Work Text:
When it rains, it pours.
Maura clicks off her digital recorder and powers her cell phone back on, expecting to see the usual texts from Jane and Mae, letting her know they are home, safe, fed, etc.
Instead, her phone buzzes and buzzes with incoming voicemails, six in all, and Maura has to focus on steadying her hands to pick up her phone.
They are all from Jane.
Maura skips the first five and presses play on the last one.
“Hey,” Jane’s voice says into her ear. She sounds calm, if weary, and Maura lets this fact ease some of her panic.
“I’m back at the house, Frost just left. TJ’s got a big bruise on his side, but he fell asleep in the car, and his breathing is okay, so I think if you could look at it in the morning, that would be great. I know you’re probably in an autop-”
Maura cuts this one off and goes to the third message, which is only ten seconds long.
"Hi, Maura, Frost just got to the house, and I'm on my way to Tommy & Lydia's. I'll update you as soon as I know anything. I love you."
Maura frowns at this message. It has left her more confused than before. She sighs, and presses play on message one, the longest of them all.
"Hi Maura, I just got a call from Lydia that Tommy fell off the wagon...again. Mae just went down, so I'm calling Frost to come and be with her while I go over there. I really think I need to go. I, uh, could hear him screaming in the background, and with TJ not being a baby anymore I just...I think it's probably better if I go and make sure everything is okay. I - he - you know... Tommy hasn't relapsed since TJ was a toddler, and I-" Jane breaks off abruptly for a second. "That's Lydia's number," she says to Maura's voicemail. "I'm gonna get it. I'll call you back."
The message ends, and Maura grabs her purse and coat and heads towards the door, pulling up voicemail number two and pressing the phone to her ear as she heads down the hall.
“That was TJ in tears.” Jane’s voice is strained. “I’m going to leave as soon as Frost gets here. I’ll let you know.”
Maura pulls out of her parking space and into traffic, sure now that there is no immediate emergency, but still eager to get home. She pushes the door open just as her phone starts to buzz again, and instead of answering she calls out.
“Jane? I’m home?”
Her phone stops its vibration and Jane appears at the end of the hall. She’s still dressed in her work pants and button down, though the latter is half tucked in and not buttoned at all.
“Hey,” she says softly, coming to meet the doctor. “Did you get my messages?”
Maura nods. “Yes,” she says pressing up onto her tiptoes to kiss Jane’s cheek. “I was in back to back, we caught a double just at the end.” She pauses, trying to make out Jane’s expression under the exhaustion. “Is TJ okay?”
Jane sighs. “He’s okay I guess,” she says. “He’s in the trundle bed in Mae’s room. I didn’t want him to be alone.” Jane runs a hand through her hair. “I can move him though if you’d rather. I-”
“It’s fine,” Maura says quickly. She reaches out to still Jane’s nervous hands. “What happened, honey?”
Jane shuts her eyes at Maura’s tone, as though...trying not to cry. Maura puts her hand on the back of Jane’s neck, alarmed. She isn’t used to seeing her girlfriend this way.
“He’s had his five-year chip for a month,” she says, her voice is deep and heavy. The air before a storm.
“I’m sorry,” Maura says slowly, though it feels inadequate in this situation. “Addiction is a difficult and-”
“Can you not give me the latest statistics on how alcohol is a disease right now?” Jane pulls away, running both hands through her hair. She takes a deep breath.
“I’m sorry,” she says, turning back to Maura. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
Maura swallows. “It’s okay,” she says honestly. “You’ve had a difficult day.”
Jane glances at her, expression dark, and then turns away. “There’s mail for you on the side table,” she says, and then she disappears into the kitchen.
Maura follows after Jane curiously, confused about this seeming change in direction until she spots the mail on the counter.
It is already open. The perfect cursive across the top says Maura & Mae Isles-Fairfield, and Maura knows that Garrett had it addressed purposefully, either so that Mae would open it without her, or so that Jane would see the hyphenated last names.
Lucky Garrett, killing two birds with one stone.
Maura picks up the wedding invitation and slides the fancy, gossamer paper out of the envelope.
Garrett Malcolm Fairfield & Victoria Allison Harridan request your presence on the fifth day of August, two thousand and sixteen.
At the Four Seasons in New York City, New York
The date rings a bell that Maura cannot immediately place. She looks up at Jane, who is looking back at her, arms crossed.
“The date is familiar,” she says.
Jane snorts. “It’s the day the Derby starts.”
Maura is struck by sadness for her daughter, but it is eclipsed almost immediately by mild irritation at Jane.
“What did you tell her?” she asks. “Did she put two and two together?”
Jane blinks at her like she’s lost her mind. “Of course she did, Maura, she’s been putting two and two together since she was born.”
“And what did you tell her?” Maura presses.
"I told her that she could talk to you about it when you got home and that the two of you would make a decision."
It is Maura’s turn to make a sarcastic noise. “Lovely. Thank you.”
“What did you want me to tell her?” Jane asks, voice rising. “What did you want me to say?”
“It’s her decision,” Maura says. “She gets to decide, and neither of us is going to put pressure on her.”
Maura already knows what Mae’s decision will be, and she is determined that no one, not even Jane will discourage her daughter from trying to get close to her father.
Jane, for her part, is just staring at Maura. “Why do you do this?” she asks after a long moment.
“Do what?”
“Why do you get like this when he’s involved?”
Maura folds her arms, confused. “I don’t know what you’re talking-”
“You act like I’m going to just automatically turn into an asshole,” Jane says. “Like all of a sudden everything I ever told you about how much I love and respect you and your daughter is bullshit. Just me playing a long con.”
Jane steps forward to put her hands on the counter. “You think I don’t know what it’s like to be a little kid with a dad who disappoints you?” She looks at Maura with wide eyes. “Fuck, Maura, I just brought a little kid home with me who has a dad that knocked him into a bookcase and a mom that fled...without him. You think I don’t know how this shit feels?
“I know I’m not her father. I know I couldn’t ever take the place of a father. I know that the best I can hope for is, like, ‘my mom’s wife,’ or something equally lame. But if you think I didn’t feel the same rollercoaster of surprise, anger, disappointment, and fear when I saw that letter, then you haven’t been listening when I-”
But that is as far as Jane gets. Maura comes around the kitchen island and kisses her hard. She wants to say she's sorry, and that she doesn't know why Jane stays with her when she keeps messing up in this way. What she does instead is slide her hands up into Jane's hair and moves her mouth, so it is right over the detective's ear.
“Let’s go into the living room,” she says.
Jane lets out a long breath. “Not upstairs?” she asks.
"Not yet," Maura says, smiling as the hands on her waist start to fiddle with her zipper. "Not yet, love. Let's go to the living room, and I'll rub your back, and you can tell me what happened today. From the beginning."
Jane pulls away to look at her, surprised, and Maura sees that she has fallen into the Jane Rizzoli trap just like everyone else. She has allowed herself to believe that this woman has no breaking point, does not need support in the way that others do. She has allowed herself to take and take and take because it felt good to be on the receiving end for once.
But now it is time for that to end.
“Come on, Detective,” Maura coaxes, pulling Jane behind her. “Lose the button up.”
She feels Jane chuckle. “Yes, ma’am.”
……
……
Maura gets up with Mae and TJ the next morning, leaving Jane facedown in the pillow beside her to sleep off the stress of the night before.
She finds a moment to pull TJ aside and look at his ribs, black and blue, but not worthy of a trip to the doctor.
“Dad’ll call today to say he’s sorry,” TJ tells her confidently. “And we’ll find Mom, and go back home. It’s my job to put the days without drinks on the calendar. We have special stickers.”
Maura helps him pull his shirt down over his head, and doesn’t answer him directly. She has absolutely no idea what to say.
Jane joins them in the kitchen about twenty minutes later, dressed for work from the bottom down, but still with her makeup undone and her hair insane.
“Hey, you two,” she says to TJ and Mae. She smiles when Maura hands her a cup of coffee, leaning down to kiss her. “Morning, Mo.”
Maura smiles back at her.
Jane had cried last night. They'd sat together on the couch until almost 1AM, and Maura learned more about Jane than she had during the previous two months combined. When Jane had told her about Tommy's struggle with sobriety, and Lydia's worrying habit of running away without her son, Maura hadn't tried to come up with a solution. She hadn't listed off statistics or spoken about family studies.
She’d just kissed the tears as they fell from Jane’s lashes, and kept rubbing gently at the base of her girlfriend’s skull.
She tries now, to show without words how much closer she feels to Jane this morning. The way Jane smiles back, she thinks she is successful.
TJ and Mae are talking about the latest episode of their favorite TV show, joking and laughing like would-be siblings.
“Mommy,” Mae says at one point, “Next year, can TJ come to my camp?”
Maura smiles into TJ’s carefully hopeful face. “I don’t see why not,” she says. “We’ll certainly have to look into it.”
Something seems to occur to TJ, and he turns to Mae to speak to her in confidence. “But what if your mom and Aunt Jane like…” he tilts his head to the side, waiting for Mae to understand. “You know...”
Maura opens her mouth to answer this, but Jane waves her off.
“We’ll still be friends, okay?” Mae says.
TJ looks doubtful. “When my dad and mom fight, they don’t want to see each other,” he says. “Once I had to miss laser tag because Mom wouldn’t bring me where dad was.”
Mae thinks this over for a short while, brow creased. Then she smiles and picks up her cereal spoon.
“Jane’s not like that,” she says simply. “Neither is my Mommy.”
And TJ’s face brightens as he too goes back to his breakfast.
“Oh yeah,” he says, mouth full. “Duh.”
Jane takes a final swig of coffee and then heads back toward the stairs. "Kiddos be ready to go in fifteen," she calls and then gestures that Maura should follow her into the hall.
“Hey,” she says when they are there. “I just wanted to say...thank you for last night. I really...I needed that a lot. And...it meant, it made me feel…” but she trails off, lost for words.
Maura leans in to kiss the side of Jane’s mouth.
“I love you,” she says. “I love you very, very much.”
And Jane grins and turns away.
“Yeah,” she says over her shoulder. “Duh.”