Actions

Work Header

Hanji The Secret Teller

Summary:

Hanji really needs to learn how to keep her mouth shut.

Notes:

I know I said I wouldn't be writing anything but Our College Adventures, but this came into my mind. There also needs to be more stories in the canon universe.

I know this sucks so you don't have to tell me.

It depends if an idea comes to mind and how many hits this gets, but I might write more one shots.

What do you all think? Should I write another one shot if an idea comes to mind? Let me know what you think! (That made me sound like a YouTuber.)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

  Connie sighed as he put his arms behind his head, laying on them. He was laying on some hay bales, bored. Sasha, Reiner, Ymir, Krista, and Jean were somewhere near him, bored as well. It seemed like finishing your chores early wasn’t such a good idea sometimes.

 

“How long have we been standing here?” Jean asked, his voice laced with boredom. “About twenty  minutes.” Ymir answered, her voice the same as usual. “Ugh.” Reiner said as he stretched. “I wonder if Hanji is done with Eren.” Sasha wondered out loud. “Why would you want that loser here?” Jean sneered. “When Eren’s around something interesting happens or he says something that we can wonder about.” Sasha answered, leaning on the hay bale. “Now that I think about it, that does happen.” Ymir said. Connie looked up, trying to spot someone. “Wasn’t Krista here?” He asked. “She’s right here.” Ymir said, pointing at the sleeping Krista leaning on her. “Oh.” Connie said, laying back down.

 

   Five minutes later, a jogging Eren comes up to them. “Hey guys. Finish your chores early?” Eren asked, crossing his arms. “Eren!” Sasha yelled, jumping up and grabbing onto Eren’s waist. “Hey Sasha!” Eren laughed. “Finally!” Reiner groaned. “Where’s Armin and Mikasa?” Ymir asked. “They still have chores, along with Bertolt.” Eren informed, prying Sasha off of him. “Hey Eren, what did you and Hanji do?” Connie asked, sitting up. “Eh, she just took a blood sample.” Eren shrugged. “Isn’t that the fifth time this week?” Jean asked. “Yeah. Watch out Jaeger, or you’re going to run out of blood.” Ymir smirked. “Yeah.” Eren dismissed. Ten minutes of talking later, Krista wakes up. “Hm.” Krista groaned as she sat up. “Hey Angel. Come back to Earth?” Ymir asked. “Huh?” Krista asked, still half asleep. Ymir laughed, bringing the blonde closer to her. Their conversation came back to life, and they slowly started talk about relationships.

 

  “....and so I’m laughing while she runs from a frog.” Reiner finished his story. “She break up with you after that?” Jean asked. “Oh yeah.” Reiner nodded. “Have you all ever seen the Commander, Captain, or Hanji in a relationship?” Connie blurted, shoving pieces of hay of his pants. “I’m pretty sure Hanji would dissect their partner.” Sasha replied. “That just leaves Erwin and Levi.” Jean said. “Don’t they seem gay to you all?” Ymir asked. “All I know is Levi’s gay and Erwin’s bisexual.” Eren said, sitting on the grass. Everyone stared at Eren in disbelief, wondering how he knew that. “Dude, have you been with the Commander before?” Connie ask. “God no! Hanji just told me!” Eren exclaimed. “Hanji tells you that kind of stuff?” Jean asked. “Yeah. She just tells me secrets she knows. The weird thing is, I don’t think she knows she’s doing it.” Eren explained. “What else did she tell you?” Ymir asked. “I don’t think Eren should be telling us this.” Krista said. “Relax Krista. I’m pretty sure they won’t be that bad!” Reiner said. Krista still believed they shouldn’t be doing this, but she kept quiet.

 

   “Did you all know Petra peed herself on her first expedition?” Eren asked. Thirty minutes later, everyone was laughing at the stupid things people did. “Hey guys, Levi said to come to dinner.” Armin said, walking up to the laughing teens. “Guys?” Armin asked, confused. After they calmed down, they walked to dinner.


 

   “No way! They didn’t!” Connie exclaimed, eating his stew. “Apparently they did! The next day, Erwin found Elle’s panties in his office!” Eren continued. “What happened to ‘em?” Reiner asked, eating his bread. “They both had to clean every bathroom to Levi’s standards.” Eren said.  They continued talking, not knowing three people were watching them.

 

    “What do you think they’re talking about?” Hanji asked. “Who knows, they’re disgusting teenagers.” Levi replied, biting out of his bread. “Arlert says they were laughing at something when he went to pick them up.” Erwin commented. “Four-eyes, have you said anything to Jaeger?” Levi asked. 

 

  “Hm….I don’t think so. Why?” Hanji asked. “Jaeger is the one that’s making them laugh. Normally Jaeger is one of the last people to make them laugh.” Levi replied. “Oh, wait!” Hanji exclaimed. Erwin and Levi looked at her, Levi raising an eyebrow at Hanji’s nervous experastion. “I - uh- um….” Hanji hesitated. “Spit it out.” Levi demanded. “Um...I may or may not have told Eren everyone’s embarrassing moments….” Hanji said. Levi sighed and stood up. “Levi, what are you doing?” Hanji asked as Levi walked to Eren’s table.  Eren was telling the story of what Oluo found in the Hanji’s lab when Captain Levi walked over. Eren went silent as Levi got closer. “I understand you brats were laughing at soldiers embarrassing moments.” Levi said, crossing his arms. “We - um.. - you see…” Connie struggled. “Shut it. Jaeger.” Levi said, getting Eren’s attention. “Did you, or did you not get the stories from Hanji?”. “Yes sir.” Eren nodded. “I see. And what stories were they?” Levi asked. “One story was about Petra peeing herself.” Reiner’s voice boomed. Everyone in the mess hall was silent as they stared at Petra. “How did….Hanji! That was supposed to be a secret!” Petra yelled at Hanji. “Another story was about how Oluo get his head stuck in a tree.” Connie continued. “Another story was about how Eld got splinters in his butt.” Jean added. “Hanji!” Eld shouted. “Alright, that’s enough! Jaeger, Braun, Springer, Kirstein, and Ymir, meet me in my office after dinner.” Levi demanded, walking back to his table.


 

     They did meet Levi in his office. Along with Erwin, Hanji, Petra, Oluo, and Eld. Apparently they couldn’t get out of the punishments with the “But Hanji told Eren the stories!” excuse. So as punishment, they were to clean all bathrooms, offices, and the mess hall to Levi’s standards for five weeks. What surprised them was that Hanji got a punishment as well. “What did you expect? As you said earlier, she’s the one that told you the stories.” Levi said. They didn’t find out what Hanji’s punishment was until they heard “Ugh, do I have to?” come from Hanji, who was following Erwin and Levi. “They’re so boring! All they do is drink!” Hanji exclaimed. Apparently her punishment was to hang out with the Military Police. She would spend her mornings eating breakfast and experimenting for an hour before going to the Military Police and hanging out with them for the rest of the day.

  Oh well. At least they can embarrass people whenever they want.

 

 

Notes:

Thank you for reading! Don't forget to comment, kudo, and/or bookmark!

Series this work belongs to: