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Letters To My Past Self

Summary:

Mimi's been through a tough time since her husband cheated on her and she carted herself and her son back to Japan but Joe and his wife have been there to help every step of the way. Mimi just wishes she could get rid of her unwelcome feelings for her old friend.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

It had been a long few months for Mimi. The divorce had taken more out of her than she’d expected and when she first planned to move back to Japan, she’d had no idea of how she was going to afford it, especially with a baby.

Joe and his wife, Mika had immediately offered to take them in and Mimi had never been more grateful to know such wonderful people. Her other friends had made similar offers but Joe and Mika were the ones with a proper spare room for her and her son. They’d told her they could stay as long as they needed.

When she’d first moved in with them, she’d been so withdrawn that her friends almost didn’t recognize her but Joe especially had done his best to line up quips that she’d have grabbed in a heartbeat before. She appreciated how much he was trying to help her get back to her old self. Even if it felt like that old self would never properly come back after being broken so thoroughly.

Mimi tried to get part time jobs to help pay the upkeep and feel less useless but it was tough to be a single mom even with all the help she was getting. She just wished there was more she could do to thank them, especially considering the inappropriate feelings that had been chasing her since Joe opened his arms on that first day at the airport and allowed her to let out all of her tears despite being in the middle of a crowd.

Mimi gave a sigh from her seat in the garden as she looked up at the moon. She would never say these feelings out loud; Both Joe and Mika had done so much for her and she would never want to ruin the friendship between the three of them. Mika was such a lovely and kind woman; she deserved Joe just as much as Joe deserved someone as wonderful as her. She just wished she could have what they had. Maybe she didn’t deserve it…

She gave another loud sigh and a voice piped up, “That was a big one.”

Mimi sat up quickly in her seat and turned to see Joe walk into the garden, two glasses of something cool in his hands.

“Hey Joe,” she greeted weakly, watching as Joe puttered down the steps and into the seat next to her before he handed over one of the glasses.

“Here, Mika made a Smoothie when she saw you were down tonight.”

Mimi felt a flash of guilt in her stomach but did her best to quash the feeling as she reached out to take the drink, “Thank you, that was kind of her.”

She lifted the glass to her lips and took a sip, the sweet fruity mix a refreshing taste in the warm night air. She turned back to the moon and let quiet overcome them once more, the occasional sipping sound the only disturbance on the quiet evening.

“So,” said Joe eventually, “What’s up? You seem down tonight; more so than usual…Do you want to talk about it?”

Mimi was quiet for a moment and took another sip of her drink but Joe was patient and made no move to hurry her as she tried to muddle her thoughts together.

“I guess, it just feels like I’m never going to find happiness again…” she muttered, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Of course you will,” insisted Joe in his quiet but reassuring way that made Mimi’s heart pound even more, “You’re sad right now but over time you’ll heal and get back out there and find a life that was way better than the one you had with him.”

Mimi frowned, knowing that Joe was right. It didn’t stop the pain when she thought back to how happy she’d thought she was. “I just keep seeing that moment in my mind,” she admitted, remembering the moment when everything had fallen apart, “when I walked into his office and saw that woman in his lap…”

She could still remember the few moments before he’d noticed she had walked in, where his hands were all over the woman as he kissed her neck. There was no doubt that he wanted that woman; it was in every inch of his body language.

Mimi could still feel the exact second her heart broke, seeing her husband and father to her son, all over another woman.

“Maybe I did something to deserve it…” she whispered, trying to ignore the tears that were building up in her eyes, “Maybe I’m just not loveable enough…”

“Don’t say that Mimi! Don’t ever say that!”

Mimi’s head snapped to Joe, unable to believe the harshness of his tone as he stared at her. “Don’t let the actions of one prick determine your self worth. You did nothing to deserve it; he’s just a horrible man who didn’t deserve someone as amazing as you.”

Mimi couldn’t help the disbelieving snort/sob that came out of her mouth and Joe’s frown seemed to deepen as he added, “You are amazing Mimi! You light other people up in a way that I’ve never seen anyone do and you care more about people than anyone I’ve ever met. And you’re not unloveable! Hell, even I had a crush on you when we were younger.”

Mimi’s eyes widened, unable to stop the tears that dribbled out at Joe’s admission. He had loved her once… If she’d been more aware, or more open when she was younger then she could be in Mika’s place right now. She could be truly happy with a man who would give her the world if she asked him to.

“Mimi, please don’t let one person extinguish your light. There are so many people who love you; you have no idea! And we’re all here to help you get through this…okay?”

Mimi tried to wipe away her tears as she nodded, “Th…Thank you Joe.”

Joe gave a supportive smile and Mimi tried not to let her sobs grow, instead electing to ask, “Would you be alright to look after Daniel? I’d like to go and visit Palmon for a bit.”

“Of course we can,” he replied quickly, “We’re always happy to look after him.”

--

“Oh Palmon, I’ve ruined my life!” she sobbed to the crowd of Digimon who’d all been together when she found them, “If only I could go back and tell myself to appreciate what I didn’t realise was next to me the whole time!”

“Oh Mimi,” soothed Palmon, rubbing her hand on Mimi’s back, not knowing what to say.

“If Sora were here,” interjected Biyomon matter-o-factly, “She’d say you shouldn’t wish away love.”

“It wasn’t love!” exclaimed Mimi, half screaming, “It was a mistake!”

“Even Daniel?” asked Patamon gently.

Mimi paused her sobbing, sniffling away as she thought of her baby boy, her pride and joy, her main reason for carrying on. “No…” she admitted, “He wasn’t a mistake.”

“I just…” she started, sniffling once more, “I just wish I could go back and tell myself to wake up and see what an amazing person was there the whole time instead of realizing it when it’s too late to do anything about it…”

“Then do it,” replied Palmon, as though Mimi hadn’t suggested something crazy.

“Huh?”

“Write a letter to your past self,” she explained, as though the answer was obvious, “And send it through the portal”

“I can write to my past self?” she asked, unable to believe that what Palmon was saying was true.

“Well, strictly speaking it’s not your past self as much as it is an alternative version of your past self,” explained Tentomon, “Your present won’t change but the act of sending a letter to the past may affect an alternate version of your younger self, leading to a different future in an alternate world.”

Mimi felt herself deflate a little, understanding what Tentomon was getting at. Nothing would change for her but out there in some other universe, she might be able to change things so that she had a different future to the one she was in right now. Nothing would change, and maybe, she realized, thinking of Daniel, that was for the best. But she still wanted her past self to have a chance at true happiness.

“So…how does this work?”

--

Mimi stood at a stone well that looked like it belonged in way back in the past, a letter in her hand and the Digimon crowding supportively around her.

“So you’re sure the letter will get to me?” she asked, glancing once more at her name on the front and the time and date she wanted it sent to.

“We’re sure,” insisted Palmon.

Mimi looked at the letter one last time, bringing it up to her lips to kiss it for good luck. Once this letter went through the portal, that was it, she would have no idea whether it would ever reach her in an alternate universe or whether it would make any difference. This would have to be her closure and she knew it. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life mooning over a life that never was. She needed to concentrate on getting back to being who she was, she needed to concentrate on raising her son and she needed to find a new life for herself, and maybe even someone new to love.

She sighed and held the letter above the well before she dropped it in and watched it disappear into the darkness, “I hope your life is everything you deserve Mimi Tachikawa…”

--

A letter flickered through the evening light of the digital world, drifting in the wind yet having a clear destination in mind as it headed towards a campfire that was burning steadily in the darkness.

“Dear Mimi Tachikawa, Age 9

I know you’re scared right now; trapped in the digital world with no way of knowing how you are going to get home but I want you to know that everything works out in the end. There will be sad times and hard times but you have people around you to help you through.

This is a letter from your future self; 26 years old. I want you to know that there are people around you who don’t mean much to you right now; they all seem weird and uncool and unfashionable but they are the best friends you will ever have in the world. But there’s one friend in particular who is always there when you need him and I regret never having treasured him like he deserved to be…”

The letter flew over several sleeping forms until it landed gently next to a young girl in a pink dress, lying on the floor. The letter tucked itself into the crook of her arm and ceased to move; now truly no more than a normal letter. It’s landing made Mimi grumble in her sleep though, quickly wriggling until she had turned over to sleep on her other side, now facing an older boy with dark blue hair, his glasses askew from where he’d tried to stay awake to keep watch and hadn’t taken them off.

“Please Mimi, take care of him. Take care of my good old reliable…

“Joe…” mumbled Mimi in her sleep

“…Joe.

All my love,

Mimi Tachikawa. Age 26.”

Notes:

This is the last prompt of Jyoumi Week. I wish i'd worked on this prompt a bit longer but it still gets most of what I was trying to get across which was a bittersweet taste that life doesn't always go the way you wanted it to. It's a bit of a crossover with Orange as well (in terms of the letters to your past self).

I've had a blast writing all these prompts and I hope people have enjoyed reading them. If nothing else it means there's just a bit more content out there for anyone else who like this pairing as I do. Thank you so much to Jyoumi feels for arranging the whole week on Tumblr as without that, none of this would have been written. And thank you to all the others who've participated as well; this pairing is a favourite of mine and it's fun to get to see how others portray the pairing.

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