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My heart pounded against my rib cage, feeling like it was trying to break free of its flesh and bone confines as I ran for my life through the halls of the maze. My footsteps and ragged breaths echoed off the cold stone walls as I willed my body to move faster. Time was against me now and it looked like it was going to win but I wasn’t going to go down without a fight. My thoughts remained focused on one thing, one person, the boy I was coming back to.
There was nothing official going on between Newt and I, we were just friends and that was probably all we ever would be but that never stopped me from wanting more. If it weren’t for Newt I might have given up long ago, probably would have ran straight into the maze on my first day when I found out our situation. But Newt was there that day and he made me believe everything would get better, helped me through every low moment and became my rock in the Glade. It broke my heart the day Minho brought his broken body from the maze. Until that day I had no idea just how much Newt was struggling, and I decided I would do whatever it took to help him and get everyone out. I decided to become a runner.
In this moment though I almost wished I hadn’t. The sound of stone grinding on stone blasted my eardrums and sickening fear struck my heart. I rounded one last corner and was greeted by the screams of the other gladers. The long corridor stretched before me and the gap between the doors drew ever closer together. A little voice in my mind was telling me I couldn’t make it but I blocked it out as my gaze locked on Newt. The raw emotion on his face motivated me to push my body to its limit. I couldn’t do anything that would cause him pain. 10 metres now stood between me and the glade and I could see all the boys gathered around the rapidly closing doors. It would be a tight squeeze when I got there but I could make it. Newt, Minho, Gally, Ben, and Winston stood closest to the doors, all of them screaming at me to keep going. I smiled slightly as I got ever closer, overwhelmed by how much they all cared.
Seeing them all there caused my concentration to lapse and I didn’t notice the vine in my path until it caught around my ankle and sent me tumbling to the floor. I looked down to where I was entangled with the vine and attempted to free myself when I heard a heart-wrenching scream from beyond the door. I glanced up and saw Newt and Minho being held back by the other boys, tears streaming down their faces as the doors closed to only a foot apart. I’d lost my chance and I began to cry myself as I looked at Newt, letting out a quiet “I’m Sorry” and offering a small smile before the doors finally met and left me alone in the fading light of the maze.
As I looked down at the woven band around my wrist, the cause of my current predicament, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing freely down my cheeks. The look on Newts face as the doors shut was stuck in my mind and I hated myself that I had been the cause of it. I couldn’t make that pain go away and for the first time since we’d met I could do nothing to comfort him. I know Newt well enough to know that it will take him a long time to get over something like this and the thought that he would suffer because of me was unbearable so there was only one thing to do. I had to survive a night in the maze. Only problem is, no one’s ever done that before. Still, I’m the queen of firsts: first girl in the Glade, first person to beat Gally in the ring, first person to keep up with Minho in the maze, I could be the first to survive a night out here, I had to.
Decision made, I pulled myself together and got to my feet. I stared towards the depths of the maze, a challenging look set on my face, “Do your worst, maze.” And with that I set off back into its depth and started the longest night of my life.
I stood by the maze doors, staring down the long corridor waiting for (Y/N) to get back. This was wrong, so wrong. (Y/N) was never late, in fact she was usually the first runner back. I fiddled with the bands on my wrist, running my finger lightly across the smallest, a twin to the one (Y/N) wore on her own wrist.
“Where the shuck is she?” Minho voiced my thoughts as he came to stand beside me. I could tell he was just as worried as I was. He saw her as a little sister and something bad happening to her was our shared worst nightmare.
“She’ll make it back,” my voice betrayed my lack of confidence, “she has to make it back,” I added more quietly. Minho gave my shoulder a squeeze and threw a weak smile my way, he knew exactly how I felt about (Y/N), how I’d felt about her since the day she came up in the box, and he knew what her absence was doing to me. We slipped back into silence, watching the maze for any sign of her. By now almost all the boys had gathered round the entrance, anxiously awaiting her return.
A wind rushed down the corridor towards us and my pulse started racing. No, not yet, no, she’s not back yet, this can’t be happening! My thoughts were wild as the grinding of stone started up and the doors began to move towards each other.
Just then I saw a small figure race around the corner towards us, (Y/N). All the boys around me started screaming words of encouragement but I stood there frozen, I still wasn’t sure she’d make it. Her eyes locked on mine and everything that wasn’t her faded away. I pleaded to her with my eyes to just keep going, it hurt to see her so close but be unable to go to her, to save her, I needed her to be safe.
10 metres now stood between us and I joined in the shouts of encouragement, if mine were more hysterical no one noticed. I saw her smile slightly before she suddenly fell to the ground, her foot caught in a vine. Her progress had stopped but the doors refused to. Twin screams pierced the air and I barely recognised one of them as my own as I attempted to launch myself into the maze. I didn’t get more than a step before I could feel others holding me back. Dimly I registered the same thing happening to Minho beside me but my eyes were locked on (Y/N), my vision becoming blurry as tears poured out of me and I screamed again. She looked at me as the doors were about to meet and smiled weakly, tears in her own eyes, as she said something too quiet to catch before the doors slammed shut.
The hands holding me back finally let me go and I fell to my knees beside the doors, punching them and pleading with the creators to open them again and let her out. I was completely wrapped up in my own thoughts not noticing or caring about anything going on around me as I sobbed. (Y/N) was gone. She was out there in that maze alone and there was nothing I could do to help her. The thought broke me. She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve to have her life ripped away, didn’t deserve to be stuck in this place, and she certainly didn’t deserve to face the horrors of the maze.
I stayed there for what felt like hours but could have been minutes, time didn’t matter to me, nothing mattered to me then. At some point my tears had stopped and dried on my cheeks and my breathing had evened out but I still couldn’t bring myself to move.
The sun had almost set before I saw another glader again when Minho came over and sat with me. I ignored him for several minutes and he seemed content to sit with me in silence. I knew he must have been suffering too but I couldn’t help him right now, I could barely handle my own grief. Eventually he turned towards me and spoke.
“Frypan saved you some food, you should eat something and then get some sleep.”
I finally looked at him and saw his eyes were puffy from crying, it would take him a long time to get over this too.
“She’s gone, Min, I can’t believe she’s gone,” I could feel fresh tears pricking my eyes and my throat was raw from my earlier screams. Minho gave me a sympathetic look and got to his feet, tugging me up after and pulling me into a hug.
“I know Newt, I know how awful this is, but there’s nothing we can do right now.” I felt him take a steadying breath against me, a sign he was holding back more tears of his own, “believe me, I wish there was something I could do to get her out of there, wish I could take her place or just, I don’t know, do something, but I can’t and it’s eating me up inside. I know it’s eating you up too but…we’ve just got to try to keep going ‘kay? I know (Y/N) wouldn’t want us to give up”
I sighed, I knew he was right but nothing he said could calm the storm of emotions raging inside me. He pulled away from me, leaving one arm around my shoulders to lead my numb body back to the homestead. He gently shoved me into a chair and Frypan placed a plate of food in front of me. I slowly ate everything in front of me without tasting it and when I was done Minho led me to my room.
“Let me know if you need anything,” he said before closing the door and leaving me alone again. Immediately I collapsed on the bed and curled up in a ball. I started crying again, choking on broken sobs as I slowly drifted to sleep.
Soft light finally started appearing over the tops of the maze walls, bathing them in an orange hue that was a gift to my eyes. My legs were shaking with fatigue and my whole body was aching from a night of running the maze and dodging grievers. It was a small miracle I was alive. I pulled a bottle from my running harness and tipped the last couple of water drops into my mouth, I’d have to thank Newt for insisting I packed extra water and a snack, I’m pretty sure it saved my life.
The screaming of the grievers was all but gone now and I felt relief flood my body, the horror was over, I could go home. I started jogging towards where I thought the doors were. In truth I wasn’t entirely sure exactly where I was in the maze, keeping track of every turn you took running from a giant amalgamation of flesh and machine wasn’t exactly a priority.
It took me about half an hour, but I finally managed to find my way back to the Glade, just before I turned the last corner I heard the mechanics in the doors grind to a halt as they opened fully. If I hadn’t been so exhausted I might have let out a shout of triumph as I entered the last long corridor leading to the Glade. I could see several of the boys gathered by the open doors and I heard them begin to yell and clap as I jogged towards them.
The moment I crossed the threshold I collapsed, no longer able to keep myself upright. Minho was there and caught me before I hit the ground. He gently lowered me to the floor and I lay on my back, eyes shut and breathing heavily while the others gathered around me, mumbling things I was too tired to pay attention to. Someone handed me a bottle of water and I drank it greedily, the cold refreshing liquid breathing some life back into my body.
“Goddamnit you slinthead, you gave us a scare,” Minho said as he pulled me into a bone crushing hug, “I’m so glad you’re okay.” I could feel a few tears soaking into my t-shirt and I started crying along with him.
“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I never wanted to do anything to make you guys worry,” I sobbed into his shoulder.
“How? How did you survive? No one’s ever survived a night in the maze” another glader asked, awe in their voice. I think it was Matt, but I couldn’t be sure.
“I survived because I’m better than you,” my voice dripped with false arrogance as I grinned and winked at the boys around me. “No, honestly I don’t know how I got through it, but I didn’t want to die out there and there was something here I didn’t want to leave behind.” Minho grinned knowingly at me when I said that, and I punched his arm to keep him quiet.
Gally, Winston, Ben, and Alby came over then, each of them giving me a quick hug before Alby called Clint and Jeff to check me over. It turned out my ankle was sprained from where I tripped near the doors last night and then spent the night running on the injury. I had a number of scrapes on my face and arms and some bruises but nothing too serious so after wrapping some support round my ankle the two medjacks left, telling me to swing by when I’d slept a bit to get patched up. Minho helped me to my feet and I looked around the boys, suddenly realising that one important person was missing.
“Where’s Newt?” I asked no one in particular.
“Asleep, he…had a rough time last night so we left him alone this morning,” Minho answered me, “I think Alby’s gone to get him up now.”
As if summoned by his words, Newt and Alby appeared in the doorway to the homestead. From the distance I couldn’t see much but I could tell that Newt was slumped over and moving with none of his usual liveliness. My heart broke at the sight of him so downtrodden and I cursed myself that it was my fault. Alby said something to him and his head shot up and looked in my direction. The boys between us moved and we finally had a clear view of each other.
He took a hesitant step forward as if he didn’t believe it was really me and I copied his movement before suddenly we were both running towards each other. We collided in the middle of the Glade, arms wrapped tightly around each other and tears flowing freely down both our faces. I squeezed him as tightly as I could, silently telling him that I’d never let him go again as he returned the sentiment with his own embrace.
Eventually we pulled apart and Newt’s hands came up to cup my head as he stared down at me.
“Surprise,” I offered him a small smile, my own hands fisting in his shirt, keeping him as close to me as possible.
“Oh my god, you’re here, you’re really here,” a relieved smile worked its way onto his face, one which I could just about make out through the blur caused by my tears.
“Yes Newt, I’m here, I’m safe, I came back for you,” I reached up to wipe away some of his tears and he leaned into my hand, placing a gentle kiss to my palm which sent my pulse racing.
“What happened (Y/N)?” I knew he didn’t mean while I was locked in, he could fill in the blanks of that pretty easily.
“I…,” I looked down at my wrist and the bracelet encircling it, unwilling to meet his gaze. I’d caused him so much pain getting trapped last night, and the reason was so stupid. Newt stroked my hair, waiting patiently as I tried to find the words to explain and make him understand. “This is gonna sound so stupid, promise you won’t get mad at me?”
“I promise,” Newt replied without hesitation.
“Okay, so, I was late because I went back on my way to the Glade.” I saw is brow furrow in confusion, “I went back for this,” I raised my hand and showed him the bracelet on my wrist, I could see its twin on Newts wrist out of the corner of my eye. “I…I don’t know how it happened but…it fell off while I was running yesterday, and…and…I cou…couldn’t bare the though of losing it. Newt, you gave that to me, it…it’s special to me, to both of us. I didn’t want to lose it and I thought you’d be upset if I did. So…so I went back to get it and…I must have taken longer than I thought, cause suddenly it was…getting late, and I wasn’t back and I tried…shuck I tried so hard to make it back, because I didn’t want to worry you and…god I’m just so so sorry.”
I finally stopped rambling but still couldn’t meet Newt’s gaze. It all seemed so stupid now but at the time it was so important to me to get the bracelet back. It used to be Newts and he gave it to me after he recovered from his jump in the maze. It was a friendship bracelet of sorts, but it was so much more than that. It was our promise to always be there for each other and to never give up hope. Our promise that one day we’d get out of this. Losing it felt like breaking that promise.
Newt moved a hand under my chin and tilted my head up to look at him, “(Y/N), god (Y/N), you beautiful idiot. Did you really think I’d be that upset? I know it means a lot but it’s just a bracelet, I’d rather you were safe here with me. You’re more important to me than anything, please, please don’t do anything like that again. I couldn’t bare it if I lost you.” I gave a small nod and he pulled me into another hug. “I could have lost you, god I really could have lost you.”
“You didn’t, I’m fine, I’m here with you, I’m not going anywhere,” I kept repeating those words as I rubbed circles on his back, finally able to offer him the comfort I’d wanted to since I saw his face at the doors last night. Newt’s breathing started to even out as he relaxed in the knowledge that I was back and I was okay. Every second pressed against him, feeling and seeing just how much he cared sent a fluttering feeling through my stomach. God I loved him so much and I never wanted to leave his arms.
He pulled me in even tighter and softly whispered, “I’m so glad you survived, I love you and I never want anything bad to happen to you again.” I froze at the confession. I was 90% sure he said that without thinking because I felt his body stiffen a second after mine.
“Wh-what did you say?” I pulled away slightly to look at him.
“Th-that I never want a-anything bad to happen to you,” Newt stumbled over his words, clearly embarrassed by his accidental confession and trying to pretend it hadn’t happened. Well that just wasn’t going to work for me.
“No, before that. You…you love me?”
Newt blushed and looked away, “I…yes I love you. But just, just pretend I didn’t say anything okay. I know you don’t see me like that and I didn’t mean to tell you and oh god I’ve just ruined everything haven’t I? I’m so sorry (Y/N), damnit I’m such a bloody slinthead, why can’t I just keep my mouth shut? I-“ It took me a while to process what he was saying but I pressed my lips to his and cut off his potentially endless rambling. I could feel the tension fade out of him as I pulled away and smiled shyly up at him.
“Er, so I kinda love you too Newt.”
He broke out into a huge grin at that and my own smile widened to match before he ducked his head back down to place another kiss on my lips, this one deeper and more passionate. I rose up on my toes to make it easier on both of us and poured every bit of love I could into the kiss. A year’s worth of hidden feelings finally let out in one magical kiss better than anything I’d experienced before – not that I’d had any previous experience anyway.
His arms were tight around my waist and my hands were tangled in his hair as we kissed like there was nothing else in the world. Eventually, as all good things do, the kiss came to an end and I pulled back, gasping for breath. Newt smiled down at me and I’d never seen him look so happy before, I was lost in his gaze until a shrill whistle cut through the air.
I turned to see Minho and some of our other friends standing a few feet away, smug grins on each of their faces. When I turned to them they all broke out into applause and sent up a chorus of cheers and whistles. I felt my face flush with a little embarrassment, but I caught Minho’s eye and he gave me a more tender smile which told me how happy he really was.
“Glad you two shanks finally stopped being idiots and admitted your feelings,” Gally called as he wandered by.
“Yeah, we’ve been dealing with your pining for a year now, it’s about time something happened,” Alby added coming over to join the group. Everyone, including Newt and I, laughed at that.
“Well I wanted a near-death experience to add a little drama to the event,” I said jokingly, “and that’s not an easy thing to orchestrate.”
“You certainly got your wish there then love,” Newt wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side, “maybe next time just fall of a ladder or something and let me catch you instead of making friends with grievers.”
“I’ll bare that in mind,” I said cheekily.
“Right, let’s get you off to bed then, you look like klunk.”
“Rude. I feel like klunk though, so I’ll let you off this time, consider this a warning though.” I gave him a stern look, well as stern as I could manage, and we started walking slowly towards the homestead. My ankle had begun to hurt again so it was slow progress and I had to lean on Newt a lot but I savoured the contact.
When we finally got to my room I kicked off my shoes and flopped down on the comfy bed, letting out a sound of contentment as I did so. I heard Newt moving towards the door and turned my head to look at him.
“Where are you going?” he seemed confused as he looked between me and the door, “stay with me.” He didn’t need to be asked twice and gently shut the door before making his way to the bed and laying down beside me. I curled into his side, head resting on his chest and one arm draped across his stomach. I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders and his other hand entwine with mine. Comfortable and safe I felt myself begin to drift off immediately, the last thing I felt being a light kiss to my forehead before I fell into a blissful sleep.