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The nightmares woke Natasha up again, just as they had done every night since it had happened. Since half the universe had turned to dust. She woke with barely any movement, just like she had done when she was in the Red Room: even after all these years, she still feared waking up too loudly, less she be punished. After a few moments, she was able to get her breathing back under control and felt her heartbeat slow to a normal rhythm.
She pushed the covers from her body and walked as quietly as possible to the door. As she walked down the corridor, she paused outside the bedrooms of each of her friends, listening for the sound of their breathing. Rationally, she knew who they had lost as a result of the fight with Thanos, but sometimes the nightmares seemed so real, she had to be sure. The Barton family, all of which had come to stay at the compound after everything had happened, were sound asleep in their rooms. Steve, Thor, Rhodey, Rocket and Nebula, all still there. She could hear whispers coming from Tony and Pepper’s room; Tony had made it back from space eventually but hadn’t come back the same. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what had happened; eye witnesses had seen Spider-Man go on the alien spaceship but hadn’t returned to Earth with Tony.
She continued down the hall, pausing again, this time outside Bruce’s room. She was greeted with silence.
“Bruce,” she called out softly, knuckles lightly knocking on the door. “You in there?” When she still had no response, she pushed the door open and slipped into the room. Nothing; the room was empty. The bed was unmade, the sheets hastily thrown to the side and abandoned. A quick press of the back of her hand to the still warm bed confirmed that he’d not long left.
As she left his room and made her way down the hall to common areas, she noticed the light spilling out from the kitchen. She rounded the corner and saw him sat on one of the stools round the kitchen island, his hands firmly clasped around a glass of water.
“Hey you,” she said quietly as to not scare him. “Can’t sleep?”
Bruce’s head snapped up at the sound of her voice. “Natasha?” He looked around the room until his eyes came to rest on her stood in the doorway, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and an over sized t-shirt. He smirked slightly when he realised that it was one of his own t-shirts, one that he hadn’t seen amongst the rest of his belongings that had been moved to the compound to the tower; she must’ve taken it. “What are you doing up?”
“Bad dream,” she explained simply. “I keep having the same one, ever since it happened. Only, this time it was different”
“How so?”
She shifted slightly from one foot to the other, not moving from where she was stood on the other side of the room. “It wasn’t just them that died, it was everyone else that I know. I just wanted to make sure that everyone was okay. But I got to your room and you were gone. I came here to see if I could find you”
“Sorry to scare you,” he said.
Natasha didn’t respond, just shifted again and stared down at her hands. After a moment she made her way across the room. The sound of her bare footsteps across the tiled floor seemed deafening in the otherwise silent room. she reached Bruce and instinctively wrapped her arms around his torso, squeezing him tightly. He quickly returned the embrace, resting his head atop of hers.
She pulled back after a moment and went to sit on the other side of the island. “Why are you still up?”
“Couldn’t get to sleep,” he sighed. “Everything just seems so weird being back here on Earth. I mean, while I was gone, you guys completely split and as much as I hate the sound of the team not being together, if this was the cost to bring us all back together, then what was the point?”
“I’m sorry,” Natasha said.
Bruce looked over at her, confused. “What are you talking about? It wasn’t your fault. You know what Steve and Tony are like, once all that got going, there was nothing that anyone could’ve done to stop them”
“That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry for what I did to you in Sokovia, pushing you off that cliff,” she corrected. “I understand why you didn’t want to come back after that”
“Natasha, you really think that’s why I didn’t come back to you?” he asked. She nodded without meeting his gaze. “Until Thor found me on Sakaar, I hadn’t turned back from the Hulk since I’d left Sokovia. Natasha, if had been able to find a way to come back home, to you, then I would’ve, believe me”
“I believe you,” she promised. “Thor hasn’t said much about what happened to the two of you there, but he did mention how disorientated you when you first turned back. I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been for you”
“It wasn’t Thor that turned me back, it was you. Sure, he’s the one that went to the quinjet and I followed him, but I saw the recording of the last call that was made to the quinjet. Seeing you again, it was enough to turn me back from being the Hulk,” he said. Natasha smiled sweetly at him. “After I turned back, you were one of the first things I asked about”
“One of?” she asked teasingly.
“Hey, the last I remembered an evil AI I’d helped to create was about to use Novi Grad to cause an extinction level event,” he defended. “I thought I’d better check up on the world firstly, but you came a very close second.” The two laughed lightly, but the sound vanished as quickly as it came. It left behind a comfortable silence and a look on Bruce’s face as he watched Natasha (love? Could that be it?).
“If you make some cheesy comment calling me your world, I will kill you,” she warned.
Bruce laughed aloud again. “I would hope that you would.” He paused for a moment, before continuing. “Did you mean what you said? Back at the farm, about running away together”
“Every word.” And she did. Even three years later, she stood by what she said that day. “But it’s not like we can do that now. Can’t just leave the team like this, the whole world even”
“I know,” he said. “So, the to do list: 1) bring back everyone that was turned to dust, 2) make that bastard pay for what he did and 3) ditch this place once the world is saved and go hide away on a farm somewhere, together”
Natasha smiled. “You know, I’m more a remote cabin kinda girl, don’t have to deal with all the animals.” She watched as smiled at her, the joy clear on his face as she agreed to his plans. Her hand moved over the table, coming to rest next to him. “I meant what I said when you busted me from the cell in Sokovia as well”
I adore you.
The memory of what she’d said that day hung over the room as Bruce moved both of his hands to cup hers on the table. Both stared at the other in silence before Bruce leant over the table to kiss her softly. Natasha did a sharp intake of breath in shock, but quickly returned the kiss none the less, her free hand coming up to cup his cheek. After a few moment’s they both pulled back enough that their lips no longer touched, but not so much that their foreheads still did.
“I love you,” he whispered. He didn’t care what she thought, if they’d missed their window, all he knew was that after all this time, after all they’d lost, he couldn’t go on another moment without telling her. She may not say it back, but at least she knew, at least-
“I love you too,” Natasha whispered back. She grinned slightly when she saw the shocked look on his face. “I know I didn’t say it in that way in Sokovia, but that’s what I meant, it’s what I always meant. I love you Bruce Banner”
“I love you too Natasha Romanoff,” he said.
Natasha finally pulled back fully. “We should probably go to back to bed. After all, it’s the middle of the night, why are we both still awake?”
He smiled at her and followed her out of the kitchen, making sure to turn off the light as he went, leaving them with only the moonlight spilling through the windows to guide their way. It took them a couple of minutes to reach their rooms; they were near to each other as they both preferred the quiet of being further away from the noise of the shared areas of the living quarters. Natasha pulled her hand away from his, with what he could only describe as reluctance and began to walk to her door alone.
“Nightmares,” he said suddenly. Natasha turned to look at him in confusion. “You asked me why we were both still awake and it’s because of the nightmares. And not wanting to be alone, that’s why you go and check on everyone when you wake up, to make sure they haven’t left you”
“And you think not being alone would help?” she asked. He nodded slightly and she reached her hand out to him and the two walked into her room, closing the door quietly behind them. She led him to her bed and the two climbed in and curled up together, her burying her face against his chest, resting one hand over his heart and wrapping both arms tightly around her. Just as they’d done years ago at the Barton farm, although they’d denied it the next morning to the rest of the team (except Laura, she’d seen and Natasha couldn’t lie to her).
And for the first time in so long, both Bruce and Natasha slept the rest of the night without any problem.