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“What is that supposed to mean?” Jon asked you. He didn’t exactly corner you into a wall, but it certainly felt that way. You couldn’t look into his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I just don’t believe—I don’t think we could work, Jon,” you confessed. You watched his face fall. You sighed knowing you hurt him which was exactly what you didn’t want to happen. Jon lowered the roses he gathered for you.
“Do you wish for me to leave you alone? Have I become a nuisance to you?”
“No, no, no.” Your fingers wrapped around his wrist. “You are never a bother to me.”
“Then why? Have I done something wrong? Did I offend you, my lady?” Jon asked. He tugged at your heartstrings when he called you ‘my lady’. Your family had wealth. As the eldest girl in your family and Sansa’s lady in waiting, your only job was to marry higher than your own status. Jon was a bastard with nothing to his name.
“Jon, please don’t make this harder—
“Harder? Did I confuse your actions for affections? Do you think I’m an idiot?”
“No, but—
“But what?” Jon’s tone turned cold. You flinched. Jon backed away and exhaled, realizing his temper was too intense. His bit his bottom lip for a moment and spoke again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just need to understand. Why don’t you want to be with me?”
“I can’t. My family expects me to marry someone better than me.”
“Not a bastard,” Jon said the harsher words. He smiled and chuckled. “I understand now. Everything is so clear.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s what you’re implying,” Jon’s tone turned to ice again. He started to walk away from you. Your fingers reached out for him, but they didn’t quite reach. You were going to lose him if you did nothing. If you did something, you knew your heart wouldn’t be able to stop. You needed to make the decision fast. Jon kept walking away from you without looking back. Your hand still reached out to him.
Jon stopped in his tracks. You lowered your hand and put it back at your side. Almost ashamed that you left it in the air for that long. Jon’s head turned to the side. His breathing was quiet, but you could still see the clouds of it expel from his mouth. You did the same.
That’s when you heard them.
Men yelling and calling out for help. Swords clanging against each other. The disturbance grew louder each second. Enemies were inside Winterfell. It was close to the middle of the night. The realization of a horrid reality hit you hard. Winterfell was under attack while everyone was sleeping.
Jon turned quickly and headed straight to you. He grabbed your wrist and took off with you. You tripped over your own skirts, but caught yourself and started running with him. Both of you ran through an empty hallway where your footsteps echoed. Jon veered to his left, taking you with him. You almost fell, but he caught you.
His arms wrapped around your waist as he backed into the armory. Jon slowly closed the door and locked it from the inside. You exhaled, feeling safe. Jon didn’t let go of you too easily. Both of you stood close to the door waiting for any kind of sound or cry. Careful silence filled the air. The only thing that grew loud was your own heartbeat quickening from the panic you felt.
“Jon—
“Shh,” he calmed you. “I know. I know.”
“What do we do?” you whispered. Jon put his hand over your mouth and listened intently. Again, you heard nothing except for Jon’s breathing. Jon turned away from you and grabbed another sword. He secured it to his right side. He looked around the darkened room and grabbed something else. As he walked towards you, your eyes caught the shine of a dagger.
He placed the dagger’s handle in your palms. It felt heavy, but you could hurt someone with it if you needed to. You hoped you didn’t.
“For your safety,” he explained. Jon held your hands and looked into your eyes. His dark brown eyes seemed black in this room. “Do not stray from me. Stay close to me. Do you understand? Say yes if you do.”
“Yes,” you quickly answered.
“If something goes wrong, or I get hurt, you run. Do you hear me? Run as far as you can.”
“But you won’t.”
“If I do, run. Promise me that you will.”
“I promise,” you said firmly, looking closer into his pools of brown. They were the color of the soil after the snow melted. The color of the tree bark after it’s darkened from the rain. They held darkness inside of them. They were tainted by death, but cured by love.
Jon grabbed your hand again. Your fingers interlocked with each other. This time, you held onto him tight. You were ready. Both of you silenced once more, listening to every sound your ears could find. You ignored your own heartbeat. You ignored the air Jon expelled into the night. The armory door creaked open. Its hinges too old for it to be quiet.
In the distance, you could hear the faint cries of men fighting each other. They were coming closer. Your nails dug into Jon’s arm. Footsteps in the hallway increased.
Jon started to run with you. It started out as a quick jog, but as soon as you picked up your skirts, your pace grew desperate. Your heart pounded into your chest. Jon stopped you from running once you reached a fork in the hallways. Your skirts flew, but then back into place. Jon’s hand slid up your arm.
“If we go right, we would reach the kennels. If we go left, we get to the library tower,” Jon presented you with the options.
“If we wake the dogs, they’ll be loud. We’ll get caught,” you told him.
“I know,” Jon looked left again. “If I can guarantee your safety, would you trust me?”
“I already trust you,” you told Jon. “I trust you with my life.” Both of you took the left route towards the library tower. Books and pages had been left on tables. A slow burning candle still burned when you saw it. You grabbed the candle and took Jon’s hand again. He felt warm, and you felt safer with him. The climb up the tower proved to be easier then you thought. Then again, any climb is easy when enemies are close behind.
The top of the tower had nearly nothing, but an open window facing the bell tower where ore guards were. You placed the burning candle there as a cry for help. Both of you watched three guards eye the candle, but do nothing. Quickly thinking, Jon took the candle and threw it towards the North Gate.
Disarray and damage had been done to it. That’s where they came from. The first guard rung the bell loud and clear, taking the hint Jon provided. The second and third guards quickly made their way down and into the battlements of the castle. Their feet flew across the ice covered ground.
You threw your arms around Jon, holding him tight.
“You’re brilliant!” You told him, burying your face into his chest. His eyes followed the guards and then turned to you. He rested his head on yours.
“I can’t stay here,” he told you quietly. “I have to help my family. I have to go back down there.”
“Then I’m coming with you.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am.” Your hands rested on Jon’s chest. “Sansa is my lady. Your family is important to me.” Jon’s eyes went wide. He started to shake his head.
“I can’t let you. What if you get attacked?”
You took out the dagger. “You gave me this for a reason. I know how to use it. You taught me.” Jon sighed and almost rolled his eyes. He set himself up for this. He looked back down the stairs for a moment and turned to you.
“We do this together. Do not stray from me. If something happens—
“I run. I know. I promise,” you reassured him. Your fingers found his again, and both of you climbed down the stairs. The commotion and fighting had extended further inside Winterfell. Lord Stark and his best men had to be awake by now. You looked towards Sansa’s room.
“Jon, I’m sure Robb and Theon can handle themselves. We need to get to your sisters.” When you finished your sentence, you watched Theon collapse in front of you. He had no cuts or wounds, but he groaned.
“Jon! Y/N! You’re okay! Winterfell—
“Under attack we know!” Jon finished and helped Theon up.
“They got the guards distracted at the North Gate. Robb and I held some off at the Hunter’s Gate. They’re closing in quickly!”
“What of Sansa? Arya? The boys?” you asked Theon.
“Lady Cat gathered the boys. Sansa and Arya were with Rodrik. All of them headed into the sept for safety.” Jon shot a look at you.
“You have to go there. Now.”
“Jon—
“No, you have to go there. Run. Now.” All three of you heard enemies breaking through a barrier hastily made between the kitchen and the library tower. You watched an axe make easy work against the wood. One man broke through and saw the three of you standing there. More men were behind him.
Jon shook you. “Y/N! You need to go! Run. You need to run! Please!”
The first man with an axe started to charge at the three of you. You felt the moments slow down. You watched the bald man with markings on his face leap as if he were a lion about to devour its prey. His axe was risen above his head, ready to swing at anything in front of him. Theon drew his sword, gripping it tightly. He hid the secret smile on his face to contain his excitement. Jon snapped you out of your odd moment.
At first, you didn’t realize what happened. One moment, you were frozen in place from the fear that turned your body cold. The next you felt a warmth you’ve never felt before. His lips caressed yours so softly and aggressively that everything snapped back into place. Your eyes found Jon’s dark ones again.
“Run!” he shouted at you. Your skirts flew in the air as you sprinted towards the safest place in Winterfell: the Sept. Your hands kept a tight grip on your skirts and the dagger while your hair whipped behind you. Your fear carried you across the courtyard and into the next corridor.
You still hear men fighting all around you. A small fire had broken out in the courtyard. It spread on the trees and the exposed grass around it. You thought to stop the fire for a moment until you heard Jon’s voice again.
Run.
The Sept was closer now. You could see Rodrik and his men surround the Sept. They fought the same enemies that attacked Theon and Jon near the kitchens. The same markings were around their eyes and head. They looked hungry and they relished in every swing of their weapon against Stark’s bannermen.
You stopped once more in your tracks. How you would get into the Sept if enemies surrounded it? You knew you had to think fast. You couldn’t tell if enemies were behind you. You wouldn’t dare look away from the men in front of you.
One man took down one of the enemies with a final blow to his chest. His eye caught yours. He shouted for you, but before you could sprint again, a man with an axe caught you by your hair. You winced in pain. He pulled you back and forced you to the ground. He laughed as he dragged you along the dirty snow ground. You cried out in pain.
Suddenly, the man stopped laughing and his grip on you loosened. You watched his head drop to your side. His open eyes still stared at you. You felt a hand help you up and push you towards the Sept.
“Jon!” you cried his name out.
“Don’t. Just go! Please!” He begged.
“Over here, Y/N! Please hurry! More of them are coming!” Rodrik guided you inside the Sept where the rest of the Stark family hid. More members of the house found shelter there as well. You took place beside Sansa as she embraced you tightly, silently thanking the gods you were unharmed. Both of you prayed and prayed for this horrid night to end. You watched the sun peak through the colored windows of the Sept while everyone was escorted to their rooms again. Sansa and you shielded your eyes from the dead remains left in the courtyard. You shuddered to think how many men Jon had killed himself.
After you settled Sansa in and she finally fell asleep, you closed the door to her room slowly. The door clicked shut. You looked up to find an exhausted and wild Jon looking back at you. You ran into his arms again. Jon’s arms squeezed you into him as if he wanted you close to him as much as possible.
“Jon,” you said.
“I know,” he told you. “You don’t have to say anything.” You smelled the dirt and the cold on him. You buried your face into his chest and let out an exhausted sob. It had been a long night for both of you.
“I’m sorry for what I said last night.”
“Y/N, please don’t—
“Let me finish.” You pulled yourself away from him. Tears tugged at your eyes. You found a new calm before you spoke again. “No one has ever loved me like you have, and I don’t believe no one ever will. Just as no one has ever loved you like I will. Last night, I prayed for you. I begged the gods to spare you for me. I don’t think I could live without you.”
Jon kissed your face over and over again. He let himself go and fulfilled his selfish desire for you. You kissed him back with as much muster as you could for a sleepless night. Both of you were hungry for the other’s touch.
“I fought for you. I took down every single one of them just so they couldn’t get to you.” Jon’s thumb caressed your cheek. His forehead rested against yours. Your fingers found each other. This long night was over, and silence fell between you two again. You heard everyone go about and clean messes. You heard footsteps around you. None of it mattered. You belonged to Jon, and he belonged to you. You wouldn’t run from him again.