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your umbrella still sits in my room.
sometimes, i think to myself; do you want it back?
i can't help but to laugh a little at that. i'm not letting you have your umbrella back unless you come here and take it from me.
i think it's been two weeks. are you ever going to take it back? it can't be mine forever, you know. you'll need it eventually. it will be rainy today.
i wonder if i'll see you again?
Jinsoul always eyed that umbrella every time she woke up in the morning. It always gave her hope. Maybe she'll see her again. Maybe today she'll be lucky, like she was before.
Jinsoul got up from her bed and down the stairs to the front door, where she slipped on her shoes and got her wallet out of her bag. She opened the door to be welcomed by the humid summer air, but not even the heat could force her to frown. Jinsoul was sure nothing could make her frown anymore. She was too stuck in this weird euphoric feeling, taking her so high that she worried she may never come down. And whatever it was, she knew correlated to Sooyoung. Somehow.
She walked down the sidewalk, hearing her shoes click against it, over and over in a steady rhythm. She wore a big grin, finding everything so glamorous and amazing suddenly. It's kind of funny, actually, how it was never like this before she met Sooyoung.
i've been smiling ever since you gave me it. do you know that?
somehow, you really make me want to smile. you make me want to dance, and stargaze, and run around like crazy. i'd like to do a lot of things. i'd like to do most of them with you, though.
It was still early in the morning. Early enough so that the coffee shop shouldn't be crowded, and Jinsoul would be able to avoid a line. Not that it mattered much anyway, but it was always nice to order without worrying about taking too long.
She wondered if Sooyoung would be there. Sometimes Jinsoul would see her, sitting at the table furthest away from the others, always looking out the window. She was always alone. Jinsoul wondered why. Maybe she just wasn't a people person.
But immediately she was reminded of their interaction, how it could be so simple for Sooyoung to talk to her then. Her cheeks flushed at the thought, almost stopping in her tracks as her mind wandered. She tried to hide her face, although the street wasn't crowded and there wasn't many people to see anyway. She tried to hide her growing smile but gave up the inevitable, feeling it grow across her face. Her heart fluttered as she thought about their first interaction.
It was so odd, even a little off, to have reversed roles in that situation. Because normally, Jinsoul was the one staring at Sooyoung, admiring her silhouette, and, if she was lucky enough for Sooyoung to turn her way, even for a second, her gorgeous face. Jinsoul swore Sooyoung belonged in a magazine. She was too ethereal for her own good. Even for Jinsoul's own good. Jinsoul kept walking, her feet just knowing where to go as her mind remained lost in thought.
She felt her entire body heat up as she remembered Sooyoung's touch, even if it was only a mere brush of their hands. Even if it only lasted a second. Jinsoul's fingers curled unconsciously, trying to grasp onto Sooyoung's hand. She remembered how Sooyoung radiated so much body heat, how she was so warm standing next to her. God, she'd do anything to feel her warmth again.
She neared the cafe and mindlessly ordered her regular coffee and paid the appropriate amount. But the employee quickly noticed the smile printed across Jinsoul's face. "You look really excited," she spoke, instantly happier at Jinsoul's happiness. It was so contagious, she just had one of those smiles where you can't help but to smile too.
Jinsoul blushed, looking down at her feet. "Yeah.." she scratched the back of her neck, looking back up to the barista. "Just thinking." Jinsoul was afraid to say anymore, though, as she knew Sooyoung was also a customer here. Maybe the barista would tell her. She couldn't risk it. Besides, she was happy knowing Sooyoung and the situation that one night was her little secret. Although nothing much happened that night, it would always take place as the happiest moment in Jinsoul's mind.
The barista laughed, lidding a coffee cup and sliding it to Jinsoul. "There you go," she smiled. Jinsoul nodded to thank her and left to a table. She paused for a moment in front of the one she usually sat at. Maybe she should sit closer to Sooyoung's table..? But the thought didn't last long as she shook it away, deciding she wasn't confident enough yet.
Sighing, she sat down, stirring her coffee as she stared off into the distance. She really couldn't forget about that girl, could she?
It was getting so late. It was already darker than the eye could see, if you didn't allow yourself to adjust for a minute. It had been raining all day- pouring, even. So, Jinsoul waited in the cafe. And waited. And waited. And sat around so bored and tired she thought she might accidentally doze off any second. It was so late to the point her focal point wasn't even on Sooyoung anymore, just those dots splattered on the ceiling, where she looked up. But Sooyoung was surely gone by now, anyway.
She always kept a glance at her every time they were in the cafe at the same time. She couldn't help but to feel in awe at her beauty, not being able to find it in herself to stop staring sometimes. On good days, sometimes Sooyoung would look back. On really good days, Sooyoung might even smile at her. Jinsoul's heart melted, remembering how she saw Sooyoung's smile today. And she was even looking at Jinsoul. The smile was for her. Perhaps Jinsoul was carrying a rabbits foot, because it felt like she got extremely lucky today. Her heart quickened in her chest.
She yawned, looking out the window one last time with little hope remaining. Sighing frustratedly, she got up and just decided to leave. At this point it had to be far past midnight and the stars that twinkled behind the clouds dimly held no signs of revealing themselves, so Jinsoul knew better than to just sit around and hopelessly wait for the never ending rain to die out.
"Thank you for keeping the shop open for me. Thank you so much, but I think I'm gonna have to go now," Jinsoul told the barista, to which she replied with a tired smile.
"It's no problem," she moved from behind to counter to grab her bag. "You're not a hassle, and I don't mind your company. Don't worry about it," she patted Jinsoul twice on the shoulder for good measure, moving towards the doors as her hand hovered above the light switch. She waited for Jinsoul to exit before she shut off the light and opened her umbrella, walking opposite from Jinsoul.
Jinsoul sighed, feeling her clothes already dampen from the downpour, hair starting to flatten against her head. She sighed, closing her eyes. Home was a ten minute walk. Then she can change into her pajamas, get into bed, watch a really cute movie, and go to sleep. She took in a deep breath, stepping forward in slow and cautious steps, careful not to splash in any of the growing puddles. Her steps could barely be heard over the pouring rain around her, as droplets came down faster than your eyes could process, everything becoming a blur.
It was a quiet and boring walk that felt like eternity, although no more than three minutes could have passed by. She felt cold and drenched as goosebumps took over her skin. She shivered at the cold breeze flying through, wondering exactly how much longer it would have to be until she was back home. All she wanted was to change into dry clothes, lay down, and sleep for hours on end. She huffed angrily under her breath as she felt something splash onto her from behind, looking back to see what it was.
Or, in this case, who it was.
She blinked twice, even rubbing her eyes in disbelief. What the fuck was Sooyoung doing at this hour? But more so, she felt her heart leap into her throat, trying to swallow it down as she attempted clearing her throat. "Oh, gosh- Sorry- I mean- was I in your way?" She laughed awkwardly after realizing how frantic she sounded. She rubbed the back of her neck out of nervous habit.
Sooyoung chuckled cutely at that, smiling fondly at the flustered girl in front of her. "You're fine," she nodded. "But I saw you walking and I felt really bad."
"Huh? Why?" Jinsoul questioned, eyebrows furrowing curiously.
"Um," Sooyoung's eyes motioned down and up Jinsoul's body. "You're kinda.. uh.. soaked." Consciously, Jinsoul immediately looked down at her body, and, despite knowing her condition, her eyes widened. Her jacket had droplets dripping from it, hair flat against her shoulders, clothes sticking to her figure. She laughed a little at that, looking back at Sooyoung innocently, a nervous smile plastered on her face.
Sooyoung laughed. She was so cute. She stepped closer to the girl and held out the umbrella in her hands, offering it to her. "Here," she said. "I don't want you to catch a cold."
Jinsoul's mouth fell slightly ajar, looking at Sooyoung gratefully. But inside, she didn't want to take it. Because that meant Sooyoung would have to suffer in the rain. "No, I- You should use it. I'll be home soon anyway," Jinsoul smiled while motioning her hands to say 'no'.
But Sooyoung was persistent, and she only took another step closer to Jinsoul. Jinsoul gulped, feeling Sooyoung's body heat radiating onto her skin. She felt her rapid heartbeat in her head, maybe even Sooyoung could hear it.
Sooyoung smiled at the girl's worried actions. "I don't need it. I'm taking the bus home, anyway."
Jinsoul's eyes softened at that. Sooyoung, the girl who she'd been secretly watching and crushing on for god knows how long, was standing here, inches away from her, offering Jinsoul her umbrella. In her head, she was freaking out. But on the outside, she tried her best to remain as collected as possible. But when she felt Sooyoung's hand brush against her own, she couldn't stop the euphoric smile on her face. She placed the umbrella gently into Jinsoul's hand, watching as Jinsoul's fist tightly enclosed the handle. She smiled, stepping a bit away from the girl.
"There you go! Now, you can at least be a little less wet," Sooyoung laughed cutely, like a toddler.
Jinsoul melted at that. "Thank you.. Thank you."
Sooyoung stared at Jinsoul for a while, not even feeling the rain pouring onto her. She couldn't help but to look at the girl for a little, admiring her up close. She knew this girl from the cafe, right? "I'm Sooyoung," she smiled.
"I know," Jinsoul laughed, later mentally slapping herself. God damnit, that's not what you say when someone tells you their name. But out of embarrassment, Jinsoul turned and quickly walked off as she held the umbrella tightly.
"She's so pretty," Jinsoul sighed dreamily under her breath.
Jinsoul was brought back to reality when she heard the bell of the door ring, signaling a new customer. Quickly, she looked over to see, curiosity getting the best of her, and immediately looked back to her own table, hiding her flushed face. It was Sooyoung. They made eye contact. Holy shit.
Jinsoul took a sip of her coffee on instinct to distract herself, and she wasn't sure how but she ended up choking on the (still very hot) beverage. Oh my god. I'm a mess. After a short coughing fit and trying miserably to avoid the eyes that fell upon her, Jinsoul got up to get napkins.
i really hope you didn't see that. but if you did, thanks for not laughing. or if i couldn't hear it cause i was too busy choking, at least i could make you smile.
Sighing, Jinsoul just dragged her body to the napkin dispenser, grabbing a handful and turning to walk back. That was, until she found herself tripping. She was ready to scream out of frustration until she felt someone's arms wrap around her, catching her almost immediately.
Jinsoul's entire body froze up, stiff under the person's arms. Her hands almost dropped the napkins she just got as she heard the person above laugh a little. "Not your day, huh?"
oh. my. fucking. god????
this isn't happening. jinsoul, snap out of it. sooyoung didn't just catch you in her arms. this is some dream, it has to be. this kind of stuff only happens in the movies.
now, just close your eyes, count to ten- deep breaths- and look up again.
"Hello?"
Immediately Jinsoul slammed her eyes shut again, hearing Sooyoung speak as confirmation to her doubtful thoughts.
i'm not dreaming. this is real.
should i scream? no, that's a little weird. i can scream enough internally right now, don't make a scene.
Jinsoul looked around the cafe.
actually, we already made a scene.
great.
Taking a deep breath in, Jinsoul looked up at Sooyoung again. She looked a little weirded out, but it wasn't like Jinsoul could blame her. She'd be weirded out too. It didn't even come to her mind that Sooyoung's arms were wrapped around her. Or- not until Sooyoung smiled, bringing Jinsoul back to her thoughts after staring at Sooyoung's face.
i can't tell if i got really lucky today or if i just totally embarrassed myself in front of sooyoung. if i mess up i will not die it down ever.
she's smiling at you. just smile back. it's easy- NO! NO! jinsoul what are you doing??? that's not a smile and you probably look like you're drooling. now get up on your feet-
Jinsoul tried prying herself out of Sooyoung's touch, but something in her body wouldn't allow that.
oh my god, you're embarrassing yourself. just get up dumbass.
Jinsoul reluctantly pulled herself out of Sooyoung's arms, now standing a couple inches from her. Close enough so she could still feel her warmth. At this point, everyone else had already lost interest and went back to drinking their coffee or eating muffins or something Jinsoul couldn't focus on right now she only saw Sooyoung's face. "Thank- Uh, sorry, for, umm... falling? Thank you." Jinsoul mentally face palmed herself after saying that.
can't be normal for one second, huh.
Thankfully, Sooyoung hasn't ran away at this point, which surprised Jinsoul. "It's alright. I was going to go up to you to say," Jinsoul almost couldn't hear the rest of that sentence. Her mind started celebrating and her heart was doing flips, knowing Sooyoung was going to talk to her.
wow, i wonder what she was going to say. to me. specifically directed to me. not anyone else. me.
Sooyoung stared at Jinsoul for a little, watching as she was lost in though. "Uhh... Jinsoul?"
Immediately, Jinsoul left her thoughts.
she knows my name?!?! maybe i am dreaming then. this is too good to be true. i hate my mind for building up my hopes like this.
Jinsoul smiled innocently, "Uh, could you... maybe.. repeat that?" She asked, feeling as if she could break a nervous sweat any second now. She couldn't tell if this was real or just a dream. No fiber in her body felt conscious in that moment, yet at the same time, Sooyoung's touch, Sooyoung's warmth, it all made Jinsoul feel so alive.
Sooyoung smiled warmly at Jinsoul's cuteness. "I asked if you still had my umbrella." Sooyoung looked into Jinsoul's eyes, seeing how bright and full of life they were. How they twinkled under the lighting of the cafe. How her eyelashes batted and touched her cheeks every time she blinked.
oh, right.
Jinsoul couldn't help but to laugh a little at that, "I don't think I want to give it back." Her smile grew across her face, seeing Sooyoung look so happy across from her.
"What would change your mind?" Sooyoung asked confidently.
Jinsoul hummed, "A date." She wasn't sure where she got this sudden confidence from. Maybe Sooyoung just had such a strong aura it just oozes onto others.
Sooyoung laughed, not even stopping to think for a second. "And that's what you want?"
Jinsoul felt her heart dance around at that, "Perhaps," she blushed.
---
and now, it's been a year. i still have your umbrella. but i guess you had it too, seeing how your figure was sleeping next to mine.
i think now, i like you more than ever before. i never thought it was possible. but once again, you somehow proved me wrong.
whether it be with your little butterfly kisses across my face, the dinners you'd make when i said i was hungry, the warmth of your body when we were watching scary movies, the touch of your fingertips that sent me to heaven. i hope you know you're my only one. i love you so much. and i know you do too. but i'll never get tired of hearing you remind me.
my heart still leaps out of my chest every time i look at you. i've come to like the feeling a little. it was like your signature trademark on me.
i will never leave your side. and i will never give you back your umbrella. after all, i think we both know it mine now.