Work Text:
1.-
The first time it had happened, Hansol hadn’t been the first one to figure it out.
Hansol was just hanging out in the living room of their dorm, which had two couches, two loveseats, and more bean bags than he could count.
Sharing a living room with 12 other boys was difficult, and PLEDIS had resorted to the cheaper options: bean bags for everyone. In reality, most of said bean bags ended up inside rooms, so what had turned into a sea of bean bags, was dwindled to just a couple, and the aforementioned couches and loveseats.
Hansol enjoyed the bean bags, though, they relaxed him more than sitting upright and he liked using them when he was playing a videogame on their shared TV set. Today, he had been watching a new tvN drama he hadn’t had the time to watch, along with Jihoon and Seungcheol, who had been sharing the bigger couch.
“He’s hilarious,” Hansol said after laughing at a particularly funny scene that involved a baby.
“Yeah, I think he might be one of the most compelling side characters I’ve seen in a drama,” Seungcheol replied, gummy smile in place. Jihoon didn’t comment, but Hansol noticed he had shifted slightly closer to Seungcheol while he wasn’t looking. Now, his legs were fully placed on top of Seuncheol’s lap.
Hansol raised a questioning eyebrow and considered asking about their sudden closeness, considering how Jihoon was with touching other people, but he bit his tongue. Maybe Jeonghan-hyung could get him up to date with the gossip. He was always aware of Seungcheol’s every move, so he figured he had to be the perfect person to feed his curiosity.
As if on cue, Jeonghan made a beeline for the bean bag next to Hansol’s, and plopped down next to him.
“What are we watching, Hansol?”
“Hwayugi, hyung,” Hansol replied with a smile. Jeonghan flashed the cutest of smiles his way and then proceeded to fidget with Hansol’s hair, pulling it away from his face and fixing it so it was straight up instead of covering his eyes. This little action made Hansol blush immediately, not because he wasn’t used to it – Jeonghan was very, very tactile – but because it had felt a little intimate.
“I’m sorry, did I…” Jeonghan said, noticing the fact that Hansol’s cheeks had fired up immediately after his touch.
“N-no!” Hansol stuttered, and then got even more flustered. “It’s nothing; I’m just not used to this kind of attention? I mean, Seungkwan is very tactile with me as well, but I just… I wasn’t expecting that from you, hyung, that’s all.” He swallowed hard and thought his face was going to explode. But Jeonghan’s bright smile didn’t help matters, either. It was like looking straight at the sun.
Jeonghan’s smile was similar to staring at a cat that had found a new toy. It was mischievous, and open, and honest, and very, very charming. “Sorry about that!” He said soon after, fixing his bean bag so it resembled more a tiny bed. Then, he stretched his body out so his torso was placed on the bean bag, but his face was supported by Hansol’s right shoulder.
Hansol straightened up and fixed his body to accommodate the eldest, without a second thought as though why he was doing it. He just felt kind of honored that Jeonghan had selected him as a pillow for this occasion, so he ended up splayed on top of the beanbag, with Jeonghan’s head resting on top of his chest as a result.
The moment they had fixed their positions, he heard Jihoon mumble from the couch, “Are you guys ready? We want to press play.”
“Of course, hyung, we’re ready. I’m sorry.” Hansol said, blushing once again and, holy crap; was he going to keep doing that?
“Okay, then. Cheollie, can you press play?” Jihoon replied; tapping Seuncheol’s hip with his foot for emphasis. Seungcheol just smirked, looking intently at Hansol, and then turning towards the TV, doing as he was told.
Twenty minutes passed without incident until Hansol was reminded the reason why nobody watched TV with Jeonghan anymore. The elder member had a penchant for sleeping anywhere and everywhere, no matter the circumstance, and he tended to cling to his members in the process.
From kind of leaning into each other’s space, Hansol ended up completely splayed atop of a beanbag, with Jeonghan pressed tightly against him, his head on top of Hansol’s chest and arms wrapped around his neck. Hansol’s hands, with nowhere else to go but on Jeonghan’s general direction, were gently placed atop of Jeonghan’s back. If anyone were to tell him how couple-y they looked, Hansol would blush. But he felt incredibly comfortable and his chest filled with warmth whenever Jeonghan twitched in his grasp, or released a long breath with a mumble.
He was so comfortable, in fact, that he didn’t notice the knowing looks his hyungs were throwing in their direction, Jihoon’s smirk plastered on his face like he knew something the rest of them didn’t.
Seungcheol, on the other hand, was more subtle about it. So much so, that when the rest of the members came to the living room area after an hour or so to ask about food, he stood up silently, smiled at Hansol and left the room, asking for the rest of the boys to follow him.
The only person left behind after that brief encounter in the living room was Jisoo, who just smiled brightly at Hansol and asked if he was alright.
“Yeah, actually, I’m fine. He’s very light. I’m not uncomfortable at all.” Hansol replied, with a dopey smile that made Jisoo throw a very enigmatic look in his direction, only to follow the others towards the kitchen area to order some food.
For the time it took for Jeonghan to wake up, Hansol stayed practically still, while the only thing loud in the room was his heartbeat whenever the eldest muttered something incoherent in his sleep. Hansol couldn’t quite describe the fluttery feeling in his stomach, but to declare it uncomfortable or unwanted would’ve been an outright lie.
2.-
The second time Hansol figured he might have a crush on Jeonghan was during a certain week in which the elder was being kind of difficult. Not in the worst way, he was just clingy, and whiny, and he looked for attention in the weirdest of places sometimes. Every now and then, he’d have a fight with Seungcheol, who more often than not reminded him of the fact that he was one of the eldest of the group; he had to behave as such, for crying out loud.
But that was apparently the worst thing anyone could’ve said to him, because Jeonghan became irritable, and pushed people away when they tried to get him to talk. It was quite an ordeal, especially when it came to vocal practices that involved Jihoon telling them off.
Hansol had gone to Jisoo, asking for advice to deal with Jeonghan in this kind of situation, and what the other American had told him resonated with him very much.
“I have a feeling he’s lonely…” Jisoo started off, looking intently at Hansol and really considering his question, taking his time to formulate a response that not only would please the younger boy, but also would actually explain what he knew about Jeonghan’s feelings during these periods of ‘difficult behavior’. He was Jeonghan’s best friend for a reason, after all. “You know, Jeonghan can be a bit overwhelming with his love. You do know he has a bit of a complex, right? In a sense, he’s starved for attention. We have so much to do and there are so many of us, he doesn’t get the attention he often wants.” Jisoo had stated. “He also feels like… you know how we are in Korea, about the age gaps and people who are older than us. Well, I think that he instead of desiring ‘respect’, he… I think he just wants for people to actually like him. Like, for who he is. Not because he is older or cute or whatever, he just wants our affection, because he loves us.”
Hansol nodded, considering. Of course that made sense. In a way, Jeonghan’s mind functioned like the typical Korean boy, but in reality, most of his emotional interactions had been around Jisoo during their entire pre-debut stage. Jisoo was in fact born and raised as an American, so the way they treated each other was a lot more open, honest and tactile than the rest of the group. Of course certain people gravitated towards them naturally, like Seokmin, who just liked people in general, but when it came to the way Jisoo and Jeonghan treated each other, the rest of the members were just basically more reserved.
When Jisoo explained this to Hansol, he was taken aback for a second. Not because he was appalled or anything, but because he never thought of it that way. Emotionally, Jeonghan had a tendency to open himself up much more than the rest of the members, and usually, when he was rejected or called too intense, he simply shut down and denied the attempt had ever existed. That explained the constant mood-swings, the competitiveness and the need for attention. Jeonghan was just… well, to put it mildly, he just felt more strongly about things than anyone else did.
And Hansol was pretty sure he liked that, a lot. It was a characteristic previously unknown for him, and it made the older man more approachable and relatable. Hansol truly, honestly wanted to be Jeonghan’s friend. He wanted to get to know him more, but the age-gap thing was keeping him from doing so. It was a little bit overwhelming.
But if Jisoo hadn’t said all of that to him that day, Hansol wouldn’t have gathered the courage to invite Jeonghan for a coffee thirty minutes after the dance practice had been shut down because everyone was tired and a little bit testy.
When he approached the three older men – they tended to be with each other constantly, more often than not accompanied by Soonyoung and Jihoon – he saw that Seungcheol was animatedly talking about something and didn’t mean to interrupt, so he stood awkwardly to the side for a minute until the leader had stopped his story.
“What brings you here, Hansol?” The leader asked with a bright, mischievous glint to his eyes. He was wiping off sweat off his brow with a towel.
“I wanted to ask Jeonghan hyung to join me for coffee if he’s up to it,” Hansol said. He thought he had spoken quite bravely, but if his voice indeed trembled a little, the three older men didn’t comment on it.
“Really?” Jeonghan asked, a smile lighting up his entire face. “You wanted to buy me coffee?” He continued, “What’s the occasion?”
“I just noticed you had been… having a hard time this week. I wanted to do something nice for my hyung.” Hansol couldn’t help but blush and hoped that the older men thought of it as a consequence of the arduous dance practice and not embarrassment.
Seuncheol’s smile went into overdrive, gums showing and everything. “Is that so?” He said, placing a hand atop of Hansol’s head and ruffling the hairs that were plastered to his forehead because of his sweat. “That’s so nice of you, Hansol. We might even think you had a favorite hyung, now.” He teased.
Hansol sputtered “N-no! I mean, most of you guys are my hyungs, but I have no preference. I just wanted… I…”
Jisoo felt sorry for the guy and interrupted, “Don’t listen to Seungcheol. He’s jealous.” Then, he hit the older one in the arm lightly, for emphasis. “He’s used to us hanging out after practice, but I guess it’ll be the two of us today, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” Seungcheol relented. He turned towards Hansol and clapped him in the back, hard enough to make him grunt. “Have fun with Hannie.”
“T-thanks,” Hansol replied, not being able to hide his embarrassment as he saw the two retreating towards the exit, leaving him alone with Jeonghan.
“So… coffee, you said?” The older man quipped, a tight-lipped smile in place like he was waiting for Hansol to say it was a joke or something along those lines.
“Yes. And maybe a couple of pastries, I mean, we did do a lot of cardio today.”
“Oh, I want a cinnamon bun,” Jeonghan said, a hopeful, tiny smile showing, making his cheeks fill out and in consequence, Hansol’s heart skip a beat.
When they reached the café, Hansol kept to his word and ordered for Jeonghan, asking the eldest to sit down while he stood in the line and placed the order. It was a way to keep Jeonghan away, for Hansol to control the nervous jitters that were quickly becoming his way of being around Jeonghan, a feeling he couldn’t either shake nor get over. He took a series of deep breaths and smiled at the cashier, ordering an Ice Americano for Jeonghan, a cappuccino for himself and two cinnamon buns for each; in case Jeonghan got hungry and decided he wanted more.
He managed to control his nervousness once he reached the table Jeonghan had chosen, a lounge area near the exit that had the best view of the entire place. Hansol smiled at the selection and placed the cups in front of his hyung first, then retreated to get the cinnamon buns.
The conversation flowed just as Hansol had expected. He sat, smiling at Jeonghan, while the elder launched into a tale about how Jisoo and he made Seungcheol miserable during a flight since the leader had the misfortune of sitting smack dab in the middle of them.
Naturally, what Jeonghan and Jisoo tended to do during flights – smacking each other with tea bags -, had to be suffered by the leader as well, and that made the flight as unbearable as if it had been filled with crying babies and toddlers. Seungcheol, eventually, asked to change seats with Seokmin, just to catch a break from the evil twins.
By the end of the tale, Hansol had tears in his eyes, clapping away his hands like a seal because he couldn’t believe how hilarious Jeonghan and Jisoo were.
“I really wish I could be like you both. I mean, you balance each other out so well.” He interjected when Jeonghan had finished, dipping a piece of the cinnamon bun into his cup of coffee.
“Well, aren’t you that way with Seungkwannie?” Jeonghan asked, genuinely curious. “I mean, he adores you. And you have that aura about you, like a lost, sleepy puppy. You don’t talk much but let Seungkwan do all the talking. I think I’m just like that with Joshuji.”
Hansol smiled and replied, “Well, I mean, you do have a point. Seungkwan talks for the both of us sometimes. I guess I’m more alike Jisoo-hyung than I expected, because he seems so… I don’t know, so observant, I guess?” He said, for a lack of a better word. “But in the end, I just like people talking around me; I just don’t like joining in whenever I don’t have anything nice to say.”
“You know, I should probably try that,” Jeonghan said, a tiny laugh leaving his lips. “Sometimes I’m a bit impulsive and say whatever’s in my mind at the moment. I should try to be kinder, like you, Hansol.”
Hansol couldn’t help the blush that spread through his cheeks at the compliment, but he couldn’t let his hyung get self-deprecating either. “I mean, sure, hyung. But you’re so empathetic with everyone around you, too. You’re not selfish with your words or actions; you’re actually pretty thoughtful of what you say… except when you’re talking to the hyungs, but that’s… you know.” He laughed a little awkwardly, scratching at the back of his neck and sipping a bit more of coffee. “I’m the same with Seungkwan. It’s like we don’t have any filter around each other, but I guess that’s a good thing. You need to have a person you can be completely yourself with, right? I think that’s why you’re such good friends with Jisoo and Seungcheol-hyung.”
“You think so?” Jeonghan seemed to think about his next answer for a second, pondering. Hansol could see his brain working, that’s how transparent his hyung was sometimes. He was such an enigma, completely unreadable one second and transparent the next.
“You know, Hansol, sometimes I do wish I could be myself around all of you. And I’m not talking about filters or respect or even age differences. Sometimes I wish you maknaes came to me with your problems in a different way, not… expecting a scolding or a problem, just… to tell me about stuff that happens in your lives.”
“Well, I mean, you do know I’m shy, right?” Hansol quipped, making the older man burst out laughing, grabbing at one of his cinnamon buns and throwing it in his general direction. Hansol caught it and broke it into two pieces, throwing one of the pieces back towards Jeonghan. “I noticed you inhaled yours so I bought this one in case you wanted another one.”
The elder’s smile turned brighter and a bit mischievous. “I do know you’re shy, Hansol. So is Jisoo. But if there’s something I learned from hanging out with Jisoo, in particular, is that you shy-types always have something incredible up your sleeves.” And the man winked, and Hansol felt his entire body shake from the simple gesture.
It was later that night when they were returning to the dorms walking side by side in the cold night, that Hansol thought he was lucky to meet someone like Jeonghan. If it weren’t for Seventeen, they wouldn’t be friends. They wouldn’t even have met, probably, since he had been born in New York. And, remembering Jisoo’s words, he decided to voice this out loud.
Jeonghan’s face lit up like a Christmas tree at his statement, eyes scrunching up a little bit with the brightness of it.
“You honestly think you’re lucky to have met someone like me, Hansol?” Jeonghan asked; smile still intact though covered by his scarf. Hansol could hear it, though, in the musicality of his words and his tone.
“That’s exactly how I feel, hyung,” Hansol said, gravitating towards Jeonghan’s magnetic pull. He ended up just bumping shoulders with the other boy, walking side by side and hiding their faces from the cold winter night. “You’re… something else.”
Hansol hated the fact that he wasn’t articulate like Jisoo or even Seungcheol. He couldn’t voice this feeling he had every time he was with Jeonghan out loud, but he might as well convey it in other ways. So he took the leap and grabbed at the older man’s hand, entwining their fingers as they walked.
“I’m glad you’re my friend, Jeonghan.” He said; his voice clear and loud in the harsh and cold wind. So Jeonghan squeezed his hand tightly, bouncing his shoulder against his, and this… well, this had become one of Hansol’s favorite memories of winter, in spite of the cold.
3.-
Hansol had figured a couple things out:
Firstly, Jeonghan was a very loyal, trustworthy and a very, very loud friend, when he felt entitled to your attention.
And secondly, Jisoo was *always* with Jeonghan, which made it difficult to concentrate, which might or might not be counter-productive when they were supposedly working on a song.
The thing was, Jeonghan had approached Hansol with the project first. He’d said something along the lines of, “Joshuji and I are writing a song together and it has, like, a rap verse, and I need some help.” And honestly, Hansol would never back out from such a challenge. Jisoo was very good with words and he had helped write some verses for certain Vocal Unit songs, but this kind of project was completely different, so Hansol obviously retorted with the first thing he could think of that could possibly be of help for the pair.
“Have you spoken to Jihoon about it?”
“Of course I did, ‘Hansolie’.” The new nickname always took Hansol by surprise, and the fluttering of his heart immediately started, as if it were a Pavlovian response to Jeonghan’s presence at this point. “The thing is, Jihoonie immediately told me to come to you as a first choice. I didn’t want to bother you, because I know you’re enjoying the free time now that we’re not promoting, but Cheollie was too busy helping Chan out with a rap verse of his own, and I just…”
Hansol smiled brightly at his hyung and stopped his rambling short, “Hyung, I don’t mind. Actually, I’m glad you guys thought of me as a first choice, because now that Seungkwan is at Jeju with his mother I only hang out with Chan and Soonyoung, which isn’t bad but… I miss him.” Hansol finished, eyeing his phone that still had no messages from Seungkwan, even though they had been talking for half an hour non-stop before.
Jeonghan offered a sad smile at him and placed his hand on top of Hansol’s thigh, aiming for a reassuring gesture. Instead, Hansol’s inner turmoil picked up the pace, his heart hammering crazily against his ribcage while his head completely forgot why he was supposed to be sad about Seungkwan when Jeonghan was staring at him that way and he was right there, in front of him with a smile, bright eyes and an honest expression on his face.
“Hannie.” Jisoo interrupted Hansol’s stream of thoughts, entering the room that had the door ajar, just as Jeonghan had left it when he had barged in a couple minutes ago.
They were in the dorms, Hansol checking YouTube videos on his laptop and his phone next to him when Jeonghan had entered the room asking for his help. Now, Jisoo was in the room too, and Hansol felt a little out of air.
Truth be told, whenever either older men would crowd on him like this, he’d get even antsier. Jeonghan and Jisoo had a fame of being mischievous, and separate, they were like two completely different entities from their joint personas. You’d get whiplash if you ever went from being alone with one of them to both of them in the same room with you. Now, he understood Seungcheol completely. His aversion towards having to share a room with the two men was completely justified.
“Oh, am I interrupting?” Jisoo asked, with a smirk in place. Jeonghan laughed out loud at that, removing his hand from Hansol’s thigh and opting instead for placing it around his waist to pull him closer.
“Nah, we’re good if you want to watch, Shua.” The older man said, and Hansol felt his entire face catch fire at the not-so-subtle implication.
“Jesus, you’re so dirty. You’re gonna gross Hansol out if you keep that up.”
“Hansol-ah loves me,” Jeonghan said; a confident statement emphasized by his tightening grip on Hansol’s waist. “Don’t you?” And turned to face Hansol, their bodies inches apart. Hansol just nodded red in the face for the entire room to see. He really was in deep trouble.
After that little confrontation, Hansol managed to ask both Jeonghan and Jisoo to move the activities somewhere else fitting, like the practice room. Together they took Hansol’s laptop and Jisoo’s pen-drive with the track to start working in the rap.
Sitting together, facing his laptop, Hansol found himself wondering how the hell he ended up in the middle of both Jisoo’s and Jeonghan’s undivided attention. Both boys had been talking and teasing non-stop, explaining to Hansol how they managed to get past Jihoon’s assignments for writing the song on their own, but weren’t able to deal with the rap part without feeling that something was missing. As soon as they reached the subject, Hansol had a thought.
“Why don’t you both show me your ideas and I can help you out with the flow and line progression?”
That got them distracted for a while. Jisoo went first, and Hansol was pretty impressed with the fact that, contrary to Jeonghan’s claims, Jisoo’s part didn’t need any kind of work whatsoever.
“It’s pretty good, actually. It’s got a good flow, the words rhyme and your pronunciation doesn’t suffer because you’re trying to be quick. Actually, I think this whole line could be divided between you two because it’s fantastic. Who wrote this?” Hansol asked.
Jisoo smiled brightly. “We both did. I mean, I helped a lot more than Jeonghan…” Jisoo stopped when the elder punched him playfully on his shoulder. “But we managed to do it ourselves. What do you think? Do you want to hear the rest?”
“Of course,” Hansol replied with a bright, gummy smile. Jeonghan turned to Jisoo and pointed at Hansol, saying: “You managed to get a gummy smile from him, now it’s my turn. Come on, Hansolie, hear me rap.”
And so the older imitated Hansol’s rap verse in Pretty U, earning a full-body laugh and a couple of seal-claps from both American boys.
Xxxx
After a couple of weeks, he found himself sitting next to Jihoon in the recording studio, “supervising” his hyungs because he had “helped them improve on their flow when they practiced together”.
Jisoo entered the studio first, so he was sharing, once again, a sofa with Yoon Jeonghan. And as the elder man tended to do, he ended up sharing his entire space with him, Jeonghan having both legs perched atop of Hansol’s.
As this was a typical occurrence, Hansol tended to place his hands on top of Jeonghan’s thighs and started to massage him out of habit. He did this with Seungkwan too, and one time he had been caught by Seungkwan doing it, and Seungkwan had gotten livid.
“How come you’re doing the same things you used to do with me with hyung now?”
“Well, we grew closer together when you were off at Jeju. Plus, he’s not replacing you, Kwannie. You cannot be jealous of him. It’s not the same…”
“What? How is it not the same?”
“Well, Jeonghan makes me a little anxious.”
“And how is that good?”
“It’s not the bad type of anxious, Kwannie.”
“…Oh.” Seungkwan had said, his brain working in overdrive. When he reached the most obvious conclusion, his entire face contorted into a mischievous smile. “So Seungcheol-hyung was right, wasn’t he?”
“Wait, what did you say about Seungcheol?”
“Nothing, you’ll get there at some point.”
And that was that.
Seungkwan had left Hansol’s head reeling. What did Seungcheol-hyung know? He supposed that he had to have some thoughts about his relationship with Jeonghan, now that they had gone for coffee together a couple more times since the first time when he basically had to ask for his hyung’s permission. Each time, though, Seungcheol had worn a pretty interesting face, and Hansol had wondered what that could mean. Now, the only person left to ask that could actually grant him an answer was Jihoon.
But talking to Jihoon about personal matters had been known to be difficult, no matter how close you might get to him. So he decided to breach the subject after Jisoo was done and Jeonghan was in the studio, running his lines but not recording.
“Hyung?” He asked, timidly. Jihoon turned around in his chair and arched a brow. Hansol supposed that sufficed as an answer.
“What-- what is it about my relationship with Jeonghan that you guys find so… funny?”
Jihoon seemed to be caught off-guard by his question, so he signaled Jeonghan to do another run and took his earphones off to give Hansol his full attention.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…” The fact that Jihoon had gotten so serious intimidated him a bit, but his curiosity outweighed his fear. “Seungkwan told me that Seungcheol-hyung had said something about me and Jeonghan and I was… just very curious about what’s being said.” He started. “Also, I know the way you guys look at me whenever I ask him for coffee. It’s as if you know that there’s something off, but you refuse to tell me.”
“Oh, Hansol. Well, usually you’re lost in space but this goes far beyond that, doesn’t it?” Jihoon said, and the comment stung a bit, but Hansol could take the blow if it meant getting an answer.
“You’ve been dating Jeonghan for a month, Hansol. He’s got you wrapped in his little finger for an entire month and you haven’t figured it out yet.”
Hansol felt his face grow hot and tried to hide it with his hand, because what Jihoon had said made perfect, absolute sense.
He had been finding himself having so much alone time with Jeonghan lately, that he wondered if he and Jisoo had gotten into a fight, but maybe it was all Jeonghan’s doing. Maybe Jeonghan had caught up to Hansol’s little jitters around him and figured he was developing a crush. Or maybe he could be doing all of this to mess with him, and he wouldn’t put it past Jeonghan if it weren’t for the fact that the elder seemed to genuinely enjoy his company lately.
God, this was a mess.
“Do you think he… he actually likes me back, Jihoon?” The producer scoffed, turned back around and placed his earphones on top of his head once again.
“What’s that expression people in the US use to refer to a person who is so infatuated he doesn’t even realize?” Jihoon asked, throwing Hansol for a loop.
“Whipped.” He replied, quickly and without thinking.
At that, Jihoon scoffed again. “Yes, Hansol, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re definitely whipped.”
1.-
“Hansol-ah! What the hell happened? One minute you were dancing and the next I saw you needing Junhui’s help to walk, is your ankle okay?” Hansol wasn’t really able to reply to Jeonghan’s concerned shouts though, for he was being carried by Junhui to the most comfortable chair they had in the backstage.
“Thank you, Junnie.” He said first, and then continued. “I think I might’ve broken my ankle?”
Hansol saw how the entire atmosphere in the room changed to one of sheer panic. They were in their second day of the tour for the Ideal Cut concert, and the fact that Hansol had broken a bone meant that he wouldn’t be able to perform most of their stages. It was always a mess when someone got sick, but this was far worse, especially considering the rehabilitation period and how broken bones worked, and the fact that they had planned to surprise their fans with the comeback announcement during the last day of the concert. The comeback was set for the next two weeks, and that meant they had to enter the promotion circuit, performing in music shows and such, and Hansol couldn’t dance.
Before panicking, though, Hansol tried to reassure Seungkwan, who was angry crying at his side and clutching his right hand. “You told me it wasn’t serious!” He bawled, and Hansol felt really bad for the guy, but honestly, his ankle was killing him, so instead, he chose to be blunt.
“Kwannie, I didn’t tell you much because you worry enough for the both of us. Please, stop crying, I’m fine, I promise. I just really need an ambulance because when I move my ankle it hurts so much I feel like I wanna puke.”
Seungcheol was already on it, though. He had been searching for his phone inside his duffle bag and was already talking to the 911 operator about a possible fracture during a concert. Telling them to be discreet, he ended the call and nodded, telling Hansol not to worry about that.
Meanwhile, Jisoo was trying to calm down Chan, who at the mention of a possible broken bone, had paled considerably and was trying not to worry his hyungs. Jeonghan had been standing at the sidelines this entire time, trying to see how to deal with the damage control, but when he saw Hansol wince over the death-grip Seungkwan had on his right hand, he spurred into action. Calmly, he strolled towards them, placing a calming hand atop of Seungkwan’s shoulder.
“Kwannie?” He said, his voice sweet and marked with gentle concern. “We’re all very concerned about Hansolie here, but if you keep grabbing him that hard, he’ll have more to worry about than a broken ankle, you’re about to break his hand in half. Please, let him go and breathe, alright?”
Seungkwan nodded sharply, wiping his tears furiously with the hand that had just released Hansol’s. The younger boy risked a glance at his hyung, who was staring back at him with gentleness in his gaze that made his heart melt a little.
“Thank you, Jeonghan-hyung.” He said, a little stiffly because the pain had receded for a while when he was distracted trying to calm down Seungkwan, but it had returned tenfold once he thought about his ankle again. This put Jeonghan on high alert once again, because he kneeled on the floor in front of his hurt ankle and stayed there for about thirty seconds before muttering, “I think we’re better off if we remove your shoe, because your feet is going to get swollen. Do you think you can handle that, Hansol-ah? Should we do it or wait for the paramedics? CHEOLLIE! – Oh, sorry, there you are. Cheollie, how long until the paramedics get here? I’m getting antsy, Hansol seems to be in a lot of pain right now and I just can’t seem to…”
“Hyung?” Minghao said, timidly. He was clutching a water bottle and his fist was wrapped around something else nobody could see. “I know you’re worried. Maybe we can give Hansol a pill to deal with the pain?” And he opened his fist and a green, little tablet was sitting in the middle of his hand.
“Is that ibuprofen?” Jeonghan asked. “Yes. Alright, how much is that?”
“Around 200mg,” Minghao replied swiftly.
“That’s not much at all, so if we give him that now, when the paramedics arrive they can give him something stronger and he won’t end up over-medicated. Alright, Hansolie, what do you think?” Jeonghan asked, keeping eye contact with Hansol the entire time. Hansol saw how worried he was and felt his heart warm up a little, but the pain was numbing everything else he might be feeling at the moment.
Hansol nodded, his forehead caked in sweat, both from the pain and the concert. That already seemed like a distant memory. Minghao handed Hansol the little pill and the water bottle, and Jeonghan remained glued to the floor, still, wondering if the removal of Hansol’s shoe helped matters or would make everything worse. Hansol thanked the Chinese man and Minghao swiftly left for the makeup trailer.
Seungkwan didn’t leave Hansol’s side during this exchange, but his face had changed from extreme concern to something a little bit warmer, while he saw Jeonghan freaking out. He smiled a little at Hansol and asked for a staff member to bring him a towel.
“Jeonghan hyung?” Seungkwan said after a concerned staff member handed him a clean towel from the makeup trailer. “You can help him clean off a little, he’s too sweaty”.
Jeonghan looked up, staring at Seungkwan with a worried and overwhelmed expression on his face. Seungkwan nodded and handed him the towel, making a gesture for Jeonghan to use his seat while he looked for another one, leaving them as alone as they could be with 20 staff members wandering around and 10 other members hovering, keeping Mingyu away from the injured party in case he tripped, which he did too often.
The elder sat next to Hansol and patted him gently on the forehead, seeing how the makeup would come off Hansol’s face and smear the towel. Then, an idea struck him and he asked for makeup remover from the wandering staff, who had already offered Hansol water, food and fresh air in rapid succession while they paced nervously around the tent. The poor women were concerned out of their minds as well.
“Thank you, noona,” Jeonghan said; grabbing a wipe from the packet he had been handed. Shortly after, he had started removing Hansol’s makeup in swift, soft strokes all around his face to his neck, and Hansol couldn’t help but blush and smile at the older man, who seemed both truly concerned and incredibly nervous for his safety.
“You’re… Thank you, hyung. You’re very sweet.” He said, his voice dripping with honesty and true gratitude for his company.
At this, Jeonghan blushed. It was the first time Hansol had seen such a thing, Jeonghan never got flustered – he was used to be the one who flustered others -, so this was entirely new and uncharted territory for Hansol.
“Oh, this? I’m only doing it because I don’t want the nurses at the hospital to faint because of your good looks. Though without makeup you’re just as handsome, but…” Jeonghan shrugged and stopped patting Hansol’s face with the makeup remover, because what was left to clean up was his lip tint, and, well. That seemed a little too intimate. So Hansol took the wipe from Jeonghan’s hand, brushing it tenderly but unintentionally, and removed his own lip tint, discarding the wipe soon after, throwing it towards the general direction of the trash can.
A beat passed, and they both stared at each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. Hansol had thought of Jeonghan’s beauty before, but right now, the older was sweaty, with bits of hair plastered to his forehead and makeup running down his neck, and Hansol once again swore he had never seen anyone as beautiful as Yoon Jeonghan in his life. The man had big, expressive eyes, a perfectly-shaped round mouth and a nose that seemed carved by the best sculptors. It wasn’t fair, honestly, how the rest of the universe didn’t stop for a beat and stared long and hard at Yoon Jeonghan just to appreciate how beautiful he was, because man, were they missing out.
At that moment, Hansol felt really strongly how lucky he was to be able to share such an intimate moment with the other man. He wasn’t entirely sure if Jeonghan felt the same way, but as he continued to stare at him for at least another thirty seconds, Hansol decided it was time to take a leap of faith and show Jeonghan just how much he meant to him.
So he placed a gentle hand on the other man’s right cheek, removing a splotchy piece of concealer that had formed there because of his sweat with his thumb. Hansol smiled, tenderly, the pain long forgotten thanks to both the pill that had started to take effect and Jeonghan’s presence, which was distracting enough.
Jeonghan, to Hansol’s surprise, returned the gesture, placing his own hand on top of Hansol’s opposing cheek, swiping his thumb across his lips in a tender but a calculated gesture. Jeonghan’s free hand cupped Hansol’s hand on his own cheek.
The moment was broken when they heard a muted siren in the background, and Jeonghan smiled sadly at Hansol and showed him his thumb. He had removed a stray blotch of lip tint he had missed with the makeup remover. Hansol did the same thing, showing the splotchy concealer, and Jeonghan laughed a little and winked at him.
“I think we might have to talk about something soon enough, but I’d rather you recovered first because I really want you to keep up with our promotion schedule. Don’t forget we have a comeback planned.” Jeonghan said and surprised Hansol once again by placing a tender kiss on his forehead, retreating to look for Seungcheol soon after, not before patting his head and messing with his hair.
Hansol sat there, heart hammering against his ribcage, face burning. He remained seated, looking at the elder’s retreating frame and wondering how the hell he ended up in this mess until a paramedic interrupted his reverie and asked if he wanted to be carried or if he could walk on one foot to the ambulance.
2.-
Time had passed as a whirlwind after the days that followed the concert. They only had two weeks to prepare for their comeback, and though the doctor had told Hansol in a very cheerful manner that he had gotten better remarkably fast and he was healing at a very impressive rate, he had been stuck with some rehabilitation and a ban from dancing entire choreographies at least until they did the showcase to prevent a relapse.
So, naturally, he didn’t have time to have that “talk” with Jeonghan between Soonyoung being a hovering mother-hen, taking care of him so he didn’t hurt himself again, Seungcheol asking him if he needed anything every twenty minutes and Seungkwan insisting on accompanying him everywhere just to make sure he was safe.
Of course, he was thankful for all of their attention, but sometimes it got to be too much, and at one point he had asked Seungcheol if he could have some time to himself after practice and some rehabilitating exercises, which the eldest he had granted reluctantly after sending a hurried text.
“I’m letting you have this just because Jeonghan has been pestering me non-stop about your bodyguards, but you’re gonna have to make this up to me later, Hansol.” He said, and removed himself from the practice room, closing the door after himself.
Hansol sat alone, for the first time in almost two weeks, for five solid minutes until he heard a timid knock on the door.
He started, muttering a flustered “Come in!” and sat upright. The person who had knocked of course had been Jeonghan, and Hansol assumed that’s the person Seungcheol had texted. He briefly wondered if he had just changed shifts with Jeonghan, rotating their care so he didn’t feel too coddled, but he let it go once he saw how embarrassed the elder looked to be interrupting his anticipated alone time.
“Hi”. Jeonghan said; his cheeks pink and a timid smile on his lips. “I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I just… It’s not exactly easy getting you alone these days.”
Hansol bit back a toothy grin and instead nodded. He felt the tension in the room peak, the atmosphere changing and he was nervous. He knew he had to talk to Jeonghan, he had been thinking about it since his brief stay at the hospital, but their lives were too hectic and he kept just putting it in the back of his mind for now.
He also wanted to congratulate him on his solo stage at the concert. That was another ‘surprise’ Jeonghan had given him, to be honest. Jeonghan had always struggled with his position inside the group, he had told Hansol as much during this past couple of months in which they were sharing more time together. But Hansol tried to reassure him, insisting that everyone might feel like 13 members in a group was too much, but in the case of Seventeen, if there’s one missing, it’s like a black hole.
In the past, the older man had struggled with his vocal ability. He was a slow learner and had slightly noticeable pitch problems, but he was also incredibly dedicated and worked hard to improve himself, even though he had trouble coping and felt inferior to other members. He also struggled with choreography at times, claiming it to be too hard or too exhausting, but when nobody was watching and the rest of the group were already at the dorms, Jeonghan had spent entire sleepless night in the dance studio, practicing that particularly challenging piece of choreography.
Hansol also knew for a fact that he helped Jisoo with choreo a lot. Jisoo was a lot more confident, but the truth was that he was the one who struggled the most with choreography, and Jeonghan had always lent him a hand whenever he was in need. More often than not Seungcheol noticed both of his friend’s absence, shrugged and told the rest of the group to stay away from the practice room if they could avoid it.
So, for Hansol, to see Jeonghan exude not only sex-appeal but also confidence, vocal ability, and physical abilities with a choreo that required him to be on the floor most of the time, was such an improvement. Jeonghan had struggled and fought tooth and nail to earn his spot in the group, to stand out and build an image. He was so different from the little insecurities he had claimed to have during all these years. Hansol was incredibly proud.
Remembering he had saved up all of his praise for the moment they were alone, Hansol told Jeonghan how he felt about his solo stage. “I wanted to congratulate you on your solo stage, hyung.” He started. He couldn’t be entirely honest, though, because that would change the atmosphere again, but truth be told, the man took Hansol’s breath away. His movements were delicate, soft, and almost androgynous in nature. His hands moved and flowed naturally, his facial expressions conveying a passion and desire he had never seen before. “It was incredible. You looked like so much more than an idol. I just… I couldn’t take my eyes off you, to be honest.” And he smiled and shrugged, scratching at the back of his head while trying to keep his blushing cheeks on check.
Jeonghan beamed at him, a tiny, pleased laugh leaving his rosy lips. “Thank you, Hansolie.” He said, stepping a bit closer. “How’s your ankle? Soonyoung told me he had been working on a bit of stretching after practice, did you do those today?”
Hansol shook his head no. “I haven’t actually. I was in such a hurry to be alone that I completely forgot.” He stood up and walked closer to the older man. “Do you mind helping me with some of them? I can’t do them all by myself.”
“Of course not, let’s do it.” Jeonghan seated on the floor and Hansol followed suit, stretching his legs and pointing his toes towards Jeonghan for the elder to grab his foot. Jeonghan did, and Hansol asked him to twist his feet slightly, clockwise.
They spent all of the time stretching exchanging a few words of encouragement, but the atmosphere changed gradually and became amicable after a while. Hansol had felt really tense, and that wasn’t what he was supposed to feel when he was with Jeonghan. The older man made him feel at peace and content, not at a loss for words and stressed out because of his presence. So, when they were done with the stretching, Jeonghan took him out of his thoughts to proclaim he had brought food.
“Nothing too fancy, I just grabbed some fruits because I thought you’d need a bit of sustenance after practice.” And he grabbed the bag he had been carrying when he entered the room and took out two containers, one with green melon and the other with fresh blueberries.
They ate facing each other; Jeonghan launching into a story that took place directly after Hansol was admitted to the hospital. They had to wait outside for a long time, and Mingyu was so antsy he had run into a street lamp right before they had asked him to stop pacing. That had taken the edge off most of the elders, especially after receiving a reassuring text from Seungkwan that told them Hansol didn’t break a bone but had gotten his ankle seriously sprained.
Hansol actually didn’t laugh much after the story. He was still feeling quite guilty when he had been the one talking about their health all along. “I mean, I was the one who was recorded saying we should keep healthy so we could enjoy the concert to the fullest…” He said, smiling a bit sadly. At this, Jeonghan stood up and sat right next to him, placing a hand on his back.
“It could’ve happened to literally any of us. We were too excited at the end of the concert. You know how Seungcheol gets; he has this drunken vibe about him when he performs. One of these days, I tell you, he’s gonna topple off the stage in one of his overly-exaggerated dances and then you won’t be the only one feeling like a fool.”
This did get a laugh out of him, and Jeonghan returned it with a full smile, right before he decided to hold Hansol’s right hand in his.
A beat passed, Jeonghan leaning one side of his body on Hansol’s, making sure it was the right side and not the one that was injured. After a minute or two of comfortable silence, Jeonghan decided to get to the point of him being there.
“You do know why I’m here, right?”
Hansol felt his heart starting to pick up its pace, but nodded, thinking this couldn’t be avoided any longer.
“The rest of the guys have been telling me that I’m taking advantage of your innocence or some of that nonsense. I know they mean well and most of them are joking, but I have to ask you something, Hansol.”
Hansol nodded again, and Jeonghan felt the hand he was holding had started to shake a bit.
“Do you like me?”
Hansol felt his face go numb with embarrassment, but nodded, enthusiastically this time, trying not to break eye-contact with his hyung.
“They’ve also told me we’ve been dating for a couple of months, though I… honestly hadn’t seen it that way until they pointed it out. So, what do you think? Have we been dating, Hansol?” Jeonghan tried to lighten the mood by nudging Hansol slightly with his shoulder.
Hansol, this time, shrugged. He tried to find his words and was painfully aware of how dry his throat felt. “Not technically, no. Jihoon said the same thing to me, but I… I mean, dating includes a lot more touching. We’re just hanging out alone a lot more.” He said, gesturing a bit with his free hand. By now, Jeonghan knew this meant he was nervous.
Jeonghan’s grip on Hansol’s hand tightened, and he intertwined his fingers with Hansol’s. “So, anyway, Hansolie…” He took a deep breath and held himself upright, facing the youngest. “I wanted to let you know that I do like you, too. And I didn’t feel comfortable with this dancing around each other thing we’ve been doing so I just want to keep the record straight. If you want to date, let’s do it. But honestly…” And at this, it was Jeonghan’s cheeks that turned red. “I wouldn’t mind if there was a lot more touching involved in our dates, if that’s okay with you.” Jeonghan let out a breathy laugh, breaking eye contact for a moment and then returning Hansol’s gaze, earnestly.
Hansol, meanwhile, had felt his face grow redder and redder by the second but felt his head start moving as if of its own accord, nodding enthusiastically. He didn’t know what to do when Jeonghan was like this, all up in his space and looking at him with such a glint in his eyes, so he maintained the eye contact until he felt the tension rise, seeing how the older boy had started to fix his gaze on his lips. Hansol had just noticed his fixed gaze, but the eldest had already closed the distance between them planting a chaste, sweet kiss on his lips.
When Hansol felt Jeonghan’s lips on his own, his first instinct was to release Jeonghan’s hand and place both of his on the back of the elder’s neck, one caressing the back of his neck and the other venturing upwards, towards his hair. After a moment, he let him go, and Jeonghan backed away with a shy smile on his face. This made Hansol release a small grunt and grab his cheeks, kissing him again, this time a bit more forcefully.
Jeonghan muffled a laugh against Hansol’s lips, but returned the kiss, grabbing back at Hansol’s cheeks and deepening it gradually until he felt the younger boy’s resolve leave him and become pliant in his hands.
Of course, Hansol was this responsive. He was going to have so much fun with him. They pulled apart after another moment, both panting a bit.
“You are so… much.” Hansol muttered, his smile bright, toothy, gums showing.
“And so are you. I hope you’re ready because dating Yoon Jeonghan is not an easy feat.” Jeonghan joked, smiling at him openly and brightly.
“I’m up for the challenge, hyung.” Hansol replied, his smile growing brighter by the second. Jeonghan grabbed at his hand again, lifting it towards his lips and kissing it gently.
“Call me Jeonghan, please.” And at the smile that Jeonghan threw at him at that moment, Hansol couldn’t help but go for a third kiss.