibly not know how into you I am. I was literally sending you every signal under the sun.”
“Since when?”
“Since you grabbed my bicep when we were making cookies.”
“That was a killer move, wasn’t it?” Yanjun grinned proudly.
“I knew you were flirting, you loser!” Zhangjing said.
“Um, the point of flirting is that the other party knows you’re flirting.”
“So why did you stop being so obvious afterwards?”
“I got shy.”
Zhangjing couldn’t help but laugh at the sudden revelation, and even Yanjun was still smiling at him. Throughout their little conversation their bodies were still pressed as close together as when they were kissing, only their mouths weren’t joined anymore. Zhangjing found himself very aware of every inch of his skin that was touching Yanjun’s,
“Um, Yanjun, I don’t know if you noticed by we’re not kissing right now.”
“We’re not,” Yanjun’s eyes crinkled.
“And honestly I think it’s a waste of everyone’s time.”
“Everyone’s,” Yanjun breathed and pressed their mouths together again, more confidently this time. One of his hands was still under Zhangjing’s shirt, but the other went even further down to touch his butt, and Zhangjing wouldn’t have swatted it away in any of the parallel universes.
The two of them kissed and kissed, their entwined bodies not separating even for a second as they licked and moaned into each other’s mouths in probably the most intense and also fantastic make out session Zhangjing had ever had. His hand was just trailing down Yanjun’s chest and making its way downtown when the oven suddenly started beeping. Zhangjing quickly turned it off lest Chaoze come investigate again and pulled them out of the oven with the tattered oven gloves.
“How are they?” Yanjun asked, peering over Zhangjing’s shoulder.
“Perfect,” he said, as Yanjun’s arms circled around his waist.