Work Text:
She was clutching the flower in her hand, nearly tight enough that the stems might just snap. They were white lilies, from a patch she’d spotted near her lab. Iruma chuckled sadly to herself, thinking how beautiful they were, just like Kaede. It wasn’t fair, really, it wasn’t, and she sorta wanted to punch someone even if there wasn’t a reason.
Iruma wasn’t sure why she was here again, or why she was carrying these stupid flowers with her. It wasn’t like Kaede could talk with her, not anymore. Nevertheless, she knelt down next to her grave, the second in a row of four, and placed the makeshift bouquet by the headstone. Tears threatened to run as she remembered the bright, determined girl.
She remembered the insistent way she told Iruma to call her by her given name, how she thought it was somewhat silly to be known for her family. And god, she loved the way her name rolled off her tongue. Of course, that was only when they were together...
Iruma chastised herself for being so silly, she only knew Kaede for what, a fucking week? And here she was, catching dumb, stupid feelings for some random pretty girl? And now she’s dead! Lady Luck must really love her these days.
The second she felt the wetness on her cheeks, she hastily rubbed at them with her sleeves. Even if it was nearing three in the morning, she couldn’t let herself risk being seen in such a weak state. They’d just make fun of her for it, probably. The girl who acts so tough and rowdy, really just a little fucking fake.
“Sorry for crying in front of your grave, Kaede.”
She pauses, as if getting a response, and smiles to herself, bitterly. She doesn’t believe in ghosts, but she wishes she did. Maybe then she could make conversation with herself, instead of sitting her by her lonesome in front of the girl she’d fallen for in seconds.
”I know you can’t actually respond, or anything like that, and maybe there’s nothing left of you but that corpse in there, but I hope that’s not how it is. Because if it is, that’s fucking bullshit. You deserve an afterlife. Even if Heaven is just shitty lies, you deserve more than this pathetic end. You wanted to save us, you wanted to end the killing game. You’re such a damn good person, and it’s not fucking fair!” Iruma knew she was getting over emotional, but she couldn’t stop the choked sobs that escaped her anymore. She knew she wasn’t acting like herself, but hell if she was going to wear a mask in front of Kaede. Kaede didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. She didn’t deserve all of this, at all. It should’ve been Iruma who had been discovered blackened, even if she hadn’t pulled the stunt Kaede did. Kaede should’ve lived, and Iruma would’ve gladly taken her place.
Really, it wasn’t fair.